Showing posts with label Workmares. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Workmares. Show all posts

Tuesday, March 20, 2012

Liar! Liar! Pants On Fire




Today, I am going to tell you all a story about Chrissann and Doughboy.  Yes, I know that I no longer work with these fine specimen of menhood, but hey, I still have ways of finding out their lies.  That's what a good P.I. like myself does.  

First of all Chrissann (not his real name) worked in credit.  He became all hot and bothered one day because the salesmen were not filling out job accounts right.  So he took around the new credit application "that he had written himself".  Too funny that it said, "please fax this back to Chrissann in credit".  Hmmm last time I checked there wasn't a Chrissann in credit.  

l i a r!!!!!
I was told a little story recently about Chrissann telling someone in the office that a person in another location had called HIM, to put pressure on this person in the office to get her to do some work because other location person needed something to do.  R.I.G.H.T.  Because A, said other person would never call you over that, and B, she would have called the person directly.
liar!!!!!
I detest people like him.  But he is a much better person to keep around than me.  
Just sayin'.

Doughboy.  Mr., I try to make you think I'm smarter than I really am, I.T. guy.
Oh, and just so you know, we were woman, so therefore we will never be as smart as me.  

Female in the office is having problems with her phone.  She calls Doughboy.  He thinks she is just not smart enough to figure it out.  That's funny doughboy, both me and her were smarter than you.  Had to show you a few things you couldn't figure out.  But whatever floats your boat.  

So he called his good ole partner in crime, Chrissann and has him go look at her phone because, he thinks she is doing it wrong.  Give me a break.  Of course, I'm calling them both
liars!!!

I have to say, this Progressive commercial in one of my favorites right now.  I wish this kind of stuff would happen in real life.  

Yeah, I still have some anger issues.  Working on them.


Monday, January 2, 2012

For The Record


For The Record
7 Weeks ago I was fired from my job.  I had been there for 10 years

For The Record
The reason that I was fired was because "YOU HATE YOUR JOB"

For the Record
I think that is not a legal reason to be fired

For The Record
I worked there for 10 years without ONE RAISE

For The Record
I loved my job.  It was like family


For The Record
If I hated my job, would I have stayed there year after year never even given a token raise

For The Record
Co-Workers that were drinking, doing drugs, and driving fork lifts, were never fired.  If they were "let go" they always talked management into hiring them back.  "I'm a changed man."

For The Record
They never changed

For The Record
When The Owner decided to go with a different health insurance plan a couple of years ago, I was promised certain things

For The Record
I never received said promises

For The Record
I am like an elephant, if you promise me something, I NEVER FORGET

For The Record
Co-workers complained wildly about the new health insurance last year.   I never said a bad thing about it to them, brought up all the good it was going to do

For The Record
When you don't make alot of money, meeting a $3000.00 deductible BEFORE insurance even kicks in, sucks ass.  And heaven help you if you have a life threatening disease

For The Record
I was a good employee.  I tried to make people smile.  I gave 110%

For The Record
I will be the best employee for whomever hires me next

For The Record
Dear Owner that fired me
You have not won the battle

For The Record
Karma is a bitch

For The Record
I have waited these 7 long weeks to get this off my chest

For The Record
I will not talk about it again

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Welcome To My Nightmare

I've gathered you all here today, to be enlightened by my mind.    hahahahaha, and if you believe that, I have a bazillion dollars in the bank.

I've had the craziest of dreams nightly lately.  Well, sit on up, grab your favorite beverage, and let me enthrall  tell you about them.  

I was sitting in the backseat of a car.  No, I don't know whose car it was, quit asking questions.
The driver was not in the car but I was looking at the car next to me.  I noticed that by the drivers door and front tire, there was a woman sleeping.  Her head was towards the back of the car.  All of the sudden I see her teeth moving, like out of her mouth.  They plop out, followed by what I can only come up with was a rat.  He grabbed her teeth and ran off.  

