WOW, THOSE DREAMS!

 Dreams.  

I don’t know about you, but I dream each and every night.  Most people do, but they don’t remember them. Honestly it’s like watching a movie for me. Over the years, I’ve started analyzing what they mean. Here are a few examples. 

If I dream about someone that I know but haven’t seen them in years, it usually means something life changing is going to happen. Here’s an example of this.  

One night not too long ago, I dreamed about one of Brent’s uncles.   We haven’t seen him in at least 30 years.  The dream doesn’t mean anything, I just dream about the person.  I’m friends with the wife of his cousin, who is the nephew of said uncle.  I told her that I dreamed about him and to be prepared to have something happen.  It seems like it was a month later when she tells me that his uncles wife had just passed away. 

I don’t know why I “know” these things, I just do. For a long time I didn’t say anything to people about them.  Brent would also think I was weird when I talked about them, but he finally realized that they weren’t just made up things. 

Another thing that I dream about is babies.  The crazy thing is, I dream that I am the one that is pregnant.  It usually means people in my extended family or friends or their kids are expecting.   So when a relative tells me about one of their kids being pregnant, it puts my mind to rest.  Till the next one.  

But I digress.  Have you ever had a dream that you have never forgotten about? I have a few that have never left my brain.  They must be in that file that stays open.  (Yes, my brain is a huge file cabinet)  

FRANKENSTEIN 

I had this dream when I was in the first grade. My very first nightmare.  It was recess time. We were just enjoying ourselves when we heard screaming. We looked towards the restroom door.  (First of all, I don’t think elementary schools have restrooms that can be accessed from outside of the building, but whatever). One of the teachers runs out and the top of her head has been flattened like Frankenstein’s. Then a bunch more teachers run out with the same flat heads.  All of the kids started screaming. Then to our horror, Frankenstein comes lumbering out. He was headed right to me, and........I wake up. (Cleansing breath).  You realize this dream was 56 years ago. I can still see it in color to this day. 

BEING PREGNANT 

This next dream was when I was pregnant with my daughter. Brent and I were doing our grocery shopping. All of the sudden my water broke.

 Sidebar: when we went to my prenatal class they said to always grab a jar of pickles just in case your water broke. That way you could throw the jar on the floor hard enough that it would break.  That way it looks like that’s what happened. Plus, it will smell like pickle juice instead of amniotic fluid

Not only that but the baby was born right after my water broke. Now in dreamland there was no umbilical cord or placenta and no blood. What a wonderful world that would be.  I started freaking out. I yelled to Brent “how will we know how much it weighs?”  We get this great idea to go up to checkout and use their produce scales.  Tee hee hee. We are thinkers I tell ya. I know you all are thinking, why did I feel like we needed to weigh the baby?  Well, because the first question out of anyone’s mouth is, how much did it weigh?  Duh. The weird thing about my daughter’s birth, my water did break. Du-du-du. 

SCREAMING DREAM

Since my transplant, I’ve had two dreams that I’ve woken up screaming. Never happened before.  Have any of you experienced these?  They are mind blowing. The first one was about six months ago. I was in a business somewhere when some men came in the building looking for Brent, screaming at me saying “where is he, we are going to kill him”!!! Noooooooooo!!!  I actually woke up screaming that I was going to kill them, they would NOT get my man. In my dream I had a huge knife in my hand. My screaming those words woke Brent up fast. Took me in his arms to calm me down. 

The other one just happened last night. I was at the hospital where for some reason I had two appointments with two different doctors scheduled for the same time.  I went to the one that I didn’t think would last that long. Wrong choice. Of course I was in my wheelchair so I had a friend helping that day. We decided to head to the other doctor that I had an appointment with. For some reason I was pregnant again.  So I was going to the obstetrician. What the hell!!!!! Whoever is pregnant out there would you let me know because I’m too old to be having babies!!!!! We get to the other side of the hospital. They’ve changed their office.  You go to the front desk to check in. And for some idiotic reason you had to walk down a winding staircase to get to the exam rooms.  I start freaking out at them. I’m in a freaking wheelchair. Then they tell me I’m not even on their schedule. Oh dear, those are fighting words!!!! I start screaming, making a huge fool of myself, but I didn’t care. This is the point where I woke up screaming fighting words again. Poor Brent, he’s got a weird wife. 

If you have any dreams you want to share, please email them to me. The reason I named my blog Crazy Daze and Nite Dreams is because that is my life. 

Remember my email address is dazeedreamergp@yahoo.com if you want to share a dream or do a guest post. I look forward to hearing from you.  

I Think I Have A Frack In My Brain

It's Friday, which means it's time once again for me to get my frack on.  This week is about my brain.  Yeah, that wonderful piece of goo that controls every thing we do.  I don't know about you, but I sometimes think my brain is playing games with me.  Hey, stop laughing.  It's true.
This is my brain

Just doing a little cleanup in there.  Trying to find the trouble spots.

