Really? You Can't Wait?

Howdy Rowdy's.  What's the haps?  (yes I spent time with my young nieces last night)

Anyweirddazee, today we are going to have a little talk about patience on the road.  I admit, I might get impatient on the freeway, if by chance an idiot  person merges onto the autobahn and then proceeds to go 20 miles under the speed limit.  But alas, I just turn on my handy dandy turn signal and get around them, while flipping them off below the window level so they don't see it, and go on my merry way.

That rant is now over.  Next I am going to talk about parking lot scenario's.  These actually happened to me this week, so it is not made up.  

Sit back and enjoy.

While stopping at the nearby Walmart, (because they have my bank inside the store), Mr. Dazee and I did our business and started walking out of the store.  I think I have mentioned that I have diabetic neuropathy.  Severe.  I can not walk very fast, and I'm in major pain while walking.  Mr. Dazee is ahead of me, walking like a normal person.  I am behind, doing the Dazee Mae walk of pain, when a Van with an older man and his wife come zooming around the one line of parked cars and proceeds to want to turn into the line of parked cars where we are.  He slows proceeds to try to hurry Mr. Dazee off the road, by inching ever so rudely closer to him.  At this time I am in the middle of the pedestrian crossing.  I think, "I will never make it fast enough for this dude", so I stop.

I look ever so nicely sour faced at him, and give him the universal hand motion of "you go first".  I wait a minute and look at him with the "why are you still there" look and he is doing the "no, you go first hand motion".  By this time he has totally pissed me off, so I look at him again, my face registering the "you are a total idiot" look and do the hand motion again, this time a little more forceful.  Apparently, his wife got involved after this display, because he did the hand movement like, "my wife just called me a name so you better go, and I'm really nice".  Dumb A.  I did go, but it did take me longer than he had hoped.  Too bad so sad for him.

Score one for Dazee

I dropped my daughter-in-law off to work this morning, because I'm nice like that, and after she got out, I started to back out.  Looked both ways like a good little driver should.  Get all the way out to the street, with my wheels turned to start moving forward, when a car comes zooming out of the other parking lane and stops abruptly, looking at me with her face all scrunched up and sending eye sparks my way.  Ummmm, lady, I was clearly out into the street.  You could have waited further back in the parking lane, waited to turn right, until I was well on my way.  But no, you were in a big freaking hurry to get to where you were going.  I think I might have mouthed Dumb A as I was driving by her, but I didn't look at her, so that doesn't count, right?

I guess what I'm trying to say here is, people need to be more courteous and patient when in parking areas.  There would be nothing worse than hurting someone, or even ending their life because you are in a big freaking hurry.

Speaking of ending a life, what is up with these people leaving their kids, pets and even elderly disabled parents in hot cars?  I sat in the car the other day, with all the windows down, while Mr. Dazee went into a store.  He said he would be just a minute.  But you know, sometimes you get in a store, and you can't find someone to help you, or you just get tied up, and so it lasts a lot longer.  I was getting so hot, and sweating, trying to find a napkin or something to wipe the sweat off my face, and THIS WAS WITH THE WINDOWS OPEN.  I had a bottle of water with me, but it had sat out in the car long enough that it was very hot water.  I did drink a little of it, but yikes, super hot water while sweating, no thank you.  

Phew.  I was really on a rant.  

In order to end on a really awesome note, and if you are my friend on facebook, I'm sorry for posting this yet again, but hey, what can I say.  

Who doesn't like bagpipe music, men in kilts, and fire.  

Do Enjoy

Sometimes I Wish My Car Horn Was A Train Horn

If you are like me, you have those days, when there must have been a mass message sent out that read

"All Dumb Drivers Must Drive Today"

In order to clear my brain of such nonsensical drivers, let me tell you about a few that I have had the ULTIMATE PLEASURE of witnessing.  

You find yourself sitting at a red light.  There is only one car in front of you.  The light finally turns green.  Oh goodie, the driver has a "standard" car, aka, you have to shift your own gears.  This is always a scary process anyway.  (as you can tell by some of the contestants on The Amazing Race)  You yell obscenities  kindly at the woman that is driving the car to "GO", or in one of Mr. Dazee's favorites sayings say, "the light is green, it's not going to get any greener, even if you fertilize and water it".   That Mr. Dazee, such a hoot.  You can't understand why she is having such a hard time working the gear shift.  Oh wait, what is that?  Why, she has to take a drag off her cigarette before shifting because it is in her shifting hand.  Yup.  Good thing I didn't say hello to your bumper sister.

You are on the freeway.  There is a pick up truck in front of you.  You are travelling at the posted speed limit of 65.  Ok, you are probably going 70, but whose looking.  Mr. "I'm moving down the road, trying to loosen my load", has left his tailgate down.  This is fine and dandy when there is nothing back there.  But when there is a shovel positioned as shown, and a fish tank, full of water, minus the fish, positioned as shown, it is a scary proposition.  This is the conversation going on in my head.  "Hello, insurance company, yeah, ummm, my car was just hit with a flying fish tank and shovel.  No, I'm not drunk".  Thank goodness he didn't take the same exit that I did!!!

