Friday, October 11, 2013

Sometimes I Wish My Car Horn Was A Train Horn

If you are like me, you have those days, when there must have been a mass message sent out that read

"All Dumb Drivers Must Drive Today"

In order to clear my brain of such nonsensical drivers, let me tell you about a few that I have had the ULTIMATE PLEASURE of witnessing.  

You find yourself sitting at a red light.  There is only one car in front of you.  The light finally turns green.  Oh goodie, the driver has a "standard" car, aka, you have to shift your own gears.  This is always a scary process anyway.  (as you can tell by some of the contestants on The Amazing Race)  You yell obscenities  kindly at the woman that is driving the car to "GO", or in one of Mr. Dazee's favorites sayings say, "the light is green, it's not going to get any greener, even if you fertilize and water it".   That Mr. Dazee, such a hoot.  You can't understand why she is having such a hard time working the gear shift.  Oh wait, what is that?  Why, she has to take a drag off her cigarette before shifting because it is in her shifting hand.  Yup.  Good thing I didn't say hello to your bumper sister.

You are on the freeway.  There is a pick up truck in front of you.  You are travelling at the posted speed limit of 65.  Ok, you are probably going 70, but whose looking.  Mr. "I'm moving down the road, trying to loosen my load", has left his tailgate down.  This is fine and dandy when there is nothing back there.  But when there is a shovel positioned as shown, and a fish tank, full of water, minus the fish, positioned as shown, it is a scary proposition.  This is the conversation going on in my head.  "Hello, insurance company, yeah, ummm, my car was just hit with a flying fish tank and shovel.  No, I'm not drunk".  Thank goodness he didn't take the same exit that I did!!!

You get a craving for McDonalds.  Admit it, you all do.  You get in line to place your order.  There is a stupid lady in front of you.  She places her order.  She pulls a smidgen forward, not quite far enough for you to get to the speaker.  You hear the fine, lovely, person saying, "welcome to McDonalds, blah blah blah".  You see that the clueless person in front of you has their window open.  You start screaming, "move it lady".  She doesn't move.  You start calling her names.  There is clearly no one in front of her.  The workerbee at McDonalds starts telling you she is sorry, she will be with you in a minute.  When you get to the window to pay, you apologize to her.  She starts laughing and says she totally understands.  
(warning, they can hear everything you are saying in their little headphones when you are at the speakers.  So, ummmm, no naughty talk, wink wink)

We are down to being a one car family.  Our car of choice  is a 1991 GMC Safari Mini van.  We have had it for 25 years.  Hey, it still gets us where we are going.  I am sitting at the light.  Mr. Big Shot Driving A New Lexus Sports Car is in the lane next to me.  The light turns green.  The race is on.  Booyah, 25 year old van wins the Lexus.  Take that Mr. Sunday Driver Dude!!!!

Community mailboxes.  Sometimes they are a pain, but you are less likely to have your mail stolen.  Why is this under the dumb driver category?  I'll tell you why.  Because there are some "I'm the only person in the whole wide world" drivers out there.  They park themselves right in front of the mailbox.  Get out, get their mail, see you driving up, SIT THERE AND GO THROUGH THEIR MAIL, couldn't care less if you would like to get yours, and don't move.  Train Horn............oops, what's that smell.......

Last but certainly not least.  The impatient driver at the 3 way stop.  Rules of "all cars must stop before proceeding".  First person there goes, and so on and so on and so on.  I clearly get there first.  I am halfway thru the intersection.  Car pictured above is sooooo impatient that she pulls out in front of me, barely missing my bumper.  Oooohhhh, you did not just do that missy.  I get as close to her as I can, and give her the finger.  Yeah, I did it........ and I did it the WHOLE time I was following her.  I did find it extremely funny that even tho she was in a big freaking hurry she got behind a big ole dump truck.  Whose the winner now??????

Gotta go now.  I've got places to go and people to honk at......

Wednesday, August 28, 2013

When This...................................

Once upon a time, there was a lowly grocery cart.  We shall call him Stanley.  He was a lovely cart, but was so unhappy that he ran away from home to see if he could make something better out of his life.........

As he was wheeling along, he came to a street corner.  A scary man in a long trench coat yelled out, "hey you, grocery cart, do I have just the thing for you".  

Stanley was intrigued.  He moved closer to the man, when all of the sudden, he was thrown into the back of a van, and whisked away, in the company of other wishful grocery carts.

When next he awoke, he felt different.  The doctor came into the room and asked how he was feeling.  He was told that there had been a horrible accident, and that they had to do some reconstructive surgery.  

Stanley was shocked.  He asked for a mirror to see what they had done.  When he looked at himself in the mirror, he saw

 The doctor began a chilling maniacal laugh.  Bolts of lightning came into the room.  Stanley was so afraid he tried to run.  But his movement was different.

"My name is Doctor Sadist.  I have used my incredible powers to bring pain and suffering upon the sick and afflicted across the land".  

And so began Stanley's new life.  Doctor Sadist had promised many unsuspecting hospitals the cost benefit of his new and improved wheelchair.  In their never ending search for making more profits for their CEO's, the hospitals bought them in droves.   No thought as to how the cold, caged steel would feel upon the weary bodies of those forced required to use them.  

