Friday, April 27, 2012

When Dazee And Dinosaurs Roamed The Earth

Oh, the good old days.  When you could watch tv with the whole fan damily and not have to hurry and change the channel, and by change the channel I mean get up off the couch and change the channel, so you wouldn't have to explain the reason that that woman is sitting on top of the car, almost naked, eating a hamburger.

By the way, with the advent of DVR's you can fast forward through them, but you still have to "watch" them.  But I digress.

I have gone in search of some of my favorite commercials from when I was a kid.  I loved some of the old jingles (again, you young'uns, they had their own, not just some song they paid royalties for to use) ah hmmm, moving along.  

McDonald's.  A national treasure.  Do you know that when they first opened, women were not allowed to work there.  Yeah, I know right.  

Who can forget this cute little guy.  So, so cute.  And it cracks me up at the end the way the announcer says bologna.

Fully dressed people in bed.  Shocker.

Ha, this jingle I still sing once in a while.  In fact I sang/texted it to one of my friends the other day.  Can be incorporated into any type of situation.  

Oh boy.  I remember this commercial.  I wanted one of these so freaking bad.  Never got it, cuz you know, it was a whole $1.99, but back in those days that was like $10.00.  

Does anyone remember when margarine was the thing you were supposed to use.  So much better for you than real butter.  Yeah, I know huh.  I will never forget "mother nature"

Loved this commercial.  Don't ask me why, I just did.  Maybe its because even as a youngster, I wanted the whole world to get along.  I grew up during the Vietnam War.  I think if I would have been an older teen in the 60's I would have been a flower child.  But, I was a mere kid and young teen.  I still have those ideals tho.  

What are some commercials that you remember from your youth?

Thursday, April 26, 2012

I'm Gonna Have To Fracken Hurt Someone




Are you ready to get your frack on?  I hope you are.  Go ahead and grab the little lady over there, and link up.  I want to know that I'm not the only one fit to be tied.

Dear Makers of Protective Covers
Yes, these are the covers on my phone and iPad.  You could never tell what my favorite color is.  Anyshamelessshowingoffmycovers, this is about the manufacturers of these items.  Could you fracken make them any harder to take off?  I've about had it with my fingers bleeding by the time I get them off of the damn things.  I understand they are to "Protect and Serve", but could you please make somewhere on there that just takes a little nudge, not vise grips to get it started.  Good thing I love the ones I have on.  I don't think I will be changing them for awhile.  My fingers are still healing.

Dear Lady 2 Cars In Front Of Me At Wendy's

You are one of the reasons I get road rage.  In this case, it was fracken sitting in line rage.  I knew I was in trouble when I saw your hand sticking out the window WITH AN
 8 1/2 x 11 PIECE OF PAPER, full of different orders.  IN THE DRIVE THRU.  Do you realize I almost got out of my car, came up to your window, and punched you right in the nose.  I don't know, but if I have a huge order, I usually go inside to get it.  But then, I'm nice like that.  May the wind grab that piece of paper right out of your hand and carry it far, far away.  

Dear Person That Copies The Wording On My Blog
IT IS MY FRACKING BLOG.  I put a lot of thought into what I write.  I'm not sure how other bloggers feel about it, but I'm pretty sure they think their work is their work.  I do not find it flattering that you are STEALING my words.  And it is blatant stealing.   Do you think I'm not going to notice?  I've noticed.  I'm fracking mad.  If you know me at all, you know that I'm usually a very nice person, but if you piss me off, you had better watch out.  Consider yourself warned!!!

Breathing........Breathing........

OK, now it's your turn.

Wednesday, April 25, 2012

I Spy - Repeating Patterns



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I Spy, with my crazy eye, you all joining in on this fabulous photo meme, that is hosted by Christy and her Mad Mind, and myself.  Don't be shy, just do it.  Think Nike (is that their saying?)

Here are the rules.  I feel like I'm so official when I put these for you all to read.  Every week we give you 2 prompts.  One prompt changes weekly, the other doesn't.  You can use any camera, fix it up anyway you want, and link up.  See how easy that is.  Now listen, if you don't start joining up, I might have to put a song and dance together like they do on the award shows when they give you the rules.  You've been warned.