You get a craving for McDonalds.  Admit it, you all do.  You get in line to place your order.  There is a stupid lady in front of you.  She places her order.  She pulls a smidgen forward, not quite far enough for you to get to the speaker.  You hear the fine, lovely, person saying, "welcome to McDonalds, blah blah blah".  You see that the clueless person in front of you has their window open.  You start screaming, "move it lady".  She doesn't move.  You start calling her names.  There is clearly no one in front of her.  The workerbee at McDonalds starts telling you she is sorry, she will be with you in a minute.  When you get to the window to pay, you apologize to her.  She starts laughing and says she totally understands.  

(warning, they can hear everything you are saying in their little headphones when you are at the speakers.  So, ummmm, no naughty talk, wink wink)

We are down to being a one car family.  Our car of choice  is a 1991 GMC Safari Mini van.  We have had it for 25 years.  Hey, it still gets us where we are going.  I am sitting at the light.  Mr. Big Shot Driving A New Lexus Sports Car is in the lane next to me.  The light turns green.  The race is on.  Booyah, 25 year old van wins the Lexus.  Take that Mr. Sunday Driver Dude!!!!

Community mailboxes.  Sometimes they are a pain, but you are less likely to have your mail stolen.  Why is this under the dumb driver category?  I'll tell you why.  Because there are some "I'm the only person in the whole wide world" drivers out there.  They park themselves right in front of the mailbox.  Get out, get their mail, see you driving up, SIT THERE AND GO THROUGH THEIR MAIL, couldn't care less if you would like to get yours, and don't move.  Train Horn............oops, what's that smell.......

Last but certainly not least.  The impatient driver at the 3 way stop.  Rules of "all cars must stop before proceeding".  First person there goes, and so on and so on and so on.  I clearly get there first.  I am halfway thru the intersection.  Car pictured above is sooooo impatient that she pulls out in front of me, barely missing my bumper.  Oooohhhh, you did not just do that missy.  I get as close to her as I can, and give her the finger.  Yeah, I did it........ and I did it the WHOLE time I was following her.  I did find it extremely funny that even tho she was in a big freaking hurry she got behind a big ole dump truck.  Whose the winner now??????

Gotta go now.  I've got places to go and people to honk at......

What Clown College Did You Come From?

After sitting down and watching the 9:00 PM early news (because, I'm an olster and fall asleep early), I just had to bring up a point of interest, to you, my adoring fans.

WEATHERMEN

Do they go to some kind of clown college?  Is there a code of weirdness that they have to follow?  Maybe I just need to get a life, but honestly, most of the MEN weather people I watch, on any channel, are strange, wacky, and weird.  Now, Steve Martin, I would love to have him as my weatherman to watch.  Why, because he is natural, he doesn't have to "try" to be funny.  

And while I'm on the "what bothers me about local news" rant, lets talk about the talk between the dude covering the "Breaking News" story, and the anchor back at the station.  

Tonight's breaking news, a fire at the LDS Conference Center.  Yeah, that could be bad. But the sprinkler system got the fire out pronto, before the fire department got there, but there was extensive water damage from said sprinkler system.  Reporter interviews the Fire dude.  Fire dude does a good job of telling us all that he knows right now.  Even I, got it the first time.  Reporter then asks the same question, 2 or 3 times, in a different way, but the same freaking question.  I'm screaming at my TV, asked and answered, asked and answered!!!!!!

Meanwhile he FINALLY throws it back to the studio.  Male anchor, "so, reporter dude, did the fire person just say that there is water damage".  What the hell!!!    I don't know, I didn't hear it the 3 TIMES ALREADY.  Breathing, breathing.  

Don't even get me going on the talk between the male anchor and the weatherman.  I'm trying hard to get that vision out of my brain.

Liar! Liar! Pants On Fire

Today, I am going to tell you all a story about Chrissann and Doughboy.  Yes, I know that I no longer work with these fine specimen of menhood, but hey, I still have ways of finding out their lies.  That's what a good P.I. like myself does.  
First of all Chrissann (not his real name) worked in credit.  He became all hot and bothered one day because the salesmen were not filling out job accounts right.  So he took around the new credit application "that he had written himself".  Too funny that it said, "please fax this back to Chrissann in credit".  Hmmm last time I checked there wasn't a Chrissann in credit.  
l i a r!!!!!I was told a little story recently about Chrissann telling someone in the office that a person in another location had called HIM, to put pressure on this person in the office to get her to do some work because other location person needed something to do.  R.I.G.H.T.  Because A, said other person would never call you over that, and B, she would have called the person directly.liar!!!!!I detest people like him.  But he is a much better person to keep around than me.  Just sayin'.
Doughboy.  Mr., I try to make you think I'm smarter than I really am, I.T. guy.Oh, and just so you know, we were woman, so therefore we will never be as smart as me.  
Female in the office is having problems with her phone.  She calls Doughboy.  He thinks she is just not smart enough to figure it out.  That's funny doughboy, both me and her were smarter than you.  Had to show you a few things you couldn't figure out.  But whatever floats your boat.  
So he called his good ole partner in crime, Chrissann and has him go look at her phone because, he thinks she is doing it wrong.  Give me a break.  Of course, I'm calling them bothliars!!!
I have to say, this Progressive commercial in one of my favorites right now.  I wish this kind of stuff would happen in real life.  
Yeah, I still have some anger issues.  Working on them.