Dear Dreaming Brain

What the frack?  I am working at the White House.  Apparently, I'm working with the Spy Unit.  (now, I didn't dream I was Angelina, or that Brad was my husband, but ummm, yeah, that would have been sweet).  Anyyummylater, we were all in the spy room, watching our monitors, when one of our co-workers, who was from the country we were watching, and was a spy for us, says, "they are getting ready to go to war with the US".  I all of the sudden get so upset.  I leave the room and go look for the President.  I find him in his room, getting into his fatigues and he looks very somber and tells me that he is being taken to one of the bunkers.  Now, here is the weird thing.  I'm like the Monica Lewinsky of the group.  I'm in love with the President.  He takes me in his arms, and kisses me and tells me he will call me when he knows he is safe.  Then he gives me the number to his super secret cell phone number.  But it isn't made of numbers, it's made with letters of the alphabet.  Color me impressed that the President got a cell phone number with alphabetic letters.  

(oh, and no comments on how you hate our current President.  If you could do the job better, you run for office.)

Dear Brain While At Walmart

Yesterday, while my daughter was at school, I took her kids to help them pick out birthday presents for her, since it was her birthday.   We did all our shopping, stopped at the little rip-you-off kiosk they have by the doors, and Miss L had her own money so she wanted to stop and try for a Webkinz.  I'm thinking, it's only 50 cents, and its her money so go for it.  OMG guys, she got the cutest pug webkinz on her first try.  So she tried for another, since she put a dollar in and lo-and-behold, grabbed a little pink webkinz purse, that had a pair of 4th of July star sunglasses that were stuck on it, grabbed it just right and won those too.  She gave those to Miss A.  She gave her brother Mr C a dollar and he tried for a webkinz.  Three tries later, he won a red eyed frog.  You have to know, webkinz are not cheap.  But to get all 4 of those items for 4 dollars was awesome.  There was a group of people watching and cheering by the time we were done.  The people who stock them  also put the most expensive prizes  in there, where they are the hardest to get.  Guess whose taking Miss L to Vegas when she turns 21.  Yeah, this grammie

Anyluckylater, my brain.  

After all the excitement, we walk outside to the parking lot.

We head to my car, which is parked in handicap, because of my neuropathy.  

We get to my car, I'm pushing the unlock button, nothing is happening.  I push it again.  Oh man, do I have to do the manual open with a key thing.  The travesty.  I'm thinking, why did the battery have to stop working now that I have my hands full of a ice cream cake.  errrrrrrrr

Try it one more time, start trying to grab my key to unlock, look at the mirror in the car, and oops, no hanging handicap decal.  The kids are looking at me like, "grammie, just unlock the doors already".  I tell them, hey, this isn't grammies car.  We look over to the next row of cars, and there is mine.  They are looking at me like my brain has stopped working.  Hey, they thought it was my car too.  

Now, I've heard about people trying to get in the wrong car, thinking it was theirs.  But what are the odds of us being parked so close together in handicap.  And, what if, by the luck of the draw, my keys would have opened that door.  Would we have just jumped in, started the car and gone.  I think where my fracking brain was at the time, it might have been a yes.

See, I told you there's a frack in my brain.

Helicopters and Groceries and Oz, Oh My

You guys, I had the whopper of dreams the other night.  I know, you are all thinking, but Dazee, your dreams are always crazy.  You are correct my little munchkins.

Supposedly when we are in REM, it's only for a few minutes.  I dare to call BS on that statement.  

*Cue dramatic music*

I am at work.  (I know, just pretend and go with me on this one).  I am working in this huge open spaced skyscraper type building.  I am working for the company I worked for for 23 years.  That is the company I was at before the last horror I was at for 10.  I'm trying to get out of there and out of the blue comes the owner of the company, flying a helicopter, inside the building.  He keeps telling me, "get in".  I fight him on it.  Don't want to even have him in my line of vision.  Finally, I get in, and we almost crash into the door.  I jump out and start running.

Find my way into another building.  It is a grocery store.  But, it is not like a normal grocery.  

You fill out a paper, take it to a cashier, and they type it into the computer and someone goes and pulls all your stuff.  You just wait.  I notice that they have a room that people are in doing all kinds of weird "crafty" things.  Turns out they are applying for jobs there.  They tell me I should apply.  I'm like, ummm, no thanks.  I don't think I could make enough money here.  I get my groceries, try to take them out to my car, but I can't find it.  Not only that, but it has been snowing.  Turns out Mr. Dazee has come and switched cars with me, but has not informed me of such.  That guy.  

Finally find his car, put the groceries in, but decide I have to go into the bank.  Go to yet another building, go in, start talking to the tellers.  They tell me they are hiring.  They love me there so they tell me I really have to apply.  I finally say, ok, I will.  But then, they inform me that

I have to watch The Wizard of Oz before my interview.  What the?  Apparently the whole application is about the movie.  Maybe they are testing our retention skills.  I have no idea, but I'm thinking to myself that this is just way too off the wall for me.  Hey, close those jaws that just hung open.  Could happen.

