Monday, May 31, 2010

Love Letter to my Shower

Dear Shower,

As I turned you on this morning, and you started warming up to my advances, I was overcome with such joy. As I stepped into your luxurious walls, the overwhelming sense of love overtook me.

As my cold naked body, stood underneath your hot, loving sprays of glory, I reflected on our long, long love affair. Of course, you and I both have definitely changed over the years.

As teenagers, we frolicked in fast showers. Senior year of high school, as drill mistress, not until I stepped into you did some of those drill routines get pounded into my head.

As marriage came into our lives, you left me for awhile. Yes, that year was hell for me as we lived in hubby's grandma's house, with only a tub. And I, pregnant with my first child, not able to have your loving caress hitting my body.

And last year, I left you, to go stay with Extended Stay Shower. He left so much to be desired. Was always so cool. Maybe he was old, and maybe he could have used some Viagra, but he always left me wanting for so much more.

But after 6 months of being apart, we have found each other again. You are hot, you are vibrant, you bring my body fully awake every morning. You inspired me with your caresses on my head, my face, my body.

I promise that I will never take you for granted again.

I heart you!!!!!


Sunday, May 30, 2010

F.O. Sunday

F.O. , as per the Dazee Dreamer Dictionary, (adj)........ Food Orgasm

I've decided to get brave and see if anyone will follow along on my meme. I'm going to be doing it every sunday. Your pictures can be from anything during the week. Or multiple pictures. Or that awesome ice cream you got at Cold Stone Creamery. :) Grab my button, and join along.

I'm calling it F.O. Sunday. It can be a picture of anything you have made this week, (or this week, my daughter made us for dinner) that was so totally amazing that you, had a FO. Got it. I would love you to play along.

Steak skewers, teriyaki chicken skewers (plus vegies) and pineapple skewers.

Oh yeah, it was a party in the mouth.

Now join in the fun.

Saturday, May 29, 2010

Show Me Saturday

Today I decided to play along with my blog buddy Renee at Renee's Ramblings. Click her link and go check her out.

Renee's Ramblings

Her follow me today is Disasters. hmmm. She said it could be anything. The only disaster that keeps coming to mind, is my wedding day. No, getting married wasn't a disaster, but happenings afterwards, well, yeah.

We got married in Vegas. My parents weren't real happy with my choice of husband, so we decided to just go to Vegas to get married. My older sister and her husband lived there so they were our witnesses. My BIL got tickets to Siegfried and Roy that night. (awesome, awesome show).

Anywho, we got married at 1:00 PM. In the Silver Bells Wedding Chapel. Me, in my aforementioned yellow dress, and that fine looking yellow hat. Geez, what a dork. Yeah, and he's looking at the wedding license like, "omg, I just got married". (insert the du-du-du music here).

We went to the Hilton Hotel and were hanging around until the show. I have to say, hubby went directly into shock when we got married. Didn't talk, didn't want to do anything. Yeah, it was fun. So we started getting ready for the show, did our bathroom duties, and du-du-du, toilet overflowed. On my wedding day. I was so embarrassed. And yeah, it was the poop kind of overflow. WTF. We hurried and called housekeeping and ran out the door. Yikes, that was a disaster. I do have to say tho, my BIL got us great seats at the show. Right up front. Next to the stage. And of course, it was one of the topless shows, so, if hubby and BIL wanted to, they could have reached right up and touched said dancers. Needless the say, the shock of getting married ended at that show. :)

A week later we had an open house. OMG, when I was going through these photo's that I haven't seen in a long time, I just realized what a hottie my hubby was. (And still is)

And Renee, my dad made our cake, and it fell over while he was decorating it. :) I was not a happy camper, but looking back, it was kind of funny.

Thursday, May 27, 2010

Friday Flip-Off 5.28.10

Gigi from kludgymom has this fun blog that really lets me get things off my chest. Check out others flip-offs (ps, someday I promise I will learn how to just have it say "here". :)

Now, on with the fun.

