And Then I Became Really Angry

Remember when I wrote this post about how upset I was with the hospital the day of my mom's surgery?  

I have come to the conclusion that there are some people in the health care profession that shouldn't be there.   In the good old days, when dinosaurs roamed the earth, and I was a wee elementary school aged child, there was a thing called COMPASSION.  I remember our doctor would make house calls.  They cared about you.  Even better, the nursing staff was wonderful. 

Now don't get me wrong, there are a lot of nurses that will go over and above the call of duty.  Like Kimberly at All Work And No Play Makes Mommy Go Something Something.  Here is a health care professional that was trying to help save someones life and got hurt in the process.  Only to have the hospital where she worked make her life a living hell, and now is in constant pain from the back injury.  

We need more people like her.  

My mom was supposed to be FINALLY getting her hip ball and socket put back in today.  It was cancelled.  They have been giving her blood thinners since her last surgery and, oh my goodness, her blood is too thin to do the surgery.  What?  Really?  Then why didn't you take her off the freaking cumin or cuminden or whatever the hell it is called a couple of days ago?  Now my mom has to wait 5 more days.

Why is this a big deal you ask?  Because, there are people in the health care field that shouldn't be.  I don't even know why there are nurses anymore.  From what I can see, the only thing they have to do is give out the pills and change dressings.

The rest of the care is now done by the CNA's.  As in all things, there are good and there are bad.   My mom has had her share of the bad, and it makes it a little bit worse because SHE HAS NO FREAKING HIP!!!!!  What part of that do these health care providers not understand.  It's like her leg is just hanging there.  It hurts when she moves it.  Why?  Because it is pulling on all the muscles and tendons and such.


Another thing that is really truly bothering me.  Health care providers are used to urine and poop.  To them it is no big deal.  Human anatomy and all that.  

Most people have dignity and find this to be something they don't want to have people help them do.  Especially their children.   When you have to go, you have to go.  When you don't answer the "call button" people will try to get there.  This one CNA has been a totally rotten person when treating my mom.  I wasn't there the last time, but my brother was.  They pushed the call button and no one came.  Finally mom sent him out to find someone.  He came back and said, she said she couldn't come right now she was doing something else.  My mom said, I have to go.  We are not talking peeing people.  She has come to the point that she will just do that in the depends if she has to.  My brother had to help her in to the wheelchair, get her into the bathroom, help her get out of the depends and get on the toilet.  FINALLY Miss Don't Bother Me With Your Bathroom Problems, came in and starting getting mad at my mom.  "I can't just drop everything whenever you need something".

My mom has finally had enough.  To her, it is one thing to have her daughters help her, but for her son to have to take part in something like this, totally upset her.  She started screaming at the girl to get the hell out of the bathroom and never come back to her room.  I'm sure the rest of the wing heard it.   I am so upset right now.  I feel it is my fault she is there.  We picked this rehab place because it was close to me, and would make it easier for me to get there everyday.  She told me she was glad I wasn't there because she knew that I would have been arrested, I would have blown a gasket.  She is also pleading with me to not yell at people today when I go over.

I won't scream, I won't yell, I can't guarantee that I won't swear.  I will talk to every administrator there today if that is what it takes.

It scares me to think that there are people there that don't have family members coming to help them.  I'm not just going to be fighting for my mom's rights today, but every patient there.

I am very grateful for the staff that has been nothing but good to my mom and the other patients.   They will get my respect, and my praises to the administrators.

The others, well, watch out.  Dazee is on the warpath!

Nothing Says Happy Holidays Like You're Fired....

I've had two long turn jobs since I graduated from high school.  The first one I was at for 23 years.  The company I worked for got bought out by a big corporation, and therefore, I was expendable because, (A) I was a women, but (B) I made too much money.  So sorry, we are reducing our force.

The second one, was the dear sweet you are so important to us  you're fired because you hate your job, was a 10 year waste of my time place.  

In each of these cases, I was layed off a week before Thanksgiving.  Yes, both times.  