Dear Dollar Tree Weirdo's

Dear Dollar Tree Weird Couple(s)

While attempting to walk up and down the aisles on Thursday at the Dollar Tree you so nicely granted your appearance at, I noticed a few things that I needed to bring to your attention.

First of all.  Couple Number 1 (not pictured)

The male persuasion of you both,  was tall and dressed oh so debonair, in his dark blue pants and blazer, and his red sweater underneath.  I really expected him to pull out his monogrammed hanky and honk his horn.    His studying of all the little dollar gadgets was just weird.  I think you were a robot.  You had no emotion on your face.  

You weirded me out.  

The female persuasion, well, you were just as weird, when we would try to walk by, that was when you needed to bend down and stick your butt in our way.  I think you are spies.  You didn't belong in a dollar store.  Just sayin.

Couple Number 2 (pictured, well the back of the male because that's the only photo I got)

Who the frack taught you people to shop?  Were you raised in a jungle?  What?  You want evidence of my rant.

Ok, how about when you are down an aisle that has a support beam in the way, I really appreciated how the male left the cart right there so no one could get through.  Where did you go?  Oh, I don't know, up to look at the drinks.  Female cohort was squatting looking through make up brushes like they were going out of style.  Did she not see said male leave the scene of the crime.  I think not.  She asked him a question, he didn't answer, looked around saw he wasn't there and went back to her brushes.  Did you mother never tell you that it is nice to move your damn cart so others can get through.  

*insert monkey chatter*

Continuing on

Lets move on to another row, shall we.  Thanks.  Oh, I see your cart is right in the middle of the aisle.  Where are you both?  Oh, there you are, at the back of the store, in the freezer section, having a discussion of major importance.  Why oh why, didn't I just start running like a mad woman, crash my cart into your cart, and go all banshee on you.    You aren't the only ones in the store, Tarzan and Jane.

But then

You get to the check out line, right in front of us.  I understand that people forget things.  Really, I do.  But hell, you are in the DOLLAR store.  You don't have to keep seeing things that you want.  Why must you have kept adding.  The cashier is done with you.  Waiting for you to pay, there is a line here.  Oh wait, Tarzan wants another drink.  Jane tells him, it's ok, just go get it, but I guess you will have to stand in line.  No shit sherlock.  

And Breathe

Made a quick stop at Home Depot.  

Greeter at the door

"Hi, can I help you with anything"

First say no, then turn around innocently and say, 

"Do you have hand baskets"

Her head starts turning all ways, smoke is coming out of her eyes, 

"I do not compute hand baskets you are asking for"

Never mind.  Maybe you shouldn't be a greeter.

Couple number one has followed us there.  

Going down the same aisles as us.  

Spies, I tell ya, spies.

Give Me A Effing Break!!!!

Just opened up our new medical insurance packet.  To say that I am pissed is an understatement.  I realize that a lot of you don't even have medical insurance.  But hey, lets keep paying for the wars, cuz that is far more important than helping american's with health insurance.  

We got the new and improved awful insurance that is all the rage this year.  I would drop my medical insurance here at work if I could.  But being Type 1 diabetic, I need it to be able to AFFORD to get my insurance, oh and to say, STAY ALIVE.  But hey, you need to come up with $3000 out of pocket first.  

But, GOOD NEWS.  Got our newest insurance packet in the mail on friday.  Which, rant, Insurance and IRS shit always arrives on friday so you can't call and get all pissed off over the weekend.  They are hoping that you will calm down by Monday.  

On to the good news, it is now $3900.  Can they change it in the middle of the year like that?  Does anyone even care?  

A lot of republicans could give a rats ass.  Make sure we get our bombs, and shit, but to hell with you that need something TO KEEP YOU ALIVE!!!!

Calgon Take Me Away

Oh and guess what else.  Remember the post I did about my mom and dad being taken to the cleaners on their house.  They just got notice they have to be out in 2 to 3 days.

What a freaking crock of shit!!!!

Some People Suck

Ok, so, ummmm, I'm going to rant today.  I'll try to rant in a humorous way, but I'm not promising it will happen.

Some people suck.  There I said it.  But don't worry my little chick-a-dee's.  I'm not talking about any of you.  You guys rock my world.  Hell, some of you even want to hang out with me. 

Speaking of which.  I sent a friend request to my long lost school friend.  I know she has been on facebook because I saw she changed her profile picture.  She is ignoring that and the private messages I sent her.  So, I'm over it.  I guess you really can't go back to some things.  Besides, I just might not be religious enough for her.  

Which brings me to my rant.