Think I best be off to watch the movie.  You never know.

So, we're pretty much friends by now, right?

My Crazy Dreamland

Well, it happened.  

Last night was the very first and last episode of 

The Amazing Race/Survivor Show

It all started on our island.  We were all teamed up.  

Lucky me, my partner was Napoleon Dynamite.

The first part of our competition was Amazing Race style.  We had to climb a mountain, and then when we got to the top we had to milk a goat.   Napoleon and I got to the top of the mountain first.  We were fighting like brother and sister while we were getting the milk for our next clue.  We finally did, slid down the mountain to a dirt pathway, and started running for our lives to get to Phil first.

We did, and then, BAM, we were in a broadcast studio, waiting for Jeff Probst to show up so we could do the final vote.  I was sitting there being all shy.  (stop your laughing).  Napoleon was on the other size of Jeff's chair yukking it up with all the other people.

Jeff FINALLY came into the room, and talked to all of us.  Then he started reading the votes.  Napoleon, Dazee, Napoleon, Dazee, Napoleon, Dazee, Napoleon Dazee.  I started crying.  I just knew that I was going to win the million bucks and how it would help my family.   Napoleon didn't need it, he is already rich.

Final Vote

NAPOLEON

what the????????

And he wasn't even listening.  Didn't jump up and down.  Wasn't until about a half hour later that he said,

"Wait, Did I Win?  Gosh"

And no, Momma Fargo, I am not on any medication that will make me go all coocoo for cocoa puffs.  

Now How Did We Get Here?

Sleeping for me has become a never ending story of movies of the last 35 years at the 2 places of employment that I had in all that time.

I'm still trying to comprehend what my subconscious is trying to tell me in the latest of the series.  

I am back working for the company before this last one.  One of the girls I worked with there, we'll call her K, and myself were going to a business meeting in another State.  I handed her her plane ticket and told her I would meet her at the airport.  We arrive and load the plane, only to be diverted while in the air to some remote place of a 2nd world country.  While we are flying there, she leans over and tells me that she is the one that has made the pilots divert us to there.

The next scene, her and I are in some of her cohorts house.  I am scared to death.  I sit on the couch as she discusses things with a rangy looking guy.  All of the sudden she is running out the door, yelling at me to come with her.  We head down the street into a shop, where she buys an outfit kind of like this

For the whopping price of $1.50.  

And yes, she was a skinny as those girls.  

We head back to the place we were staying and she puts on her outfit and tells me to go put on something sexy.  (hahahah, me sexy, as if)

I go into a room where there is a girl, I'm assuming the sister of the guy with K.  The bedroom is huge, with 2 queen size beds in it.  

(sidebar:  I am really uncomfortable undressing in front of anyone.  Takes me back to gym in Junior High)

I start taking off my top and the girl starts staring at my boobage and telling me how voluptuous I am.  (stop snickering)  I hurry and throw on something that K will not be ashamed to see me in.  While I finish dressing and try to stay away from the weird sister, I notice the other bed.  I ask her if she shares a room with someone and she tells me that she shares the room with her parents.  Ick, Yuk.  I look over to the other bed and smack dab on top of the bed is an above ground coffin that looked kind of like this

Needless to say, I get the freak out of the room in a hurry.

K and I get on a moped type scooter and head to a place where she can sell her wares.  (if you catch my drift).   The place is closed and she gets so mad, she starts yelling.  Then she pulls me across the street to where there are houses.  She stops at one house, and they invite us in  She hooks up with a younger guy and they go roller skating, leaving me there all alone.  I start freaking out.  There is a small child that comes and sits by me, and tries to make me feel better.  I have my cell phone with me.  I know that I need to call Mr. Dazee, but all I can remember hearing about is how much out of country phone calls cost, and knowing that we can't afford it, I think long and hard before dialing our number.

I get him on the phone and tell him I am so scared and for him please to find me.  He promises me that he will.  

And then I woke up.  Extremely happy that it was all just a dream.  

But what does it mean.

Dazee's Dreamfest - Du-Du-Du-Du Edition

You guys are in for a real, ummmm, crazy dream post.  Twilight Zone type dreams I tell ya.  Read on at your own risk.  bwaa-ha-ha

You Can Do What?

Lets begin with the most recent.  I headed to the pharmacy department in a huge mall/college type place.  I ask the pharmacist if she has any GARLIC CLOVES.  She gives me a strange look and then goes to her shelf, comes back to me bringing some honeycomb type things in a jar.  She says she doesn't have the ones I'm looking for, but will make me some up.  What the?  Over at her "mixing" area, she takes out a witches type "drink the blood out of the scary looking metal drinking glass" and puts the said items into it first.  Next she adds some "special ingredients" and sparks start shooting out of the thing.  All the while she is stirring it with her magic wand.  

