Monday, May 6, 2013

Are You Your Own Person.......Or Are You A Follower

Never fear, I am still alive and well.  As I left you last time, I was in the ER.  I haven't seen a specialist yet, because, well, I have no insurance, and I have to get spa-cial permission to see one.  Hip Hip Hooray for the U.S. of A.

But alas, I am not going to talk about that today. 

I am going to talk about friendship.  

There are different kinds of friends. 

 Those that will be by your side, no matter what, through thick and thin.  

Those that are fair weather friends.  When times get bad, they are gone-zo.  

Then there are those that "pretend" to be your friend, all the while just waiting for the exact moment that they will stab you in the back.
But even worse are those friends that will not stand up and be their own person.  

"Gosh, if so and so finds out that I'm still your friend, he/she will treat me just the same as they are treating you".

I will be accused for defriending people on facebook, because of one person.  It is true.  I did.  Only because I know how this person is.  And the "followers" that will report back.  Why?  Because they are afraid that if they don't, they will fall over the side of the same boat.  I was sucked into a world of make believe.  

A true friend, does not say things to your face, and then turn around and tell everyone else how they really feel.  "I can't believe that this person is with this person".  "This person is a harlot".  "This person is a drunk".  Really?  Take a good look at yourself in the mirror. 

I am not perfect.  I want true friends.  I don't play in the high school years like a lot of people.  

Yes, I have hidden the last 6 months.  The real me got upset.  I lost my mojo.  I was afraid of the witch.  Not anymore.  My true friends know how I really am.  My fake friends, go to the place of the one that will ruin your life.  

Yes, I truly do have 3 sides.

1.  The quiet, sweet side.  
I will sit back, see how things are, and go from there.  

2.  The fun and crazy side.
My true friends have seen this side.  We laugh and giggle and just enjoy being together.  

3.  The side you never want to see.
I promise you, if you were to see this side, you would not come out in very good shape.  I have been know to have someone pulled out of a class, and read the riot act in front of said class.  I, unlike you, will tell you once, and then forever never talk to you again.  I will not ever talk about you behind your back.  I won't waste my time with you.  You are not worth it.  You are a sorry excuse of a human being.

I'm searching for my mojo.  I want to get back to being my weird self.  Finding the funny in things around me.  

All I can hope is, be your own person.  Don't let one person tell you how you have to be, for fear that you will become the next victim.   Because I promise you, IT WILL HAPPEN. When you least expect it.  


  1. I'm sorry, Dazee. It's hard when people are two-faced, especially when they're supposed to be your friend. If you find your mojo, will you look and see if mine is with it? I lost mine a long time ago and I'm still trying to find it.

  2. Okay, you're gonna hate this: I'm gonna tell you how to be. Be writing on this blog, that's how. I've missed you.

    Remember, a good life is the best revenge. Pretend those witches died and keep moving forward, keep being happy. Don't give them all your power - take it back! You're worth it!

  3. Yes! What Kim and Baby Sister said. Living well IS the best revenge. And I'm sure your mojo is somewhere in your purse...because you know how purses are always eating things up and you can never find anything in there. I'm really sure your mojo is in your purse.

    1. Great words of advice, Pam! And you made me chuckle.

  4. Oh, I like your blog re-design.

  5. You're a very brave woman! 1) I don't FOLLOW anyone... and anyone who knows me could tell you I'm not afraid to tell my own mother I disagree with her. 2) I guarantee if your third personality gets brazen enough to tangle with my third personality... you'll LOSE. And 3) You opened this can of worms after all these months? Welcome back to blog world... the question is, do you have the guts to leave my comment up this time, or will you just delete it like you did when you deleted me from your friends list for no reason other than the fact that I was born?

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  7. Seriously? *scratches head* How long ago was this?