As most of you know, my daughter and her family live in our basement apartment.  Next door there lives a family that has kids about the same age.  They are of the "religion of Utah choice".  Their kids USED to be able to play with my grandkids.  But only outside.  The other night we were babysitting the kids while their mom and dad went on a date.  The kids next door asked if the grandkids could play.  They asked us and of course we said they could.  Then they were told, but you can only come into our backyard, we can't play at your house.  Fine, they FINALLY got grass this year, so all is well.  About 5 minutes after they went over there, they were back.  "Their mom and dad said they had to come in".  My grandkids are not allowed inside their house.  Their kids have come into the apartment, but get in trouble when they do.  Also, their kids are the type that ask the grandkids to come in and ask either their mom and dad, or me and Mr. Dazee for food.  Otter pops, ice cream bars, candy, you name it, they know us grandparents have stuff around to spoil them.  I'm thinking that if my grandkids went over there and asked them to go ask their mom and dad for something to eat, they would be grounded for life.  

It just really pisses me off.  We are good people.  NO we don't go to church.  Doesn't mean that we are scum of the earth.  We are making our backyard kid friendly so that kids can play back there and not be out on the street.  We don't party all night.  Yes, we drink coffee (OMG, tell me it isn't true), but I tell you what.  I know for a fact that my daughter, her husband, and Mr Dazee would give you the shirt off their back if you needed it.  But you see, we are BAD.  We aren't the religion of choice.  Sidebar:  I am but I don't go any longer.  As do my kids.  This kind of behavior finally got to me.  

NO ONE, and I mean, NO ONE, is better than anyone else.  I don't care what you believe in, what color your skin is, or even your political views.  We are ALL part of the human race.  There are bad people in every race, religion and political arena.  

I lived with my own kids being treated different because of the religious outlook.  But I will be damned if I'm going to watch my grandkids be treated the same way.  Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.......Well, people that feel like that are better than anyone else will be seeing my fury soon.  Because Earth hath no fury like a grandmother scorned!!!!!!!

Rant over.

I'm Peeved!!!!

Disclaimer.  I'm on a rant.  I might not be my normal self in this post.  Read at your own risk.

So, according to the above picture, I'm a little peeved right now.   

Lets preface this rant.  Approximately 5 years ago, my brothers get this GREAT idea to invest their houses in the stock market, through an investor they knew.    They were trying to get everyone in our family to go along with this FABULOUS idea.  Having Mr Dazee once in the real estate field, he was all like, oh no, that is a really dumb idea.  You will get taken.  

But no, my brothers think they are so smart when it comes to stuff like this.  Plus, I live in the state where there are a lot of sheep that follow what people in their church say is a good thing, because, well, they would never ever take advantage of the other members.  Uh huh, because all of God's chosen would never do something like that.  Never, ever, ever.

They go into this great plan, my older sister goes into this great plan, and they talk my parents into going into this great plan.  Mom and dad who are in their late 70's and have limited income.  

You can see where this is going.   Sister and her hubby have lost their house and are living with my parents.  I'm not sure what happened to my brothers and their houses.  Mostly because I'm a bitch and don't keep up with them.  

So, today, my mom comes over to chat.  It's a beautiful day outside so we sit out on the porch enjoying the view.  (oh and Mr Dazee is working in the yard.   what?  I said we were enjoying the view. :)  )

Mom starts saying that she should be home going through all of her closets.  Older sister is trying to have her get rid of a bunch of things.  My mom is from the depression era, so she has a hard time of "letting go" of some of her stuff.  It might be useful.  I understand.    I ask, so you going to have a big yard sale.  She says yes.   And then she blurts out, "ESPECIALLY SINCE I DON'T KNOW WHERE I'LL BE LIVING NEXT YEAR".  

I look at her and ask why in the heck she would say something like that.  And her reply.  The reason I'm soooo super pissed off today.

BECAUSE WE GOT A LETTER SAYING WERE BEING EVICTED AND HAVE TO BE OUT BY NOVEMBER.

Yup, my parents, because they decided to go along with that fine and stupid plan, just might be losing their house!!!!!   And this isn't their first eviction notice.  They got one a couple of years ago, but one of my brothers stepped in and somehow someone was helping out.  I don't know.  Remember, bad sister.  

She says, well so-and-so (not his real name) has a really good lawyer that says he can help.  Yup, I've heard them fishes fart before.  Suing someone that swindled your money will never get it back for you.  I myself might have been born at night, but it wasn't last night.   That's why I've never listened and followed blindly to what anyone tells me.  

So Happy Labor Day.  Yeah, to my dad and mom who worked hard for many years, just to lose it all.   

I need a drink.

PS:  I know if people in family are reading this, I have just added one more strip of black to my black sheepedness.   

C'est La Vi

Another Round Of "Can Dazee Do It"

Oh the joys of driving back and forth to work.  Hell, I'm even a backseat driver road rager.  Doesn't matter, if I'm on the road, the wrath of Dazee is due to come out.