*this is a story by Dazee Dreamer.  no grocery carts where injured in the process of this story*

Tuesday, August 6, 2013

Where The Heck Have I Been???????

I stay away, I come back, I stay away, I come back.  I'm always keeping you guessing.  Finally I have something more exciting than talking about my job hunting to talk about.

As you might have read here, I ended up in the emergency room in March.  FINALLY, I was able to get in to see a specialist.  Lets count on our fingers how long from March 22, to July 29th is.  April....May.....June.....July.  Yup, that would be four fingers err months.  But whatever.

I went to my appointment and he set me up for a liver biopsy.  Now I've heard good things and bad things about these.  Yesterday was the big day.

I am going to discuss a few things that I found out about myself and hospitals.

First, if you get a awesome staff of nurses, your experience is going to be great.  Mine was.  Even Mr. Dazee mentioned how fun they were.  Nurse number one was assigned to get my IV started.  I happened to mention to him that they usually have a really hard time finding veins or whatever it is they stick into.  I also mentioned the ever loving words that they love to hear, 'THEY ALSO ROLL'.  I think I scared him.  He stuck it in the place that he found after almost having to amputate my arm from the tourniquet.  He stuck the needle in, found the vein, and yes, say it with me, the sucker rolled.  He then did the "lets see if I move the needle a smidge this way, or that way, we will catch it again".  No dice.  Call over to Mr. Nurse that will be going into the procedure with me.  

This guy was hilarious.  I noticed that he had a cool tat on his arm with an eye in the middle of it.  I mentioned that I guess it meant he could always keep an eye on his patients.  I then brought up the fact that when I saw the doctor the week before, when he asked where I got my tattoos, he didn't find it funny when I told him "PRISON".  The eye tattoo nurse said, "hey, that's where I got mine too, that and my education".  hahahahaha.  Ok, maybe you had to be there.  But it was funny.  

Anystickmyarmwithaneedle, he brings with him a portable ultrasound machine.  What the heck?   He needed to look into my arm with the machine to find a suitable vein.  He must have used a hulk size needle, because, well, when he finally got that sucker in, I thought I was going straight to the pain ward.  wow.  I wish the other nurse had found my vein.  He wasn't hurting me.

Female nurse describes to me what the procedure is going to be like.  Something about the needle will be about as big around as the ink thingy in a ball point pen.  I will hear a SNAP, and that is when they have taken a piece of the liver.  They will then pull out a piece that looks like a I need to give you a second to swallow the barf?


So, female nurse continues to tell me all about the drugs they will be shooting into my IV.  One if for pain, one is like Valium, one was something else.  All I remember is her saying something about, it has an agent in it that gives you a temporary amnesia.  What the?  Alright then.

Finally it is time to go into the procedure room.  First thing they do is put the icky nose oxygen thing in my nose.  Those things are buggy.  And I'm not talking about the bugs named boogers.  Then they turn on the oxygen.  I thought that was supposed to be kind of cold.  Oh no, it was warm, as in, WHAT THE HECK warm, made me want to sneeze.  Me no likey.  

The doctor comes in.  They get me ready, The next thing I remember is hearing the S.N.A.P.   They take it over to the petri dish and look at it.  I was scared they were going to have to take another piece.  But alas, they got what they needed.  

It wasn't until last night that I thought, wow, that amnesia thingy really worked.  Because I know I was awake throughout it all, but I have no recollection of them sticking the needle in me.  du-du-du-du.

And that my friends, is what is up in my world.  Coming up next week, endoscopy to see if I have any varicies, little enlarged veins in my throat, which will happen if your liver is enlarged.  

I know, everything you wanted to know about the human body but were afraid to ask.

Carry on.

Wednesday, July 3, 2013

Oh What Do You Do In The Summertime?

Oh what do you do in the summertime,
when all the world is green,
Do you lay in the pool to keep yourself cool
Or swing in a tree, up H....I.....G.....H.....
Is this what you do?
So do I,ah,I,ah,Iiiiiiiiii

Aaaahhhh, the sweet memories of being little.  Singing that song at the top of our lungs.  Never really feeling the heat.  
But alas, you get older and feel the heat.  Just sayin'.

So, I thought today we would take a little field trip of sorts.  Summertime fun.  

I love slides.  Except when it is so freaking hot outside that you burn your legs because someone thought that making slides out of metal was such a glorious idea.  NOT.    Here are some really cool slides that I found while looking.

(Dazee, Dazee)  Look, this one is just calling my name.  

Where oh where were play areas like this when I was growing up???? 

I want to get a job at this place.  (Heck, I just want a job) 

This one is by the doctors office that I take my mom to.  Really, Mr. Dazee has got to do this at the next house we buy.

OK, on to the pools.

Yeah, me likey

Do you think Mr. Dazee would be up for doing this landscape design?
(minus the tennis court, honey, I do I have my limits)

Second Honeymoon, hint hint 

Dreaming time is over, here is our idea of summer fun.  Slide and pool all in one.  

I must now go put on as few as clothes as possible.  
They are saying about 105 today, cooling down to maybe 97 tomorrow.  Hahahaha, cooling down.  Good one weather people, good one.