Why do I bring this up?  We have a TV station here.  KTVX, which is the local ABC network.  Apparently they got bought out, and this week they have "layed off" around 20 of their employees.  Honest to Pete, CEO's and owners of companies, cough, BF owner of last company I worked for, cough, have no compassion.   The holidays are supposed to be times of joy and wonder.  Not pain and wondering what you are going to do.

All I can hope, is karma takes a big ole chunk off their butts sometime.  

Because of the article in the paper about the lay off's, Mr. Dazee wrote a little jingle.  I just had to share it with you.  It is to the tune of "God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen"

~ God rest ye weary gentlemen

upon this winters day...

Remember corporate CEO's

will send you on your way...

With greed and cuts and pink slips

you'll be on your weary way...

O-O' tidings of comfort and joy

comfort and joy

O-O' ti-i-dings of com-um-fort and joy. ~

*Tis the season to be fired, Fa-la-la-la-la....la-la-la-la...*

Merry Christmas to all, and to all good luck

Sung by the Hostess Cupcake Singers

Duh.....What Should We Do For Our Date?

On Saturday afternoon, the Walmart that I shop at had a hazmat situation.

A 20 year old boyfriend and girlfriend were bored.  I kind of imagine their conversation went something like this.  

"Hey Thelma Lou, what should we do tonight"

"Oh I don't know Cletus, I have some pepper spray in my purse, lets go to Walmart and spray it"

"Golly gee Thelma Lou, that sounds like a rip roaring good time".

And so they did.  You can read the story here.  Unless you don't want to, then I will give you my own spin on it.

Stupid dumb asses went in, started walking between the food and clothing aisles, spraying said pepper spray.  All of the sudden, people were coughing and gagging.  They evacuated the store.  Over 80 people were treated, got to try out the cool Hazmat shower you off system, and were released.  All but 2 people that ended up in the hospital for an over night visit.

Being that they are not so smart on the brain scale, they didn't realize that Walmart has a pretty good security system.  Camera's all over the store.  And in the parking lot.  They got a rather good photo of them.

Too bad, so sad for them, Cletus's, in the cowboy hat, parents were watching the news that night.  Being the responsible souls that they are, they called the police.  Oh yes, they were at home with his folks when the police showed up.  "But occifers, we were just bored, we just did it as a joke"  

Guess they weren't laughing  on the way to jail that night.

Cletus is charged with one count of second degree felony terroristic threats and causing a catastrophe, three counts of third degree felony aggravated assault, 81 counts of class B misdemeanor assault and one count of third degree felony obstructing justice. He’s in the Salt Lake County Jail on $75,000 bail.

Thelma Lou  is charged with one count each of class B misdemeanor assault and third degree felony obstructing justice. She is out of the Salt Lake County Jail on pre-trial release.

I just have one question for them.

Was it worth it?

OMG.......It Can't Be

I will be the first to admit,  I'm addicted to the case of missing mother Susan Cox Powell.

Here's the thing.  I'm sure you have all heard about Josh Powell and his missing wife, "that he didn't have anything to do with her becoming missing".  Then he just couldn't go on because his kids were taken away because his father is a sick and wrong voyeur.   So he used an ax on his sons and blew up his house, killing them all.  

The newest news is that his voyeuristic father has been found guilty of said crime.  He can get up to 70 years for his behavior.  I just know that the judge will take pity on him and probably give him 5 years or something.  

Did you hear he wrote a song to his missing and presumed dead daughter-in-law?  It's called, I'm Missing You.  Here is the chorus.

I can love you in a secret way.

I can love you each and every day.

There is nothing I can't see

There is nothing You can't be.

It's not perfect, but I'm missing you!

If you want to hear the sicko sing some of the song, click this link.  Go over to the left hand side and there is a little snippet for you.  I'm pretty sure Bubba is going to be singing this to Steven a lot.  hahahaha, ok, one can wish.  I have to admit, I came up with my own verses that Bubba or Steven will be singing to each other.   You're a little scared of me now, aren't you.

