Saturday, July 30, 2011

That Dang Joey

Jenny Matlock

I love Jenny.  She makes me really dig deep.  Usually she gives us 5 or 6 words, and lets our minds go wild.  This week, no such luck.  She gave us a picture.  Well, you thought you could stump me Jenny, but I took you up on the challenge. 

That Dang Joey

“Mom is going to be so mad”, Timmy said to his big brother.  “Aah, come on , she will never figure it out”.  They quietly gathered their supplies in their hands, and headed out the back door, as quiet as their 7 and 5 year old feet could take them.  

They wanted to make that dang Joey eat his words.  They carefully planted the fried egg, cracked shell and spatula on the ground.   They waited, knowing that he would ride by anytime on his bike.  

“Oh Joey”, they called as he came racing by.  “We told you it would work”.

Thursday, July 28, 2011

Yeah, I Said It, Frack You

I don't know why, but I giggle every time I see this picture.  Maybe because she looks exactly like me.  Well, except that I would be in a purple robe.

Once again, a big shout out to Christy and Boobies for the release of my little angers in life.  Let's get started, shall we.

A smiling frack you to Boobies.  What? you exclaim.  Well, because she has such a cool nickname, that's why.  And because it's my blog and I can do whatever I want.  So there.  *stamping foot*

Frack you to people that think because I am not of the same political persuasion as them, that I am therefore lazy, live off others, screw the system, and have no brain.  I work a full time job, could claim some disability, BUT I DON'T, have never screwed the system and I have a pretty smart brain.  Please, don't continue to think that all people not like you are the worst thing since before time began.  

Road construction.  Frack.  I'm so over it.  Used to be you only did it during the good months.  But now you do it year round.  Ok, its good for jobs and the economy, but bad for my road rage.  So I guess I'll add, frack me for my road rage.  

I think I am done.  

Now, just because I can never leave a post with a bad taste in my mouth, I will give a shout out to A Daft Scots Lass and her Friday Shoegasm
A Daft Scots Lass
Hola Dafty.  :)

Here it is.  The shoe that I would wear if I was skinny, had really awesome legs, and wouldn't fall by walking in them shoes.
I mean, really, purple and leopard print.  It's a no brainer.

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Ode To My Ovaries

Disclaimer:  If you are a guy, and don't want to hear about becoming a woman, do not read this post.  If you go on, you have been warned.  dun-dun-dunnnnn

Today Miss Jenny has given us the writing assignment of the very fun and festive letter
Thinking long and hard about this fine letter of the alphabet, I finally came up with my subject.

Ovaries.  Those crappy, stupid, cause you agony, loving organs of a woman's body that remind us how much we enjoy life.

Lets travel back in time.  Keep going.  Almost there.  Ok, picture me in the 5th grade.  I'm that sweet, quiet child sitting there, ALL BY HERSELF, without her mother, in the gym, waiting to see the very scary video on becoming a woman.    Did you notice that I said I was there without my mother?  When I first started blogging, I wrote about some of the "fending for myself", being the 2nd oldest of 9 kids, where you can read a little bit about how it was here.

My ovaries were late bloomers.  Ok, not super late, but I didn't start my first period until well into my 13th year.  I remember that I was so embarrassed to talk to my mom about it, (because we never shared that maturation class together) that I didn't even tell her I had started it.  This is going to sound really super gross, but for many years I would just use toilet paper to soak up all the blood.   Looking back now, it is really upsetting to think that I went through this alone.  I remember one vacation we were traveling from Colorado to Utah to see my grandparents.  Started my period on the trip, and kept praying that we would stop for potty breaks more than normal.   

I honestly can not tell you how I happened upon tampons.  I don't know if it was my older sister, or my friends. I can't even remember if I just bought my own.  I think I've blocked it out of my memory.  