My Analysis

I was looking for Garlic Cloves yesterday while shopping for groceries.  Plus, the night before, I was watching Wizards of Waverly Place (shut up)  Could not find the cloves.  Brain was having a hard time comprehending this.

Hey, Whose That?

One night I dreamed that I was getting off the freeway.  I was sitting in the line waiting for the light to turn green.  All of the sudden, my daughter-in-law drove by in the other turn lane in my son's car.  He was right behind her in a car that I didn't recognize.  All of the sudden, I see my son jump out of his car, with a gas can in his hand and he is RUNNING to the closest gas station, leaving his car just sitting there.  I text the D-I-L asking what is going on.  She tells me that her car just all of the sudden stopped running.  I said to her, "why didn't he just push your car off the freeway with his car".  No idea.

My Analysis

Two days later, I get a text from my D-I-L that my son's car is totally broken down and so they have to get her car fixed (they have just been driving his to save money). It will be cheaper to get hers fixed than getting his car fixed.  Her brother-in-law is going to fix her car, but while he is, HE HAS LENT THEM HIS CAR TO DRIVE UNTIL IT GETS DONE.  

Du-du-du-du

Remember, he was driving a car in my dream that I had never seen before. 

Yeah, I know.

Get Out Of Here!!!!! 

By far the scariest dream I've had in the last few weeks is this one.  My kids were little, and all of the sudden they were screaming.  It woke me up and I went tearing into their room to find out what was wrong.  They were holding each other, and crying and saying, "there is a ghost in our room".  I was like, no there isn't.  They start pointing and say screaming, "then what is that", pointing behind me.  I turn around, and there is a dark, ghostly apparition behind me.  I start screaming at it to leave my kids alone.  The thing starts to approach me.  It grabs on to my arms and pushes me down on the bed, holding me down, and not letting go.  

I actually woke myself up by screaming for Mr. Dazee

I didn't want to open my eyes for fear of what I might see.  I look over at my clock and it is 2:37 am.  I then get really weirded out because I've watched Paranormal State and they are always saying that between 3 and 4 am is the "witching hour".  I wouldn't even get out of bed to use the bathroom, even tho I had to go badly, for fear of the unknown.

My Analysis

I believe there is good and bad spirits around.  I just don't want them in my house.  To even make this a more Du-du-du-du- moment is this past saturday night, a few nights after this dream, Miss L and Miss A were having a sleepover, even tho they live downstairs.  I sent Miss L down to get their jammies.  When she came back up, she sat down next to me and said, "Grammie, when I was going down the stairs, I heard someone laughing".  

W.T.H!!!!!!!!

I just said, maybe it was someone on the TV, trying to think of what we were watching. 

As I've said before, when I have dreams that I remember, I think back to what I was doing that day to figure out what my sub-conscience is trying to reconcile.   Sometimes, I know they are trying to tell me things, to prepare me.  It's happened one too many times.

Dazee's Dreamfest

We all know that my blog is called Crazy Daze & Nite Dreams.  I have decided that I am going to do a weekly post on just my dreams.  It's an every night occurrence, movie fest in my head.  If I start dreaming about you, you better watch out.  If you think you are a whiz at what my dreams mean, go for it.  Its going to be a fun ride.

Dream 1

Lately I've been dreaming about my last 2 jobs, together, as if they are one.   I was working with a bunch of women.  Me and one of the other girls decided we would go for a walk.  We headed down the main road and then turned onto a street that was kind of vacant.  A car pulls over to the side of the road where we are just walking by.  There is a young girl driving the car, with a child about 10 to 12 months old.  It is crying.  She is yelling.  Then she is hitting the child.  I decide that I'm getting involved and go over to her and start talking really nicely to her.  I tell her that she looks too young to be driving and she tells me she is 12.  I then say that she should not be hurting the baby, and that I am going to call the authorities.  The baby is still screaming and crying and lifting his arms towards me.  I bring the baby up to my shoulder, start comforting him, and then he throws up all over me.  Then he falls asleep.  I smell.  The police show up and tell me that she is really 16 and that she is known in these parts.  They thank me for calling, child protective services is called and then we are all of the sudden back to work, where everyone telling me I smell.  You think?

Synopsis

I know that the reason I'm dreaming about both my jobs together is because they both let me go after years and years of service.  I feel robbed.  The rest of the dream.  I have no idea.

