I'm back. Took a little break last week from speaking my mind. I know you all were worried. I'm fine. I just didn't have any fracking problems to discuss. What? Why are you laughing uncontrollably?
Lets get this thing started, shall we.
Dear Dude Sitting Behind Me At Red Lobster On Sunday
No, I'm nowhere in this crowd. This was on google.
You were extremely loud while talking to your family. I use the term talking loosely. You were actually speaking loudly and not saying very nice things to your kids. Please remember where you are in the future. You were not in an outdoor park. Or McDonalds. You were in a nicer place. I appreciate that you want your kids to do well in school. I don't appreciate you telling them off about their grades and skipping school, and how they will not become anything good in life. Yes, I heard e.v.e.r.y.f.r.a.c.k.i.n.g.w.o.r.d of mean things that sprouted out of your mouth, even tho you were sitting a bench and table behind me. I was embarrassed for your kids. You are very, very lucky that Mr. Dazee restrained me from turning around, snapping your picture, and telling you off.
Now, for your viewing pleasure, another fine drawing from yours truly. Yes, I pretty much suck at Draw Something, but hey, I try.
Dear Body Builder Dude In The Grocery Store Parking Lot
Listen, I understand that your muscles are probably tired from lifting weights all day. You had two whole bags of groceries to put in your car. YOUR CAR WAS RIGHT NEXT TO THE CART RETURN. I was across the way and down a few cars and still made the journey to put my cart in the return. I truly did not appreciate you putting your cart at the end of the return, facing the way in the drawing, and then getting in your car. I had to move your cart for you just to get my cart in because the other side was blocked off for carts coming in from the other side. I shouldn't have moved it. I should have parked my cart right behind your sweet a.. car. I would have laughed hysterically either watching you have to get out to move it, or backing out into both carts.
By the way. I asked Mr. Dazee if he thought I could take you. He said I would have been the winner. Oh Yeah.
Dear El Fatto Matto
You are becoming a frequent visitor to my dream world. Please cess and desist doing so. Every time I get a rejection letter from a company that I have applied to, or had a bad interview, there you are, coming into my subconscious world and firing me again. I'm tired of it. You are the biggest rat bastard around. I'm sorry I can't be nice, but you have played a number on my soul. Especially when learning that you STILL keep a drug addict who leaves work and comes back high around, because he is "valuable", but I HATED MY JOB, so I'm fired. I was a valuable employee. Every interview I have had has told me I have great skills and personality. But, because someone tells you I hate my job, (not true) which believe it or not, a lot of people don't love their jobs every day of their lives, I'm fired.
PS: I know some of you are thinking I just need to get over it. I've been without a job for 9 months. I could have grown a baby and delivered by now. I'm trying to get over it. But I tell you what. Whoever decides that I am the employee for them is going to get the best darn employee they have ever had. So put that in your pipe and smoke it.
Phew, I must have had some built up anger over that one.
So, how was your week?