Dear favorite shows like Criminal Minds and NCIS. I think that tv series should have to be a new episode, every week for at least 50 weeks a year. I mean, if I have to work 50 weeks a year, and make a piddly amount of money, actors and actresses should have too also. And they make a ton more money than me. And they shouldn't be allowed to complain about only making $xxx,xxx.xx an episode. And they complain, I work so hard, blah, blah, blah. Right, the makeup person puts on your makeup, the hair person does your hair, the wardrobe person dresses you. Boo-Freaking-Hoo. Here is what I think about your measly complaints..............
Dear morning personality people on the radio station I listen to when I go to work. There are more than 10 freaking songs out there to play. I like to listen to you because you crack me up, but I'm getting really sick and tired of the same songs, morning, after morning, after morning. Hell, my husband has a 2500 cd collection, times that by an average of 10 songs per cd, and that equals 25000 songs. So really, play a variety. If you need some music, give me a call, but until then, this one is for you............
Dear week. You have screwed with me every day. Tuesday I thought it was Wednesday, Wednesday I thought it was Thursday, Thursday I thought it was Friday, and today, well, it's another freaking Friday. How dare you, take this................................................................................

Dear dude at work that decided it was cool to leave 3 huge drops of blood on the floor by the First Aid Kit. WTF!!! Did your mama teach you how to be a sloppy pig? Does your house look like a freaking joke? Do you think I'm going to clean up after you, especially if you have some kind of freaking disease. I think not. I am not your mother, your wife, or your girlfriend. I just work with you. That's all. And because you are such an oinker, you get this weeks double flip-off...........................................

Ha, how does that feel sucker!!!!!!

I Didn't Get The Memo

Apparently when we moved into our new home in February, we were not given the memo about morning joggers, walkers, and bike riders. I'm sure I would have remembered reading it. I can imagine it would go something like this.

Welcome to our little town of Herriman. We are all fit here. You will be required to take up the follwing activities. You must jog. At least every other morning. The opposite days, you will be required to walk. And on a special occasion of your choosing, you may ride a bike. You may do this in groups, or alone. You may use this time to walk your dogs. You will own the road. You will rule the land.

Honestly, this morning alone I must have seen 25 different people obeying the law of the city. I was dodging them left and right. I felt out of place in my car. I have lived in a few different cities around town and have never seen as many people out being healthy as in our own little city.

I refuse to obey the rule. Remember, I didn't get the memo. I'm up and down walking around my work all day long. That counts, right? But this picture is like one I have never seen before. I was totally blown away. Fitness chick was jogging with her 2 dogs. Not one, 2, and she had something I have never seen before. (now all you dog people might own said contraptrion but it was new to me.
I say this is taking your jogging a little too serious. (stop rolling your eyes at me, I can see you, you know). She's just lucky I didn't plow my car into her while I was looking long and hard at what the hell she had going on.

Now, I have to go. I hear a donut calling my name.

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Wordless Wednesday

My newest addition, just today, for the man I love with all my heart. Need I say more.

House is My Hero

Do you watch House? My sister Margaret turned me on to the show. "He reminds me of you" she said. So of course I had to check it out. I fell in love with the show the moment I watched it.

Why am I blogging about him today. Because, I wish I really were more like him. I wish I could just blurt out all the mean and rotten things he says to his patients, to the people that are really bugging me. What keeps me from doing it. Probably that little thing call compassion. I don't want to hurt people's feelings. Most the time to the detriment of me.

Like the other day, me and the hubs were at the local Big Lots and there was a lady all dressed up with her 2 daughters there. One of the girls wanted a barbie looking doll. This mother was all up in her face (and she was just little like 3-4) "you know I don't like what barbie represents, you can not have that doll". I wanted to just go up to her and say, listen, she's freaking 3, she doesn't care what she "represents", she just wants to play with her. And it was the tone in her voice, all "holier than thou". Wanted to just outright tell her, "what crawled up you and died".

Or how about the lady at the grocery store with her 3 under age 10 boys. The boys were pushing the cart, being boys, and she is yelling at them. But you know what. She is freaking texting the whole time she is shopping! First of all, I felt sorry for the boys, because if she is that bitchy in public, how bad is it at home. Wanted to go up to her and say, "maybe you should worry more about your groceries and kids, than what the hell is happening on your phone"!!!!!!

House would have done that. I know he would have. Do I need to get braver? Or, as my husband says, just stay out of it. Poor guy, he is the one that gets all my complaining after we get in the car and are headed home.