Anyroadragelater, coming to work this morning the normal go through the light to get to the freeway entrance light was backed up.  After sitting through the light 3 times, I decided a little detour was in order.  Scenic route took us to the next freeway entrance.  Easy peasy, until we got on the freeway and there was nothing but brake lights ahead.  Oh goodie.  I actually said to my daughter-in-law, there better be an accident for this traffic because if it's just because we have brake happy drivers, I'm going to be pissed.  (yeah, no coffee in my system yet, we'll blame it on that)

I was in the slow lane.  I wanted to move over.  Oh yeah, not a good idea.  So I kept looking to see if I had a chance, because we all know, people are soooo nice to let you in.  I see a break in the action, just about the time we get to the accident.  I put my signal on (because I'm courteous like that) and start moving over.  All of the sudden, out of the blue a man and his car come SPEEDING up, honking at me, AND SHAVING WITH HIS ELECTRIC SHAVER.  So he tries to scream into the next lane, the lady in front of me is already moving over to there, and he proceeds to keep shaving and honking at her.  The words coming out of my mouth were very pleasant.  :)

Oh and the accident was icky.  Car hit the cement wall and was pretty smashed up.  So yeah, at least it wasn't just brake happy people.  

The purpose of this post.  Well, I told my D-I-L that I was going to take a poll on my blog to see if you, my dear readers, thought I could go a day without road rage.  Hey, stop laughing.  No really, stop it right now!!!!!!

Here is your chance.  Depending on what the poll result is, I shall do my duty to abide by my peeps.

Can Dazee Go One Day Without Road Rage?
	Of course she can, she rocks like that
	No way in hell. Road rage is her life
	Only if she has duct tape over her mouth
pollcode.com free polls

Let the voting begin.

So How Was Your Weekend?

What an eventful last few days.  But I won't bore you with every single detail.  I'll only bore you with a few.  :)

Yesterday was our grocery shopping day.  We needed to make a return to the Walmart Customer Service Department. 

What you need to know:

We made the mistake of signing up for their Family Mobile Plan.  Don't get me wrong, it's a good plan, if you don't want to use your high tech phone for internet.  

When pulling our phone numbers over from T-Mobile, they didn't pull over Mr. Dazee's number right.  Some fictitious number from some other area code not in our state.

Called the very next day to Family Mobile customer service.  They will refund my activation fee, but not Mr. Dazee's because they never pulled his number.  Need to return it to Walmart and have them refund the activation fee.

Went to customer service.  The 2 workers were really nice, but they couldn't get it to ring up right.  Needed to call a manager to come help.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

She came up, started giving us crap.  If you know me, I WILL NOT back off from anyone.  She turns around looking at their "return policy".  She kind of looked like this

I say, ever so, ummm, shall we say, not nicely.  It's been 2 weeks.  Hasn't been over 90 days.  Well, you can only return the phone, she says.  NO, Beotch, (didn't say that, just thought it), I was told we had to bring back the activation kit to get the refund.  Blah, blah, blah.  Can't be done.  She wouldn't even look at us.  Finally one of the nice boys says, lets got to the mobile center and talk to them.  As she is leaving, a said rather loudly to the other boy, she is not going to get away treating us like we are stupid.  I will not take that.  They finally come back, and give us our 25 dollar refund, and she still doesn't say a word or look at us.  Too bad so sad for her that she had to refund our money.  

This morning on my way to work, there was an idiot driver.  I know, you are so shocked.  To get on the main road, you get in the right turn lane.  Now, sometimes during morning rush hour the straight through lane becomes a right turn lane.  WHEN THE LIGHT CHANGES TO SHOW YOU THAT.  breathing, breathing.

I'm in the right turn lane, stupid lady is in the go straight lane.  The arrow for the right turn lane is green.  I start making my turn, and dumb bunny starts turning too, IN TO MY LANE.  

Manic honking on my part, she speeds up to get away from me.  She was weaving in and out of traffic.  She must have been in a much bigger hurry to get where she was going, than the rest of us.  Yeah, I took her picture.  There she is.  Dumb-dumb-dumb.

One really cute thing I have to tell you about.

This is Miss O.  She has quite the imagination.  Yesterday I had all my kids and grandkids over for dinner.  We had such a good time.  After dinner we were sitting in the family room talking.  The cousins were playing downstairs, outside, wherever the fun was at the moment.  Miss O and Miss A come in to talk to the adults for a minute.  Miss O was dancing around, so her mom says, do you need to go potty.  

No, I'm just frolicking.  

OH MY GOSH, she was frolicking?  Where does a 5 year old come up with this stuff.  

When Automated Phone Systems Go Bad

I can't stand automated phone systems, heretofore to be known as APS.  Honestly, they drive me nuts.  I had the "conversation" from hell last night.  

Dazee:  *fingers dialing customer service number*

APS:  Thank you for calling XYZ company.  

Si usted desea escuchar esta en espanol, pulse numero dos.

(disclaimer, I just went to the english to spanish translator on the internet, don't give me crap if this is wrong)

Dazee:  waiting, waiting.

APS:  Ok, before we get started, tell me the reason you are calling

Dazee:  Customer Service

APS:  I'm sorry, I didn't understand that.

Let's try this again.

You can say, recent history, or press 1

Account balance, or press 2

Add to account, or press 3

Technical support, or press 4

Dazee:  Customer Service please

APS:  I'm sorry, I didn't understand, lets try again,

blah, blah, blah, or blah

Dazee:  REAL PERSON

APS:  I'm sorry, since you won't answer my question, I'm hanging up.

Dazee:  What the %^&*!!!!!!!