Dream 2

I was going to a comedy show.  It was early in the morning.  I got out of my car, parked it, and then left my bible sitting on a bench while talking to the morning host of one of the radio stations.  He was in charge of what was going on and handed me a card to get into the show for free on the weekend.  I went inside.  I had a doll in my arms.  I sat down next to a woman and we started talking.   I realize that we are all there supposedly trying out to be on the show.  I have not practiced a 10 minute routine.  I start to panic.  All of the sudden, the doll is a real live baby.  She jumps out of my arms and is running up and down the aisles.  Me and the other woman decide to leave.  We head outside when I see the baby crawling in the street.  Along comes trax.  The train stops, she crawls up to the door and an elderly lady picks her up.  I start to panic.  I can't find my car.  I beg the woman with me to RUN AFTER THE TRAIN to get to the next stop while I find my car and bible.  THE BIBLE IS GONE.  I can't remember what my car looks like.  Finally I find it and drive to the next Trax station.  It is sort of an amusement park/Trax Station.  I am reunited with the woman, but still can't find the baby.  She says that the Trax people say I have to pay for her because they had to make a special stop.  WTH???

Synopsis

I need to write a show for television.  :)  Also, I never carry a bible around with me.  Go ahead, preach away.

So, there you have the first of my weekly series.  From now on I will write down every dream I have for our weekly review.  

Oh, and just so you know, I DO NOT DRINK BEFORE I GO TO BED.  A swig of water with my medicine, but that is all.  So don't be going and blaming it on alcohol.  

It Could Only Happen To Me

OMG

You will totally not even believe what happened to me last night.

We were having a huge electrical storm.  After the power flickered on and off, I decided I needed to unplug my laptop so it would get fried.  I when over to, started pulling out the power cord, and all of the sudden there was a spark.

I swear it was like that, but smaller.  

Because I was pulling out the power source at the time, it "shocked" me.  I thought I was ok, but then I started having a hard time breathing, my arms began hurting and my hands were going numb.  I called my mom and told her she needed to come over and take me to the hospital.   (Mr. Dazee wasn't home at the time).  She kept trying to tell me that I was ok, I was just being a baby.  I finally must have said something that got to her because she hurried over to my place and we headed out to the car.

While we were walking to the car, all of the sudden there was a huge noise.  You know, like metal hitting metal.  We looked up just in time to see a semi truck flying through the air.

It caught on fire.  I told my mom she shouldn't try to go that way because it would take forever to get to the hospital, but she refused to listen to me.  As my arms were blistering up, she drives past the accident and we SEE THE DRIVER GET OUT AND WALK AWAY FROM THE FIRE!!!!!  How he even lived through flying through the air and crashing I will never know.

And then

I Woke Up

Welcome To My Nightmare

I've gathered you all here today, to be enlightened by my mind.    hahahahaha, and if you believe that, I have a bazillion dollars in the bank.

I've had the craziest of dreams nightly lately.  Well, sit on up, grab your favorite beverage, and let me enthrall  tell you about them.  

I was sitting in the backseat of a car.  No, I don't know whose car it was, quit asking questions.

The driver was not in the car but I was looking at the car next to me.  I noticed that by the drivers door and front tire, there was a woman sleeping.  Her head was towards the back of the car.  All of the sudden I see her teeth moving, like out of her mouth.  They plop out, followed by what I can only come up with was a rat.  He grabbed her teeth and ran off.  

Now before you go running off to get me one of these,  

oooohhhh, purple****

*clearing throat*

It's ok.  No really.  You have to believe me.  I think it's because I've been reading books about murder and ghosts and rats and such.  Just sayin.

The thing is, since I was *cough* fired *cough, let go, I have been dreaming, NIGHTLY about my 2 former places of employment. 

My daughter told me that she had read somewhere, that every night before you go to sleep, you need to envision things you don't want on your brain, climbing out of your brain, on a ladder.

Something like that.  Scary I know.

I have been doing that.  Except for last night.  I was so tired, that I just flopped on the bed, and was out in about one minute.

In last nights dream, I was back at "my place of employment" but not the actual place I just got kicked out of left.  And not only that but these dreams always include former employees from both of my last 2 jobs.  Weird.  But even weirder, I keep showing up for work, as if they were just kidding.  No one will say anything, not even the managers.  In fact, my latest manager, of the male persuasion, was a female last night in the dream.  She was saying that I could work there as long as I didn't cause trouble.  

Because we all know TROUBLE is my middle name.  NOT.

Now repeat after me

Oops, Pushed The Wrong Button

I had a dream Friday night that I won a beautiful, dark red, convertible corvette for Mr. Dazee.  Its his dream car (of which I'm sure it is many men's).  I was a smidge sad when I woke up and it was just a dream.  He was so excited and happy.  

So, I'm thinking, if any of you are doing a corvette giveaway, please let me know.  I would love to try for that one.  Maybe my dream was a premonition of a big win on a giveaway.  Or Not, most likely.

I also won a boat.  It was an awesome boat.  One like I've never seen before.  I'm thinking it's because my good friend Christy has a boat.  Ok, her husband has a boat.  