But if you watch the show, you also know that he has a heart of gold. Like the one where he was doing surgery on a baby inuteral, and the little teeny tiny hand grabbed his finger. You could tell he was touched in his eyes. Cried my eyes out on that episode. I finally figured out that it is his coping mechanism. Be blunt. He is blunter than I. But I guess I must be somewhat blunt if my sister is saying I remind her of him. I will speak my mind about anything that hurts my kids, grandkids, or husband. Even if it is extended family members. I don't hold back.

The only thing that would make that show better? I wish he could just use his english accent on the show. Wow, he is hot when he talks in his native tongue. :)

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Post It Note Tuesday 5.25.10

It's Tuesday, you know what that means? It means it's Tuesday, duh...... :)

On with the post-it's.

Mr. C, his mind is always going a mile a minute.

Yeah, it was the latest it's ever snowed here, in like forever!!! You did get my address, right?

ummmm, I guess because I'm not that lucky?

Need I say more.

Sunday, May 23, 2010

The Mind of Missy Moo Moo

Missy Moo Moo is our pet name for Miss A. Miss A is 2-1/2 years old. This morning while I was in the bathroom getting ready after my shower, Miss L asked if she could show her cousin that spent the night, my waterbed. I love me my waterbed. We got our first waterbed in 1983. Yup, the old kind that had the big headboard and when you slept on it, you would rock and roll just like you were on a boat.

Three years ago, I decided it was time to get a new waterbed. The soft side, can't really tell it's a waterbed till you sit on it.

I told Miss L that she could show cousin C the bed, then they asked if they could sit on it. Missy Moo Moo tells her cousin, "sit on it, it has water in it, and fishies". I was in the bathroom cracking up. Little had I known that I had fishies swimming around under me. When I was done, and we came out to talk to Bapa, I told him about the fishies. She also told him that there were turtles, but no sharks. :}

Kind of makes me think, tonight when I go to bed, I better chant the Wizard of Oz chant, but use, fishes, and turtles and sharks, oh no.

Saturday, May 22, 2010

Grandkid Conference Room

Welcome to the Dazee Dreamer Conference Room. This is the place where the grandkids will have little conversations with their Bapa. It is actually really cute. It can be a total madhouse around here, and then, quiet. Extreme quiet. Where is everyone?
They will have little one on one conversations with Bapa. Miss L, Mr. C and Miss A, live with their parents in our basement apartment.
Miss L will talk about school, and things that are bothering her.
Mr. C will discuss how much poop Godzilla will poop out and if he was to poop would it cover the house.
Miss O, she doesn't come over as often, but the last time we went to her
house, we had a conversation about the snakes and how they will push her into the snake hole and she will have to use a magic crayon to get herself out.
Miss A, she always has to make sure that the garbage truck isn't going to crash into the house. And what color all the cars are that are driving by.
These are such special moments. They are moments that we will always remember. And also, they say the darnedest things :)

Friday, May 21, 2010

Flip Off Friday

I just found this site on one of the blogs I follow, and by damn, I thought it was a brilliant one. So I am joining in on the fun.

To the weather dude on tv last night that actually said "we need the rain" after having 4 freaking weeks of rain every other day............................................................

To all the grocery stores that don't carry the White Chocolate Carmel Hills Brothers Cappichino but have all the other flavors........................................................

But my biggest flip off is going to all the drivers on the road this morning that have bad merge genes................................................................................................. you know who you are!!!!!
Oops, totally forgot to link up her blog for you to go check out.

Thursday, May 20, 2010

I Have A Confession

Once upon a time, I was roaming around, feeling sorry for myself, needing to give in to my passion. Oh, the need was so great. I heard from my daughter, about a new place to pick up my love. As I drove to the pick-up point, my mouth was watering with anticipation. My heart was beating wildly. Oh, My, God, there it was. The place. I shyly got out of my car, looked around, and went in the door. What was I to expect. I had never done this before.

Donuts, all kinds of donuts. All flavors of donuts. My obsession. The place is called, BEYOND GLAZE. (check out their website to feast your eyes. But not only do they have donuts, they have the best ever sugar cookies.

I've tried to refrain from this obsession. I've actually gone 3 weeks without stopping. Today, I was having a weak day. I needed to have my secret love. I called and made sure that my sugar would be available after work. I admit, I'm weak. I'm a emotional eater. When things start bothering me, I crave my sugar.

This morning I was thinking about all the injustices in the world. People that kill their 4 year old little boy (see his bruised face here) This was before his mother and stepfather killed him. 2 weeks after his father was forced by a judge to let his mother have him for the summer even tho she had abandoned him.

