Fracks Awards and Shoes

The first half of the year is over.  Can you believe how fast it went.  Ok, maybe not for some of you, but for me, yeah.  way fast.

Christy and Boobies, partners in crime meme's, give me, and you, the opportunity to give your loving finger awards, every Friday,  to those that deserve them.  Thanks girls.

A big ole frack award goes to the guys I work with that continue to drop peanuts on the floor and walk off.  All the while, an invasion occurs.  The royal army of ants attack.  I understand, we all drop stuff.  But when you see a big pile of moving blackness, please don't just point it out and walk on by.  I know, it's soooo scary to grab a paper towel and grab the pile.  Sissys.

The only other frack award I have this week is for those who use the old "I'll compromise if you compromise" statement.  Yeah, what did you compromise dude?  That you wouldn't leave her because you were bugged by a teeny, tiny, toe tattoo, if she had it lasered off.  Wow, I guess I would be in a heap of trouble if you were my husband.  

Onward and Upward, A Daft Scots Lass hosts the lovely shoegasm segment of our Friday fun.  Thanks Dafty.

Last weekend, Mr. Dazee and I went to Kohl's, to see a man about, oh wait, no we didn't, we went to see if we could find a pair of crocs from Mr C.  Do you know that size 13 boys crocs are on the protected from the public list.  Yeah, we can find any other boys size EVERYWHERE, but that extinct size 13.  Rant over.  Maybe it should get a frack award.  Yeah, frack you size 13 boys crocs. :)

Anycroclater, I came upon some shoes that were so awesome, that I pulled out my camera that inspired the "Don't Leave Home Without It" commerical, (I did, really) (ok, maybe not). 

 I digress, here is what I found

Rawrrrrr.  Purrfect for a night out on the town.

Ohhh, sparkley, like champagne, or princesses, or unicorns........... 

Mr. Dazee kindly informed me that he is never going to the shoe department with me again.  Silly boy.

Kaleidoscope Of Life

This weeks Alphabe-Thursday is brought to us by the letter

I honestly don't know how Jenny does it.  Gives us all this school work and still has time to check our homework.  Jenny, I salute you.  SAL-LUTE.

Remember when you were young, and you would get the awesome kaleidoscope.  You would frantically turn it wondering what the next vision was going to be. 

How often have we picked up the kaleidoscope of our lives?  Lets take a look now.

We enter this world kicking and screaming.  One minute we are being serenaded by the beating heart of our mother.  The next, bright lights and confusion.  No wonder we are screaming.

As we get older, we start playing kids games.  Kick the can, King of the hill, red light/green light, red rover and many more.  

We turn it again, and see ourselves flying kites.  How high can we get it?

Then we look and we are getting the keys to our parents car.  First time around the block without them being there with you.  

Oh look, its our first kiss.  How well do you remember yours?

School days.  Where we fill our brains with knowledge.  Some of it useless, but most of it there to draw on when we need it.

With all we are looking at in our life, we are gathering many keepsakes.  Some are memories, others are actual items.  But all are things our lives are made of.

Some things in my kaleidoscope I would rather forget about.  Others, I really wish I had a better memory of.    All in all, I think my life has turned out pretty good.

Just Because

Dear......6.28.11

Another weekend gone, another day of Dear Letters.   For those of you that have never read my Dear Letters, they are my weekly affirmations of people that need to get a letter from me.  They can be good or bad.  One never knows.  
Let's begin.
Dear Furniture StoresHas there ever been a weekend that you haven't been having "A Mega Blowout" Sale, "Holiday" Sale, "Going Out of Business" Sale (every weekend for the last year), etc, etc, etc Sale?  My mind is boggled by all these sales.  Why don't you do us all a favor and mark the items for the sale price right from the start?  
and while we are at it,
Dear Car Dealership CommercialsYour commercials are beyond aggravating.  The LOUD dude screaming  the deals, as fast as he can go, is driving me to drink.  hahaha, get it, driving me.  Moving on.
Dear Cleaning Lady At WorkThere are two types of pens on my desk

I appreciate you cleaning my desk.  But please in the future, do not cause me a heart attack by moving my insulin.  It has its place.  Yes, I'm old, and sometimes get excited to eat my lunch before shooting up. But when you do something like this,

And I don't think to look in there, I have a little panic, oh my gosh, where is my pen, attack.  Yeah, so maybe I should have looked there sooner, but I didn't.  My pancreas forever thanks you.