Here is the next scary thing about the Powell family.  On the news the other night they had a story about Josh's sister Alina.  She is delusional in thinking that her dad and brother have done nothing wrong.  She is trying to prove that Susan Cox got along just fine with her dad.  

They showed a photo of her.  

Alina Powell

I don't know about you, but she reminds me of.... 

Kathy Bates in Misery

Hmmmm, makes you kind of wonder where Josh got the idea about using the ax on his kids.........

Kind of scary, isn't it.

What In The Freak Is That???????

Have you ever pulled up behind a car at a light, looked at the head hanging out the window and remarked   screamed out to your husband. WHAT THE FREAKING HELL IS THAT!!!!

Mr. Dazee thought

Harry Henderson

While scrambling to get my camera out of my purse, I'm yelling

 "its a bison"

Here it is

People, it was the scariest looking thing I have ever been behind.  My friend Christy thought maybe it was a mastiff dog.  Having no dog knowledge, I looked it up.

WTF!!!!!!

Here is a harry one.

But "the thing" had tons of hair, and a did not look like a dog.

 Must.....go......to......my......happy......place.......

help.......me

What Clown College Did You Come From?

After sitting down and watching the 9:00 PM early news (because, I'm an olster and fall asleep early), I just had to bring up a point of interest, to you, my adoring fans.

WEATHERMEN

Do they go to some kind of clown college?  Is there a code of weirdness that they have to follow?  Maybe I just need to get a life, but honestly, most of the MEN weather people I watch, on any channel, are strange, wacky, and weird.  Now, Steve Martin, I would love to have him as my weatherman to watch.  Why, because he is natural, he doesn't have to "try" to be funny.  

And while I'm on the "what bothers me about local news" rant, lets talk about the talk between the dude covering the "Breaking News" story, and the anchor back at the station.  

Tonight's breaking news, a fire at the LDS Conference Center.  Yeah, that could be bad. But the sprinkler system got the fire out pronto, before the fire department got there, but there was extensive water damage from said sprinkler system.  Reporter interviews the Fire dude.  Fire dude does a good job of telling us all that he knows right now.  Even I, got it the first time.  Reporter then asks the same question, 2 or 3 times, in a different way, but the same freaking question.  I'm screaming at my TV, asked and answered, asked and answered!!!!!!

Meanwhile he FINALLY throws it back to the studio.  Male anchor, "so, reporter dude, did the fire person just say that there is water damage".  What the hell!!!    I don't know, I didn't hear it the 3 TIMES ALREADY.  Breathing, breathing.  

Don't even get me going on the talk between the male anchor and the weatherman.  I'm trying hard to get that vision out of my brain.

Oh No She Di'int

Friends, Romans Enemies & Countrymen, lend me your eyes.  

My mind is all a'twitter with thoughts today.  So, being the kind, generous, thoughtful soul that I am, I will be sharing them with you.  

First of all, you really need to go check out Opto-Mom's Unvirtual Reality.  She just started a new blog where she will tell us in her own words all about what is happening in the Reality World.  Right now she is discussing The Bachelor.  I don't watch this show, because well, he makes out with everyone.  Ick.  I don't want to watch that.  But I am IN THE KNOW because I read her blog.  She freaking cracks me up.  Go on over and check her out.  The link I made is for last weeks show.  oh my.  Be ready to LOL.

Moving on

Last summer I took this shot of a cake at our local Smiths (Kroger).  My daughter-in-law was with me and we both gave each other that "look of WTH"?

Whatever it is, I sent it off to the Cake Wrecks website and I'm still hoping they use it.  Because really, there is nothing like a bikini with whip cream and a cherry on top that begs to be eaten.  

Lastly, but certainly the biggest travesty of the day is boyfriend.  Did you know he was on Ellen yesterday.  Did you know that I emailed Ellen begging for her to just have him call me and say, "Hey Baby Girl".  Do you think she did?  NO!  But, oh, he was on her show yesterday.  He came out dancing and pulled his shirt up (be still my beating heart) and then, then, *big sigh* a studio audience beotch woman got to come on down and do a guessing game.  Here it is for you to feast your eyes on.