Husbands that verbally and emotionally abuse their wives. Oh, but they think that it is ok because no one will see the scars. You know what dickheads, I hear their cries of pain as they are asking me what they have done to deserve this. Was it something that their church preached, was it growing up with the same kind of father. Are men the almighty over women. HELL NO!!! I thank god everyday that my husband is the kind soul that he is. I know he gets tired of me telling him how much I love him all the time, especially when I'm talking about how awful some men are.

Working with people that outright lie to your face and turn around and make you look like a dumb woman behind your back.

Yes, all these things were bothering me this morning. So yes, I gave into my obsession. I went in search of something that would give me 5 minutes of pleasure. Because I'm sure that later I will be having acid reflux to show me the error of my ways. But you know what? I'm sure I will be forgiven. I know deep down I'm a good person, and my sin of giving into my craving will be ok.

Sometimes I would like my life to be like a fairytale. Where there are unicorns and rainbows, and the bad people in the end are evaporated to an unknown place. But as long as I have my sugar obsession, I will live happily ever after.

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Oh, Really?

Two of my favorite people got my award, and answered my questions, then came up with their own. I wanted to share them and answer them so here they are. Beware of Question 12. You might get extremely hot!

1.What's your most embarrassing moment?
I would have to say a year ago when I went to a funeral and when we went to the cemetery it was an actual blizzard. Get out of my car, start walking, slip, fall right down to my knees and my skirt hikes up over my butt. A teenage boy was walking behind me and ran up to help. Sure he got a kick out of seeing my huge butt and underwear. :)

2. What is your favorite 80's movie?
You know, I couldn't come up with an 80's movie, but if you ever want to see one of the saddest movies I've ever seen you must see "Missing In America". It was so good. I would love to own this movie. Just make sure you have your box of Kleenex handy.

3. What are your pet peeves or interesting things about you that you dislike?
People that drink from bottles of water, chugging it LOUDLY, glug, glub, glub, and doing it in my office. EEERRRRRR

4. What’s the ideal dream job for you?
I would love to go to the children's hospital and volunteer to spend time with the sick kids to give their parents a break to go on a date, or just have some time to themselves for awhile.

5. What thought or message would you want to put in a fortune cookie?
What goes around, comes around. (And may I please be around when it comes around)

6. If you had to give up a favorite food, which would be the most difficult to give up?

7. If you could transport yourself anywhere instantly, where would you go and why?
Anywhere. That would be my dream super power.

8. What is one item that you really should throw away, but probably never will?
My yellow wedding dress.

9. You've been given access to a time machine. Where and when would you travel to?
I would love to travel back to when my hubby's parents were alive and spend a day with them.

10. If you could have a superpower, what would it be?
Being able to teleport wherever I want to go. No more sitting in traffic with road rage.

11. Who is your favorite cartoon character
Gosh another hard question. hmmmm, probably rainbow brite.

12. What actors/actresses do you think are mighty fine, hot and sexy?
OMG, Shemar Moore extremely sexy. (whew, is it hot in here?)

13. Where would your dream vacation be to?
Hawaiian Cruise

14. What size shoe do you wear?
7 to 7-1/2 depending on the shoe

15. What is the grossest thing that you've witnessed or been a part of?
OMG, when my oldest son was little, he always had nose bleeds and allergies. Took him to the Ear Nose and Throat doctor, and his nose was so full of snot that the doctor took these twizzer like things and started pulling the snot out of his nose. Just typing that made my stomach turn. I know that I was actually sitting there making the puking sound.

16. Do you think Renee is super cool?
I think Renee is one of the coolest people I know!!!!!! And I will totally fight anyone who doesn't think so.

17. Why do you blog? If you don't blog, do you ever think you will?
I started blogging because I had such weird dreams, but then figured out that I love to write and hopefully crack people up once in a while.

18. What is a pet peeve you have?
People that come into my office and make personal calls on their phones.
19. What is your worst habit?
Swearing. I mean, sometimes it just has to be done, but I work with only men, so, well, you understand.

20. Would you ever pose naked for pictures?
Only if I was paid a million dollars, and then the "people" looking at them would probably be laughing their asses off.

Those were fun. You are all probably getting sick of questions about me. But hey, I got to look up a picture of Shemar.

My Fantasy Keyboards

Need I say more