Friday, June 14, 2013

So, What Do You See

Once upon a time, in a doctors office not so far away
An x-ray was taken

Being that I was allowed in the room to speak to the surgeon
(ok, I don't need permission, I was just in there)
An x-ray was brought up on the computer screen.

(Um, ouch, look at all that hardware, but I digress)

The surgeon and his very yummy fine looking assistant
explained what the procedure that was to happen the next day would entail

While staring at the x-ray, my eyes were caught on the
strange creature on the screen
My cousin April and I, being the wild and crazy kind of gals that we are

The surgeon left the room, but McDreamy stayed in to answer any more questions
I asked him to "Name that Creature"

Oh doctors, they get so used to seeing x-rays
they don't even notice anything 
Finally,  he saw the creature, and said
"I would have never seen that"
Well, in truth, he didn't say that, it was more like
Dazee:  What is this?
McDreamy:  That's gas
Dazee & April:  What the???? You don't see a creature?

He did see it and played along with our game

And now, being the kindhearted soul that I am
I'm inviting you to play along

Go ahead


(Just don't tell my mom I told you all it was gas, she might disown me)

Tuesday, May 28, 2013

I Went To The Toyota Dealership And All I Got Was A Dang Coffee Mug

So, how was your holiday weekend?  Mine was loads for fun.  My cousin April is in town for a couple of weeks, and I promise we have planned some great field trips for your reading adventure.  

But first.  I must discuss with you my trip to the local Toyota Dealership last Wednesday.  

You know how you and your significant other are sitting there at night, just watching the local news, and they flash a little sign thing that says, "TEXT SUCH AND SUCH NUMBER WITH THE MESSAGE SO AND SO, TO WIN THIS OR THAT"?  First of all, you are frantically trying to remember the 5 digit number they flashed to text them to.  Come on, get with the program Dazee.

What was the text and who was it to?  It was to the local Fox TV station, Fox 13, and they were giving away a Toyota RAV4.  I entered it, thinking to myself, well that was a waste of time, but what the heck, if you don't try, you won't win.  Much to my amazement, I got a phone call from the station the following week telling me that I was one of the lucky 40 that had been selected to go to the dealership to see if I could win it.  After picking my jaw up off the floor, I gave her my email address so she could send me the rules and regulations.

But wait, out of those 40, they would draw out 27 numbers, and you didn't even get to try  to win the car.  You were just out.  Dang, the pressure.  

When it was sign in time, I was assigned number 10.  I wore my number proudly.  My number was not called.  I started hyperventilating.  I was going to be one of the lucky 13 that got to draw a key and see if it set off the alarm.  

Sidebar:  This is especially a car I would like to win, because we are selling my car because of the job situation for the money, so another car would come in handy. 

It was my turn to be on live TV.  I get really nervous and silly when I'm uncomfortable.  I recorded the news that morning in case I was one of the lucky ones.  It was my turn to choose a key, walk up to the RAV4, and push the panic button.

(I took these pictures off of my TV, so sorry about the quality)

Pushing the panic button

As you can tell, the alarm did not sound

The camera man thought that I was a good person to keep the camera on.
Me walking away 

Continuing to walk, camera man in tow

Me getting my wonderful parting gift.

It was fun, but I was super sad I didn't win.  But April, Mr Dazee, my daughter and her kids got a tremendous kick out of my pouty lip.  

I did try to get one of the office chairs out of the manager of the dealership.  They were freaking comfortable.  I was working it people.  He of course was having nothing to do with it.  I was like, oh come on, what's another 100 dollar chair, you just gave away an expensive car.  The jerk.  I even mentioned the word, 'FREE ADVERTISING' on my blog.  Too bad so sad, he ain't getting it now.

Wednesday, May 22, 2013

The Revolving Hospital Door - A Soap Opera

***Cue Soap Opera Music***

Scene One
End of September, 2012.   My brother Jeff is life-flighted to a hospital in Idaho Falls, while vacationing in Yellowstone.  Traveled with my sister up to Idaho to be with him and his wife until he could come home.

***Commercial Break***

Scene Two, Three, Four and Five
Starting at the beginning of December 2012, my mom went in for a hip revision because she fell and broke the hip replacement that was done 2 years earlier.  Got into surgery, was full of infection, didn't put any type of hip back in, closed her up, sent her to a care center for 3 weeks.  Beginning of January 2013, she went in for the revision.  Two weeks later, said revision popped out whilst she was sleeping.  Was sent back to the hospital to have it crammed put back into place, stayed overnight.  Three weeks later, the lovely hip popped out again.  Another round of getting the sucker back into place.  Told that if it pops out again, time for another surgery with a full new hip replacement.  Good times.

***Commercial Break***

Scene 6
February 28, 2013.  Four year old Alyssa, my cousin April's little girl is diagnosed with  diabetes.  I make the frantic trip to Idaho to be with them and help out with the learning of all things diabetes.  Spent 4 days, many hours and shed numerous tears during that stay.

***Commercial Break***

Scene 7
March 22, 2013, I got to visit the local emergency room with a huge bad horrible pain in my right side.  I was diagnosed with cirrhosis of the liver.  And not the kind most people get.  It is called NASH with is for non-alcoholic people, and some people with diabetes, like myself, get this form.  