Writing about this is actually bringing up all kinds of emotions right now.  I'm pissed off at my mom, even tho I love her, but by damn, I was her daughter,  I was always lost in the shuffle.  I'm sad that it was a embarrassing thing for my mom to talk to me about.  She got better as the younger girls came along, but I missed out.   It makes me wonder if I was ok with my own daughter.  I know that I went to her class, and took her with me before her class to buy tampons, knowing she would ask questions.  And she did.  I felt a emotion right there and then, that by damn, I was there for her.  She would never have to go through what I did.  Dear Mindi, I never wanted you to feel like you couldn't talk to me about anything.   I hope that you always knew that.

Ok, so back to Ovaries.   Guys don't know what they are missing.  Pain, chocolate cravings, crying uncontrollably, but best of all, creating a life that you feel kicking and moving, and wishing that you could feel that feeling "just one more time".  

Now my ovaries are done working.  Yee-freaking-haw.  I figure if I were in charge of the woman's body, there would be a switch that we could "turn off" when we were done having periods.  Having not to go through, oh 20 more years of them after having your last child.  

Can I get an AMEN

When Automated Phone Systems Go Bad

I can't stand automated phone systems, heretofore to be known as APS.  Honestly, they drive me nuts.  I had the "conversation" from hell last night.  

Dazee:  *fingers dialing customer service number*
APS:  Thank you for calling XYZ company.  
Si usted desea escuchar esta en espanol, pulse numero dos.
(disclaimer, I just went to the english to spanish translator on the internet, don't give me crap if this is wrong)
Dazee:  waiting, waiting.
APS:  Ok, before we get started, tell me the reason you are calling
Dazee:  Customer Service
APS:  I'm sorry, I didn't understand that.
Let's try this again.
You can say, recent history, or press 1
Account balance, or press 2
Add to account, or press 3
Technical support, or press 4
Dazee:  Customer Service please
APS:  I'm sorry, I didn't understand, lets try again,
blah, blah, blah, or blah
APS:  I'm sorry, since you won't answer my question, I'm hanging up.
Dazee:  What the %^&*!!!!!!!
Dazee:  *fingers madly dialing phone number*
Repeat process
APS:  I'm sorry, since you won't answer my question, I'm hanging up.
Dazee:  Well you freaking piece of shit garbage, I'm going to hunt you down and hurt you.
Dazee:  *Dialing for the 3rd time, ready for a fight*
APS:  blah, blah, blah
Dazee:  *pushing number 3*  (just because, don't judge)
APS:  Ok, so you want to know who shot the sheriff, press 1 for yes and 2 for no.
Dazee:  *presses 2*
Going through the process yet again.
APS:  I'm sorry, since I couldn't help you, I will forward you to a real, live, breathing body, and if you are lucky it will be a voice you can understand.
Dazee:  About freaking time, you rat.
APS:  This call may be monitored for security or training purposes.
Dazee:  Good, cuz I'm super pissed and I'm going to hurt someone.
Real Live Person:  Blah, blah, blah.  
Dazee:  I can't get this to do that
RLP:  Let's do this and this.  Is that working?
Dazee:  Yes, thank you.  Can I make a complaint while I'm on the phone:
RLP:  Of course.
Dazee:  Your automated phone system is a piece of shit garbage and wouldn't let me tell it, Customer Service, Real Person, Give me a real freaking person now (yes, I said that once, but not the nice "freaking" word)
And then, APS told me that since I WOULDN'T ANSWER HER QUESTION, SHE WAS HANGING UP.  Twice!!!!!
RLP:  We just barely changed to a new automated phone system this week.  (just my luck)  I've been getting complaints all week about this problem.  We are trying to get technical support to take care of it as fast as possible.  
Dazee:  Well, that's good, because I was about to cause major mayhem.

Really, if you have to have those aggravating piece of crap phones systems, have a freaking option that says,

Going to my happy place

Tuesday, July 26, 2011



Well, hidee-ho neighbor.  Tuesday is once again upon us.  Yippity-Skippity.  That means you get to hear me rant write my Dear Letters, be they good or bad.  Let us begin.