Now before you go running off to get me one of these,  
oooohhhh, purple****

*clearing throat*

It's ok.  No really.  You have to believe me.  I think it's because I've been reading books about murder and ghosts and rats and such.  Just sayin.

The thing is, since I was *cough* fired *cough, let go, I have been dreaming, NIGHTLY about my 2 former places of employment. 

My daughter told me that she had read somewhere, that every night before you go to sleep, you need to envision things you don't want on your brain, climbing out of your brain, on a ladder.

Something like that.  Scary I know.

I have been doing that.  Except for last night.  I was so tired, that I just flopped on the bed, and was out in about one minute.

In last nights dream, I was back at "my place of employment" but not the actual place I just got kicked out of left.  And not only that but these dreams always include former employees from both of my last 2 jobs.  Weird.  But even weirder, I keep showing up for work, as if they were just kidding.  No one will say anything, not even the managers.  In fact, my latest manager, of the male persuasion, was a female last night in the dream.  She was saying that I could work there as long as I didn't cause trouble.  

Because we all know TROUBLE is my middle name.  NOT.

Now repeat after me

Monday, November 28, 2011

Dear Cousin Eddie.............



Once upon a time, in a land far, far away, there was a Working Princess that was so awesome.  Said princess worked hard, and spent many years at her job.  23 years at the first, 10 years at the next.  

The working princess, through no fault of her own, was hit by the firing dragon at both said jobs.  Both in the Month of November, right before the holidays.  The 23 year company was bought out by a Mean Overlord, and "let her go" because she made too much money, or better known as  "reducing their force".  The Ruler of her last job, threw his mighty sword, and "let her go", because, well, according the the peasants, "she hated her job".   

Her Knight In Shining Armor took her into his arms and said that she should give his Cousin Eddie a call.  

Working Princess, wrote the following letter to Cousin Eddie.

Dear Cousin Eddie,

Have I got a job for you..........
(The starting point of his job is the 3:17 mark)

I await your arrival.

Love
The Working Princess

Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Things I'm Thankful That I Learned

How in the heck are all of you doing?  Me, you ask.  Couldn't be better.  Well, this snot that keeps building up inside my sinuses TMI could take a hike, but other than than, I'm cool.  

I want to help you all out with a few things I have learned decided that I really need to start doing in my future job.  

A:  Always, always, always, take my sick days.

I've been under the delusion that if you are a model employee and go to work even if you are sick, that you will be noted for it.  Nope, not so much.  Better to take those sick days, mostly on Monday's, and use them all up.  

B:  Take All Of My Vacation Days
If not more.  Especially if you are salary, and you are given 2 weeks, but hell, why not take 4 or more.  Don't worry, I never did.  Heck I still had some to use.  But I know of a few people that did.  But heck, they were men and respected.  (and by respect, it means because they had that male appendage)

C:  Hurry And Find Another Job That Offers Better Health Benefits
What a joke cobra is.  But then, a lot of people don't think that there are some of us that need help with health insurance.  Oh wait, that is the 1%, my bad.  Cobra would be great if you only had to pay, say $100 a month.  But no.  You can stay on your insurance plan by paying THE WHOLE PREMIUM.  In my case, that would be One Thousand Twenty Five Dollars (1025) a month please.  WTH.

Here is my exact conversation with the insurance dude yesterday.

ID:  Hi, I just needed to go over some stuff with you.
DD:  OK
ID:  This is the information on cobra.  You will be covered on your premium through the end of December.
DD:  Sweet
ID:  After that, if you want to stay on Cobra you will have to pay the whole premium at the above mentioned price.
DD:.  Right, because when you are jobless, you have that kind of money to throw around.  Lets see, do we make a house payment or an insurance payment.  hmmmmm.  
ID:  (got really quiet and indignant) Well, that is what it is.  I'm sending you the paperwork that you need to get back to us ASAP.  
DD:  Gotcha.  Thanks for calling.