***Commercial Break***

Scene 8
May 13, 2013.  Get the dreaded phone call before 7 in the AM.  Mom's hip has popped out again.  She will not allow my dad to call 9-1-1 so she calls me.  I have been commissioned to be the ambulance and get her to the hospital.  Not a easy task when said hip is out of it's socket.  Spend the morning in the ER.  Find out her surgeon is out of the country until the week of the 27th.  Yippy-ya-hooey.  His assistant came into the ER and crammed got that baby back in place.  Sent her upstairs to our favorite floor and favorite personnel.  Got fitted with a icky brace to try to keep the hip in place till next week, when she is scheduled for a whole new replacement.  Let the good times roll.

***Commercial Break***

Things I have learned
Get to know the employees at the hospital when you are there.  Be nice to them.  They will be nice back.  They will remember you and treat your mom or loved ones even better.

If you are "under the influence", DO NOT call an ambulance to take you to the hospital.  While in the ER the other day, a person, we will call her a woman, because she was no lady, was brought in 2 rooms away.   She told them she didn't want see a doctor.  She was told, if she is brought in by ambulance or paramedics, she has to be seen.  She got very belligerent.  Even tho I am one of the best at all things sailor swear words, she was outdoing me.  Was calling the doctors and police officers all kinds of nice words that I have never heard before.  I think they finally carted her off to jail for DUI.

When you become my age, all doctors look like they are still in high school.  Get used to it.

But the most important thing, try to keep a positive outlook.  There will be those that will say mean things to you, and say you are not doing a good job.  You can only do so much.  One trip to the hospital in a year is enough for a lot of people.  I have spent the last 7 months in and out of them.  I got tired.  I got upset.  I cried.  But I learned things about all of the people I helped that I might not have if I hadn't had that experience.  

***Roll Credits***
I would like to thank all the doctors, nurses and care givers at the hospitals in

Eastern Idaho Regional Medical Center, Idaho Falls, Idaho
Intermountain Healthcare LDS Hospital, Salt Lake City, Utah
St. Luke's Magic Valley Medical Center,  Twin Falls, Idaho
Intermountain Healthcare Riverton Hospital, Riverton, Utah

I met people at all of these hospitals that I will never forget.  They even put up with my weird sense of humor, and that's saying a ton.

Monday, May 13, 2013

Reality Blog Award

*** Stepping Up To Microphone ***

Ummm, hi.  I would like to thank Joey at Joey's Pad for passing on the Reality Blog Award to one of his favorite people.  Ok, probably just in my mind, but heck, I'll take it.

Of course, he wants to know things about me that could be exciting for you to know about me as well.  

All I can say is, grab your favorite drink, sit down, keep your arms and legs inside, and have fun.

1.  If you could change one thing in your life, what would it be?
Honestly, I wouldn't want to change anything.  Except for maybe learning a little bit earlier in life, that we are given experiences to learn and grow from.  I also believe that we are sometimes given things, say like my diabetes, to someday be able to help others with the same disease.  Of which is the case with my cwason's four year old daughter who was diagnosed with it a couple of months ago.  I was able to help both her and her daughter through the learning process of testing and shooting up.  

2.  If you could repeat any age, which would it be?
When I was a elementary school age kid, grades 4 through 6, we would go out during recess and play Lost In Space.  The TV show was big then.  (this was in the late 60's, give me a break)  We would climb up to the top of the monkey bars,
Sit on the top of them and pretend we were the Robinson family.  Aaahhhh, to go back to those days, just once, would be a little piece of heaven.

3.  What really scares you?
 Terrified.  Scream.  Jump up on chairs, pee myself.  
Yeah.  Did I mention I'm scared of mice?

4.  If you could be someone else for a day, who would you be?
I have no idea why this one keeps popping in my head but I'm just going to put it out there.
Lady Godiva
(not to be confused with lady Gaga)
Yup, there I am, all blond and skinny and riding the horse naked through the streets.  Maybe it's because she didn't care what the world thought.  She was her own person.  But then, I'm not a huge history buff, so I might be wrong about why she did it, but still.  La-de-da, not a care in the world.  

Ok, pull your eyes away from my nakedness........ 
I must now give this award to some people.  A lot of times I don't do that because, well, I want anyone who wants to have the award to have it.  But I'm going to give it to some people today that I think deserve it.

Her blog is all about keeping it real.  Except when she is trying her hardest to make me jealous of the big get togethers around the bonfire.  Not nice Angel, not nice.

She is one of the sweetest people I know.  

She has a sense of humor that gets me every time.  

Kim has a way of letting me know, that I can be the best mom I can be.  The things that she has had to go through in her life, make me wonder if I could ever be as good as her.

There.  Now go check out these ladies.  You will be glad that you did.

Thursday, May 9, 2013

You're So Vain..... I Bet You Think That Post Was About You

Guess What?   It Wasn't you.....Major Sunshine.  Nope,  it had nothing to do with you and your mother.  But heck, I've certainly enjoyed all the awful comments you made to me and my friends.  As I was told, a long time ago, don't talk to me, read me, or follow me.  I haven't.  You bloggers aren't worth my eyesight.  Too bad you can't follow your own rules. 