Dear Lady Adjusting Your Breasts In The Grocery Store Parking Lot
FYI, parking areas where men and children are, is not the place to be adjusting the boobage so that the headlights are pointed in the same direction.  Please refrain from doing so.  Also, if your friend is with you, please don't allow her hands to help you adjust.  In other words, get at room.  Thanks

Dear Businesses Whose Invoices Are The Exact Size As Your Envelopes
Please get either smaller invoices, or bigger envelopes.  When opening them with my handy dandy battery operated letter opener, it slices your invoice in half.  Tsk, tsk.  Not a good thing.  If there happens to be a check in there, way not a good thing.  It won't cost you that much more.  Honestly, do the letter openers of the world a break.  We don't like to have to repair YOUR stupidity with our tape.

Dear Speedster Woman In The Dodge Caravan On The Free-In-Way
I'm sorry that your vehicle just isn't as good looking as mine.  I'm sorry that I was ONLY going 5 over the speed limit during semi-rush-hour traffic.  I'm sorry you were trying to get away from my good looking driving machine. But really, you were not doing anyone on the road a service by being a stupid idiot driver.  Weaving in and out of traffic to get around ME, because I was in the fast lane, going as fast as everyone else in the fast lane.  And just because you are driving a minivan doesn't mean the cops will not pull you over because they feel sorry for you.  They will pull you over if you are SPEEDING AND WEAVING.  Get it?  Got it?  Good!!!

Dear Chocolate Mint Bettercreme Cake Slice
I HEART YOU.  No really, I do.  I love your chocolately cake, your mint bettercreme frosting, and the Andes Mint stuck in the top.  I dream of you often.  I have tried to stay away from you, but my dear, it is just unbearable.  I await your next arrival in my grocery cart.

That is it for this week.  You better watch out tho, YOU could become my next Dear letter.  bwaa-haa-haa

Sunday, July 24, 2011

Better Late Than Never


Happy Sunday.  Last night, our neighbors behind us, decided it was a great time to shoot off fireworks.  Why are there fireworks this time of year?   Because, I'm in Utah and today is the 24th of July, the big celebration of our state and its church.  And also, we will get extra nights of fine fireworks because they will not celebrate anything today, but tomorrow.  Which is ok by me, because I get a fake day off of work, and wouldn't you know, the government employees and banks don't.  Now that a change I can agree with.  :)

Here are the questions that were brought to us by Mamarazzi and Queso on Wednesday.  My mantra, better late than never.  Or save it for a day that I need some mojo.   Onward. 

{1} What would you do with an extra $1000 a month?
I think maybe I would pay off some debt with half of it, and then once a month, have a day that I would do something with my kids, their spouses, and my grandkids.  It would take 10 months to go through them, but I think taking 500 and doing something with each one of them would be a blast.

{2} What category of blogger do you think you best fall under?
hmmm.  I think, the "saying it like I feel it type of blogger".  Do they have a name for that?

{3} What is your go to solution when you are having a bad hair day?
Since my hair is short, I just go with the flow.  I also bought some of that spray dry hair shampoo the last time I got my hair done, and if Mr. Dazee out of the blue, on a saturday, cuz I'm lazy and don't shower that day, (I put deo on, don't fret), I can just spray that on, and brush it out and it's as good as new.

{4} If you were a Crayon, what color would you be?
Need you even ask.  Some kind of purple color.  In fact, I would be some kind of purple that they haven't named yet, and it would become world known and popular. :)

{5} They say love is in the little things. What is a little thing someone does to show you love?
This is going to sound weird, but I love it when Mr. Dazee, while walking by me, will take his hand and just slide it down my back.  I think one of the most important things in life is touch.     

Have you ever noticed that I can't just say yes, no, maybe so on these question things.   I must have a broken on/off switch somewhere.  Oh well.