OMG, did you see that kissing?  I hate her.  OK, hate is a strong word.  Just because she was lucky enough to be in the audience, I'm so, so sad.  *big, huge, tears*

I will forgive you this one time Shemar.  I'm sure Ellen made you do it.  I know you told her "I can't do that to Dazee", but it's her show so her rules.

Just a reminder.  

I Spy is Thursday, with the prompts Date(s) and Your Choice.

What The Frack is Friday.  

Come on over and link on up.

Stupid, Dumb, Captains

I really want to go on a cruise, but I'm thinking I better find out about the captain first.

Today I'm Kind Of Scared

As of today, I have 4 more days of Health Insurance Coverage.  

I have Type 1 Diabetes

I DON'T think it is socialist to have health care coverage FOR EVERYONE.  

But by damn, everyone has the right to own a gun.

That does me no effing good.

Unless of course I want to use that gun to go FIND me some insulin

This Maxine clip is great.  I just changed the wording a little bit.

Hey, Kimberly or Joey, can I come live with you???

Flasher On The Loose

Here is the City Of Salt

There is a flasher on the loose.  Described as an older, bald, not thin man, hiding up in the trees in the local Millcreek Canyon, jumping up and showing off to the hikers/bikers/runners.

This morning on the news, they called him a serial flasher.  

(because he keeps doing it)

You all know that I just can't leave it at that.

My warped, weird mind actually SAW the following picture.

(please disregard my bad photo shopping skills)

Poor innocent cereal boxes.  They just don't deserve that.

If you happen to buy a box of cereal that is having problems.  Just talk to it.  Let it know it's all right.  It will soon be going to a better place.  

Give Me A Effing Break!!!!

Just opened up our new medical insurance packet.  To say that I am pissed is an understatement.  I realize that a lot of you don't even have medical insurance.  But hey, lets keep paying for the wars, cuz that is far more important than helping american's with health insurance.  

We got the new and improved awful insurance that is all the rage this year.  I would drop my medical insurance here at work if I could.  But being Type 1 diabetic, I need it to be able to AFFORD to get my insurance, oh and to say, STAY ALIVE.  But hey, you need to come up with $3000 out of pocket first.  

But, GOOD NEWS.  Got our newest insurance packet in the mail on friday.  Which, rant, Insurance and IRS shit always arrives on friday so you can't call and get all pissed off over the weekend.  They are hoping that you will calm down by Monday.  

On to the good news, it is now $3900.  Can they change it in the middle of the year like that?  Does anyone even care?  

A lot of republicans could give a rats ass.  Make sure we get our bombs, and shit, but to hell with you that need something TO KEEP YOU ALIVE!!!!

Calgon Take Me Away

Oh and guess what else.  Remember the post I did about my mom and dad being taken to the cleaners on their house.  They just got notice they have to be out in 2 to 3 days.

What a freaking crock of shit!!!!

Fester The Fly

It is fall here in the Northern Hemisphere.  Which means, the flies are trying to get in out of the cool air outside into the houses.  

Last year I did a post on the Kamikaze Fly.  Good times.

Today I will be talking about the recent adventures of a fly in my house.  Granted, it could be more than one fly, but go with me here.  

In order to enlighten you on the life span of the common house fly, check this out.  Needless to say, they know their days are numbered.  

The following is about Fester the Fly.  

I can't rightly tell you when Fester appeared in Casa Dreamer.  He was a pesky little thing that saw a moment and took it, shot right in a door that was opening and closing.  After casing the joint, he decided that he was going test out a few things.  

"What's this?", Fester exclaims. "Mr. Dazee is putting something in the microwave".  "I think I will slip on in there and see what it feels like".  (Mr. Dazee did not realize a fly had flown in there).  After retrieving said item from the microwave, Mr. Dazee told me that a fly came flying out of the microwave when he opened the door.  "Apparently a fly can withstand a microwave", was his statement to me.  I have to admit, I was half expecting to see Fester flying and then BAM, blow up in mid flight.  It wasn't to be.