The plan we were on.  One of those You have to pay a huge out of pocket deductible ($3000) before they will even start paying 80%.  Now, lets do the math. 
$1000 a month for the premium x 4 months say = $4000
It takes about 4 months for me to reach the $3000 because I'm diabetic and have insulin and other organ saving pills I have to take. = $3000

That's right, $7000 by April out of pocket.  What if I don't find a job by then?  Hmmm, too bad so sad.

But you know what.  I will find a job.  Someone is going to jump at the chance to hire me.  I have a truly positive attitude, I make friends wherever I go, and I make it to work everyday, usually early.  Who wouldn't want me.  

And that is why I'm thankful today.  Because I am going to enjoy the holidays with my family and friends.  This is not going to win me.  

Because in the words of Stuart Smalley

One more thing.  I hope you all have been taking photo's for the I Spy Meme tomorrow.
Remember, it is
THANKFUL
and
YOUR CHOICE
Let you imagination be your guide.  Just wait till you see mine.

Monday, November 21, 2011

Not Quite The Week I Expected


Today, I find myself free like a butterfly.

Joining the ranks of the unemployed.

Happy Holidays to me.

But you know what.

I have a family who loves me.

Awesome friends and relatives that love me.

I'm a survivor.  I will carry on.


Saturday, October 22, 2011

Vote For Your Favorite Caption This Photo


Time for the big vote.  

These two guys were such good sports.  I told them, when we decided on a winner, I was going to put the saying on the photo, print it out, and hang it on the wall of shame at work.   



Vote For Your Favorite.
 1. Wait, timeout. The baby just kicked
 2.Easy Fella. I know you are in to bondage, but we have to work first, play later. See ya tonight.
 3. Explaining the birds and bees is always uncomfortable no matter what their age.
 4. You're never to old to sit on daddy's lap, son
 5. Breathe in, breathe out, cough. There's no doubt about it, you're about 8 weeks pregnant hun.
 6. Santa all I really wanted was some panty hose, a knife, a tarp and some black plastic trash bags.
 7. Trust me, I am the Real Santa. Now just tell me what you want.
 8. Ventriloquist in Training
 9. That's the worst Santa outfit I've ever seen
 10. Hi Boss. I've been a good boy this year so I'm hoping for a bonus check for Christmas.



  
pollcode.com free polls 

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Caption This Photo


My good friend A Daft Scots Lass does a CAPTION THIS PHOTO every week.  If you click on her link, you can see this weeks selection.  Of course, she has little rub on tattoos of her site that she gives the winner.  I'm not awesome like her, but aspire to be.

I shot this photo from my phone yesterday as these 2 knuckleheads sat in my office.  I'm giving you all a chance to tell me what you think the caption should be.  

Just put in your comments what you come up with.   I can't wait to see what you unbelievably smart people will come up with.  

I'm thinking after I get all your answers we can put it up for a vote.  The winner could win, ummmm, something.  Might not be really super cool, but I'll think of something.

I'll give you till Friday.  That should give you time to think.

Good Luck

Friday, October 14, 2011

More Fracking Work Rants


Woo-Hoo, Bug-a-la-boo, it's Friday, Friday, what should we do.  
I tell you what we should do, we should link up with Christy and Boobies for another fabulous rant fest.  Remember at the beginning of the week, I went off on a work related rant.  Well, the last few days have given me some additional Frack Fodder.  

Dear IT guy. 
 Seriously dude.  If and when you really become part of the regular human race, it will be something.  Guess what, I know all of our phone lines are connected for all of our locations.  I know that we rock at our location in the "transfer a call to another location".  I also know, that sometimes when I've had to change the "page" on my phone to another store location to transfer a call, I don't always remember to change it back to our "page".  I also know when I make the mistake of paging over the loud speaker for someone in our location, but by damn, it really went over your locations loud speaker.