Speaking of Christy.  The other day we were texting away.  I decided that she needed her own ring tone, so I'm searching through my sounds to find one.  The thing was, I kept pushing the freaking green call button instead of the menu button.  After 3 times of luckily seeing it before it went through, my luck ran out.  Oh, I got to the list of sounds, but then all of the sudden, there is a strange "sound" coming from my phone.

"Dazee, Dazee, is that you".  

Ummm, since when did that sound show up on my phone.  Hmmm.  Look at my phone, dang, I've connected with her mad mind.  Yikes.  What do I say?  

"Well, hello Christy, so nice to finally put a voice to your texts"

(that was me pretending to be like, yeah, I called you on purpose)

Ok, I fessed up.   

Told her I really didn't mean to call her.  Why, you ask?  Because, well, the thing is, I'm actually kind of terrified of talking to people in person.  Not like in person, but on the phone.  I'm always afraid that I will sound stupid and dumb and they can't see my face and then they will be like, omg, she is such a farce, and then they will defriend me, and block me from their phones and I will be all sad and crying and I will end up not blogging anymore, and .......

whoa, hold on there cowgirl...

But guess what?  She didn't do any of that.  Turns out she had wanted to call me but was afraid I would be all, "why the hell are you calling me you weirdo".   We talked for quite a while and it felt like we had been friends forever.  We made plans for Thanksgiving and Christmas, ok, we didn't, but it sounded good, right.  I had a blast and now we text even more than we did before.

I bet some of you are thankful I don't text you.  I'm a text stalker.  I will drive you c.r.a.z.y.  I will randomly just say something.  

Just like another friend I have recently made.  You know her as Boobies.  She texted me the other night that she was semi-drunk.  I answered her back.  "You are drunk in a semi?'  And oh my, I can't even tell you where it went from there, except that we need to sell the movie rights to someone.  :)

I love how the blogging world has made it possible to make friends all over the world.  Now, if texting to places outside of the US was part of my unlimited texting plan, even more of you would be on my stalking list.  

Mmwwaaaa-hhhhhhaaaaaaaa-hhhhhhaaaaaaaaaa

I'm Pretty Sure A UFO Went By This Morning

Disclaimer:  This post is all over the place.  You've been warned.

Have you ever been getting ready early in the morning and the quiet of the street is interrupted by the sound of a UFO?   What?  You think I'm delusional?  Ok, I really know it is just a noisy car that needs some power steering fluid of something.  (oh, come on, you didn't think I was smart enough to know that a car needs that and it makes noise if it's low)  But I still like to pretend that it's a UFO because, well, that would be all sorts of exciting.  

I've been having strange dreams lately.  Last night was one of those times.  I was at work.  But in dreamland it's always my old job.  Decided to start making my turkey for Thanksgiving, IN THEIR STUPID BREAK ROOM.  Thought for sure that I could get the thing going, and then transfer it home.  Yeah, ummm, ok.

Then it went to I was trying to help a little boy.  I know who the boy is in my dream.  It is one of my friend's grandsons.  He wrote a scary story that I read and so I was trying to help him find the source of his anger.  Because I'm wonderwoman.  

One of my friends texted me last night asking if I knew what it meant when you dream that all your teeth are falling out.  Because I graduated in dream interpretation, (not), the only thing I could come up with is that he doesn't feel like he has a say in anything.  (I know, you are so ready to hire me, aren't you).

And now going straight from making turkey for Thanksgiving to Christmas, I filled out my Christmas list this weekend

Mr. Dazee needs to get his thinking cap on.

Yeah, I know some people are having a real problem with Tattoo Barbie, but I totally want her.  I was never in to Barbie Dolls as a kid.  She needs to come to work with me.  Sit on my computer and keep me company.  

Yeah, I'm a kid at heart, what of it?

Imagine If You Will

Dearest Readers Of My Blog

You are about to enter

Dazee's Dream Zone

Do Not Adjust Your Screens

You have noticed by now that my blog has referenced "Dreams and Crazy".  I am now going to take you into my dream world of Sunday Night.  I realize these dreams happened during the night of which my post yesterday was all about.  I have figured out that my dreams have a lot to do with me compartmentalizing the days happenings.

Dream #1

I was at church.  Stop laughing.  In the hallway, there were snakes, and lizards, and bears, oh no.  Wait, there were no bears.  I was in charge of the little children.  (scary).  We were out looking at the s.c.a.r.y.  predators when one little girl decided to get brave and stick her head up by the cage.  Why was she able to do this?  Because its the freaking dream world.  This upset said huge lizard, who proceeded to crawl right up to the little girl and bite and hold onto her lip.  Now, even scarier, the little girl bled green blood.  About the color of the above picture.  Running around, it would not let go, I grab her screaming, dripping green blood all over the place,  and looking in rooms for her parents.  Said parents were found but couldn't give a rats ass that she was injured. 

Fade to black.