Fester continued his flight patterns during the night.  After sluggishly making my way into the bathroom this morning, I spied Fester roaming the toilet seat.  Walking around and around and around.  I kindly swished my hand to get him to move and tried not to fall asleep while sitting there.  That damn Fester, he kept flying at my back side.  I slowly made my way to brush my teeth, once again taking a gander at the toilet seat.  There was Fester walking around.  I honestly heard his little brain saying, "if I just take the big plunge, it would be so nice".  

Yes Fester, it would.  And if you are still on toilet duty when I get off of work, I will be helping you take the big jump. 

Just sayin.

Don't Ever Have Dreams During The "Witching" Hour

Have you ever watch Paranormal State on TV and Ryan will say, "we are now going into the witching hour", which is supposedly 3:00 AM.  So being the ever scardy cat that I am, I try not to "be awake" during that time.  

Welcome to last night.  Had to get up at 3 because, well, my toilet was calling my name.  Had to go see what in the hell it was making all that racket about.  Stumbled back into bed, and started thinking, great, it's the witching hour.  Makes it kind of hard to go back to sleep.  After what felt like FOREVER, I began dreaming.  If you have any suggestions as to what you think it all means, let me know.  Unless all you have to say is, Dazee, you are weird.  This I already know.

At first, I was sleeping, in a bed, at a neighbors house, on their deck.  I hear dogs barking but not enough to wake me up.  All of the sudden, without hearing my phone ring, or me answering it, I hear one of my friend's voices calling out.  DAZEE, DAZEE, CAN YOU HEAR ME, DAZEE, WHERE ARE YOU.  Grab my phone, start talking and then she was like, "just calling to see if you are ok".  Umm, yeah, except you woke me up.  Sit up in bed, it is light outside all of the sudden, look over the deck and there is carnage below.

Dead dogs are everywhere.  Packs of different breeds.  Guts hanging out.  Some dogs not dead just roaming.  I'm freaking out.  Call Mr. Dazee, scream that there are dead dogs and I'm scared to come home.  He tells me to buck it up and come home.  

Because in dreamland, you flit from one place to another, I was home.  Going to take a shower.  Had to walk through one toilet room (I know, huh), to get to the other "real" bathroom.  As I go to turn on the light, there is poop smeared all over the switch.  Freak out, head to the sink.  (I'm blaming this one on Drazil for telling us about her husbands work in the prison and what the inmates do with their poo)  Damn you Drazil.

Mr. Dazee is telling me that we have to leave "right now".  I'm naked.  Tells me to throw a towel around me, we need to go.  And because I have the Calista Flockhart body, the towel definitely fits around my body.  He starts driving like a maniac.  We drive through a park, on the grass, and he stops like the stunt drivers do, in front of a gun store.  We go in.  He starts giving shit to the owners.  Tells me, they won't sell me a rifle.  They start telling him to calm down.  They were going to sell him a gun, I just needed to be there with him.  Yeah, because, I have my ID with me, hidden somewhere on my body, while trying to keep the towel around me.  They were also selling guns to young boys.  Like 12 year olds.  But they were giving Mr. Dazee shit.  

And then my alarm really did go off.  I couldn't get out of bed.  Laid there for quite a while trying to make sense of everything that had just happened.  I feel like I spent the night at a movie theater.  I'm tired.  

Please discuss amongst yourselves, and let me know what you think.  Ok, I give you permission to tell me I'm a whack job.  Just be nice about it.  :)

When Automated Phone Systems Go Bad

I can't stand automated phone systems, heretofore to be known as APS.  Honestly, they drive me nuts.  I had the "conversation" from hell last night.  

Dazee:  *fingers dialing customer service number*

APS:  Thank you for calling XYZ company.  

Si usted desea escuchar esta en espanol, pulse numero dos.

(disclaimer, I just went to the english to spanish translator on the internet, don't give me crap if this is wrong)

Dazee:  waiting, waiting.

