Wednesday, January 16, 2013

Hello....Hello.....Are You Still With Me?

**stepping up to microphone**

"Hello.  My name is Dazee and it has been weeks and weeks since my last post"

It has been a wild ride.  The first part of December I took my mom in for a hip revision surgery that didn't happen because of major infection.  Because of the infection, she was hipless for 4 weeks.  Two weeks ago, she finally got her new hip in.  I have been either at the hospital, or the rehabilitation center with her all this time.

I have learned that me and my mom have a ton in common.  You have to know, I come from a family of 9 kids, so I have always felt lost in the shuffle.  It was a great experience to sit and talk and learn things about her that I never knew.

For instance, out of the blue one day she says, "I wonder what ever happened to my gun".  WTH?  Mom can shoot a gun?  Her and my dad used to go deer hunting?  And they both came back alive?  (they communicate by fighting)

Me and my sister looked at each other and said.  "good thing we didn't know mom could shoot a gun while we were growing up".  

I became a patient advocate.  I stuck up for the rights of my mom and the other patients in the rehab center.   I met some of the most awesome CNA's.   Granted, there was the bad one that I got banned from my mom's care, but the amount of them that came in and said they were going to miss her the day we sprung her from the joint, was overwhelming.  

My mom was raised by her grandparents.  Her own parents had both died by the time she was 7.  The youngest Aunt of hers is only 10 years older than her.  She couldn't understand why her Aunt had not called.  We finally got a call from her daughter telling us that she was in the hospital and was only given about a week to live.  

I checked her out of rehab this past Sunday and took her the 90 miles to where she lives.  We walked into her room, and my mom was overcome by emotion.  My mom does not like people to see her cry.  I watched her cry.  My older sister and I were there and we talked to our Aunt.  Her first words were, "I want to die, but I am so scared".  Here is one of the strongest women I know, telling me she is scared.  She was in pain.  I caressed her shoulders, forehead, face, arms.  She said it felt so good.  I promised her that dying wouldn't be painful.  

It was one of the most special times I have had in my whole life.  I have never been around anyone that has passed while I was with them, and I truly felt that if she had gone at that moment it would have been an experience I would always cherish.  

I made her promise me that when she passed, she would come and tell me.  She got the biggest grin on her face and said that she would.  As of yet, I haven't received a visit, but then, she hasn't passed on yet.  

My grandfather came to me the night he died.  Told me he was going home.  When I woke up the next morning, Mr. Dazee told me that he had died during the night.  I already knew.  

Have you ever had an experience like that?

Are you a believer?


  1. I'm glad your mom is on the road to recovery. I am a believer, but I've never experienced anything like that. My mom has, though. With her dad, I think.

  2. I believe. I've never had that happen to me. It's not a gift given to me, but sometimes I wish I had it.

  3. I wondered where you went. It was good to hear that you are spreading love and comfort. I've never had a visit or premonition like that, I imagine it would bring me a sense of closure. May your great aunt's journey be filled with light and love - I hope she remembers to let you know that she is at peace.

  4. What a wonderful time you got to spend with her, even though she was ill, which I am so sorry for. I have been with several people in my family when they passed, I have also had a family friend come to me twice since her passing, once about a week after she passed (didnt know yet it had even happened), and then she came back to me again my first week of sobriety. It was an amazing thing and I always feel she is with me to an extent. I am a believer I guess you could say! Many prayers for your moms recovery as well as for your Great Aunt as she nears the end of her life.

  5. I am so glad that that ordeal is behind you now and your mom is finally on the mend.

    As to the other, I am a HUGE believer. My dad died totally unexpectedly. (He'd had a check up the day before,) That night he showed up at the foot of the bed and asked, "Am I dead.?"

    I believe.

  6. My daughter had something like that. Back when she was about 3, she said to my wife that my dad had passed away, and sure enough, a little while later my wife got a phone call from my brother saying that my dad had passed away.

  7. I've never experienced it, but I know people who have. It sounds like you are going through a very emotional time at the moment. My thoughts are with you buddy.

  8. Yes. Yes. And yes. It is life changing. And like you, I am an advocate.

  9. Hipless for four weeks? OMG! That just makes me shiver.

    I've had a lot of experiences like that. They shake me up!

    I'm glad something good came of all the bad with your poor Mom, though. I can't even imagine that level of pain.