Dream #2

(wow, that countertop kind of looks like mine, scary even tho I got this shot off of google, du-du-du-du)

While at the same church, there was a dinner thing going on.  Yeah, me, food, what's your point.  

We all know that me and any type of pastry are like this *crossing fingers*.  I go to the table that has brownies that are shaped as, well, poo.  I ask the lady that made them, are these brownies?  Yes she said, so I grabbed one and took a HUGE ole bite.  Proceeding to chew and then gag, and then spit out.  

What The Hell!!!!  

They tasted like poop.  Now, I have never eaten poop.  My name is not Hilly. (tee-hee-hee).  But you can imagine what it was like.  I have to say, I woke up still feeling nauseated and puking yesterday morning.   And couldn't wait to brush my teeth.  Yuk, phewy, sick.

I understand what my dreams were saying.  No need to analyze.

On an extremely awesome note.  Look what I got.

(excuse the photo, it was taken in a flash, hahaha, I said flash, get it)

MY VERY FIRST SHOT GLASS!

Thanks to one of my awesome followers, Vicki at Just Call Me Jake, Not found in stores anywhere,

and not many people can say they have a shot glass from "Area 52".  

Yup, she's awesome!!!!

I promise to take a better photo and probably put it on this Thursday, I SPY, which all of you are going to enter.  Right?  Of course Right.

Remember, the prompts are

Lamp(s) (let your imagination be your guide)

and

Bloggers Choice.

Be there or be square.

Don't Ever Have Dreams During The "Witching" Hour

Have you ever watch Paranormal State on TV and Ryan will say, "we are now going into the witching hour", which is supposedly 3:00 AM.  So being the ever scardy cat that I am, I try not to "be awake" during that time.  

Welcome to last night.  Had to get up at 3 because, well, my toilet was calling my name.  Had to go see what in the hell it was making all that racket about.  Stumbled back into bed, and started thinking, great, it's the witching hour.  Makes it kind of hard to go back to sleep.  After what felt like FOREVER, I began dreaming.  If you have any suggestions as to what you think it all means, let me know.  Unless all you have to say is, Dazee, you are weird.  This I already know.

At first, I was sleeping, in a bed, at a neighbors house, on their deck.  I hear dogs barking but not enough to wake me up.  All of the sudden, without hearing my phone ring, or me answering it, I hear one of my friend's voices calling out.  DAZEE, DAZEE, CAN YOU HEAR ME, DAZEE, WHERE ARE YOU.  Grab my phone, start talking and then she was like, "just calling to see if you are ok".  Umm, yeah, except you woke me up.  Sit up in bed, it is light outside all of the sudden, look over the deck and there is carnage below.

Dead dogs are everywhere.  Packs of different breeds.  Guts hanging out.  Some dogs not dead just roaming.  I'm freaking out.  Call Mr. Dazee, scream that there are dead dogs and I'm scared to come home.  He tells me to buck it up and come home.  

Because in dreamland, you flit from one place to another, I was home.  Going to take a shower.  Had to walk through one toilet room (I know, huh), to get to the other "real" bathroom.  As I go to turn on the light, there is poop smeared all over the switch.  Freak out, head to the sink.  (I'm blaming this one on Drazil for telling us about her husbands work in the prison and what the inmates do with their poo)  Damn you Drazil.

Mr. Dazee is telling me that we have to leave "right now".  I'm naked.  Tells me to throw a towel around me, we need to go.  And because I have the Calista Flockhart body, the towel definitely fits around my body.  He starts driving like a maniac.  We drive through a park, on the grass, and he stops like the stunt drivers do, in front of a gun store.  We go in.  He starts giving shit to the owners.  Tells me, they won't sell me a rifle.  They start telling him to calm down.  They were going to sell him a gun, I just needed to be there with him.  Yeah, because, I have my ID with me, hidden somewhere on my body, while trying to keep the towel around me.  They were also selling guns to young boys.  Like 12 year olds.  But they were giving Mr. Dazee shit.  

And then my alarm really did go off.  I couldn't get out of bed.  Laid there for quite a while trying to make sense of everything that had just happened.  I feel like I spent the night at a movie theater.  I'm tired.  

Please discuss amongst yourselves, and let me know what you think.  Ok, I give you permission to tell me I'm a whack job.  Just be nice about it.  :)

Once Upon a Winter Night Dreamy

Can I just say, my subconscious was working overtime last night in dreamland to analyze the day I had yesterday.

First of all I want to put out this question, how does a blanket go from this (not my bed, thank you google)

 To this (again, not my blanket, well it could be but duh people it's outside)

 That is how I woke up this morning.  Wrapped in my blanket like that.  Of course I was having weird dreams, so no wonder.

I dreamed that I wanted something from the candy bar machine.  Granted, we have no candy bar machine at work, but I was dreaming.