So in honor of your vainness, I dedicate this song to you and yours.

If you are smart enough, in place of "song", just insert "post"

To all other people that are reading this.  Please enjoy the song. 

Monday, May 6, 2013

Are You Your Own Person.......Or Are You A Follower

Never fear, I am still alive and well.  As I left you last time, I was in the ER.  I haven't seen a specialist yet, because, well, I have no insurance, and I have to get spa-cial permission to see one.  Hip Hip Hooray for the U.S. of A.

But alas, I am not going to talk about that today. 

I am going to talk about friendship.  

There are different kinds of friends. 

 Those that will be by your side, no matter what, through thick and thin.  

Those that are fair weather friends.  When times get bad, they are gone-zo.  

Then there are those that "pretend" to be your friend, all the while just waiting for the exact moment that they will stab you in the back.
But even worse are those friends that will not stand up and be their own person.  

"Gosh, if so and so finds out that I'm still your friend, he/she will treat me just the same as they are treating you".

I will be accused for defriending people on facebook, because of one person.  It is true.  I did.  Only because I know how this person is.  And the "followers" that will report back.  Why?  Because they are afraid that if they don't, they will fall over the side of the same boat.  I was sucked into a world of make believe.  

A true friend, does not say things to your face, and then turn around and tell everyone else how they really feel.  "I can't believe that this person is with this person".  "This person is a harlot".  "This person is a drunk".  Really?  Take a good look at yourself in the mirror. 

I am not perfect.  I want true friends.  I don't play in the high school years like a lot of people.  

Yes, I have hidden the last 6 months.  The real me got upset.  I lost my mojo.  I was afraid of the witch.  Not anymore.  My true friends know how I really am.  My fake friends, go to the place of the one that will ruin your life.  

Yes, I truly do have 3 sides.

1.  The quiet, sweet side.  
I will sit back, see how things are, and go from there.  

2.  The fun and crazy side.
My true friends have seen this side.  We laugh and giggle and just enjoy being together.  

3.  The side you never want to see.
I promise you, if you were to see this side, you would not come out in very good shape.  I have been know to have someone pulled out of a class, and read the riot act in front of said class.  I, unlike you, will tell you once, and then forever never talk to you again.  I will not ever talk about you behind your back.  I won't waste my time with you.  You are not worth it.  You are a sorry excuse of a human being.

I'm searching for my mojo.  I want to get back to being my weird self.  Finding the funny in things around me.  

All I can hope is, be your own person.  Don't let one person tell you how you have to be, for fear that you will become the next victim.   Because I promise you, IT WILL HAPPEN. When you least expect it.  

Monday, April 8, 2013

And Then I Ended Up In The ER

My, what a lovely shot of my feet.

Have you ever been going along fine in your life, take a nap, and then wake up with a pain in your right side like you have trapped gas?  What?  You don't.  Ok, never mind.

I am not one to just go to a doctor.  I figure if it's "trapped gas", it will work itself out sooner or later.  I got said gas on a Tuesday.  Dealt with it,  sometimes it was worse other times it was better.  Friday comes along.  My darling daughter comes to talk to me.  I'm having a bad moment.  She of course is all concerned (gosh, I raised her well), and asks me if I'm ok.  I said I was fine.  Then she says the words I will never in my life forget.....

"I'm going to go tell dad"

Noooooooooooo.   She is pulling the I'm telling dad card on me!!!!!!  What the!!!!  They make me call my doctor, who tells me to "get yourself to the emergency room honey bunny".  Yeah, cuz she is cool like that.

This is where the fun and excitement begins.  Mr Dazee decides that I deserve to be taken to the newest hospital in the city.  They have like 100 emergency rooms.  The problem is, I don't think they have that many doctors.  But I digress.  We get there at 5:30 pm.  They take my name and tell us to wait.  We go into the crowded room and wait, and wait, and wait.  Lady sits down next to us and continues to barf.  Joy.  They finally call my name.  Get me registered and tell us to go sit in the other part of the waiting area.  Another person calls me in and gets all the info, "why are you here", blah, blah, blah.  Sends us back out to the waiting room.  Eight o'clock comes.  We are still sitting in the waiting area.  A nurse comes out and says, it could be another 2 hour wait.  What the......  Mr Dazee calls the hospital, THAT IS CLOSEST TO OUR HOUSE, and is also pretty new.  Much to our surprise, there is no one in the waiting room.  

Needless to say, we go there, I get right in.  We are put into the room, where I'm asked to get rid of my clothes, because, well, I think they just like naked bodies, and we wait.  FINALLY, Doogie Howser, the doctor comes into the room.  He is going to come back and do an ultrasound of my gallbladder.  S.a.w.e.e.t.....  We wait.  

Now, when you are having a pain in the whole right side of your body, and they stick the ultrasound thingy on your body, it hurts.  Damn him.  Finally gets done and says, "well you have some "old" gallstones, but when I push on your gallbladder you don't have pain.  It's in a different area.  We are going to have to send you in for a CT Scan".  I at this time start seeing and hearing the money machine start to cha-ching.  Get all that done, wait for Doogie to come back in and tell us all the results.

