My Right Hip Bites The Dust

I went in to get a hip replacement and all I got was this lousy scar. Oh wait. I just lied. My bad. I got a whole bunch more. Let the rollercoaster ride begin. 

As the car starts up the steep incline,  I roll into surgery when the anticipation hits.  On that first drop I learn that while in hip replacement surgery, you are twisted and turned like a pretzel.   WHAT THE!!!  This was told to me by my physical therapist who said they have to watch all the surgeries so they know what the patient needs help with. Now if you want to know what that yellow spot is on my scar, I got burned by the drill. Apparently, according to my surgeon I have really strong bones, they had to push really hard on the drill. Lucky me.  

Here is the look of my old hip vs my new. 

The ride continues on. I get to the first curve. I wake up in the morning and the PA is in my room saying I’m not breathing well. Oh goody. What does this mean. He says, we are going to have to transfer you to the medical center. (I had surgery in the orthopedic surgery center). NOOOO. 

In come the local ambulance guys. Yup, another part of the ride. They load me in for the short ride to the hospital. Giving the guy a bad time all the way there. We are cracking jokes with each other.  I’m never mean unless you’ve pushed my final button, which will be in one of my chapters. 

I’m taken right into ICU. What!!!  They do their first assessment, and then allow my husband and daughter in. They have taken an X-ray (or that terrifying photo they take on the rollercoaster), and this is the view of my lung. 

See the left side of this X-ray. That is my actual right lung. All that white area is fluid in my plural cavity. This is a membrane that surrounds your lungs. That white area is full of fluid, known as ASCITES. Pronounced AS-CI-TES. (You will learn a lot of medical terms in this blog). You’re welcome. 

How do they get rid of it. This is the most terrifying part of the ride. They stick you between your ribs, insert a tube, and suck the fluid out. 

This is what they removed from my plural cavity. Doesn’t it look yummy. That was 1400 milliliters which equals almost a half gallon. Just think about carrying that fluid around your chest. No wonder I wasn’t breathing well. 

What is the next ride I go on?  Stay tuned for the next chapter. 

 

My New Pet Alfred..........

Oh my gosh you guys.  I have some very, very important news to share with you.  After many years of not having a pet, I decided to bring a new one into my home.  

INTRODUCING ALFRED

Isn't he just the cutest thing ever!!!!!

He has been the best pet.  Always there for me, no matter where I go in the house.  Sitting by the computer, surfing the web.

Sometimes, even laying his little head on my leg, keeping me company.  

Of course, he kind of acts like a child and follows me into the bathroom.  "Dazee, Dazee, don't leave me", I hear in his little fly voice.

Other times, he will sit, ready to pounce on my food, trying his hardest not to eat it, until I'm done and move the plate over to him.  If I am feeling nice, I will drop little morsels for him to snack on.

I really don't like it when he gets a smidge mad at me and hits me in the face.  We've had to have a little sit down talk about it, and I've told him more than once I'm going to swat his little butt if he doesn't behave.  He had to go out to the tree and bring me a swatter that I can keep around me to remind him of our deal.

Of course, his favorite time with me is when its time for bed.  I get all settled in, my eyes, drowsy, ready to hit dreamland, and I hear his little voice whispering in my ear.......buzz, buzz, buzz.  

Oh Alfred, I fear our time together will be short.  I will surely won't miss you, my friend, but all good times must come to an end.

Before I Was Sick

MY OWN PERSONAL OLYMPICS

Wow, I can't believe it has been over a year since I've written on here.  A lot has happened in that time. But alas, I'm not going to bore you with all the details.  You're Welcome.

Hmmmm, where should I begin my summer Olympic montage. July 13.  Got on a Delta Airline Flight with my mom and cousin.  Flew to Missouri to visit my sister Emily.  We were there for a week.

In the days before we came home, I decided it was time for my own personal Olympics.  I know you are all wondering what my specialty is.  It is the

TRICATHLON

Round One  

Slipping on water in front of the fridge  

I received a 7.5 for my effort because I didn't make it to the ground.  But they added a point because I did hit my head on the cabinet and drew blood.  

Round Two

Falling out of bed

This takes a lot more skill then slipping on water.  You must be positioned just right to fall, on your bad neurophathy side, and hit the floor with a scream.  I received an 8.5 because I incurred a half point penalty for not hitting my head, and a full point for not being able to get up off the floor by myself.  

Round Three

Falling on concrete garage floor

This is by far the hardest (no pun intended) round.  Coming home during a torrential rain storm, I decided to wait in the car until it subsided.  After 10 minutes, I felt I could get into the house even with the small amount of rain coming down.  Now remember, I am using my crutches, so that is an enhancement to the score.  I make it just to the door of the garage.  I put my crutches on the inside of the door, when all the sudden, they slipped on the water that my sis and cousin brought into the garage.  

You guessed it.  SLIP.  FALLING, FALLING, FALLING.  They say before you die you see your life in slow motion.  Well, I didn't die, but I saw myself falling in slow motion.  Again, all the following happened on my right side.  Hey, when you are good at the Tricathlon, you are good.  The position I landed in was, stomach area on the plate between the outside and the inside of the garage.  Legs out on the driveway.  Flat.  Body careening to the floor.  Right arm hitting the cement on the elbow.

 (This is the slow motion part)  Hit my forehead, then my eye socket, then my cheek bone, then the final hit, my lip with my tooth biting it.  