  9. Well, I don't really know how to respond. First of all, if we allow people to affect us so much that we close up and stop living, we have done that to OURSELVES. It isn't "other" people's fault. It's our own. People have disagreed with me or even attacked me on my blog for one reason or another. I get over it. I am sure most don't remember a person named "Ann" who really got my goat during my divorce period (great depression). Some of my blog friends stood up for me, even fought for me, and that was an honor. Other times, when I was one was there to defend me. Why? Because I was wrong. I looked at myself and realized I said some things publically that put me in the wrong. Now, I have said some things that are not the NORM, and deal with the outbursts. But when I was wrong, I took my lumps and realized it. Am I saying you are wrong? No. Everyone has their own feelings and you are entitled to feel the way you do. What I am saying is you have to let some things go, figure out why people reacted the way they did, and move on. Some people are going to call out people and some people are going to ignore obvious because they don't waste their time with those things. Some people debate for the fun of it. Blog wars are just hateful. They make me sad and bring the worst of us out. Words can hurt someone more than anything which time and time again, we don't understand why, but it happens. Choosing our words wisely is the best thing we can do. We all make mistakes. Get over them and move on. I have friends who are friends with people I don't care for, and I'm OK with that. I have friends that some people may not like. I don't always agree with my friends. It's OK. That's the beauty of it. The world is diverse. Embrace life, embrace the friends you do have. Let everything else roll off your back. I know I sound like a fucking Hallmark card...but the world doesn't need any more hate and anymore hurt feelings, and calling people out after so long isn't going to help you or make it better with the ones who are upset at you. It just drives a thorn in deeper. We all have to suck it up when someone gets mad at us, hates us, or stops being our friend. And move on.

    Ok. That was my neutral view. Take it or leave it, I guess. Live life and enjoy who you are. Learn from mistakes and charge forward.

  10. You know what? Your comment doesn't cut it. I'd honestly forgotten this disagreement (because I wasn't involved) but it's no excuse for the Holocaust you pulled on your friends! Actually, it makes it that much more unbelievable.

    I'm not sure which phone call, but if it's the one about the interview where she'd told everyone 'no calls please', I think I'd be ticked too. But that's between the two of you. What you did in the aftermath was the biggest act of 'fair-weather friendship' I've seen in a long time. Then to come back with your insults and 'poor me' story?

    WHY? What exactly is your end-game? If you're just trying to start drama in your life, whatever! But if you think I'll just sit quietly while you spin some tale about being a victim after you cut yourself off from your friends, you'd be wrong.

    You've had six months to think about this. I highly suggest you take a little bit more 'me time' and decide exactly how you will let yourself be defined. Right now, you look like a petty child who's mad her doll got dirty. Short of calling you out on my personal blog for your actions, I've never done anything to you.

    I don't want to waste my time in a 'blog war' but I won't tolerate lies either. Get yourself together and move on with life for the sake of everyone involved.

  11. Sunshine...If you aren't trying to put yourself in a "blog war", then don't join this conversation.

    Momma Fargo is right. Letting others dictate your life only keeps you down. True friends like you are hard to find. Those of us who know you think you're awesome.

  12. Sunshine...If you aren't trying to put yourself in a "blog war", then don't join this conversation.

    Momma Fargo is right. Letting others dictate your life only keeps you down. True friends like you are hard to find. Those of us who know you think you're awesome.

    1. I have more right to be in the conversation than you... but that oversight aside...

      I don't have to be silent when someone drags the people I care about through the mud over and over again. I get to speak up and tell her she's wrong. It is my right, but more importantly it is morally right.

      I've always been strong spoken and I speak up when I don't like something. It's one of my more noble (and fallible) traits. What Dazee is doing is no different than what little girls do all through their adolescence. I could be a good little sheep that turns the other cheek and BAAA's like the rest of the flock. Or I can speak up and say, "what is wrong with this?" I choose the latter because that is the example I wish to set for myself, my daughter, and for other people (there are too many flipping sheep in this world).

      That's not starting a blog war, that's simply speaking out. If I wanted a blog war I'd use more colorful language and tell her how I really feel instead of recommending she really think about the topic and decide how she will let herself be defined.

    2. What I find both interesting and revolting at the same time is your need to demean other women. Men have used that "c" word for the humiliation and denegration of women for hundreds of years. For a woman to use that vile word against another is appalling to me.

      It indicates that you did not have good female role models when in your formative years. It has exacerbated your low self esteem and you're only able to relieve your angst by lashing out at others. Your inability to let someone else vent by stalking them is an excellent example of your unhappinesd.

      I truly hope you can find some peace in your life at some point. We all need to appreciate what we have and not focus on the negative aspects of life. Good luck.

    3. What I find both interesting and revolting at the same time is your ability to let one four-letter word negate any sense and logic that might have been derived from what I had to say. Personally I find the word illiterate far more offensive. Of course cunt is only a feminine word in the U.S.

      Please let me reassure you, my vulgarity is not an indication of low self-esteem or poor role models. It is a product of progressive parents who did not believe in censorship. Words are only as powerful as their intent. I could have used any word I liked to convey the exact same message in a more politically correct manner, and yet it would have been "the difference between the right word and the almost right word" (to quote Mark Twain). Illiterate queynte just doesn't have the impact I was trying to convey!