This weeks prompts are REPEATING PATTERN and YOUR CHOICE

I have to say, it took me awhile to come up with a thought on what I was going to photograph.  You see, my partner, the one with the mad mind, comes up with the hard ones.  Because, well, she is so much more professional than I.  So, ummm, yeah, we'll blame it on her this week.  Got it?  Good

REPEATING PATTERN

My daughter-in-law crocheted this for me as my Christmas present last year.  Talk about your repeating patterns.  Did you happen to notice its purple.  Oh yeah, she knows how to get to her mother-in-laws heart.


Another repeating pattern.  The handrail going to our upstairs.  I love how some of them have little curly things on them.  I have to say, those, as well as my front door, had me loving this place when we were looking to buy.

MY CHOICE

One day, Mr. Dazee and I went to Lowe's to pick up some paint for our dining room.  While I was waiting for them to blend and mix and all that hard stuff, I noticed the cutest Bird House I have ever seen.  They made it for the March Of Dimes thing.  You could get a shamrock for a dollar, or as many as you wanted and then you were entered to win it.  I asked the customer service desk how much it would cost to just outright buy it.  Oh, about $350.00.    If I had that kind of money to spend, I might have just done it.

The front

The left side

The right side

So Freaking Cute!!!!

Ok, its your turn.  Come join the fun.

Next weeks prompts
Handle(s)  5/3/12
and
Your Choice

Future Prompts
Opposite Patterns  5/10/12
Nostalgic 5/17/12
Clouds  5/24/12


Monday, April 23, 2012

Best Cake Ever!!!


I've been thinking.  Oh stop it, I know I get all weird and strange when I think, but try to hang here with me for a minute, or seven.  

There is this song that Mr. Dazee has been playing while he has been painting the dining room.  I've always enjoyed it, but honestly, lately I've been trying to figure out what it all means.  

Take a listen.


Apparently, he baked a cake, took it to the park, gave it someone, who had the gall to leave it out in the rain.  

Then it gets worse,  he doesn't think that he can take it, because it took soooo long to make, and then he must have lost the recipe when he moved, or threw it away when he was done.  What a dork.

Then all of the sudden, the whole darn park is melting.  What the????

I want to know who the dirty rotten person is that left a cake in a park, in the rain.  Honestly, that person needs to be arrested just for not EATING the darn thing.  I've never been able to walk away from a cake.  Well, unless it is Spice, and then I can.  But still, that is just the waste (or waist, teeheehee) of a good cake.  

What do you think it means?

And no, I will not take any answer that says

"He must have been on some good drugs" 
Because that is a given.

Thursday, April 19, 2012

It's All The Fracking Rage





Warning, mad drawing skills in the following post.  

This week, on What The Frack?, I will once again be talking about road rage.  The funny thing is, all three things I'm going to talk about happened in a 30 minute part of my day.  30 minutes people.  That's how bad it can be.  

Let the ranting begin.

Dear Dude Who Stuck His Nose Out Into Traffic
My name is Dazee Defensive Driver.  I am always aware of other cars and what they are or are not doing.  I saw you speeding your way to the stop sign.  I was starting to fret, when you finally slammed on your breaks, but still made it out into the oncoming traffic.  What the frack dude.  Oh yes, I decided to make you look bad.  I went out of my way to show you how stupid you were.  I didn't even make it all the way into the other lane.  I did notice in my rear view mirror that you FINALLY backed up when another car did the same thing.  Guess what, you do not own the road, and you are just lucky I love my car or I would have been tempted to just smack into you.

Dear Stop Sign Holder Dudette
Are you fracken nuts?  Having your back to oncoming traffic.  I admit, I'm a little bit bent with all the construction, but I do follow the stop and slow signs.  The thing is, you didn't even turn around when I started getting close to you.  I could have been full of rage, and run you down.  You didn't even turn once I was sitting there.  I guess you didn't realize that you were not looking at Dazee, my camera goes everywhere with me.  You're just lucky that I wasn't drunk, or texting.  Hope you have a good will.