Dazee:  *fingers madly dialing phone number*

Repeat process

APS:  I'm sorry, since you won't answer my question, I'm hanging up.

Dazee:  Well you freaking piece of shit garbage, I'm going to hunt you down and hurt you.

Dazee:  *Dialing for the 3rd time, ready for a fight*

APS:  blah, blah, blah

Dazee:  *pushing number 3*  (just because, don't judge)

APS:  Ok, so you want to know who shot the sheriff, press 1 for yes and 2 for no.

Dazee:  *presses 2*

Going through the process yet again.

APS:  I'm sorry, since I couldn't help you, I will forward you to a real, live, breathing body, and if you are lucky it will be a voice you can understand.

Dazee:  About freaking time, you rat.

APS:  This call may be monitored for security or training purposes.

Dazee:  Good, cuz I'm super pissed and I'm going to hurt someone.

Real Live Person:  Blah, blah, blah.  

Dazee:  I can't get this to do that

RLP:  Let's do this and this.  Is that working?

Dazee:  Yes, thank you.  Can I make a complaint while I'm on the phone:

RLP:  Of course.

Dazee:  Your automated phone system is a piece of shit garbage and wouldn't let me tell it, Customer Service, Real Person, Give me a real freaking person now (yes, I said that once, but not the nice "freaking" word)

And then, APS told me that since I WOULDN'T ANSWER HER QUESTION, SHE WAS HANGING UP.  Twice!!!!!

RLP:  We just barely changed to a new automated phone system this week.  (just my luck)  I've been getting complaints all week about this problem.  We are trying to get technical support to take care of it as fast as possible.  

Dazee:  Well, that's good, because I was about to cause major mayhem.

Really, if you have to have those aggravating piece of crap phones systems, have a freaking option that says,

IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO TALK TO A REAL LIVE BREATHING BODY, PLEASE PRESS ZERO

Going to my happy place

Aaaaaaahhhhhhh

Some Old Men Drive Me Nutsoide



These are two of the old men that I work with.  Ok, not exactly them, but go with me here. 

I am positive that there is some kind of old man club, kind of like the boy scouts, called the old men freaks.  I'm sure they even have a freaking motto.

On my honor

I will try

To bug people to death

And be all weird

From this time forward

Until death do us part

And obey the oath of the weird.

Breathing, breathing.

And what's with this whole, raise your voice a higher octave to talk weird when you are talking to women?   Or saying stupid dumb crap?   I could care less that you found toe jam this morning.  You're gross.  Oh, and there is candy in my office for everyone.  If you ask me one more time why YOU don't have self control, I'm going to beat you up.  This statement is getting old, "but Dazee, I love chocolate, you shouldn't do this to me".   Dude, you are the last person I buy the candy for.  I myself  have self control.  It's in my office.  I don't eat it all day.  Get out of my office NOW!!!!!!!

Honestly, I'm going to shove a sock in your mouth soon, and it's not going to be a pretty sight.   (of course, I will be laughing hysterically)

Then, you get 2 of these geisers together, and its a freakfest.  I'm smarter than you are.  No you aren't, I know more about sports than you do.  But my team is better.  No, mine is. 

 S.H.U.T....U.P......!!!!!

Where's my cap gun?

And She Called ME Unprofessional

Sigh.  You know when you are working away, and you are so happy to be at work (you are, right?), and the phone rings so you pick it up. 

Well, that was my day yesterday.  The following is the fine and outstanding conversation between Pleasant Dazee (PD) vs State Of Utah Employee (SOUE) 

PD:  XYZ Company (didn't you just hear the sarcasm oozing)

SOUE:  May I speak to Joe Blow (not his real name)

PD:  We have no one here by that name.....waiting......waiting......alrighty then hang up.

Ring, Ring.

PD:  XYZ Company.

SOUE:  Is this a business? (think and hear, Kathy Bates, Misery, saying Mr. Man)

PD:  Yes.

SOUE:  Well (huff, huff), I can not believe that a BUSINESS would hang up on me.  I work for the State of Utah!

PD:  Blink, blink.  (and I care because?)

SOUE:  May I please speak to a manager.

PD:  (smiling uncontrollably) I'm a manager. (silent raspberry)

SOUE:  Well, (huff, huff), I can't believe a MANAGER would hang up on me! 

PD:  What is it you need? (starting to get my panties in a wad)

SOUE:  Well, could I have someone in HR then, anyone but YOU. 

PD:  Well, I'm HR so WHAT IS IT YOU NEED? (Silently laughing my butt off cuz she still needs to talk to ME)

SOUE:  Did Joe Blow EVER work there?

sidebar:  if she wanted that information in the first place, the first time she called, before I hung up on her butt, the PROFESSIONAL way to have asked would be.  May I please talk to someone to verify employment?  Just sayin'.

PD:  Well, yeah, about 3 years ago.

SOUE:  (still bitter) Do you have any paperwork on him?

PD: (No lady, I don't keep crap like that, duh) Yes, please hold while I go get his file.

..................... holding ..................... telling co-workers what a B she is .................. looking for paperwork...............she's still holding..............Did I mention we don't have music on hold.....  :) ..........