You know why you really fracking piss me off?  Because when I do that, you are on the phone within seconds ready to shove it in my face that I paged down there.  Hahaha.  are we 5?  Apparently you are.  Maybe if you would get on the real IT issues as fast as you do letting us know how dumb we are, we would have more respect for you.  Until then, frack off.  

Next.  Oh my goodness.  So I was going to my favorite of all time google images to find an image of a warehouse worker and found this picture.  Imagine my surprise and awe when I clicked on the picture to copy it to my computer.  The webpage for this picture is actually MY BLOG.  Hahaha.  I used this picture when I first started blogging.  How weird is that, and how strange that I forgot.  Ok, not strange, because I am losing my memory.  But hey.  Awesome/
Anyrantlater
Dear Warehouse Dude
Yeah, you.  Mister Negative and Awesome spoken of here.  I'm so fracking pissed about what you did to the customer yesterday, that you are now again on my fracken friday list.  I'm so glad that you decided that you would lower yourself to even help a cash sale customer.  But then, to make him take his toilet tank he just bought, down the ramp himself, that even some of our guys have a problem going down, and laughing your ass off when the tank fell off and shattered, makes me livid.   Not to mention, letting one of the other counter guys help the poor guy afterwards.  And not only did you laugh, but you fracken came in the office and were whooping and hollering about it.  Like it was such a funny thing.  I'm glad the boss was on the phone, because honestly, if he would have laughed right along with you, not enough duct tape in the world would have stopped me from telling you what I thought about you.   

Rant over.
See you again next Friday
Or Thursday for I Spy
Prompts, 
Playgrounds and Your Choice.
If you feel like making me happy and stuff.

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Monday, October 10, 2011

Give Me A Break, Give Me A Break, Break Me Off A Piece Of That Kit-Kat Bar (but only if it's white chocolate)

I'm having one of those, wish I were anywhere but here kind of days.  Which means, all the little idiosyncrasies are going to drive me nuts.  Lets discuss them, shall we.  

Mr., I will laugh after E.V.E.R.Y.  S.I.N.G.L.E. thing I say.  This person is going to push me right over the edge today.  


This person also takes a smoke break, every, 20, minutes.  I understand, there are smokers.  I get it.  But dude, how much work are you getting done.  Not much.  I've noticed your routine, work, pee, smoke, work, pee, smoke.  And leaving your cigs in your truck so you won't smoke so much?  It's not working, just thought I would let you know.


Mr. I am so awesome, and no one else here is as awesome as I.  I will also talk really super loud so you will know I am awesome.

Hello, my name is also Mr. Negative.  "Why is the sky blue", "I don't like the sky blue". 
"It needs to be green"

Mr. I can't hold my gas.  Better known to a lot of you as Scary Man.  Honestly, I like this guy, but he has a farting problem.  Let one rip right in front of a female customer the other day.  But hey, according to him, "I did sell them the faucet, didn't I".  

Most days these guys don't get to me.  Today is not one of them.  The weekend just wasn't long enough.....

Monday, August 29, 2011

Why Can't I Find The Restroom?

Another Monday.  Another week of work begins.  I've put my game face on and I'm facing the day with a dazzling smile.  

Today you are going to hear about what it takes to find the restrooms in our building.  Word to the wise.  It's not hard.  Very easy.  

Enter older man asking the question that kind of makes me want to answer in a stupid way.
"Do you have a restroom?"  No, we aren't allowed restrooms.  Just a pet peeve of mine.  Moving on.

Just about this time I come out of my office to go hit the restroom.  Since we share a wall, if I see a man headed to the restroom, I stand and chat a minute, because, well, I'm a shy pee-er.  Ok.  Gosh.