Saturday, July 23, 2011

The Bus

Jenny Matlock

Well, Jenny thinks we needed a little bit more skill at writing with fewer words.  At least she let us use a picture.  But she supplied the picture because she's mean cool like that.

This week we have a whole 15 words to write with, not including the 6 in the prompt.  The prompt will be in blue.


Before I die I want to drive the karma bus and witness the “comes around” created by those who “went around”

Nuff said

Friday, July 22, 2011

You Have Got To Be Fracken Kidding Me

Friday, aaahhh, sweet, sweet lover of mine.  Are you ready for my rants, hosted by Christy and Boobies?  I am.  

Frack you
and NFL 
Golly gee.  I feel so bad that you guys all make millions of dollars, but are locked out of your job.  NOT.  Whatever are you going to do?  I don't feel sorry that you aren't making any money.  You make enough in just one game that I could live off for a long time.  Buck it up, buttercups. You poor babies.  waaaa-waaaaa  

Frack you to the person that made a reservation at the restaurant where we were having a little family aunt and cousins get together.
Yeah, you crazy lady.  (ok, not this lady, but that was kind of the look on the real lady's face).  Word to the wise.  DO NOT MAKE THE RESERVATION IN YOUR MARRIED LAST NAME.  Don't jump down our throats when we say, gosh, we tried ever FAMILY last name we could think of.  Her response, WELL, I MADE THE RESERVATION.  No shit sherlock.  Do I know your married name?  NO.  Don't have a total freakout.  Even tho NOW I will remember your last name.  Why, because whenever I talk to my sister, I'm going to say, Do you have a reservation under the name of (insert name here) :)

Frack you Borden Dairy Products.  
Yes, I've tried your coffee creamer.  Yes, I really enjoy the taste of it.  Or shall I say, the "not taste of oil" of it.  But when you get an email from me asking if there will be new flavors or a larger size soon, DO NOT SEND ME A CANNED RESPONSE.  

Their reply
Thank you for taking the time to contact us regarding our la Crème  Real Dairy creamers. 

Unfortunately, it is up to the stores to carry our products and flavors.  Our distribution model does not give us access at the store level to suggest product placement.  Since this is a relatively new product, there are no current plans for additional flavors; however, I am more than happy to pass your suggestions along to our research and development teams for future consideration.

Again, we appreciate you contacting us.  We hope you continue to enjoy our fine la Crème products.

Yeah, I would love to ENJOY your fine la Creme products.  I would enjoy them more if they came in a Coconut Cream or Carmel Vanilla flavor.  And have you ever tried to email a manager of say, Walmart.  I tried that once about seeing if they could possibly bring in another flavor of a cappuccino.  You know what she wanted?  The freaking bar code number of the item.  What The?  I DON'T HAVE THE FREAKING BAR CODE NUMBER OF IT.  I gave you the exact name, brand, flavor, birth weight, blood type, and stool sample of the item.  But no, "I need the bar code number".  

So my dear Borden Dairy Products, GOOD FRACKEN LUCK EVER getting PRODUCT PLACEMENT of your coffee creamer.  


Wednesday, July 20, 2011

right NEIGHBORLY of you, or NOT

Time for our weekly report to Miss Jenny.    Today's required essay is brought to you by.....
The Letter

Mr. Dazee and I have lived in quite a few places since we've been married.  The first 10 years we rented apartments, moved onto duplexes, and then rented houses.  Finally we were able to buy our first home.  Through those many residences, we had some fine, outstanding NEIGHBORS.  You know, the kind that are "out standing" in their yard.  :)

I don't know if we were just the lucky ones, but we also had some dooseys.  My essay today is on some of the "lesser" neighbors.

NOCTURNAL George:  We lived on the second floor of an apartment building when we were first married.  We had a person that lived above us, whom we lovingly named George.   He was the type of neighbor that just loved to put things in his garbage disposal, oh, about midnight.  One time, his disposal made a god awful sound, and we awoke to water, leaking into our apartment from above.   According to the fix-it dudes, he was putting his orange peels down the disposal.  Now remember kids, this was 32 years ago.  Disposals weren't as good as they are now.    

