Thursday, September 30, 2010

Be Still My Heart

 
There was a freaking huge, ugly, no good very bad mouse in my office today!!!!!!!!!
 
 
 

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Two Things

Chana, I love you for turning me onto FaceinHole.com.  Because as you can see, my boyfriend hooked up with me today.  Look at those abs.  yum.yum.yum.

Before you watch the following be advised that:
A.  Scary Woman, I mean, really scary, hide under your bed scary.
B.  Woman that forgets words, like tape dispenser.

video

Seriously, Miss A will say "yes or no grammie" when she wants something.  She is 3.

Ok, you can come out of hiding.  I promise not to scare you like that very often.  :)

Contemplating Life

Have you ever just sat and contemplated why you were born a human?  Maybe it's just me.  Think about it a minute.
 
Fruit Flies.  Ummm, I can't even fathom what purpose they have in life except to bug me when I'm eating.  The little suckers are fast too, it takes sheer luck and determination to swat those suckers.

 Next we have an ant.  Again, strong little suckers, can lift tons of weight.  Squish, you're dead.  What a life.

 Tarantula's.  Watched on the news yesterday that the male species waits for a decade to mate, finally does, and then whammo, 2 weeks later he is dead.  That is just all kinds of wrong.  Glad I wasn't born a male tarantula.


We all know how I feel about mice.  Why wasn't I born as a mouse?  Maybe I was a mouse, in a previous life, and got caught in a trap or eaten by a cat. 
 Speaking of cats.  Why wasn't I born as a cat.  I'm glad I wasn't, because they like to eat mice.  Just yuk. 


I would much rather be a cat than a dog.  Cats will at least cover their poop with the cat litter.  Dogs, well, they will eat it.  That is just all kinds of sick and wrong.

Why wasn't I born a cow.  They have more than one stomach.  They are born to either give milk, or eat. 
Where am I going with the post.  Besides a little bit whackie.  
 
 I just would like to know why we are born human, and other things are born what they are.  Live for a few hours, live for years and years.  Have a brain that comprehends, or have a brain that doesn't think about things except the next meal.  Did I do something right or was it just the luck of the draw? 
 
Or, do I just need some serious help?
 


Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Random Questions

 



 
Why are some people such negative Nellies?
 
Why do some people go out to their cars, all...day....long at work?
 
Why do I have a huge zit by my ear?
 
Why do some men talk like men when they are talking to other men, but when they are talking to women they talk like a weird pedophile?
 
Who let out all the dumb-a's today?
 
Why hasn't Shemar called me?
 

I'm A Sexy Grammie



Must go ice down my eyes.



Monday, September 27, 2010

Clutz or What?

Here's the deal.  I get to work this morning.  One of the alarms needs to be reset because the battery is starting to go low.  I ask kindly (what? I did, you unbelievers), to please climb up there and reset it because I have zero tolerance for some sounds.  That being one of them.
 
Two Hours Later, I am to my wits end.  I grab a chair, push it against the wall.
 
This is what the chair looked like before I stood on it. (except a different wall)
 

This is what the chair looked like after I stood on it for, oh about 1 second. 

Imagine if you will, Dazee, not the smallest fry in the pack, sprawled over this chair, butt sticking up into the air, my face where the seat of the chair is, my knees on the floor.  Also imagine the swearing that was coming out of my mouth.  But lo and behold, said boys that wouldn't turn off the damn beeping, sure came to my rescue.  Rat Bastards. 
 
I'm going with WHAT.  As in what the hell, next time help!!!
 


Sunday, September 26, 2010

Drivers Ed 101

I'm starting a new feature here in Dazee Land.  Because I am never at a loss for bad driving examples, we will be having Drivers Ed classes.  Don't worry, there will be no tests in this class.  Just handy information.
 
 



This fine outstanding citizen, is traveling 10 miles below the speed limit.  My dear students, when on the freeway, please drive at least at the posted speed limit.   If you have to keep calling all your fans while driving, first of all, you need to get a freaking life, and second, you are not so awesome when you are looking in your phonebook for a number.  Hand on phone, foot off gas pedal.  See the correlation.  It's not right.  Oh, and what the hell is up with you people that are in the drivers seat, but are leaning so far into the middle of the seat, that you look like an idiot?  Get out of my way, I have places to go and people to see. 
 
 



This guy pissed me off in so many different ways.  First of all, I had to catch up to the asswipe to take his picture.  This idiot is your classic, "I'm in the go straight lane, but wait, yeah, you in your nice car, wait, I'm going to turn right instead.  Get out of my way".  Yeah, hope you are watching at all times.  This dude probably doesn't have insurance and will run into you.  We had a girl do this exact thing to us one year when my kids were little and we had just bought our christmas tree.  Crash, oh man, "it's my aunts car, but she will pay for it".  Uh huh, and then I woke up.  Her name was Lua.  So, as of this moment class, if you ever run into this driver, you will say to yourself, It's a Lua Moment.  Practice it, alot, so it will just roll off your tongue when it happens to you.  I will also be using Lua moments in future classes.
 