Dude starts heading down the hallway.  So I do my waiting stance.
He heads right down the hall, towards the back door there, past the restrooms and looks around the door
Seeing, the inside of the office.  
He starts heading back towards the front office.  I'm thinking, cool, I'm about to pee my pants, so I head on back.  
As I make myself comfortable, I hear dude open the door to the storage closet
Nope, no restrooms in here either.
I'm thinking as I'm listening to all the ruckus,
 "How hard was it NOT TO SEE THE RESTROOM HALL AS YOU WENT BY TWICE!!!"

So what have you learned today?
1.  When asking where a restroom is, please say, "where are you restrooms"
2.  Listen closely to instructions
3.  Look both ways when walking down a hall
4.  Restrooms are usually marked as such
5.  Dazee is a shy pee-er.

And most importantly
Dazee has her camera at ALL TIMES
and she's not afraid to use it.
:)

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Dear Workmares.......And Some Imitating......


Dear…
It's been a couple of weeks since I have done any Dear letters.  But sit down and get comfy for some letters to my fellow MALE coworkers.

ah hum (clearing of throat)

Dear Guys That Have To Outdo Each Other In The Noise Level. 
 TONE IT DOWN.  Geez.  I'm pretending trying to work here.   I understand that one of our outside salesmen is in the office, and he talks freaking loud, but you do NOT have to try to outdo him.  Honestly, I'm going deaf in here.

Speaking of loud outside salesman

Dear Outside Salesman.
Dude, CLEAN OUT YOUR EARS.  Freak, maybe you talk so loud because your ears are so full of wax and dirt that you can't hear.  Furthermore, DO NOT stand next to us girls when talking to us.  You are short.  We can see in your ears when we are sitting.  It is gross and disgusting.  How does your wife stand it?  Yuk, getting that huz feeling.  (huz description when I was a mere teenager, the rolling of the stomach which is about to spew forth its contents). 

Dear Freakoide Named Goober.
What the hell.  You decide to "call" the company phone number, when you are a mere 100 ft away in your office, instead of dialing one of our EXTENSIONS, to ask a stupid question.  Of which the question was akin to "is so and so here".  Get off your lazy butt and walk in and ask us.  Calling the phone number.  Really?

Dear Speed Message Sender On Voice Mail.
SLOW THE FREAK DOWN.  You are not trying out for a "small print at the end of any commercial" fast talker.  Especially when you are leaving a phone number.  DO NOT give it like this
9995558888 (that was super fast talking, as if you couldn't tell, just go with me on this one)
Be kind, so we don't have to listen to you ramble 2, 3, or 4  times to get the number.  
Repeat after me.
999 . . . . . 555. . . . .88..88
All of Voicemail listeners will thank you.

Dear Monotone Sales Reps.
Good heavens.  Put some pep in that talk.  There is nothing worse than listening to your "schpeal" in the same voice inflection the whole time.  Do you hear that snoring?  That is me listening to you.  Can't even imagine what it must be like to be your kid being scolded.

Dear Freaking Cancer
You suck.  You suck so bad that you have affected the life of our Fire Inspection Guy.  Who didn't let us know.  Until we had a fire alarm problem and I called at 7 in the morning and woke him up.  Then I got the bad news.  He has cancer.  His brother is taking over the business.  Do you know how badly it affects me when to hear a grown man cry.   Damn you cancer, I hate you!!!!!

Now, lets all take a breath and go on to some good letters, shall we.

Cleansing breath.........and out

Dear Gillian at A Daft Scots Lass
Would it bother you tons if I started using the word PLONKERS.  I love that word.  I love how you call us that when you are talking to us in your blog.  According to urbandictionary.com this is what it means

PLONKERS
Nursery word for poos, after the 'plonk' they make when they hit the water.
Oh look, you forgot to flush the toilet and it's full of plonkers!


Hahaha.  She's calling us pieces of poo.  I love it.  I think I will just start calling the guys at work plonkers.  It fits them to a T.