APS:  Ok, before we get started, tell me the reason you are calling

Dazee:  Customer Service

APS:  I'm sorry, I didn't understand that.

Let's try this again.

You can say, recent history, or press 1

Account balance, or press 2

Add to account, or press 3

Technical support, or press 4

Dazee:  Customer Service please

APS:  I'm sorry, I didn't understand, lets try again,

blah, blah, blah, or blah

Dazee:  REAL PERSON

APS:  I'm sorry, since you won't answer my question, I'm hanging up.

Dazee:  What the %^&*!!!!!!!

Dazee:  *fingers madly dialing phone number*

Repeat process

APS:  I'm sorry, since you won't answer my question, I'm hanging up.

Dazee:  Well you freaking piece of shit garbage, I'm going to hunt you down and hurt you.

Dazee:  *Dialing for the 3rd time, ready for a fight*

APS:  blah, blah, blah

Dazee:  *pushing number 3*  (just because, don't judge)

APS:  Ok, so you want to know who shot the sheriff, press 1 for yes and 2 for no.

Dazee:  *presses 2*

Going through the process yet again.

APS:  I'm sorry, since I couldn't help you, I will forward you to a real, live, breathing body, and if you are lucky it will be a voice you can understand.

Dazee:  About freaking time, you rat.

APS:  This call may be monitored for security or training purposes.

Dazee:  Good, cuz I'm super pissed and I'm going to hurt someone.

Real Live Person:  Blah, blah, blah.  

Dazee:  I can't get this to do that

RLP:  Let's do this and this.  Is that working?

Dazee:  Yes, thank you.  Can I make a complaint while I'm on the phone:

RLP:  Of course.

Dazee:  Your automated phone system is a piece of shit garbage and wouldn't let me tell it, Customer Service, Real Person, Give me a real freaking person now (yes, I said that once, but not the nice "freaking" word)

And then, APS told me that since I WOULDN'T ANSWER HER QUESTION, SHE WAS HANGING UP.  Twice!!!!!

RLP:  We just barely changed to a new automated phone system this week.  (just my luck)  I've been getting complaints all week about this problem.  We are trying to get technical support to take care of it as fast as possible.  

Dazee:  Well, that's good, because I was about to cause major mayhem.

Really, if you have to have those aggravating piece of crap phones systems, have a freaking option that says,

IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO TALK TO A REAL LIVE BREATHING BODY, PLEASE PRESS ZERO

Going to my happy place

Aaaaaaahhhhhhh

Ok, So She's A Little Upset

Once upon a time there was a man.  He for some reason pissed off his wife.  

This is why he never should have done that.

And you thought you were having a bad day.

A Conversation

OJ:  Casey girl, listen to me.  You can do this.  I'll learn ya the ropes.

Casey:  But OJ, I don't think I can get away with it.

OJ:  Jury's are stupid folk. 

Casey:  OK, here I go.

Casey:  I did it, I did it, now what?

OJ:  Just hang around and lie.  You're in Florida, hell, they played golf with me after I fled left California.

Casey:  OK, what about the lawyers.

OJ:  There are plenty of rat bastards out there, they will flock to you.

Casey:  Thanks OJ.

OJ:  And for the love of football, DO NOT SHOW ANY EMOTION.  

Casey:  Got it.

THE JURY OF YOUR PEERS, (DUI charges, Drug Charges, One beat up her own father with her boyfriend and did jail time)  

FIND YOU, CASEY ANTHONY

NOT GUILTY OF THE CRIME OF MURDER OR CHILD ABUSE

but

You are guilty of lying to the authorities.

Casey:  hehehehe, I knew these were the best jurors ever!

I'm a little upset as you can tell.  Beautiful children are being abused and killed every day.  I don't get it.  I also don't understand how someone would be found not guilty of killing or abusing a child, but by darn, we'll get her on the lying.  My question.  If she didn't do the crime, what would she have been lying about?  Moving on.

I really want to be driving

The Karma Bus, just sayin'

And now, I must go to my happy place

(yes babysister, it's him again)

What Were They Thinking......?