I have some issues peeps.  My liver thinks it has been an alcohlic or intravenous drug user.  But alas, having diabetes also causes your liver to think that way.  Apparently, I'm going to need a biopsy to see what is really going on.  Oh, and as Doogie said when he walked in the room, you have a small cyst on your kidney.  Whilst thinking small as in maybe the size of a quarter, he shows us with his hand the a shape like an avacado.  Small my butt.  Even the CT report that we got a copy of from the Radiologist called it a large cyst.  Oh Doogie, you are a silly, silly man.  

So all in all, I guess my daughter "telling" on me was good.  Except now, my family doesn't believe me when I say I'm feeling good.  I get the "what is your pain level" question everyday from each of them.  

I usually don't like people to know what ails me.  But I promised a reason behind the photo.  

Now, I'm on my way to have a word with mother nature.  It was raining, but alas it has now turned to snow.  The witch.

Friday, April 5, 2013

Questions That Really Make You Think

I know, I know.  I've been away much too long.  There is a reason for that, but I will tell you about that later.

While getting caught up on my blog reading, I came across these questions that Joey at Joey's Pad had posted on his blog.  They weren't your normal, what is your favorite color questions, they were ones that really made you think about life.  Thanks for the questions Joey.

Are you proud of your country, if so why and if not why?
I am glad that I live in the United States.  Some things I'm proud of, and others I'm not.  I'm glad that I have the freedom to think and do what I want.  I'm not proud of the fact that others don't think that I have a voice, or because of certain situations, I'm a "lazy, good for nothing" person taking advantage of the government.  I believe that people have the right to own guns, but I don't think that massive assault weapons should be allowed to be sold or owned.  There, I said it.  Hate me if you want.

What have you given back to the world you live in and/or what do you intend to give in your life time?
Wow, this is an intense question.  I would say that I've given people the shoulder they need to cry on, and laughter.  Oh wait, what have I given the world.  I'm but a tiny speck of dust in the world.  I would love to say that I have made a difference to the world, but I haven't.

Are you afraid of death?
I would be lying if I said I wasn't afraid of death.  Most of the time, I'm ok with it, but then  I read things, and it makes me think more and more.  I do believe that there is life after death, and I will be with loved ones again.  I just can't seem to wrap my head around that when we die, we are gone forever.  I guess I'm not making sense here.  With all the billions and billions of people in this world and others, are we just spirits for ever, or is there really reincarnation, where we keep coming back.  If you really sit and think about it, it gets too heavy.

If you were to meet God in real life what would you do?
I would ask why there are so many rotten murderers, child molesters, thieves, abusive men and women, allowed to just keep getting away with their crimes.  I'm over the whole "we will not be given more than we can handle" saying.  You can't tell me that a 2 year old that is being sexually abused is being "tested".  Nope, nada.  Not in my lifetime.

Would you want to make the future not mysterious?
Not necessarily.  I want to look forward to things.  It makes it more exciting.

Will you stand up for banning capital punishment, if not why?
I believe in capital punishment.  I don't believe that someone that has murdered someone, without question, should have 15 years of appeals.  I'm sure their victims appealed for their life, but not for years.  I believe that they should be given one appeal, within, oh maybe 6 months, and then if it doesn't go through, out they go.  I don't want my taxes to go to keep someone in prison for the rest of their life, with 3 meals a day, free college education, and laughing at everyone that they have hurt.

What would you like to be if given a choice - king, an elected ruler or a fascist?
Hmmmm.   I would love to be queen, but only because I would get to be very rich, without having to earn it, and ride around waving at people all day.  I would never be an elected leader.  Everyone thinks they would be so much better than you.  If they are so much better, run for the office and put your money where your mouth is.  Fascist?  No freaking way, by definition of it is,
Extreme right-wing authoritarian, or intolerant views or practice.
In what I can see running rampant around this county, there are too many of these types of people.

Would you like to be like somebody?  If so why and if not why?
Not really.  I'm good with who I am, and what I represent.

Do you think emotions are for weaklings?  If not why?
I do not think that emotions are for weaklings.  If you have them, you are a real person.  If you don't, get out of my face.  Don't be judging me for mine.

What in your opinion is the reason for the misery in the world?
I hate to say it but I think religion plays a lot in the misery of the world.  "my religion is better then your religion".  NO....IT.....ISN'T.....!!!!!  So many political wars going on in the world.  Why?  Aren't we all human?  You can't come through the Gaza Strip because you are not the right religion?  Get over yourselves.  As long as you are doing good and charitable things, who cares what God you believe in, or if you don't believe in a higher power.

If there is another life, what would you want to be, male or female?
Hmmmm, interesting question.  I think I would still want to be a female.  There is nothing like feeling a little human being doing flip flops in your belly.  Or being able to cry during a sad movie, jumping up and down for joy when you hear exciting news from your children.  Who knows tho, maybe in my next life I will come back as a man.  You never know.

I hope that these questions got you thinking.  I would love to see what your answers would be.  We are all different, and have our own ideals, but just remember.  WE ARE ALL ALLOWED TO THINK WHAT WE THINK, AND NOT BE BROUGHT DOWN FOR THOSE SAME IDEALS.