Dear Dude On Freeway And Road Engineers Of Cloverleaf On and Off Ramps

Road Engineers:  What the hell were you thinking.  Geez

Dude:  I understand it is a cloverleaf, and you are a scary looking, maybe not the brightest driver on the road kind of guy.   But there is a thing called MERGING.  If you see me getting on the freeway, and trying to build up speed, and you are already going the speed limit, DO NOT FREAKING SLOW DOWN NEXT TO ME, AND THEN GIVE ME THE LOOK OF DEATH AS TO WHY YOU CAN'T MOVE OVER.  

Breathing

Honestly, I sped up, you sped up, I slow down, you slow down.  I'm sorry you missed your turn off.  I'm sorry you had to go to the next off ramp, which happened to be the same one I was going to.  Yes, ole crazy one, I locked my doors while we sat at the red light side by side, while you stared your ugliness at me.  Sorry, but in my book, SNOOZE YOU LOSE BUDDY.  

Dear Bird

Seriously, did you have a bad case of diarrhea or what?  I don't think I've ever seen anything like this from a bird on my car window before

Excuse me while I throw up a little in my mouth.

That's it for this week.  Join me again next week.  I might even have some nice letters.  :)

Scavenger Hunt Sunday - 6.26.11

I know, you are as surprised as me.  Once again with the sweet promptings of Christy at My Mad Mind, I put on my big girl panties and became the little engine that could.  
"I can take photos', I can take photos"
I fell under the "I"m not good enough" spell and stopped trying.  But this week Ashley at Ramblings and Photos, gave us prompts of things that I thought I could undertake.  
Welcome to my gallery
WINDOWS/DOORS

This is the doorway into my home.  It was the very first thing that I fell in love with when were looking for a house to buy.  

EYELASHES 

My daughter-in-law has eyelashes that I wish I had.  

PAINT 

I know this isn't the traditional "paint" photo.  Mr. Dazee painted the walls on the top level of our home during the winter since he couldn't do his landscaping.   Miss A, 3 year old granddaughter, decided to help bapa one day with the taping.  I think she did a fabulous job.

LEAF VEINS 

From the plant in my office.

FACELESS PORTRAIT 

I love this photo.  It is Miss A on the left, and Miss O on the right.  They are the best of friends.  We were at the local amusement park when I snapped this photo.  

Innocence

Jenny, our mistress of all things mind-boggling, gave us a two word prompt, and because she is on the warpath this week, only 60 words plus the prompt to work with.  Thank you Jenny, from the bottom of my heart, or is it, just from my bottom. :)  As always, the prompt is in blue.
DEAR JOHN

“Dear John“, she wrote, with shaking hands.  “After all these years of keeping silent, I have decided that in order for me to heal, I must tell you how I feel.”

She stopped to reflect for a moment.   How to put it into words?

“As a young child, you took a part of my innocence away”

“I can finally forgive you”

All Kinds Of Fellow Employees

Not only is it Friday, but I'm not at work today.  Let the good times roll!  Today we are going to hook up with Christy and Boobies, once again with those dumbasses  that deserve the fickle finger of fate award.  

First up

To the fracken male coworker that has the worst back pain ever one day, and the next day no pain what-so-ever. I've had back pain.  I've had back surgery.  I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that if you are so much pain that you whine and wobble one day, you are not going to be miraculously better the next day.   I don't believe you.   No, you can't make me.  Take your waa-baby back, back to your office and stay there.  

Next

To Mister I know everything, about everybody, in every sport co-worker dude.  Frack, you are driving me nuts.  You analyze everything.  No this player will be bad for the team.  No this player will never make it in the NBA.  No this player should go to XYZ team.  And his stats are this, that and the other.  One more thing.  Your talking sports radio droning on all fracken day long, is pushing me over the ledge.  Heaven help me.