Dear Red Light and Lead Car Dude
First.  construction.  My nemesis.  I came upon this red light, it finally turned green and 5, count them, 5 whole cars made it through before it turned red again.  And not because of traffic backup on the other side.  Just because the light changed that fast.  I started doing my deep breathing, knowing that I was going to be there about another 4 minutes before it would be our turn again.  From this view, you can only see the 2 cars in front of me.  There was a little red car as lead car.  The light changes.  We sit, we sit, a good 5 seconds.  I'm about ready to blow my top.  Do the other 2 cars do anything?  NO.  Me.  you better fracking believe it.  I blew my horn.  And it wasn't the nice, one short honk "oh sir, could you please go", it was "dude, get your freaking ass in gear and get going".  I think I scared the 2 cars in front of me.  I could care less.  I was NOT going to get stuck through another cycle of lights because of bad drivers.  You should have seen has fast red car went through the construction cones afterwards.  Too bad there wasn't a cop around.  He would have gotten a ticket as well as my horn up his.........

I promise you I'm not always a mean driver.  I'm really not.  I just want to get where I'm going, with the least amount of aggravation as possible.  

I'm sure you understand.

Wednesday, April 18, 2012

I Spy - Architecture




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Welcome to I Spy.  Hosted by the ever popular and mad, Christy of My Mad Mind fame, and Dazee, of the wild and crazy fame. 

Here's the rules.  I know, I tell them to you every week.  They go something like this.

Blah, blah, blah, 2 prompts, blah blah blah, One prompt changes weekly, blah, blah, blah, this week the prompt is Architecture, blah, blah, blah,  the other is always the same, very popular, Your Choice.  Blah, blah, blah, camera, blah, blah, blah, post, blah blah blah, link up.  Got it?  Good

ARCHITECTURE

This is the Stampin' Up! Headquarters.  It is not very far from where I live.  I have always loved this building.  


It has so many cool parts to this building.  At the left, you will see that the 2nd and 3rd floors have little decks out from the door.  On the very right side of the rounded building, there is a huge deck that has picnic tables on it.  Honestly, You have to see this building in person.  It is beautiful.  The photo's I took just do not do it justice. 

MY CHOICE

Last Sunday, I had my kids and grandkids over for dinner.  We all couldn't get together for Easter.  

I know that Christy is going to say all I think about is food, but honestly, take a look at these shiskabobs that my daughter-in-law Lizzie, and I made.  Oh my.  Can you say DELICIOSO!!!!  We made them on Saturday, marinaded them with a Hawaiian Flavor marinade overnight, popped them in the oven to pre-cook them, and then threw them on the grill for the final flavor burst.  Total F.O.

Of course, I know I've mentioned how much I love my grandkids.  
This is Miss A, age 4, (just a thumb away from 5, her words), on the left, and Miss O, age 5 (soon to be 6) on the right.  They are the bestest of friends.  Miss A was escorting Miss O to her car when it was time to leave.  Love those girls.  

Now please, please, please, with homemade whip cream and a cherry on top, join up with us.  I truly want to see parts of your world.  

Next weeks prompts
Repeating Pattern  
and
Your Choice

Future Prompts
Handle  5/3/12
Opposite Patterns  5/10/12
Nostalgic 5/17/12
Clouds  5/24/12




Guts? Me? I Don't Think So



While going through my reader yesterday, scolding myself for not doing a post, I came across this meme, and was like, hey, I can bore tell my side of this story.  Read it and weep.  Because you will be weeping with joy, that I have finished, by the time you finish.  

5 Things I Wish I Had The Guts To Do:

1.  I wish I had the guts to run for State Legislator.  Why?  They need a voice of reason.  They need someone that isn't all about church and state being in bed together.  They need someone that will be FOR THE PEOPLE.  Not the Corporations.  And that is the final rant about politics.

2.  I wish I had the guts to write a book.  How I would love to come up with something that people would read and enjoy.  Of course, the millions that some of those authors make would be nice too.

3.  I wish I had the guts to grab a friend, jump on an airplane, go to New York, have dinner, maybe go to a show, and then fly back to Salt Lake.  Not to have to worry about explaining to Mr. Dazee why I just randomly put money on the credit card, and especially, have him say that he's not mad at me, but that he thinks I'm a goonball, and that's why he loves me.

4.  I wish I had the guts to be in the same room with a mouse, and not start to hyperventilate, jump up on my chair, and scream at the top of my lungs.  To say I have a phobia of mice, would be an extreme understatement.