Oh, and just to wet your whistle, here is a picture of me.  From a couple of weeks ago.
I know, the suspense is going to kill you.  mwaa-haa-haa

Friday, March 22, 2013

That Jeep Is Out To Get Me

The other day, I had a girls night out with my little sister Emily.  

You know when you have a hankering for a car.  And you just need to get it out of your system?  She decided that she had enough of the "mom" car and got herself a red jeep wrangler.  Now, don't let this picture fool you.  It has HUGE tires that makes it kind of hard for a rambunctious redblooded american woman with no problem getting in and out of cars gimp like me to get in and out of.  Lets just say, by the end of the night, which is 9 times later (yes, I said 9, stay with me here), I was praying to the step stool gods to miraculously have one right where I needed it.  But alas, no such luck.  

The first stop of our travels was at a little Korean restaurant in Provo, Utah.  It was called Spicy Corea.  I have never had Korean food before, so she ordered for us.  We got the bibimbap.  At first, when she said they put an over easy egg on the top, I was, no way.  But I put my big girl panties on, and decided to try it.  LOVED IT.  When it came out sizzling in the stone bowl, she told me to stir it all together so the rice wouldn't burn on the bottom and it cooked the egg.   Will definitely go back sometime.

After struggling to get back into the jeep from hell, we were off to the Provo City Library.   We arrive at the library, and take 3 (yes 3) different elevators trying to get to the 3rd floor.  Apparently, the elevator doesn't go to the third floor.  Errrr

Kathy Reichs and her son Brendon, were promoting their new book series.
We got seats on the second row.  (didn't help the quality of my pictures, but oh well).  I couldn't stop looking at her thinking, "I wish I had your money".   A tenured professor, a forensic anthropologist, called in to crime scenes (but only the ones that interest her now), author of the Tempe Brennen books, and co-producer and co-writer for the very popular TV series Bones.  Which has been picked up for their 9th season.  Yippy Ya-hooey.

This is her son.  He is a recovering attorney.  Very funny guy.

This was during the question and answer period.  See how she so nicely wanted to answer my question.  She was saying, "ooh, ooh, pick me, pick me".  hahahaha.  I kid.  

And no, I wasn't one of the lucky ones that had a sticker under my chair that would have gotten me a free book.  Dang.  Wasn't in the cards for that day.

We didn't stay for the book signing, because, well, I didn't want to buy a book, I like to do the ebooks anyway.  I tell Emily I really need ice cream.   What does this mean.  I HAVE TO CLIMB IN THE BLASTED JEEP AGAIN.  Help me.

Now, we could have gone to a really expensive ice cream place.  But no, I wanted a big twist cone.  We drove over to Macey's Grocery Store.  You can get 4 sizes of cones there.  Small .59 cents, medium .99 cents, large $1.59, and jumbo $1.99.   And boy did we beat the rush.  It was the happening place for ice cream that night.  (plus, Utah is the ice cream capital of the world, in case you hadn't heard)
We went with the medium.  Look at all that creamy goodness.  We also got us a cup of ice water, because, I don't know about you, I need water after ice cream.  We sat there and talked about stupid laws that the State Of Utah was trying to pass.  I won't go into it, but needless to say, we have some real yokels in the legislature.  Just sayin.

We finish the ice cream.  I am dreading the walk to the jeep.  I couldn't do it.  I promise. I tried for about 4 minutes to grab the freaking roll bar and pull myself up.  We were laughing hysterically.  Not to mention, the car parked in front of us was pulling out so they got to witness it, and then when another car pulled in they sat there awhile to watch.  So.....embarrassed.

When we finally arrive back to her house, and I roll out of the jeep, she goes for the big hug, thanks for going with me.  What does she do?  Pours her ice water all over me.  

Oh Good Times.

Monday, March 18, 2013

The Life Of A Dazee

It's time once again for you all to find out those useless pieces of information about myself that you know and love.  If you need someone to blame it on this time, it would be 
Angel with Singed Wing Angel's Pad.  She had these questions, said for us to use them.  Because she is cool like that, and doesn't get her panties all in a wad if someone does.

Read um and weep kids.

1.  What Were You Doing 10 Years Ago
Hmmmm, lets see.  10 years ago, I was 45.  I was working at the place that I "hated", loving every minute of it.  I had just become a grandma for the first time.  Yup, lots of things going on at that time in my life.  NOT.

2.  What Are 5 Things On Your To-Do List
a.  Get a job.
b.  Write a children's book
c.  Spend more time with people that make me laugh
d.  Meet my boyfriend, Shemar Moore, in person
e.  Have I mentioned, get a job?