NOCTURNAL George the 2nd:   How we lucked out with 2 of these dudes is beyond me.   This was in a 4-plex and we were on the bottom.  (cheaper rent, give us young un's a break).   Georgy had a fetish for vacuuming his floor at 2 to 3 in the morning.  mmmwaaarrrr-mmmwwaaaarrr.  (that would be the sound of the vacuum going over the heat vents)   If I had been back then, the way I am now, he would have had me standing outside his door, ready to punch him in the nose.  We had a 6 month old baby, by damn.  

NYMPHO NELLY:  This was a duplex we lived in.  Shared bedroom walls.  Nuff said.

NAUGHTY Drug Dealers:  Another duplex.  At least this time there were no shared bedroom walls.  These were the guys that had "customers" showing up to our side of the duplex, at all hours of the night.  And "customers" could have been anyone from someone needing to buy, or their prostitute friends.  Oh yeah, that was a good night when the ladies showed up on our side.  Oh, and they loved to pee off their balcony.  Good times.

NAPOLEON JohnnyD:   Oh, sweet, lovable, JohnnyD.   Mr., I don't care how long you have lived here.  I'm moving in with all my construction vehicles with me.  I will park them wherever I want to.  Its wintertime.  Too bad, I'm parking these bad boys on the street.  I don't care if it's against the law.  I am the law.  The snowplow can just go around me.   

NIPPING Neighbors:  These were the neighbors that lived a few houses down and sometimes you would take your life into your hands if you happened to be walking by, on their side of the street, at the wrong time.  To say that they yelled loudly at one another, is putting it mildly.  Sometimes you would see him running out of the house.  I think she had the upper hand in the relationship.

NOSEY Tiny Tim:  This was the neighborhood rat.  He would shoot batteries at our satellite dish.  He had a tree house.  He was, oh, about 16.  If we were outside, he would sneak into his clubhouse and spy on us.  He was always being a jerk.  I'm pretty sure he's living in the big house now.  

NOBLE Highness:  This neighbor was the kind that was your friend, even tho you didn't belong to his religion, UNTIL, he became high in his church.  Then he didn't like you much.  Didn't want to be seen with the peasants.  Too bad, his loss.

NO-Count NOSEDRIP:   Yes, we refer to this neighbor as Nosedrip.  He was the kind that wanted to live in a nice neighborhood, but didn't want to conform to the CC&R's.  We were supposed to have our landscaping in, very fast.  I can't remember how long, but it seems like 3 months.  Nosedrip, decided he was above it all and was there 6 years before we moved and still hadn't put his in.  Call me old-fashioned, but if you have small kids, which he had a definite litter of them, wouldn't you put at least grass in so they could play outside.  Just wondering.

This is only a smathering of some of our neighbors.  We have had some awesome neighbors too.  

Until next week.  

Class dismissed.

Jenny Matlock

Tuesday, July 19, 2011



Welcome back to another edition of Dazee's Dear Letters.  Where I write a letter to those that either need to be yelled at, or those that deserve an atta-boy.

Dear Self Scanners At My Local Smiths Food Store (Kroger)
(yes, I know this is the picture from the ones at Home Depot, shut up)
I am a woman of the 00's.  (that's the 2000's for you that don't know my lingo).  I'm all about using the scanner if it is going to save me time.   But could you please have your little computer lady speed it up.  By the time she tells me to put in my "alternate ID number" I have already done so and made sure it took it.  This is not my first time at the rodeo, dear scanner.  I know the rules.  If you are buying produce, PUT THE CODE IN FIRST, then put the item on the weigher thingy.  Don't be 3 steps behind me.  I also saw the , skip bagging little touch thing so I pushed that so I could throw gently put the watermelon in the basket.  Don't be getting all huffy and telling me that the Cashier has been notified.  I'm lightyears ahead of you.