5.  I wish I had to guts to let my parents know I have tattoos.  Most of my siblings know, but for some reason, growing up in the religion I did, and not meeting the expectations of my parents, I just can't do it.  I love my tattoos.  I have butterflies for Mr Dazee, my kids, and my grandkids.  They mean the world to me.  I guess I just don't want to hear them say that I have ruined my body, and have "disappointed" them.  I need to practice what I preach and just not care about how they feel.    

Maybe this will be the year.

Monday, April 16, 2012

What Clown College Did You Come From?


After sitting down and watching the 9:00 PM early news (because, I'm an olster and fall asleep early), I just had to bring up a point of interest, to you, my adoring fans.

WEATHERMEN
Do they go to some kind of clown college?  Is there a code of weirdness that they have to follow?  Maybe I just need to get a life, but honestly, most of the MEN weather people I watch, on any channel, are strange, wacky, and weird.  Now, Steve Martin, I would love to have him as my weatherman to watch.  Why, because he is natural, he doesn't have to "try" to be funny.  

And while I'm on the "what bothers me about local news" rant, lets talk about the talk between the dude covering the "Breaking News" story, and the anchor back at the station.  

Tonight's breaking news, a fire at the LDS Conference Center.  Yeah, that could be bad. But the sprinkler system got the fire out pronto, before the fire department got there, but there was extensive water damage from said sprinkler system.  Reporter interviews the Fire dude.  Fire dude does a good job of telling us all that he knows right now.  Even I, got it the first time.  Reporter then asks the same question, 2 or 3 times, in a different way, but the same freaking question.  I'm screaming at my TV, asked and answered, asked and answered!!!!!!

Meanwhile he FINALLY throws it back to the studio.  Male anchor, "so, reporter dude, did the fire person just say that there is water damage".  What the hell!!!    I don't know, I didn't hear it the 3 TIMES ALREADY.  Breathing, breathing.  

Don't even get me going on the talk between the male anchor and the weatherman.  I'm trying hard to get that vision out of my brain.

Friday, April 13, 2012

Out Of My Way, It's Mine



The Scene:  
One of the local thrift stores

The Time:
Approximately 1:00 PM

The Date:
Thursday, April 12, 2012


There I was, minding my own business, sitting on one of the *ah hum* used couches that someone had donated.  Mr. Dazee was looking through CD's for a dollar while I rested.  

Across from me was a shelf-like thing that had old VHS movies on it.  I had scanned them before sitting down, realizing there was nothing of interest to me.  

An older woman approached the shelf and started looking at them, while putting some in her basket.  Before long, another older woman joined her.  They were not getting in each others way.  It was peaceful.  That was about to change.

All of the sudden, out of the blue, 2 other women show up.  It becomes a pushing match.   I could see what was going on in their brains.

*She's taking all the good ones*
*If she takes that one I'm going to stab her in the eye*

It became a free for all.  The air smelled of anger and fear.  I looked around for store employees.  None were to be found.  Of course, I think I'm a smidge braver than some of them.  

Finally I could stand it no more.  I pulled out my camera and told them all to step away from the shelf.  Something about the look on my face must have told them to scatter.  Ok, not really, I thought that in my mind, and I didn't get my camera out in time.

But really?  What The Frack?  

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

I Spy - Looking To The Left


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Come with me, my little buck-a-roos, as we traipse through photo land with Christy and me, or I, or whatever the good English is.  Right now, I really could care less.  What?  I'm allowed a bad English day once in a while, aren't I?

Back to the rules.   We give you 2 prompts.  One is ever changing, and the other is always going to be Your Choice.  We don't care what kind of camera you use, or how you dress it up.  We just like you to show off your work.  Of which, there are many many many of you that need to start doing just that.  You know who you are.  Yeah, I'm looking at YOU!

This weeks prompt is LOOKING TO THE LEFT.  I have to say, I had a riot with this one.  Why, because I'm not normal.  I know it, I live it, I accept it.  

Lets begin.  First of all, I'm super sorry about the quality of this first photo.  I was in a hurry to get it taken before the subject found me out.  I was leaning against the paint chips looking to my left, down they aisle as Mr. Dazee and this Lowe's dude were conversing.  Why did I take his photo?  Well, because, while Mr. Dazee and I were discussing if some of the handles needed to "special ordered", this dude starting heading down the aisle, spotted us, did a quick right turn, and TOTALLY IGNORED US.  I know, I'm scary looking but hell, customer service and all.  Mr. Dazee ended up having to go find him, and what was he doing.  Oh, lets see, TALKING WITH 3 OTHER LOWE'S EMPLOYEES.  Poor baby, he had to come help us.  Boo Hoo.