      I know the purpose behind my words. I wanted an answer as to why someone I had never wronged chose to wipe me out of their life and yet continues to dwell on the 'loss of friendship' that resulted from the incident. What exactly is YOUR purpose in this conversation?

      It all seems very silly and pointless to me, but what do I know? I'm just a foul-mouthed, cheeky bastard whose alliteration loses its connotation because my articulation is too primal for your personal approval.

    4. Vulgarity does not enhance a conversation. By using it on another's blog shows your lack of respect for others. The fact that you feel the need to continue to stalk a blog by someone who unfriended you shows you do not handle rejection Well and you blame others for bad things that happen in your life.

      There is a difference between no censorship and not teaching boundaries. Being allowed to voice one's feelings or opinions is a powerful thing. Not teaching WHEN it is appropriate to use decorum and NOT vulgarity is a failure of your parents to prepare you for life.

      Why do you care what Dazee says on her blog? Is it because you do not understand boundaries? Is it because you do not have a "stop" button? I really do feel sorry for you. You must be extremely miserable and unhappy.

    5. Shakespeare, Chaucer and DH Lawrence would all beg to argue with you about the value of profanity. I simply do not see the same words as being vulgar as you do. To me words like "hopeless", "stupid", "ret*rd", and "f*gg*t" are far more offensive than anything you'll see on my blog.

      It's pretty obvious to me we are referencing different dictionaries because visiting a blog once in 6 months (or for that matter, checking on the status of this stimulating conversation) does not constitute stalking.

      We also differ in what exactly a blog is. You see for me, it's a place of entertainment (for myself, not necessarily you). This is not a church, business, court house, school, or my place of employment. This is an imaginary world where I'm an aspiring dictator, my mother is a Queen, my aunt is a pot-head and my sisters are hookers. If that isn't a place for appropriate vulgarity, I don't know what is. You could argue 'that isn't the world on THIS blog' but it was for two-years so excuse me if I'm suddenly not used to the vulgarity police strutting around.

      Also, inferring that a stranger doesn't handle rejection, has a bad life, was raised by bad parents, and is miserable and unhappy based on your stereotype of people who use profanity isn't really what I consider 'good decorum'. If I didn't know better, I'd think you were trying to goad me into a real argument when I'm so happily enjoying the friendly banter we've established.

      Please don't be concerned about my happiness or well-being. I'm actually quiet satisfied and am only giving this topic the time of day for my own intellectual amusement. Wait! Has healthy debate become a faux pas in this decade? I certainly hope not, I'm going to lose some good friends if that's the case.

      Frankly, I find this whole conversation almost as amusing as a theological debate. If you would simply stop making false assumptions about my own self-worth, I might even consider it an intellectual challenge. If you knew me in real life you would see why this whole thing is so very laughable and entertaining to me.

      One unsolicited piece of advice: don't go into the banking business, you're a horrible judge of character. You'd do well as a defense attorney though.

  13. It never ceases to amaze me how small minded people like you are.You are a vile person

    1. So let me get this straight. You think I'm vile (aka. morally despicable and of little worth) based on the fact that I have an opinion that differs from yours and you dislike my unrefined vocabulary? You wouldn't happen to be a member of the Westboro Baptist Church would you?

      I have been accused of many things but being small-minded (aka. bigoted, prejudice, and illiberal) isn't among them.

      And somehow because you avoided common vulgarity to express your distaste, you're a better person than me? Kudos for climbing up a few rungs on the ladder of hypocrisy.

  14. Replies
    1. Well, there's something we agree on. I've been laughing about this for almost 48 hours now. If nothing else, it is cheap entertainment.

  15. First of all, Major Sunshine is the most open minded person I have ever talked to. Anyone who has talked with her will know this.

    Second of all, I don't know you Mad Mind, but I find it laughable that you are the one defending all of this. Especially since this is a post about whether you are a follower or a leader.

    Third, if we really want to get into it, why don't you pay attention to who started the name calling. If you read this post, you will see that people were called "witch" and a "sorry excuse for a human being". Those were not comments that came from Major, but from YOUR so called friend.

  16. Wow! Attacking everyone I see. Both of you need to learn a few things.

    1. I did learn a few things. Not only do I have a Diploma from high school, but I also have several vocational licenses to add to it.

    2. You must need to get a life because all you seem to be able to do is come up with retorts.

  17. Ummm.




    Just kidding.

    I think we can count ourselves lucky if we hand up with a few true, rain and sun friends in the world.

    In the interim, like I learned many years ago, the only best friend that is always true is yourself.

    Which isn't always totally true.

    In my case.

    Especially involving chocolate and/or baked goods.

    But, hey.

    It's a good thought.