My Day At The Hospital......Or.....Why They Will Be Getting My Bill

Day:  Monday, December 17, 2012

Time:  8:45 AM

Where:  LDS Hospital, Salt Lake City Utah

Yesterday, I had the pleasure of taking my mom to the hospital for a hip revision surgery.  Three years ago she had her left hip replaced.  About a month ago, she slipped while walking into her bathroom and landed on said hip.  She thought the pain would go away after a few days.  (hmmmm, wonder where I got that from).  Two weeks later she finally went to the doctor and he said, yes there was a crack, but things were healing nicely.  She started feeling better, but then, wham, the pain returned a hundred fold.  

As in all things doctor, the orthopedic doctor said, "I think you have an something going on that isn't part of your hip".  Then, as in all things stupid dumbass insurance companies, she had to go to her primary care physician to have that checked.  He took a blood test, everything came back normal, prescribed her some Percocet which she took that night, and found out she was allergic to it because it intensified the pain.  NOT GOOD!!!

Next day, she went back to the ortho guy, he took another xray, said, wowza, it is getting worse in there.  Surgery was scheduled.

Anystupidhospitalstorylater, Spending the day at the hospital made me come up with a list of things that I don't understand. and will bill them for.

My mom could barely stand up, let alone walk.  After she got signed in, the nurse comes out, calls her name and asks her to walk into the room which is about a mile away, ok, not that far, but maybe 25 feet.  I help my mom up, she moves a few feet, pain all over her face, the nurse FINALLY says, "should I get a wheelchair".  Umm no Sherlock, she might make it there in a few hours.  She gets a wheelchair, but then again, proceeds to tell her she will have to walk to the scale and then she can sit in the wheelchair.

#1

I am going to hurt the bitch.   Where is the sensitivity training.  Not all people that are going in for surgery can walk around.   

Hospital Personel 0.......Dazee 1

#2

Support socks.  Whose idea of a torture chamber where these?  "Doctor wants these on for the surgery".  Oh really, doctor can put them on patient, after she is knocked out.  Have I mentioned she can't move????  Or here's another thought, HELP HER, WILL YOU!

Hospital Personel 0......Dazee 2

#3

Dude from Surgery, hereafter known as DFS, shows up to the room with the gurney.  PARKS IT IN THE HALLWAY!!  DFS says to mom, "I need you to walk out to the gurney".  I became livid.  "Not gonna happen",  I tell him.  She can barely walk.  DFS, "well I guess I will have to bring the gurney in here".  She must make 2 steps.  2 STEPS people, he doesn't help her up off the bed.  I step in, help her, lift her legs up on the bed, get her comfy, all the while staring daggers at DFS.  

Hospital Personel 0......Dazee 3

Me and my dad have just had a consultation with the doctor.  He informs us that they went in and all looked good.  Until he cut through the muscle, at which time, "tons of pus and blood", his words, started oozing out.  He had to clean that all out, send blood samples and tissue samples to the lab to have cultures done, to find out what kind of infection they are dealing with.  If its an infection that will clear up fast, she will have to go back on the 2nd of January to finish her hip revision.  If it is a bad one, 6 weeks of heavy IV antibiotic therapy, and surgery in about 3 months.  

Bad news is, he couldn't put the replacement ball and socket back in.  She has nothing there right now.  Will have to go around in a wheelchair or the awesome jazzy chair one of the people that live in their retirement place let her borrow.  

Doctor 1......Dazee 3

Go back into surgery waiting room until they tell us what room they will be taking her to.  One of my sisters calls me since her fingers couldn't text everything she wanted to ask, after I sent the text to all the sibs about what was going on.  I tell her what he said, she is asking a few questions.  I hear, while on the phone with her, the man beside me start complaining to his wife that it was so noisy in there with everyone on their phones.  So sorry, POSG (piece of shit garbage).  Go stand in the hall.

POSG 0.....Dazee 4

He's just lucky I didn't slam the butt of my hand up into his nose, like I've learned about in the thriller murder books I read.  :)

When we got to my mom's room and were waiting for her to come from the recovery room, I have to say, those nurses and her CNA were awesome.  They got me and my dad a coke on ice, and were so helpful and careful with my mom.  

My bill will also include pain and unnecessary suffering that they caused her.  

My total charge will be, $50,000 dollars.  Nobody makes my mom hurt!!!!!