And now on to our shoes of the week.  Hosted by the ever lovely woman from South Africa, the one, the only, Daft Scots Lass.......(and the crowd goes wild)

This week, we will have the pleasure of seeing some shoes that you can get at your local Kohls.  Unless, they are sold out....
They will be modeled by the ever lovely Miss Machaelle, my friend and fellow mischief maker.  (and co-worker, but at a different branch)  About a month ago she came up to spend the weekend with me.  We did some shopping because, well, women do that kind of stuff.  She was a very good sport and tried on some heels for me.   You know me and my not very graceful foray into wearing heels.  Machaelle, well, she was involved in a horrific car accident, not caused by herself.  Her poor right ankle has all sorts of pins and stuff in it.  But she loves the high heeled shoes.  
First up, the sparkly silver shoes.  So, shall we say, Wizard Of Oz, but not red.  These were my least favorite shoes.  But she was rocking them.

My 2nd place shoes were these cute zebra print and red peek-a-boo shoes.  So, so cute.  I can see a good many of you rushing right out and buying these.   Little red or black dress not included.

My favorite pair of the day are the flip flops.  I kid, I kid.  Sorry about them being in the shot.  I love this pair of red, open toe, I could so be a street walker,  where's my slinky little form fitting dress, shoes.  And might I say, she looked mighty hot in them.

Thanks to our fine model and good sport Machaelle for making this possible.  

And, before I leave you

A word to the wise

Keep your arms and legs inside, and have a good time.

Just Breathe

Are you ready for our weekly alphabet lesson?  Today our subject is brought you you by the letter

Dear Miss Jenny.  J  is a hard letter to come up with a decent subject that is worthy of turning in my assignment.  

I could have written about, Jolly ranchers, Jump ropes, or Jacks.  All things from my youth.  
I know that this song is called BREATHE, but the biggest message I get from it isJUST BREATHE.  I included the Grey's Anatomy version, well, because McDreamy is just that. oK, just breathe.  It's ok.  Deep breaths.  Phew.  
sidebar:  About 4 years ago, McDreamy was on the cover of People magazine.  We buy it for the puzzle.  (Yeah, we do, Mr. Dazee does them to keep his brain active)  Alright, I buy it because I just have to read the latest gossip.  AnyMcDreamylater, my oldest granddaughter, who was about 4 at the time, looked at the cover of the magazine, pointed at it and said, "That's Bapa".  Oh yeah, a wee bit jealous aren't you that Mr. Dazee is a Mr. DazeeMcDreamy.
But I digress.
I don't know about you, but many times throughout the day I say to myself,JUST BREATHE
A co-worker pisses me off, JUST BREATHEOne of my children or grandchildren get hurt, JUST BREATHEThat car almost ran into me, JUST BREATHE.
Sometimes life gets to be too fast and furious.  Miss L, my oldest granddaughter, was lucky enough to have had a parent volunteer, teach her class how to meditate.  Her mom will find her sometimes in her bedroom sitting on her bed, doing just that.  How awesome that at the age of 8, she is learning that technique that will someday be a very valuable thing.  
If you are having one of those dayssit back, relax, and JUST BREATHE

I Confess

You know, when you see something on other peoples blogs, and then you want to do it but for the life of you you can't find ONE blog that has it on, but you know you need to give the credit to someone, and by damn you just read them yesterday and your brain is failing you.  Yeah, that's how I feel right now.

Ok, freak I found one.  And it's on one of my favorite blogs.  It's Just Me, Drazil & Sheniqua.  Never give up looking, that's my mantra.

Not to mention I have a cute little "I Confess" picture that Blogger IS NOT letting me load right now.  Breathing, Breathing.

(update:  it finally let me upload it, thanks blogger)

Here goes:

I Confess that I'm totally in love with the new Strawberry/Colada Frutista Freeze from Taco Bell.  

I Confess that I giggle/snorted this morning at Walmart when a dude in his pickup truck totally smacked into the 3 foot barrier in his parking spot thinking he could just pull forward instead of backing out.  