Class is now dismissed.  Remember the things we learned today.  Do not lean to the middle of your car, you look stupid.  Lua (pronounced Lou-aa) moments, have your boxing gloves ready. 



 
Until next class
 
 

Saturday, September 25, 2010

Field Trip - Beds

Did you all bring your permission slips?  Cuz today we are going on another fun filled field trip to the bed store.  See that sign over there, You Break It, You Buy It.  Please grab your partners hand and don't touch anything.
 
Our first stop is this luxury bed.  While looking at this bed, I'm hearing Wayne and Garth's, "I'm not worthy, I'm not worthy ".  Just wow
For the guy that is a car lover, this one is right up your alley.  hahah, get it, right up your alley. 

 This little number is for the person that never moves during the night.  I'm just thinking, ummm, no.

 Now moving on to the bed that rocks.  Which brings to mind the saying, if the bed is rocking, don't come knocking.  What?


Alrighty then?
I like this next bed.  Its really rather inviting.  But then I've had enough of the campfire smell for awhile.
Now we are moving into the children's department.  All I can say is, where in the heck were these beds when I was growing up, or my kids. 
Ahoy Mattie.  I can totally see my grandson in this bed.  He would love, love, love it. 

 Du-Du, Du-Du, Du-Du (that was the jaws music, in case you didn't catch on)  I want it.  I want all the kids beds, ok.  I won't keep telling you that.


This one brings me back to my lost in space days.  Oh, how awesome would this one have been.

Swiss Family Robinson anyone?  I remember when I was just a wee child, going to Disneyland the first time.  I loved the Swiss Family Robinson House.  Can I just say, this one got me all kinds of excited.
I always wanted a playhouse outside.  But this one is even better.  A playhouse in your own room.  Sigh


Yet another one with a different flavor

Now, because I am awesome, I couldn't leave out all your furry friends.  I present to you, the Pet Bed Department.

For the little woman in your life
And the spoiled man in your life

 This one I just love.  And I don't have any pets.  But hearing about all of your pets that hog up your beds, this one would be perfect.

This concludes another field trip.  You have all be good girls and boys, lets go get ice cream.
 

Check Me Out

 



The ever lovely Bodacious Boomer needed to go away this weekend to make some money.  Imagine that, needing money to live.  Guess who she asked to do a Guest Post for her?  Have you figured it out yet?  I'll give you a clue.  It's probably a dreamer.  Did you guess.  You are soooo smart.  So click right here, to go see what I had on my mind.  And I might have said some naughty words, so if you get offended by them, then just don't go there. Mmmk? 
 
There is a couple of posts of her's that I really enjoyed.  Before you go happily on your way to read them, there might be words and pictures that will offend.  They are:
 
This post  about her dog Gizmo, and the dogsitter from hell.  Such a sad, sad post.
And this one is one of her Bizarrometer posts. 
 
She is a riot.  Now go check me out

Friday, September 24, 2010

It's How I Roll


No flip offs today.  Mostly because it's been a hell of a week, and the people I would have flipped off have been flipped off.  But I found this over on Boobies, Babies & A Blog.  She said she was giving it to "everyone" and that just happens to be my name, so I grabbed it. 

How many times have you been offended reading someone's blog? Why? I have never been offended when reading someone elses blog.  If they start going to a place I don't want to go, I will just move on to the next blog in my reader.  Just because they went there today, doesn't mean they will go there tomorrow. 

Do you judge people based on how they look?  Hell no.  (oops, did I just offend, yikes)  I myself get "the look".  And when I do, I just think to myself, too bad so sad for you.  I'm awesome, and you are the loser for not liking the cover. 

Do you cry easily? hmmm, my kids will say yes.  I admit, I cry over commercials.  Sad movies, always in the same part if I've watched it 100 times, when someone I love is hurting.  Ok, ok, I cry easily.  geez.

When is the last time you shed tears? Yesterday.  Not hard, ugly cry, just tears to the eyes.  Must be my celexa. :)

If you could have a do-over in life--tell me something you'd do different. Become my own person way sooner than 50.
What's one thing your significant other would change about you if he/she could? If you are single-what would you change about yourself? My snoring and my weight.  But he loves me still.  And you all already know how I feel about that man of mine. hubba-hubba
Why did your last relationship end? Well, lets see, the last time a relationship ended was the guy I was dating before I met my husband.  So, ummm, 32 years ago.  Why did it end.  Because I was sweet (du-du-du-du, dududu, and innocent) what the heck.  Where did that come from.  Anywho, he went to serve a mission for his church, and didn't even hug me at the airport.  Hugged everyone else there.  Put his hand out to me.  Screw that.  2 years is a long time buddy!  And then, the rest is history...............
Tell me three t.v. shows you can't live without! Criminal Minds (hi lover, you were HOT the other night), NCIS, Law & Order SVU, The Closer, Bones.  Do you see a connection here.   hmmmm.
That was fun.  Now go out there and do something I would do.  And if you want to grab the button, and answer the same questions, you can.  I'm supposed to come up with my own questions, but considering how well my meme's go, I have given up.
Tune in tomorrow, a surprise is in store.