This is your car.........

This is your car on crack...........

Any Questions?

This public service message brought to you today by

Dude, what are all these cutout's in the road, and why are there orange and white things around them?

Photo taken by my very own camera Friday June 17, 2011 during lunch.  

I Just Became A Germaphobe

I've never been one to fret too much about germs.  You know, grab paper, no problem.  Handle money, no problem.  But yesterday, was a kind of day that you have to rethink what you are doing.

First off, a friend was telling me about her relative that is a cat lady.  Not a ton, but "right now" only 3.  Said relative would separate the cats into different rooms if they didn't get along.  Now, she isn't a "hoarder" type cat lady.  Her house is spotless.  You wouldn't even know that she had cats, it's that clean. 

Anycatloverlater, last week one of her cats died.  Natural causes I think.  Who knows, could have maybe called in my boyfriend to solve it, but, well, it's a cat.  Relative is devastated.  Which I can understand.  We had our 2 cats 18 and 19 years.  Its a horrible loss to lose a member of your family.  Relative had cat approximately 5 to 6 years.  The loss is more than she can handle. 

Did she have the cat cremated?  No.  Did she bury it?  No.  She thinks the ground is too frozen right now.  Do you know where her cat is?

Tucked away nicely in her freezer. 

Excuse me a minute while I throw up. 

By the way, the ground is not too frozen, even tho we have had nothing but rain and snow all month.  Weeds are growing in my backyard.  That means, prime bury the cat weather.  Just sayin.  I honestly would never be able to go pull something out of the freezer ever again if one of my cats was being kept hostage frozen in there.  Especially if the cat IS STILL IN THERE!  No, you grab that pound of hamburger.  I'll just avert my eyes for a minute.

(going to my happy place)

But if you think that is bad, here is the big, super reason I have decided that I just can't be a fancy free person anymore.  Show up to work yesterday.  My morning routine begins by me making a cup of Peaches and Cream Instant Oatmeal.  (yum)  While it is getting thick, I go out to our counter area and grab the paperwork from the afternoon before  Are you still with me here?  Its gets better.  (or not)

I grab the pick tickets out of the basket.  My thumb connects with something gooey.  I start to freak out. 

Beg one of the guys to please take his glove and wipe off whatever it is.  He takes a look and starts gagging.  Not looking favorable.  He won't do it, but he did grab some paper towels and wiped it off as we both threw up a little.

I decided that immediate action was required.  Thank goodness we have latex gloves for the plumbers.  (well, ummm, yeah, I wouldn't want to be changing out someones toilet that I didn't know)  The fine, outstanding counter guy that gagged along with me decided I needed a whole box.  They are now in my desk. :)

(Why yes, that's a rubber finger, a girl just can't have enough protection)

Notice and remember how white these germ savers are.

Now, ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I show you the following Exhibits

Close up of the biggest, gooeyiest spot. 

 No, you don't get the full beautiful grossed out effect that I got.  But still.

A smaller even hard to see spot of goo.

 I wore both gloves whenever touching the pick tickets or receivers (packing slips)  I always knew that my hands got dirty.  After doing them, I will wash my hands and to say the amount of dirt that comes off of them is, ummm, bad.

Exhibit C shows the amount of "dirt" I got yesterday.  Again, picture doesn't do it justice.

Oh, and now, my boss thinks I'm a freaking loon.  Ok, he already kind of knew that, but he walked in to give me some paperwork while I was taking the above picture.  Oops.  But even funnier?  He came in earlier to have me write a check.  I was working away with my protection.  He said, "looks serious".  I told him all about the gooey mess and then I think he threw up a little in his mouth.  I went to hand him a pen because the check required 2 signatures, and my glove touched his hand.  He was like, "oh no, you touched me with your gross glove".  ahahahahahah, hehehehehe.  Poor guy, NOT. 

After talking with the dude in charge of deliveries, and by the signature of who delivered it, ie: scaryman, we just couldn't decide if he hawked a loogie, or did one of his famous snot rockets.  I've never seen him hawk a loogie, but have witnessed the fine gross job he does on the snot rockets. 