I Confess that I really don't understand some people's status's on Facebook.  If you can't say what you really mean to say, don't say anything at all.   If you put metaphors or song titles, add an additional comment saying what is really going on in that head of yours, for us normal people out there.  

I Confess that I will take a lot of crap from people, but if they go that one step too far, it will take them a long time to win back my friendship.  (if ever)

I Confess that I didn't go to my family reunion because there was one person that wasn't going to be there and then decided to go.  And if you don't understand why, read the above confession.  In my defense, it was better for me not to go so everyone else could have a good time, instead of fists being thrown.  (yeah, mine, I know, it's hard to believe but don't mess with this mama bear)

I Confess that this is kind of liberating.  You should try it.

Dear......6.21.11

Wow, today is the first day of summer.  Where did spring go?  Oh wait, we didn't have spring here in my fair State.  I guess that is why it feels so wrong.
Anynospringlater, it is once again time for you to have to suffer through my Dear Letters.  The weekly roundup of those things that I just need to talk about get off my chest.  
Let us begin.
Dear Heater,

I know that today is the first day of summer.  At least that is what the calendar is telling me.  I am so sorry that you had to be called back into active duty on Sunday night.  You see, mother nature is fighting with us mere humans.  I know you had plans to just sit back and relax for at least 3 or 4 months.  Please know that as soon as M.N. gets her crap together, you will have the vacation you well deserve.

Dear Air Conditioning,

Really, it's not our fault.  You're on, you're off.  You were working so hard to please us on Saturday, then, bam, M.N. had a meltdown.  Poor Mr. Heater was called into active duty as it dipped into cold weather, with yes, say it with me, SNOW IN THE MOUNTAINS.  Uh huh.  You have been on vacation way too long.  You need to get all your air conditioning friends together and picket M.N.  I'm behind you 100%.

Dear Sara Lee,

W.T.H?  Ever since I was a kid I thought your slogan was "Nobody Does It Like Sara Lee".  But no.  After getting behind one of your trucks the other day on my way to work, this is what I saw.

Are you kidding me?  Has this been the slogan all along?  Maybe you should look into some enunciation lessons.  Maybe I don't like Sara Lee.  Did you ever think of that?  No, you didn't.  You just assumed that nobody doesn't like them.  Bad Sara Lee, Bad.

Dear Certain Person,

Nope, the world still doesn't revolve around YOU. 

Too bad, so sad.

Have a good one.

The Stone Of Life

I know, I'm a day late and a dollar short on my Saturday Day Centus.  But I know that once Jenny gets over her tangent about my tardiness, it will be ok.
The rules, 100 words plus the prompt.  This week that means 103 words.  I always put the prompt in blue.  This weeks prompt was inspired by Jeff at Tennessee Mudbug.  Thanks Jeff.  This was a really hard one.  (I just realized that I say that every week, my bad)
The Stone Of Life

Have you ever wondered what is written within the stone of your life?  As I stare into the depths of it, I can see those things that have left small dents, huge slashes and happy, life changing moments.

Today, I see the father of my children, teaching them the ways of life.  I see my son-in-law, loving my grandchildren.  I see my oldest son, beaming with joy as he plays with his daughter.  There is also a spot on that stone, for my younger son that someday will become a dad.

Happy Fathers Day.   

What Were They Thinking......?

This is your car.........

This is your car on crack...........

Any Questions?

This public service message brought to you today by

Dude, what are all these cutout's in the road, and why are there orange and white things around them?

Photo taken by my very own camera Friday June 17, 2011 during lunch.  

Fracken Stupid People

Dear Christy and Boobies.  Thank you for allowing me to get a few things off my chest today.

First of all, that stupid fracken Hugh Hefner.  What the hell?

The wedding was called off.  Boo fracken hoo.  And that stupid bimbo is just as much an idiot as you.  I put my brain to work (something that neither of the two stupid people above did) and the following chart is what I came up with

Dumb bimbo is young enough to marry the 25, 45, and 65 year old posterity of the great grand-sugar-daddy.  Did you think of that Hugh?  Huh.  

I'll be right back, I have to go wash my eyes out.  