I already told you I was going to steal this word.  At least my readers know I ask permission before I just steal it.  And what is the word that I love and adore

BREASTICLES

Can you hardly stand it.  Next time I go ask for a raise in pay, I'm going to gird up by breasticles and be tough.  Yeah, watch me, I'm going to do it.  Stay away from me.  I'm a woman with guts err breasticles.

Wow, I can not even believe how liberating this post was today. 

Until next time.

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Adventures Of Scary Man

Not that scary man.  

If you are offended by smelly stories, do not continue.  You have been warned.

(my name is scary man, I have given my permission to Dazee to use my picture and tell you anything she wants about me) 
(methinks he is going to be sorry he ever gave me that kind of permission)

You've heard me talk of scary man before.  I have to admit, he is great for comic relief.  Yesterday tho, he had, shall we say, a slight huge gas problem.  H.U.G.E.  He has been known to just sit at his desk and let them rip.  He is in the main office with 3 other co-workers.  Most of the time his gasly functions are just heard but not, well, smelled.  

I was surfing the net minding my P's & Q's, working my fingers to the bone, in my own office when all of the sudden, there erupted, the stampeding of feet as people were running around, holding their noses and looking for fresh air.  The only other female co-worker was caught in the rush.  She of course, being of the female persuasion, grabbed her trusty can of air freshener, sprayed the main office and all adjoining offices, and in her own words, "sprayed his chair just for good measure".  haha.  

Then, he proceeded to inform us that he learned it from none other than his mom.   "My mom can fart on command.  She will wait until I walk by and let it rip".  Alrighty then, way to go scary man's mom.  You have trained him well.

On the next adventure of scary man, why he only has one testicle. 

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

I Just Became A Germaphobe

I've never been one to fret too much about germs.  You know, grab paper, no problem.  Handle money, no problem.  But yesterday, was a kind of day that you have to rethink what you are doing.

First off, a friend was telling me about her relative that is a cat lady.  Not a ton, but "right now" only 3.  Said relative would separate the cats into different rooms if they didn't get along.  Now, she isn't a "hoarder" type cat lady.  Her house is spotless.  You wouldn't even know that she had cats, it's that clean. 

Anycatloverlater, last week one of her cats died.  Natural causes I think.  Who knows, could have maybe called in my boyfriend to solve it, but, well, it's a cat.  Relative is devastated.  Which I can understand.  We had our 2 cats 18 and 19 years.  Its a horrible loss to lose a member of your family.  Relative had cat approximately 5 to 6 years.  The loss is more than she can handle. 

Did she have the cat cremated?  No.  Did she bury it?  No.  She thinks the ground is too frozen right now.  Do you know where her cat is?
Tucked away nicely in her freezer. 
Excuse me a minute while I throw up. 
By the way, the ground is not too frozen, even tho we have had nothing but rain and snow all month.  Weeds are growing in my backyard.  That means, prime bury the cat weather.  Just sayin.  I honestly would never be able to go pull something out of the freezer ever again if one of my cats was being kept hostage frozen in there.  Especially if the cat IS STILL IN THERE!  No, you grab that pound of hamburger.  I'll just avert my eyes for a minute.

(going to my happy place)

But if you think that is bad, here is the big, super reason I have decided that I just can't be a fancy free person anymore.  Show up to work yesterday.  My morning routine begins by me making a cup of Peaches and Cream Instant Oatmeal.  (yum)  While it is getting thick, I go out to our counter area and grab the paperwork from the afternoon before  Are you still with me here?  Its gets better.  (or not)

I grab the pick tickets out of the basket.  My thumb connects with something gooey.  I start to freak out. 
Beg one of the guys to please take his glove and wipe off whatever it is.  He takes a look and starts gagging.  Not looking favorable.  He won't do it, but he did grab some paper towels and wiped it off as we both threw up a little.