 You know how you put your money in the machine, you look at your choices, you make your selection, it starts rolling, rolling, rolling, its starts to fall off and THEN STICKS!!!  And then you go, oh sure, I guess I'll buy the item behind it because it looks good too.  So I did that in my dream, and it stuck also.  There was also a left over amount of change to use in the machine so I just kept pushing buttons.  Nothing was falling to the promised land below.  I stuck my arm up to "make it fall" and I tell you, I hit the freaking motherload of goodies.  My only question is, WHAT THE HECK HAPPENED DURING THE DAY TO MAKE ME DREAM ABOUT THIS????

Later in dreamland, I was accosted by the company I work for hiring back a girl that just up and quit on them a few years back.  Now, I know why this one happened.  Because yesterday was a day from hell at work.  People getting hired back after being fired is nothing new here.  I would never hire this girl back.  I threatened to quit over her.  So yeah, welcome creepy woman to my dream.  I know you are wondering why The Hunger Games books are pictured here.

Well, you see.  Machaelle gave me a gift card to Barnes and Noble.  I ordered the above pictured books.  Adam asked me yesterday if I had read them yet.  I said I was on page 3 or 4.  Shut up, I have blog posts to write.....  Anyreadinglater, because I am the ever, try to get along with everyone to the detriment of myself person, I asked the hired back girl if she had read them.  She said she hadn't but would like to.  Well, by darn, I told her that I would let her borrow them when I was done.  W.T.H.  Have I lost it!!!

Please send help.

On an extremely good note, look what showed up to me in a surprise box on the transfer truck from Machaelle.........lemon bars.  I heart you!!!!!

And on the "co-workers" I have to deal with front, this is what was on my whiteboard this morning when I got to work.   You so wish you worked here, don't you.....


Must go now.  I have a lemon bar to enjoy.

I'm In Your Dreams....Sweet

Noelle, from Because Nice Matters left me a comment today.  She let us all on to the secret of her pregnancy earlier this month.  All of us that have been pregnant, know that we have some really strange dreams while with child.   She knows my extreme love for Shemar.  I don't know how.  Must be my constant talking about him.  Anycommentway, here is what she said. "Here's a story for you. The other night I had a dream and your boyfriend was in it. He and I were hiking somewhere and I got stuck on a ledge and he was trying to rescue me. While stuck on that ledge I told him all about you and how you lived really close by and that I wanted to go to your house once I was unstuck. He agreed and was talking about how he would surprise you by kissing you. I woke up en route to your house...I had to pee. It was close miss dazee, really close!"  

Is that just the best dream a friend could have!  Of course, preggo peeing had to get in the way of my kiss!!

Thanks Noelle.  You made my day.  I totally needed it too, with all this snow that babysister is praying for.  Would you please talk to her about that.  Thanks

What, What, What Does It Mean

 

I had a movie like dream last night.  Not that this in unusual for me.   When I "watch a movie" during my sleep time, I wake up pretty tired in the morning.  Would you like to "see" my dream.  Grab some popcorn and a soda, sit back in your comfy recliner and enjoy. The scene starts with me at home, talking to my kids.  Off I go to a place of business.  What said business does, I have no clue, but hell, I'm there.  All of the sudden I remember that I have an appointment with my OB.  Why you ask?  Because I'm freaking pregnant!!(1)  What the?  Grab my cell phone and purse, head out the door, pull the "where in the hell did I park my car" moment, looking, looking, looking.  Holy crap, my car is gone!  No freaking way.  Someone has stolen my grandma car.  Run inside, screaming.  "SOMEONE STOLE MY CAR"!!!!  Call my hubby.  He in turn calls Brooklyn(2) and off they go to find my car. 15 minutes until my appointment.  I've set my appointment card down somewhere.  I ask nicely, has anyone seen my card.  No, they haven't.  Then I say, "well, I need to call and tell them I'm going to be late because you know how those doctors are about missing an appointment".  Ignore, Ignore.  I scream at the top of my lungs, I need a phone book.  Still, ignoring me.  Fine, I decide to just call information to get the number.  Call them, tell them the doctors name, "we have no such listing for that name".  What the?  But I have an appointment card (that I can't find) with his name on it.(3) Meanwhile, a lady that used to live by us in our old house came in with a bunch of stuff that she was going to do an exhibit on.  She was all prim and proper.(4)  Started telling me to get my stuff out of her road.  Acted all put out by me being there.   Try calling the hubby, he's not answering his phone.   And then.......my alarm went off.   What do you think it all means? (1)  whenever I dream I'm pregnant, someone I know is pregnant.  Please spill it if it is you. :)(2) Brooklyn of mouse catcher extraordinaire & prankster.(3)  My OB died about 15 years ago.  He wasn't old, he got throat cancer and yes, I totally had a crush on him.(4) She does a show on public broadcasting on MANNERS.  Yup, you got it right.  I was switching channels one Sunday when I was bored and there she was, teaching us good manners when going out to dinner.  I know huh.