 Plus, what kind of diseases is that freakoide carrying around.   Just sayin.  

Moving on

I'm a proud member, or is it, I'm proud of my member?   What is up with you stupid fracken men in high places that think no one will ever find out about your sexcapades.   

And media people, I'm tired of hearing all about his weiner.   He's an idiot.  Get over it.  Cover the news that really matters.  Like, oh, I don't know.  Little kids that are dying because the insurance companies have their fake "flex insurance plans" that we all know I hate and loathe.  First they will bankrupt people trying to meet their deductible, and have bill collectors calling them for the money.  Go ahead, repossess their family members.  I triple dog dare you.  Meanwhile, the insurance companies are growing richer and richer and laughing their a$$es off.  

Breathing in, breathing out, breathing in, breathing out.  

Moving on.

I need to take myself to a happy place.   So of course, I'm joining the fun that is called

With our ever lovely Daft Scots Lass

This week is all about my favorite color Purple.  

If I could wear stilettos, not look like a big fat dork, and have the ever lovely body, I would get these shoes.  They are just soooooo freaking cute.

Next up, these little frilly boots.  Makes you just want to shake your groove thing, doesn't it. :)

We all know that I'm a flip flop girl at heart.  How cute are these.  In purple and with butterflies.  A match made in heaven.

Oh, to be young again.  I would love, love, love these roller skates.  I'm on a little vacation in my head right now, skating away.  soooo cute.

Last, but by far not the least, purple flip flop slippers.  I do have some like these, except, well, they aren't uggs, and they aren't purple.  They are a cream color and I got them at Wal*the*Mart.  They are so comfy and yet, keep your feet warm, but not so hot that you have to take them off.

I'm at my happy place.  

Please leave a message after the beep

B.E.E.P.

It's My Way Of Life

Thursday, the day that we head back to school and turn in our assignments to the battle-ax super schoolmarm Jenny.  Today's writing assignment is brought to us by the letter

Six years ago, about May 1st, I was diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes.  Usually Type 1 happens to young people.  They are seeing an increase in us older folk getting this type.  It has been a constant daily pain in the butt.  A whole new lifestyle has been placed upon me.  

I was introduced to what would become my lifesaver

Insulin.  Its a daily shooting up party with me.  The 24 hour insulin is usually taken once a day.  My doctor has me taking half of it in the morning and the other half at night.  My body was running low and giving me high blood glucose levels by the time I was giving myself the next shot.  The pre-meal insulin is what I take before I eat any meal.  I'm also supposed to take it if I have some kind of snack.  I have to admit, I'm not really good at the snack stuff.  I also have to check my glucose levels before bed and if need be, give myself a pre-bed shot.  So lets count how many times I'm shooting myself in the stomach every day.  Morning, breakfast, lunch, dinner, evening, pre-bed.  That would be 6.   Fun times.

I have to admit, I'm kind of cool with having type 1.  Why you ask?  I'll tell you.  I can still eat one of my favorite things.

Ice Cream.  

In all different ways.  My very favorite is the Starbucks Caramel Macchiato.  Give me a moment........ ok, I'm back.  Now, if you are talking an Ice Cream Sandwich, I have to have the Fat Boy brand.  I like a lot of Ice Cream in that sandwich.  Try it.  You might never go back to a thin ice cream sandwich again.  And yes, if I'm having this as a snack, shoot up baby.  

To put insulin in something for you to understand.  Let's say I'm out to dinner and they don't have Coke Zero.  First of all, the creeps.  But I can not stand the taste of Diet drinks.  (except for Dr. Pepper).  So I will order the regular Coke.  In order for my body to be ok with that, I have to take 7 units of insulin, just for the coke.  That's not counting whatever I'm eating.  

Aren't you amazed that your body is just taking care of that for most of you.  You are lucky in the fact that you just cook, sit down, and dig right in.  Diabetics have to calculate, shoot up (or if they have the pump, increase a smidge for food) and hope for the best.  

Not to mention that Diabetes can affect every organ in your body.  It's a constant keeping everything in good working order situation.

INSULIN, IT DOES MY BODY GOOD!