3.  What Are 5 Snacks You Enjoy The Most
a.  Soft Lemon Cookies From Smith's (Kroger)  oh my....
b.  Yogurt Breakfast Bars
c.  Coffee Ice Cream
d.  Cool Mint Oreo's
e.  Carmel Frappe from McDonalds

4.  Names Some Things You Would Do If You Were A Millionaire
a.  Buy each of my kids their own home, mortgage free
b.  Go on a bunch of different cruises, but ummm, not on Carnival, cuz, yeah, they've been in the news too much lately
c.  Visit historical sites in the United States
d.  Visit blogging friends in the US, Canada, and England

5.  Places I Have Lived
Logan, Utah
San Jose, California
Colorado Springs, Colorado
Las Vegas, Nevada
Different Cities in Salt Lake County, Utah

6.  Some Bad Habits I Have
a.  Swearing
b.  Road Rage
c.  Many, many more that I just can't think about right now.  :)

7.  Jobs I Have Had
a.  Flow Solder in the HP Calculator Factory.  Oh yeah, top of the line there.  Loved it.  After the boards got put together with all the diodes and stuff, they would "pass over the hot solder" to  make them all stay in place.
b.  Secretary at a Purse Manufacturer.  I was young and skinny.  It was owned and operated by men from another country.  Can I just say, when I had to go into the back where they were making the purses, the men worker's would "stand at attention", and not by standing up out of their chair, if you catch my drift.  Yikes
c.  Receptionist
d.  Purchasing Agent
c.  Office Manager

Now it's your turn to play along.  Go for it.  Don't be scared.

Friday, March 15, 2013

Can I Just Say, W.O.W.

By The Way

I am alive and well.  Apparently, that saying of "things always happen in three's" is a correct statement.  Who would've thunk.

September 2012
My brother is life flighted to a hospital in Idaho Falls from Yellowstone.  He has varisies in his throat that have ruptured.  I head to Idaho to be there for him and his wife.

December 2012
Mom needs a hip revision surgery.  I spend the next 3 months in and out of a care facility/hospitals, 4 weeks with no hip, 1 hip revision, and 2 slipped out of sockets with her.  Learned all about patients rights and how to be a good physical therapist.

March 2013
Get a frantic phone call from my cwauson April.  Her four year old daughter has just been diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes.  Go up to the hospital in Twin Falls and spend the weekend with her.  Have her give me my shots, so that when it is time for her to start giving them to her daughter it won't be so scary.  

I did get her out of the hospital for one night.  My awesome baby brother got us a room at a hotel with his sky miles.  Her husband stayed overnight with Alyssa.  April had gone on about 36 hours with little or no sleep.  Now, you all know, when we are together, we do a lot of giggling and laughing.  Took her out to eat.  I'm surprised we didn't get asked to leave the restaurant.  I mean, really.  We needed to just let everything else go that night and laugh.  Which we did.  Stomach hurting laughter.   Got back to the room, she plopped on the bed, said give me 10 minutes, and was out for the rest of the night.  

What else is going on?  Well, since there are jobs, but no one is in the mood to hire me, I decided to volunteer at Primary Children's Outpatient Services in the Riverton Hospital by my house.  I LOVE IT.  I work the front desk and tell people where to go.    In a nice way.  Geez, as if I would be mean to those little tykes.   

Thursday, February 28, 2013

Whilst On My Travels

I have come to realize that I have been a hermit the last year.  No really, don't be shocked.  But I have.  

You may need to sit down for a minute while I make my next announcement.  Ok, here it is.......  I went out and about this week.  I know, right.   So unlike me.  The good thing is, I had time to pull out my camera and snap some pics of things that make me go, ooh, aaah and WTF.  

Here, in no particular order, are my findings

The Little Leaf That Could
This little leaf on the tree behind our house (well, it's the perp's tree), will not give up it's hold of the tree.  It sprouted last spring, lived all summer, lost it's color along with it's roommates, but didn't want to leave home.  It has lived through 60 MPH winds, so many snow storms I have lost count, and still just keeps holding on.  Talk about perseverance.

How Is My Driving?
At first when I got behind this car, I was thinking to myself, "I feel sorry for kids that have the kind of parents that would put this on their car".  As I got closer, and sat behind said car at a red light, I noticed that it was a little old lady, (you can barely see the top of her head), smoking like a chimney.   Her driving was horrible by the way.  Wonder if the number still was valid.  :)

Coolest Egg Timers
While waiting for an interview at Primary Children's Hospital, I stopped in the gift shop to see what I couldn't live without.  When to my wondering eyes did appear, these egg timers.  Are they so cute or what.  No I didn't buy them, but the volunteer there was nice enough to let me take a picture and even showed me all the colors they came in.  Me want.

Aaah, To Be Thin.....
My mom asked me to stop at a place called Asian City to pick her up a calendar.  I have never been in this store before.  Oh my, I will be going back just to walk around the whole store.  I spotted this little jewel and dreamed of once again being young, and thin, and.........

And The Oscar Goes To....
This blue gown was so beautiful.  The bodice was elastic or roused or whatever they call it.  (You would think I would know after watching ever season of Project Runway).  I decided then and there that when I am called up to the stage to accept my Oscar, this is the gown I will be wearing.  I can hear it now, "Dazee,  who are you wearing".  Why, Asian City, of course.  

Rocket Man
At one of the many places I needed to stop this week, I came upon this rocket.
It is a bicycle.  I asked the two ladies that were talking outside if they thought the owner would be ok with me taking pictures.  They said that a lot of people do.  Apparently the owner and traveler of said bike is a cardiologist.  Go figure.  He even had it chained to the bike rack.  It has turn signals and everything.  I myself would be scared to death to ride that thing in traffic.