The last few weeks, I have passed the next photo, while shopping at Walmart.  Being the avid book reader, and Criminal Minds fan that I am, every time I pass those, I blurt out to Mr. Dazee, 
"Should we get one to hide the bodies?"  He's such a good sport.  I just don't understand why he hurries and walks away when I take out my camera in public.  Oh well.

Last week my mom and dad moved into a senior center.  My daughter and I went to check out their new digs.  I have to say, I wanted to live there by the time we left.  They feed you 3 meals a day, have activities all day long, and clean your room once a week.  Of course, my mom wanted to "show us off" so we went during lunch time.  Sitting at the table to the left of us, was this group of ladies.  Apparently that is "their table".  DO NOT EVER SIT THERE.  One of my other sisters ate dinner there and had their 2 kids with them, so mom and dad, not knowing "the rule", took that table so the kids would have a place to run.  Oh lordy, did they get the stink eye, and even worse, "that is OUR table".  Apparently Senior Centers have cliques too.  They didn't even know I was getting their photo.  hahaha, I'm that good.

MY CHOICE

Last month, Mr. C's 2nd grade class was studying weather.  In fact, every day, one of the kids was the "weatherman".  He came up and we went on my iPad to get the next days weather so he could do his "spot".  Fun.  Anyway, they had an assignment that they had to do a poster of a "storm" and tell the class all about it.  

His was entitled 

COMPUTER STORM
"The computer storm shoots technology.  It gives people technology when they need it.  If it hits an animal, it would give the animal super powers of shooting lightning.  It would burn things if it hits any type of plant.  The good thing is, if it shoots a computer, and the computer is dead, it will work again"

He thought up all of that himself, and did the poster.  That kid's brain is amazing.  

Next Weeks Prompts
Architecture
and
Your Choice

Future Prompts
Repeating Pattern  4/26/12
Handle  5/3/12
Opposite Patterns  5/10/12
Nostalgic 5/17/12


Friday, April 6, 2012

What The Frack, You Weirdo



The following is an award, that I am going to hand out to a weirdo man that came to my door the other day.  

You see, it started like this.  I'm sitting in my office, minding my own business, reading a book, when the doorbell rings.  

I have been expecting Book Three of the Harry Potter series that my daughter ordered. I didn't hurry out of my chair, well, because if you know your local UPS person, by the time you get to the door, they have scampered to their truck and are usually hitting their next stop.  

After leaving the package where my daughter can get it, I mosey back to my chair and book and I'm just getting comfy, when my doorbell rings again.  What The?  Did something else get ordered that the UPS guy forgot to leave?  I get back up, head to the door, and SOMEONE is pushing the doorbell, like "ANSWER THE DOOR NOW!!!!!"

I open the door to a man, who is somewhat out of breath.  This is our conversation.  No folks, I couldn't make this up.

Dude:  Did someone just drop something off at your door?
Dazee:  Yes, it was from UPS.
Dude:  Are you sure?
Dazee: ummm, yeah, it was a UPS box addressed to me 
Dude:  well, I had some stuff stolen out of my garage a few days ago and I saw this van, so I've been following it.  It keeps making stops at different houses.
Dazee:  Oh............*crickets*

Sidebar:  Last time I checked our UPS truck didn't look like this

I know for a fact that the UPS truck that comes to our house looks like this.  Even with the sexy outfit on the guy, minus the beer gut.

Dude:  Well, I followed him here so I was checking to see if he is just leaving random stuff at doors.  
Dazee:  What the hell are you fracken on dude?    Wait, didn't say that, was thinking that.
Dude:  Well if you are sure it was from UPS.
Dazee:  Yup, it was

I'm pretty sure I looked like this.

This is why I seldom answer my door, unless I know someone is coming to visit.  That and, you never know if a serial killer is at your door.  What?  I said I was reading a book.  

