Warning, mad drawing skills in the following post.
This week, on What The Frack?, I will once again be talking about road rage. The funny thing is, all three things I'm going to talk about happened in a 30 minute part of my day. 30 minutes people. That's how bad it can be.
Let the ranting begin.
Dear Dude Who Stuck His Nose Out Into Traffic
My name is Dazee Defensive Driver. I am always aware of other cars and what they are or are not doing. I saw you speeding your way to the stop sign. I was starting to fret, when you finally slammed on your breaks, but still made it out into the oncoming traffic. What the frack dude. Oh yes, I decided to make you look bad. I went out of my way to show you how stupid you were. I didn't even make it all the way into the other lane. I did notice in my rear view mirror that you FINALLY backed up when another car did the same thing. Guess what, you do not own the road, and you are just lucky I love my car or I would have been tempted to just smack into you.
Dear Stop Sign Holder Dudette
Are you fracken nuts? Having your back to oncoming traffic. I admit, I'm a little bit bent with all the construction, but I do follow the stop and slow signs. The thing is, you didn't even turn around when I started getting close to you. I could have been full of rage, and run you down. You didn't even turn once I was sitting there. I guess you didn't realize that you were not looking at Dazee, my camera goes everywhere with me. You're just lucky that I wasn't drunk, or texting. Hope you have a good will.
Dear Red Light and Lead Car Dude
First. construction. My nemesis. I came upon this red light, it finally turned green and 5, count them, 5 whole cars made it through before it turned red again. And not because of traffic backup on the other side. Just because the light changed that fast. I started doing my deep breathing, knowing that I was going to be there about another 4 minutes before it would be our turn again. From this view, you can only see the 2 cars in front of me. There was a little red car as lead car. The light changes. We sit, we sit, a good 5 seconds. I'm about ready to blow my top. Do the other 2 cars do anything? NO. Me. you better fracking believe it. I blew my horn. And it wasn't the nice, one short honk "oh sir, could you please go", it was "dude, get your freaking ass in gear and get going". I think I scared the 2 cars in front of me. I could care less. I was NOT going to get stuck through another cycle of lights because of bad drivers. You should have seen has fast red car went through the construction cones afterwards. Too bad there wasn't a cop around. He would have gotten a ticket as well as my horn up his.........
I promise you I'm not always a mean driver. I'm really not. I just want to get where I'm going, with the least amount of aggravation as possible.