One moment please, gag, gag, gagging some more.

All better now.

And this is why I have become a germaphobe.

Being Stuck In An Elevator - My Greatest Fear EVER

I was watching the news this morning as I was getting ready for work.  On the station that I watch, they will show articles by Jeanne Moos of CNN.  I usually like them.  This morning she did a report on a guy that got stuck in an elevator years ago for 41 hours, and how David Letterman did a spoof on it.  The following video is "part" of what she showed.  WARNING, PLEASE DO NOT WATCH THIS IF YOU GET GROSSED OUT EASILY.  And yes, he got an undisclosed amount of money from the building.  I feel soooooo sorry for this guy. This is one of the biggest fears in life that I have.  I am kind of ok if there is someone I know in the elevator with me.  If there is a stranger, I'm weirded out.  Well, if it's a stranger, they could murder me and that is another fear I have.  Being murdered.  ****going to my happy place**** My diabetes doctor is on the 3rd floor of a medical building.  I think my blood pressure goes up just getting on the elevator.  I know, I know, I could do the healthy thing and walk up 3 FREAKING FLOORS OF STAIRS, but then my blood pressure would be even worse.  Until I reach the floor and I'm safely out of the metal room of hell, I'm a bundle of nerves.   Maybe I need to start carrying a huge ole purse.  Filled with, some kind of container to do bathroom duties in, a roll of toilet paper, a book, some water, some munchies, a pen to write my last will and testament, which might just be somewhere on the pages of said book.  Hmmm, a backup battery for my cell phone, but with my luck there won't be reception for said phone.  (OMG, my heart is racing just thinking about this.  Breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out.  I'm at my happy place.  Alejandro is bringing me a strawberry daiquiri.  The breeze is making the palm trees fan my skinny body as I soak up the sun.  Hey, it's my happy place, I can be anything I want to be.) And I'm back.    What is your biggest fear?

That's The Night The Lights Were Out

Yee-Haw.  The weekend is over and I'm so excited to go back to work today.   I'm delirious, like I would ever think that way. 

Saturday night we were watching my daughters kids while they went on a date.  It's getting to be bedtime.  9:00 PM and Mr C promptly falls asleep on the couch while watching Back To The Future.  That's a great movie by the way.  Miss L gets tired and we go lay down on my bed because I said she could sleep with me all night.  She promptly falls asleep. 

Now, 3 year old Miss A, she's not tired.  Damn those late naps that 3 years old take.  I take pity on hubby and send him to bed.  I join her on the couch.  11:50 comes and she is still awake.  Mom and dad get home, are surprised she's still awake, but loves transpires and they head downstairs.  Dad will be back upstairs to get Mr C.  I go check to make sure the garage door is locked. 

Que the scary music.........All the lights are off.....I start heading from the kitchen to the bedroom.........then it happens.........FACE PLANT INTO THE WALL!!!!!  Hard......yell out in pain......surprised the house didn't tumble to the ground.  NO ONE COMES TO MY RESCUE.  What the?  Stumble to the bedroom, in pain, head pounding, nose not bleeding, toe beating in pain.  Climb into bed and fall asleep.

Scene Two.....Wake up Sunday morning.  Head in to make coffee for me and the hubby.  Eat our breakfast, I ask nonchalantly, didn't you hear me trying to break the house last night?  No he says.  WTH!!!  I take him over to the wall to show him where I hit.  Ok, I wanted to see if there were any cracks.  Lo and Behold, this is what we beheld.

Yes dear peeps.  Thanks to the oils on my face, this is what was on the wall.  You will notice the side of my forehead that hit, my nose, and then my lips.  Oh, in person the lips look just like my lips.  Luscious, kissable, wait...sorry.  Also, notice how close I was to not hitting the wall.  And no, the wall and corner are not different colors, I had to darken up the photo around my beautiful face so you could see it. 

You totally want to live with me.  Don't lie.