I decided that immediate action was required.  Thank goodness we have latex gloves for the plumbers.  (well, ummm, yeah, I wouldn't want to be changing out someones toilet that I didn't know)  The fine, outstanding counter guy that gagged along with me decided I needed a whole box.  They are now in my desk. :)

(Why yes, that's a rubber finger, a girl just can't have enough protection)
Notice and remember how white these germ savers are.

Now, ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I show you the following Exhibits
Close up of the biggest, gooeyiest spot. 
 No, you don't get the full beautiful grossed out effect that I got.  But still.

A smaller even hard to see spot of goo.
 I wore both gloves whenever touching the pick tickets or receivers (packing slips)  I always knew that my hands got dirty.  After doing them, I will wash my hands and to say the amount of dirt that comes off of them is, ummm, bad.

Exhibit C shows the amount of "dirt" I got yesterday.  Again, picture doesn't do it justice.

Oh, and now, my boss thinks I'm a freaking loon.  Ok, he already kind of knew that, but he walked in to give me some paperwork while I was taking the above picture.  Oops.  But even funnier?  He came in earlier to have me write a check.  I was working away with my protection.  He said, "looks serious".  I told him all about the gooey mess and then I think he threw up a little in his mouth.  I went to hand him a pen because the check required 2 signatures, and my glove touched his hand.  He was like, "oh no, you touched me with your gross glove".  ahahahahahah, hehehehehe.  Poor guy, NOT. 

After talking with the dude in charge of deliveries, and by the signature of who delivered it, ie: scaryman, we just couldn't decide if he hawked a loogie, or did one of his famous snot rockets.  I've never seen him hawk a loogie, but have witnessed the fine gross job he does on the snot rockets. 

One moment please, gag, gag, gagging some more.

All better now.

And this is why I have become a germaphobe.

Monday, April 4, 2011

People That Make Me Crazy

It's another work day.  Yippity-skippity-do-da-day.  Today's class study is people and their personalities.  I have people that I work with, and in my personal life, that sometimes get on that one last nerve I have during the day.  Let's see if you recognize anyone that you know.
GRUMPY
I'm Grumpy.  I had a bad night last night.  My life is rotten.  No one else has it as bad as me.  I'm going to make you grumpy. 
No, my dear grumpy butt, I'm going to be extra happy to piss you off.
LOUD
This is the person that has to talk about a hundred decibels louder than anyone else in the room.  I don't know if they are deaf, or just like to hear themselves talk.  Yes I work with this person.  I like to tone them out, but sometimes they are just too loud to even do that.
POT/KETTLE
These are by far the people that make me have to pick my jaw up off the floor.  No lie, I heard this very sentence come out of someones mouth last week.  "Have you ever noticed if so-and-so has a bad night at home, they come to work the next day and take it out on the rest of us".  Ummm, really.  Pot meet kettle.

CAN HAVE NO OTHER FRIENDS

You can only have one friend.  You may not have 2 friends at the same time.  You are all mine.  If we are all together, I'm going to make it a miserable time.  How dare you spend time with someone other than me.  I'm going to ignore you now.

CONSTANT PEN CLICKER

I don't know why this one makes me crazy but it does.  I think it has something to do with the "sound decibel" thing I have a problem with.  Also, if said person knows I grit my teeth when they do it, they do it even more.  Yeah, they're cool like that.  NOT

NEVER MAKES MISTAKES
I am perfect.  I do everything right.  It must be the other person I work with that did that.  No, really, I don't make mistakes.  Those damn others.  Never do anything right.

ALWAYS TRYING TO MAKE PEOPLE LOOK BAD
This is the special someone that will always bring up bad things you've done, right outside the bosses office.  Why, because they want to look better in the bosses/parents/teachers/siblings eyes.  I see right through you, you rat.

MR. CONFRONTATIONAL
This is kind of like the never do wrong person, but I will come right up to your face and point my finger at you and yell at you.  I could care less if there are customers around.  I will show them whose the coolest.  No, my dear co-worker, you will show them what an ass you are. 