Also, don't get your panties in a wad when Mr. Dazee puts his keys down on the area where you bag your groceries.  "Remove item that you did not scan from the bagging area".  Really, Sherlock.  It's his keys.  He was trying to get out his debit card.  But ok, they are now off.  

One last thing.  I was already scanning the card, putting in my pin, telling it I wanted cash back, before you "realized" that we were done and were trying to tell us what to do next.  
In other words, poop or get off the pot.  I'm not waiting around for your slow butt.

Dear Miss A.
Thank you so much for the conversation we had on Saturday.  When we were playing "I Spy".  Mr. C said, I spy something brown, and bapa said, Miss A's hair.   You were right there to point out that your "underneath hair" was brown.  When bapa asked, what color is your on top hair, your told us it was
Yes, dear Miss A, it is going banilla in the sunlight. 

Monday, July 18, 2011

So How's Your Summer, Or Winter (Sorry Gillian) Going?

I've been kind of busy the last 5 days.  Nothing earth shattering.  Just some non-normal stuff.  Being that I am the ever camera at my beck and call girl, I got some cool things to show you.  Ok, they are cool to me. 

First up
How cool is this.  We called in a Chinese take out order and this is how it was written up.  Can you read it?
It is from David's Kitchen here in Salt Lake.  
The first item on the ticket is the best freaking pot stickers ever!!!! 
The next item is Mongolian beef
The last item is house lo mein.  
It was a party in the mouth I tell ya. 

It was the bosses birthday last week.  Being that we employees are so cool, we decorated up his office.
His door
We filled it with balloons and put post it notes on the back wall
His present.  Oh yeah, we had the baker add a tramp stamp with his name on it.  Cuz we're cool like that.

 In the boys will be boys department
Male employee 1 wanting to take a bite out of crime
Male employee 2 doing something he must be used to
It was a fun day.  His wife came in and promptly told him, that might be the only piece of ... you get today.  :)  (TMI, I know, but hell, you should work there)

It's Parade of Homes time once again.  I have to say, the coolest house was actually built in the part of the valley that I live.  Just a hop, skip and a jump away. 
 It was built after the likeness of the house in in the movie UP.

I forced asked Mr. Dazee kindly if we could do a drive by so I could snap some photos.   He complained all the way  answered nicely that he would love to.  
There were tons of people there doing the same thing. 
I really wanted to go inside, but they are keeping it closed till the Parade of Homes starts, and then it will cost money to see it.  Dang.

And now I must be off.  Another fun filled week of work is calling my name.

Saturday, July 16, 2011

The Butterfly

Jenny Matlock

Jenny is on a full blown tangent today.    Today she has "allowed" us 25 whole words plus the 5 word prompt.  I think she needs to maybe have a nice strawberry daiquiri and relax.    As always, the prompt will be in blue.

The Butterfly

Liza watched the cocoon open up, as the beautiful butterfly emerged towards freedom.  

I’m not getting any younger, she wept, hoping to seek freedom from her abuse today as well.

Thanks Jenny.  You always push to make us better.  

Friday, July 15, 2011

Dear McDonald's..........

Whew, this week is coming to a close.  It's Friday.  My weekend starts at 3:00 PM today.  I'm very excited about that.  As you can tell from my beautiful picture.  Don't you think I rock the purple hair?  

Today, as I'm joining in the fun with Christy and Boobies, I want you to be aware that the photo's I'm about to show you might make you want to wash your eyes out.  You have been warned.

My first frack you goes to all you blogs that I follow that decide you just must post the food that you are preparing.  I mean, I'm very grateful that you post the recipe and all.  But come on.  Have you not been told of my extreme need of taste a vision.  While going through my reader last night, I was assaulted by post, after post, after post, of some of the best looking food.  You are not my friends right now.  I will give you all a chance to come to my place and make me what you are showing.  Yeah, cuz I'm kind like that.