Thursday, September 23, 2010

It's My Fault


According to the commenter's in today's edition of the local newspaper, that because Camp Williams was THERE FIRST, it's our fault for buying a house on the mountain.
Guess what? Today is the first day that I've started to feel the panic that I didn't feel the first few days as I was trying to keep my kids, grandkids, and hubby calm. I want to cry. I am all sorts of pissed. And then, to be told that it's MY FAULT for buying a house where I did and get over it! I guess if I bought a house next to one of these asswipes, and their kid started a fire at their house with matches, and then the embers started my house on fire, it would be my fault because they were there first. We bought our house because we loved the house, not because of where it was.
I'm still mad that CAMP WILLIAMS wanna-be's didn't follow protocol, knew it was a red flag wind day, still played army, and DIDN'T CALL THE FIRE INTO 911 UNTIL 3 FREAKING HOURS AFTER IT STARTED.
Oh but wait, it's my fault. my bad.

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Dora To The Rescue

With all the craziness of this last weekend, I just have to share a little bit of cute with you.

You know that I have a granddaughter that just turned 3. Miss A loves to watch Dora, or DoraBoots as she calls it. She is always telling us the colors in spanish. Well, she is learning more than just the colors.


The other day she dropped something between the couch and end table. She was reaching for it and fell between them where there were some pillows. She got stuck and couldn't get out. All of the sudden, she was yelling for her dad,
"AYUDAME, AYUDAME DADDY"
Ayudame in spanish means Help Me.


And you wondered if watching tv is good for your kids. I'm thinking that if she is asking for help in spanish before english, then she is learning.

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

So I Went To Our Corporate Office

Last week I took a little trip down to our corporate location. It's in a small town called Richfield here in Utah. I love to travel to small towns, but I couldn't live in a small town, where everyone knows your business. No- sir- ree, not for me.
Anysmallville, here are a few things I found while there.
You ever wonder what the Tin Mans "short hairs" look like? Well here they are.
It's really what the scraping from the pipe looks like when you "turn it into a nipple" Just sayin'.
Next we have the newest bakery to open. They are known for their cinnamon rolls. I love this box, how cute is her bootie.
Last, and not least is the most awesome thing. I was taken on a tour of the city, when we came upon my friends house. What do you do with the cat poop fertilizer? Well you fertilize it, duh. That spot is going to be a gorgeous green I tell ya.

ah come on, it's not like none of you have ever seen your pet's poop.
I had a fun time. Even tho, I got in a no bar zone on my phone. And having read one to many murder, who done its, I'm starting to freak out. "there is a semi truck in front of me and in back of me". Whatever should I do, what if they pull the old I'll slow down, you speed up and we will run into her. Yikes, good thing I stopped for donuts for the office down there. If I only eat one per day, These should last a week. That is, if they push me off the road and leave me for dear. Yeah, I need to not read those kinds of books.
Until the next time,

Monday, September 20, 2010

Our Day Of FUN And FIRE

Yesterday, we went on a little visit to Lagoon, a local amusement park in in the state of Utah. We had such a good time. It was in the 90's but there was just enough breeze to keep it cool. After spending 6 hours in the fun and sun, imagine going from this..........


To this....................

When we headed around the mountain into the Salt Lake Valley, we saw smoke coming from the other mountain. At first we couldn't tell where it was. As we got closer and closer to home, we could tell it was around where we live. We got to our street and it was blocked by the police and they weren't letting anyone through. In fact, since about 4:30, there was a mandatory evacuation going on. We headed to our youngest sons house, who lives in the same city, but wasn't being evacuated, yet. The picture above was from their back patio looking at the mountain.

The photo below is the view going towards my house, which is about a block away from where we took this picture. Because we weren't home when they started evacuating, we didn't have anything with us except what we had taken with us to the park. Being diabetic, I started panicking that I needed to get my insulin. Got to the police barricade and told them we needed to go to our house. They told us we had to wait for an escort. Another police officer came, followed behind us to our house, sat in front of the house while I ran in to get my meds, and then followed us back out. I wasn't even able to grab pajama's or stuff for the kids. It was just hurry up and get it. It was probably a good thing the cop was waiting because we might have been tempted to just stay.


The above picture was the view from my sons patio after the sun went down. Yes, this fire was on both sides of that mountain. He was about 5 blocks from where they were evacuating. Needless to say, the kids slept great, but the adults maybe got 2 hours sleep.

The above picture was taken this morning. Sorry it was so fuzzy. You can barely make out a house on the mountain. If you look closely, the fire went right around that house. The firefighters were hosing down that house all night. Plus you can see how sad the blackened mountain looks. And the sad thing is, the leaves were just starting to turn colors and it was looking so very pretty.
The fire was started by Camp Williams, the Utah Army Reserve dudes. They were playing shoot-um-up when they shouldn't have been. It was a red flag day here yesterday with high winds. But hey, they are the government, they can do what they want.
You can read the news story here
and see other pictures. It's so sad. 3 homes were lost. 1650 homes were evacuated. All because they wanted to play army. Thank goodness there were no lives lost.
This was a little to close for comfort for us. We will be smelling the smoke in our house for a few days, but at least we still had a home to go to.
Until Later.