These are only a few.  I'm sure you have all had someone like these in your lives.  I will get them back somehow.  Oh, you know I will.

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Men At Work - Not The Group

While driving home from work last night, I was forced to listen to the local news radio because, well, I hate listening to the music stations anymore and the station I listen to in the morning, has alternative music after my radio from hell show,  and after a long, hard, frustrating day at work, I'm not needing that kind of music in my life.   
 


The afternoon guy drives me freaking crazy.  With all his umms and umms and umms.  First of all, dude, you are on radio, you are reading crap off of a computer or paper.  I'm not sure, I don't work in radio.  If I were to read say, my blog aloud, I would just be reading it.  Wouldn't need to add any umms.  Its the freaking news.
 
But I'm not just going to pick on the radio dude.  News anchors have a problem reading the teleprompter too.  And if the teleprompter all of the sudden has a freak out, they are all lost.  Honestly people, I "listen" to you and can remember the story you are talking about.  You start to panic, fumbling through papers.  "And then, ummm, the killer, ummmm, ran", papers shuffling like crazy.  I want to scream to them.  "He ran through the backyard, hid in the shed and the police got him".  How hard was that dude?  Not very.  It also makes me wonder if these news people have a hard time having a conversation at their dinner tables.  "Susie, ummmm, shuffle, shuffle, how was, ummm, now where was it you were at today, oh yeah, school".  Just sayin.
 
Speaking of men at work.  Yesterday I wasn't feeling all that hot.  Think I might be trying to catch the blasted cold that my grandkids have.  But, I am woman, hear me roar.  Off to work I go.  Get there and one of my co-workers is "sick".  *said with whiny voice*.  Oh poor baby, I'm thinking to myself.  All day long, he kept coming into my office, begging me with his sad eye looks to ask him how he was feeling.  I wasn't in the mood to play nice.  So I ignored him.  Not ignored, like not talking to him at all, but I never once asked, "how you feeling you big baby".  Men, I love you.  I promise.  But dang, when you are sick you are the biggest whiners around.  Except for my hubby, whom I have to say is awesome when he is sick.  He doesn't complain.  I will baby him.  He deserves it. 
 
I found this video on youtube, and honestly, it is so true.
 
 
Now remember all my male followers.  I love men, just try to be big boys when you are sick.  mmk.  Thanks


Monday, January 3, 2011

Why Do They Like Me?

It's not because I'm beautiful, or smart, or a riot to be around, it's because I bring candy. 

 About every six weeks I head to my local Wal*Mart, get a basket and fill it with candy.  (btw, I love putting the little * in Walmart, makes it look so special)  And no, this does not come out of my own money, I don't love my job that much. 

Can you see anything you like in this times offerings?  Do you know what kind of looks you get while in the check out line?  I'll always say I have a sweet tooth going, but then I hear Confessions of A Cashier in my head saying, "don't say stupid stuff to us".  Take a look.   I buy tons of different stuff and mix it all together.  Then I get asked dumb questions like, where can I buy bags of premixed candy like this.  Ummm, you can't, just grab a piece and get out of my office.  Ok, I only say that to scaryman and old outside sales rep dude.  The others, they are allowed to stay and chat.  Cuz I'm nice like that.  :)

Speaking of my mouth and how it has a mind of it's own, I was Decembers best most commenter on My Mad Mind.  I'm going to go for 2 in a row.  I like the battle of out commenting others.  But really, I just enjoy her posts and she is the one that got me hooked on Scavenger Hunt Sunday.  Which I really missed doing this week, so ummm Ashley, could you not do that to me again.  I understand you have a life and all, and there was a little thing called the holidays, but come on now.  Just sayin.

Just remember, if you are in my neck of the woods (what the heck kind of statement is that anyway), stop on by and grab a piece of candy.  I'm sure there is something in there you want.