What the frack is up with this guy?   
Dude, the shuttle astronauts called and said you are blinding them in space. 
 Men, if you have that much body hair, please, for the love of people everywhere, keep your shirts on.  I bet that lady walking next to him is totally doing the look of horror out of the side of her eyes.  Furthermore, WTH are those on your feet?

You may go wash out your eyes.  I'll wait...........................
Dear McDonald's.  You have a fracking case of false advertisement going on.  
I spotted a bunch of these billboards around town yesterday.  Yes, I can drive, see them, and snap a photo, all at the same time.  I'm a multitasker.  
Craving has no curfew?
I beg to differ with you.  I crave an egg mcmuffin, oh, about going home from work time, which is 4:00 PM.  Can I stop and get one?   N to the NO.....squared.   You only serve them during breakfast hours.  Can I get fries during your precious morning hours with my egg mcmuffin?  Nope.  That has to wait till you start making your rest of the day items.   Totally false advertising.  CRAVINGS DO HAVE A CURFEW at your local McDonald's.  
Should have thought that one through a little bit better marketing department.  
(ps:  I can be bought, free food for life and booking myself on Ellen will be avoided)

Now, Friday just wouldn't be complete without playing along with A Daft Scots Lass Friday Shoegasm
A Daft Scots Lass
Before I show you the shoes that I have found this week, remember.
DAZEE DOES NOT DO HEELS.  Dazee would look like a beached whale on heels.  Not to mention, Dazee would fall on her ass in heels.   Yeah, I totally just talked in the 3rd person, sue me.

I saved these for last because, honestly, if I did do heels, I would do these.  
I mean, come on, you want a pair, don't you?

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Eek, It's A Mouse

Today's homework assignment by Miss Jenny is brought to you by the letter

Whatever could I come up with that is not your normal M subject?  First I thought maybe MUNCHIES.   Naw.  Then I thought McDONALDS, but I'm saving that for tomorrow.   How about MAILMAN, MUSIC, MOM, MONSTERS OR MAYHEM?  Nope.  I have decided on something that is very close to my heart, and not in a a good way.

according to

A Morbid Fear Of Mice

Well, I'll be damned, that would be me.

I am terrified of mice.  Like scream, run in place, heart palpitations, and truck driver swearing.  Mr. Dazee is always trying to tell me that I am a big monster to those wee little mice.  Yeah right.  This is how it looks when I see a mouse.
Do you see that?  That mouse is a monster.  I can hardly stand even looking at the picture.  My stomach just did the ole "roll like I'm on a roller coaster" feeling.

Where does this stem from?   I know that it comes from my childhood.  One day my mom sent me down to the basement, that wasn't finished, where our "pantry" was, to get a can of something.  I stepped onto a flattened cardboard box, and a mouse ran out from under it.  Scared the crap out of me.  I wouldn't go back down into the basement after that.

I posted about a horrible mouse adventure when I first started blogging a year ago.   Check it out, or not.....

I want you to know, that I've tried being a big girl.  This past winter, when the mice were abundant again at work, I was on the phone with Adam in our corporate location, when out of the corner of my eye, I spotted a mouse.  (darn that good peripheral vision).  As I'm screaming into his ear, "THERE'S A MOUSE IN MY OFFICE", he is laughing his butt off, and I've practically jumped up onto my desk.  I was hyperventilating.  I started crying.  Then the rat named Adam, sent me a video of a ton of mice running around.  Yeah, Adam, I'll get you back one of these days for that.  But I digress.  I finally stood up, walked around my desk, was heading out my door, when that damn mouse ran right in front of me and out the door.  As I ran in place screaming, FINALLY, the boys came running to the rescue.

Do you know how hard it was for me to even go back into my office?  I actually left early that day.  I got so sick to my stomach.  Didn't want to go into the office the next day.