Wednesday, April 4, 2012

I Spy - Old



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High on a hill was a lonely Spy-er
Lay ee odl lay ee odl lay hee hoo
She had a co-host, right behind her
Lay ee odl lay ee odl-oo

Christy in a town that was quite remote heard
Lay ee odl lay ee odl lay hee hoo
Calmly and clear from Da-zee's throat heard
Lay ee odl lay ee odl-oo

Soon I Spy was born, with a gleaming gloat heard
Lay ee odl lay ee odl lay hee hoo
Others followed along with the girls and goatherd
Lay ee odl lay ee odl-oo

Caught you all singing, didn't I.  Well, come on along, snap those photos. with any type of camera and link on up.  It's the best thing since, well since chocolate chip cookies.  We give you 2 prompts every week.  This weeks prompts are OLD and YOUR CHOICE.

Always remember, I am of the sort that thinks outside the box.  Alright?  Alright!

OLD

Road construction is getting OLD.  Like, hold me back I'm gonna hurt them old.  Orange and white cones everywhere.  Everyday making us go in a different pattern.  

Having the construction equipment always have the right of way is getting OLD

Having them get in front of me on one road, and deciding they are going to be in front of me till the end of time is getting OLD!!!!
But enough of my rant of construction getting old.

Here is a little guy that is actually OLDER than me.  When my mom was pregnant with me, she got this little elephant because, well, being a woman with a baby in your belly you will understand, you get to the point where you feel like a big OLD elephant.  I think it is the cutest thing ever.  And it is now mine.

Here is a different view of her face.  Look how wonky they painted the eyes.  Yeah, I felt that way being pregnant too. 

MY CHOICE

I'm sure you have all heard about The Hunger Games.  And if you haven't, then you have been living under a rock.  My friend Amber, and her sister, went to a Hunger Games party the night of the opening.  

Look how amazingly close her little sister looks like Katniss.
Wow.

Here are next weeks prompts
LOOKING TO YOUR LEFT
and
YOUR CHOICE

I'm thinking that Looking To Your Left is going to be full of all types of possibilities.  Why, because all of you can snap a photo of something to the left of you.  

Future Prompts
Architecture 4/19/12
Repeating Pattern  4/26/12
Handle  5/3/12
Opposite Patterns  5/10/12


Tuesday, April 3, 2012

So, we're pretty much friends by now, right?


My Crazy Dreamland

Well, it happened.  

Last night was the very first and last episode of 
The Amazing Race/Survivor Show

It all started on our island.  We were all teamed up.  
Lucky me, my partner was Napoleon Dynamite.

The first part of our competition was Amazing Race style.  We had to climb a mountain, and then when we got to the top we had to milk a goat.   Napoleon and I got to the top of the mountain first.  We were fighting like brother and sister while we were getting the milk for our next clue.  We finally did, slid down the mountain to a dirt pathway, and started running for our lives to get to Phil first.

We did, and then, BAM, we were in a broadcast studio, waiting for Jeff Probst to show up so we could do the final vote.  I was sitting there being all shy.  (stop your laughing).  Napoleon was on the other size of Jeff's chair yukking it up with all the other people.

Jeff FINALLY came into the room, and talked to all of us.  Then he started reading the votes.  Napoleon, Dazee, Napoleon, Dazee, Napoleon, Dazee, Napoleon Dazee.  I started crying.  I just knew that I was going to win the million bucks and how it would help my family.   Napoleon didn't need it, he is already rich.

Final Vote
NAPOLEON
what the????????

And he wasn't even listening.  Didn't jump up and down.  Wasn't until about a half hour later that he said,

"Wait, Did I Win?  Gosh"

And no, Momma Fargo, I am not on any medication that will make me go all coocoo for cocoa puffs.  


Monday, April 2, 2012

Driving Miss Dazee


Have I mentioned I love my grandkids?  I haven't, well, it's true.  Each of them have their own ways of doing things.  

Whenever Miss A and I are together, we have a little thing where instead of talking, we sing.  The other day I took her brother and sister to school.  On the way home, we got into a little "discussion".  I recorded it without her knowing, because you know, then she wouldn't have done it.  (excuse the gratuitous boobage shot)

Notice at the very end, her imitation of an elephant.  She does a rather good job of it, if I don't say so myself.  And I'm the Grammie, so I can. :)


Things like this, just make me happy.