PD:   Was that Joe Blow or Joe Blue?

SOUE:  (spitting fire at me)  Blow

PD:  What is it you would like to know.

SOUE:  A date of last employed.

PD:  That would be blah, blah, blah, 2008.

SOUE:  Do you know where he went?

PD:  (rolling eyes).  NO (and furthermore, do I care)

SOUE:  Was he fired?

PD:  Yes.  Last I heard he had moved to California.

SOUE:  Ok, Bye.

Ok, bye.  WTH?  You just ruined my afternoon, made me want to hit you, and all you can say is ok, bye?  

Oh well, such is life.

On a lighter note, only 10 more months till Christmas Day. :)

I Have A Surprise

Hey, guess what?  No really, guess what?  Have you guessed yet?  Guess what happened last night?  Give up? 

It Snowed!!!!

I know, you are shocked.  Me too.  Cuz we sure haven't had enough of it this winter.  The good news is, I could see the cracks in the sidewalk.  What?  Lately we have gotten at last 6 inches at a time (that's what she said), so seeing the cracks was a welcome thing to my eyes.  I know, it surely doesn't take much. 

I'm going to make one of these. 

Maybe mother nature will get the hint.

Men At Work - Not The Group

While driving home from work last night, I was forced to listen to the local news radio because, well, I hate listening to the music stations anymore and the station I listen to in the morning, has alternative music after my radio from hell show,  and after a long, hard, frustrating day at work, I'm not needing that kind of music in my life.    

The afternoon guy drives me freaking crazy.  With all his umms and umms and umms.  First of all, dude, you are on radio, you are reading crap off of a computer or paper.  I'm not sure, I don't work in radio.  If I were to read say, my blog aloud, I would just be reading it.  Wouldn't need to add any umms.  Its the freaking news. But I'm not just going to pick on the radio dude.  News anchors have a problem reading the teleprompter too.  And if the teleprompter all of the sudden has a freak out, they are all lost.  Honestly people, I "listen" to you and can remember the story you are talking about.  You start to panic, fumbling through papers.  "And then, ummm, the killer, ummmm, ran", papers shuffling like crazy.  I want to scream to them.  "He ran through the backyard, hid in the shed and the police got him".  How hard was that dude?  Not very.  It also makes me wonder if these news people have a hard time having a conversation at their dinner tables.  "Susie, ummmm, shuffle, shuffle, how was, ummm, now where was it you were at today, oh yeah, school".  Just sayin. Speaking of men at work.  Yesterday I wasn't feeling all that hot.  Think I might be trying to catch the blasted cold that my grandkids have.  But, I am woman, hear me roar.  Off to work I go.  Get there and one of my co-workers is "sick".  *said with whiny voice*.  Oh poor baby, I'm thinking to myself.  All day long, he kept coming into my office, begging me with his sad eye looks to ask him how he was feeling.  I wasn't in the mood to play nice.  So I ignored him.  Not ignored, like not talking to him at all, but I never once asked, "how you feeling you big baby".  Men, I love you.  I promise.  But dang, when you are sick you are the biggest whiners around.  Except for my hubby, whom I have to say is awesome when he is sick.  He doesn't complain.  I will baby him.  He deserves it.   I found this video on youtube, and honestly, it is so true.  Now remember all my male followers.  I love men, just try to be big boys when you are sick.  mmk.  Thanks

What A Sham

Here's the thing.  I love to enter the giveaways that some of you are lucky enough to do.  I always believed I would have a chance of winning.  But today, I have decided I'm not entering any more of these shams.  I'm sure that most of you are legitimate.  And I might just loose followers over this post, but damn, when you are having a giveaway during Christmas which equaled 40 giveaways, and one of the enterers won 27.5% of the giveaways (11 to be exact), another won 12.5% (5), and another won 10% (4)  something doesn't seem right in Denmark. I decided to look up the word Sham on Dictionary.com SHAM   –noun  1. something that is not what it purports to be; a spurious imitation; fraud or hoax.  check 2. a person who shams; shammer.  check 3. a cover or the like for giving a thing a different outward appearance: a pillow sham.  in a way check
 –adjective  4. pretended; counterfeit; feigned: sham attacks; a sham Gothic façade.  check 5. designed, made, or used as a sham.  check
 –verb (used with object)  6. to produce an imitation of.  check 7. to assume the appearance of; pretend to have: to sham illness.  check
 –verb (used without object)  8. to make a false show of something; pretend. check, double check, triple check Am I jealous?  Yes, but it would be understandable if there were 40 different winners.  And yes, I did the unfollow button.  She won't miss me with over 900 followers.  Just sayin. 

Shipping & Handling......Oh No She Didn't!!!!!!

 

Dear fellow bloggers,

As you know, I am at the age when I just don't let companies get away with crap.  Remember the email I sent to the Radio Station , yeah, never heard back from them.  The scardy pants.  They just don't know what to say to the truth.

As you can tell from the picture.  I love me some Hills Brothers White Chocolate Carmel Cappuccino.  The problem is, not every store carries that flavor.  Not even Walmart, and they carry freaking everything.  They have all the other flavors.  Makes me a little bit mad. 