Dr. Phil would tell me I need to confront my phobia.  Guess what Dr. Phil?  There's no way in hell I'm going to be stranded in a room full of mice to "OVERCOME" the fear.  Did you not see the Criminal Minds episode that the bad dude was supposedly "helping" people overcome their phobias, by doing just that, and killing them by way of that phobia.  Yeah, thanks but no thanks.  (even tho, I know that my boyfriend Shemar would come through and save me).

There you have it.  I now have to go wash my eyes out to get the picture of me and the mouse out of my head.

And why can't I get this freaky song out of my head?

Jenny Matlock

Ok, So She's A Little Upset

Once upon a time there was a man.  He for some reason pissed off his wife.  

And you thought you were having a bad day.

Monday, July 11, 2011

So Ok, I'm A Big Goonball

Saturday, Mr. Dazee and I made a little trip down to Linden, Utah.  Now, I know you are thinking to yourself, why on earth would you go there.    Mr. Dazee has been looking at playground bark for a play area we are doing in our backyard.  (we don't spoil our grandkids, stop it).  

Last year when I started blogging, I would take note of what blogs people were talking about.  One of them was Because Nice Matters.    I went over and checked her out, and fell in love with her blog immediately.  She was so sweet and lovable, I just had to follow along.

One day, Noelle mentioned that her little sister was starting a blog.   Would we please go over and check her out.  (That's how nice Noelle is, I would have been all up in your face, telling you to get your butts over there right now).  Off I went, like a good girl, and a friendship was born between me and Baby Sister at La Esquina de la Estrellita.  Now, because I'm not the brightest bulb in the lamp, I couldn't tell you what her blog name means in English, but me and baby sister have become good friends, even tho she is young enough to be my daughter.

Getting back to me being a goonball.  I emailed Noelle because their family owns a nursery.  They are only about 25 miles away from where I live, so we were off to look at their playground bark.  

My heart was all a-twitter.  I was FINALLY going to meet some of my blogging friends.  The whole way there, I was sooooo nervous.  What if they think I'm fat and ugly?  What if they think I'm way too weird for them?  What would I say?  I was torturing myself.  

We get to Linden Nursery .  Mr. Dazee goes off in search of the bark.  I went in search of Baby Sister.  I go to the front desk, and ask if Baby Sister is there.  Ok, I asked for her real name, but I almost asked for her blog name. :)  They tracked her down and said she would be up to the store in a minute.   This is the point where I began to fidget, and pace and wait....and wait....and finally, I hear the side door open, I look down the hall and there they were..........
Baby Sister is on the left, Noelle, who is 2 weeks from having little Emily, is on the right.  Honestly, she doesn't even look like she is due for another couple of months. 

Ok, here is the goonball part.  I hope you are sitting down.  Envision if you will, Dazee, in all her glory, running slowly, arms outstretched, giggling, tears coming to her eyes, as she runs closer to these 2 girls, and embraces them in the biggest group hug ever.  I couldn't even speak.  I got too emotional.  Honestly, what in the hell was up with that.  They were speechless.  (I probably scared them to death)  I got to meet Mama Smurf, and another one of their sisters (who informed me she doesn't blog, I'll forgive her, she doesn't know what she is missing).    I didn't want to leave.  I wanted to just stay, and talk, and I kept hugging them, and I'm just a goonball.  What can I say.

Now, because I really need to prove that I actually met them, Mr. Dazee took a photo of all three of us.  
I'm the one in the middle (hahaha, like you didn't know)  Don't I look like a goonball.  All twitterpated  being in their presence.    

A word to the wise.
There are more of you I want to meet.  I won't be able to contain my excitement.   If we meet in an airport, be prepared to be embarrassed when I do my run with outstretched arms.  

I will meet more of you.  It's a promise.  

One last thing.
This is Miss L
Today is her 9th birthday
Happy Birthday my beautiful girl!!!!!