Much running by sister and cousin to help.  Mom, who also was sitting in the car because she didn't want to fall due to both her hips having replacements, jumps out of the car.  She proceeds to cover my legs with an umbrella so they won't get wet.  They all try for, oh about 10 to 15 minutes, to help me get up.  Finally my niece goes and gets my walker.  They put towels under both my knees because I can't get on them otherwise.  Finally I'm up and hobbling into the house.  

I received the highest score they have ever seen in this race.  A 12.5.  I got extra points for falling on my face with no shattered bones.  

YEE HAW, FIRST EVER WINNER OF THE TRICATLON. 

We came home on Wednesday, and on the following Monday I'm still in a lot of pain on my upper thigh where the fun loving femur bone is.  I started worrying that I might have fractured it.  So I went in to have it looked at at the local Instacare.  They took xrays.  No fracture, but the doctor says, "girl, I don't know how you are still walking".   "You need to go see an orthopedic surgeon."  Go in about 10 days later, cuz yeah, sometimes you just have to wait for an appointment.  

They do an xray.  Low and behold, the doctor pulls up my xray, and there it is.  My hip is bad.  In his words, extreme.  Need a hip replacement.  Not only do I need a hip replacement, but it isn't the normal. 

Most the time when someone needs a hip replacement the hip ball and socket are bone on bone going up as you can see from the following photo I found on google.

Not this girl.  I have to do everything the hard way.  My ball has protruded into and through my pelvic bone.  

The doctor said he sees it but not very often.  It will be a little bit longer of a surgery.  

I guess that it was a good thing I did my own special Olympics.  Sometimes you have to think of things that happen in your life as a positive.  I'm not happy I fell, but I am happy that some of my pain will get better.  

(This is going to be a continuing story. It will have humor, sadness and pain. But it will be a fun ride. I’m hoping I can help other people to see the good in all things.)

My Own Personal Olympics

I'M BACK

Wow, I can't believe it has been over a year since I've written on here.  A lot has happened in that time. But alas, I'm not going to bore you with all the details.  You're Welcome.

Hmmmm, where should I begin my summer Olympic montage. July 13.  Got on a Delta Airline Flight with my mom and cousin.  Flew to Missouri to visit my sister Emily.  We were there for a week.

In the days before we came home, I decided it was time for my own personal Olympics.  I know you are all wondering what my specialty is.  It is the

TRICATHLON

Round One  

Slipping on water in front of the fridge  

I received a 7.5 for my effort because I didn't make it to the ground.  But they added a point because I did hit my head on the cabinet and drew blood.  

Round Two

Falling out of bed

This takes a lot more skill then slipping on water.  You must be positioned just right to fall, on your bad neurophathy side, and hit the floor with a scream.  I received an 8.5 because I incurred a half point penalty for not hitting my head, and a full point for not being able to get up off the floor by myself.  

Round Three

Falling on concrete garage floor

This is by far the hardest (no pun intended) round.  Coming home during a torrential rain storm, I decided to wait in the car until it subsided.  After 10 minutes, I felt I could get into the house even with the small amount of rain coming down.  Now remember, I am using my crutches, so that is an enhancement to the score.  I make it just to the door of the garage.  I put my crutches on the inside of the door, when all the sudden, they slipped on the water that my sis and cousin brought into the garage.  

You guessed it.  SLIP.  FALLING, FALLING, FALLING.  They say before you die you see your life in slow motion.  Well, I didn't die, but I saw myself falling in slow motion.  Again, all the following happened on my right side.  Hey, when you are good at the Tricathlon, you are good.  The position I landed in was, stomach area on the plate between the outside and the inside of the garage.  Legs out on the driveway.  Flat.  Body careening to the floor.  Right arm hitting the cement on the elbow.

 (This is the slow motion part)  Hit my forehead, then my eye socket, then my cheek bone, then the final hit, my lip with my tooth biting it.  

Much running by sister and cousin to help.  Mom, who also was sitting in the car because she didn't want to fall due to both her hips having replacements, jumps out of the car.  She proceeds to cover my legs with an umbrella so they won't get wet.  They all try for, oh about 10 to 15 minutes, to help me get up.  Finally my niece goes and gets my walker.  They put towels under both my knees because I can't get on them otherwise.  Finally I'm up and hobbling into the house.  

I received the highest score they have ever seen in this race.  A 12.5.  I got extra points for falling on my face with no shattered bones.  

YEE HAW, FIRST EVER WINNER OF THE TRICATLON. 

We came home on Wednesday, and on the following Monday I'm still in a lot of pain on my upper thigh where the fun loving femur bone is.  I started worrying that I might have fractured it.  So I went in to have it looked at at the local Instacare.  They took xrays.  No fracture, but the doctor says, "girl, I don't know how you are still walking".   "You need to go see an orthopedic surgeon."  Go in about 10 days later, cuz yeah, sometimes you just have to wait for an appointment.  

They do an xray.  Low and behold, the doctor pulls up my xray, and there it is.  My hip is bad.  In his words, extreme.  Need a hip replacement.  Not only do I need a hip replacement, but it isn't the normal. 

Most the time when someone needs a hip replacement the hip ball and socket are bone on bone going up as you can see from the following photo I found on google.

Not this girl.  I have to do everything the hard way.  My ball has protruded into and through my pelvic bone.  

The doctor said he sees it but not very often.  It will be a little bit longer of a surgery.  

I guess that it was a good thing I did my own special Olympics.  Sometimes you have to think of things that happen in your life as a positive.  I'm not happy I fell, but I am happy that some of my pain will get better.