About 3 months ago, I sent off an email to Hills Brothers stating that it would be nice to see it on the shelves in more stores.  Their response was the ever loving, we are sorry, but you can always buy it online.

Yesterday, I decided.  Ok rat bastards, you aren't going to have it on the shelves, I'll order it online.  You have to buy a box of 6 online.  No problem.  I'll use it all in about 6 months.  Go through all the steps, get to the page that they tell you how much it is going to cost.  $18.36 or something of that sort for the box.  Awesome, that makes it cheaper than I can buy it in the store. 

Oh, but wait, here is your S&H charge.  $17.83.  WTH.  Seventeen freaking dollars for shipping and handling.  I think not.  They can take their cappuccino and put it back on the shelf, thank you very much.  I proceed to send off an email to Hills Brothers, because that's how I roll.  Tell them that I know for a fact that they are ripping off their customers.  I do the UPS labels at work  for items that weigh a whole bunch more, and there is no way it comes to that much.  I also pointed out that HANDLING CHARGES are bogus.  Their employees are already pulling items for shipments, it's not some freaking special request. 

Today, I get a reply from one of the customer service reps at Massimo Zanetti Beverage.  Here is the email that I found in my inbox this morning.

Thank you for taking the time to contact Massimo Zanetti Beverage Company.

To answer your question regarding shipping charges, our coffees/cappuccinos are shipping from the east coast; therefore, it's a great distance to ship to UT. Further, I would like to share this information to you:

How much is your shipping? We use UPS Real Time. Shipping charges vary depending on weight and where it is being shipped to. The store will provide you with the shipping and handling charges prior to entering your credit card information. Massimo Zanetti does not control the shipping charges; if interested, you might see if you can save on shipping charges if you order more than one case.

With the few things I have personally shipped over the past year, I must say I've noticed a large increase in shipping charges.

Again, thank you for contacting Massimo Zanetti Beverage; we greatly appreciate your comments and concerns.

Signed
*******
Consumer Response Center

What the?

Oh no she didn't!!!!!

In all fairness, I will post the reply I sent off this morning.

I ship things to the east coast also, and I can guarantee you that as much weight as a box of 6 items of your product is, does not justify what you are charging. And the fact of HANDLING. Your employees are handling product all day long. We don't charge for the handling to ship out our product.

The fact is, if you want to SELL the product, YOUR REPS should be pushing it to be on the shelves. I have reps calling on me all day to bring in this new product. So it's not like you are just talking to someone that doesn't understand how selling, shipping and handling works.

And no, I will not order more than one box of 6 just to save money and put more poundage on the shipping. Go ahead and keep ripping off those people that don't care. I will just buy the coffee mate creamer that I bought this weekend to go in my coffee. Yeah, it is a white chocolate carmel flavor. Imagine that, they must have good reps pushing their items.

Thanks, but no thanks. I was addicted to your stuff, but I'm not going to buy it if I can't just pick it up at my local Walmart, Smiths, Kroger, Albertsons, etc, etc. CUZ IT'S NOT THERE.

Sincerely,
A Very Pissed Off Dazee 
ok, I didn't put that, but I should have :)

I know that some of you are going to say that I went to far.  I just had to do it to make myself feel better.  I tried to play their game, but I'm just not going to be ripped off.  I will pay the freight.  I understand that.  I also know that some companies will add a couple of dollars onto a freight charge.  That is wrong.  Just don't freaking rip me off on it all, or tell me to buy more than I want to. 

Breathing, Breathing

How Radio Can Ruin A Song

Once upon a time, I sent an email to my favorite radio morning show.  Shocked, aren't you.  What, you're not?  You know me too well.  I ever so nicely asked them why they played the same songs over and over and over, also mentioning that apparently the winners of American Idol must be their perceived listeners "favorite artists".  I did receive a nice email back from Erin.  So at least my email wasn't ignored.  According to my cute musical genius hubby who answered my oldie song question here on this post, the announcers don't decide what to play.  I was hoping in my obvious despair that said announcers would maybe let their music programmer dude in on the email.  Apparently they don't talk to each other. 

So, being the ever so prompt getting to work person that I am, I leave my home at 6:10 am every morning.  My favorite morning show people do a little bit in the morning where they play a snippet from a movie and you have to know who the actor is and what movie it comes from.  I love this part of the show.  Anysamemusic, each and every freaking day after the lucky winner wins, they play the same songs.  Did I mention, E.V.E.R.Y...S.I.N.G.L.E...D.A.Y.   mmmk, just wanted to make sure you saw that. 

The following 2 music video's are 2 of a few songs that are ALWAYS played after said "know your movie" segment.  They are now ruined to me for life.  Did you hear that Todd and Erin, FOR LIFE.  I mute my radio when they come on.  I can't stand to hear them anymore!

Take a gander, my little chick-a-dee's, I'll be muting while you listen. 

And now this one

Dear Todd and Erin.  Don't be upset with me.  Please....just....stop....playing....these....songs.   Thank you, thank you very much
 And yes, I will be emailing the link to this post to those mentioned above.  Will keep you posted.