Thursday, April 19, 2012

It's All The Fracking Rage

Warning, mad drawing skills in the following post.  

This week, on What The Frack?, I will once again be talking about road rage.  The funny thing is, all three things I'm going to talk about happened in a 30 minute part of my day.  30 minutes people.  That's how bad it can be.  

Let the ranting begin.

Dear Dude Who Stuck His Nose Out Into Traffic
My name is Dazee Defensive Driver.  I am always aware of other cars and what they are or are not doing.  I saw you speeding your way to the stop sign.  I was starting to fret, when you finally slammed on your breaks, but still made it out into the oncoming traffic.  What the frack dude.  Oh yes, I decided to make you look bad.  I went out of my way to show you how stupid you were.  I didn't even make it all the way into the other lane.  I did notice in my rear view mirror that you FINALLY backed up when another car did the same thing.  Guess what, you do not own the road, and you are just lucky I love my car or I would have been tempted to just smack into you.

Dear Stop Sign Holder Dudette
Are you fracken nuts?  Having your back to oncoming traffic.  I admit, I'm a little bit bent with all the construction, but I do follow the stop and slow signs.  The thing is, you didn't even turn around when I started getting close to you.  I could have been full of rage, and run you down.  You didn't even turn once I was sitting there.  I guess you didn't realize that you were not looking at Dazee, my camera goes everywhere with me.  You're just lucky that I wasn't drunk, or texting.  Hope you have a good will.

Dear Red Light and Lead Car Dude
First.  construction.  My nemesis.  I came upon this red light, it finally turned green and 5, count them, 5 whole cars made it through before it turned red again.  And not because of traffic backup on the other side.  Just because the light changed that fast.  I started doing my deep breathing, knowing that I was going to be there about another 4 minutes before it would be our turn again.  From this view, you can only see the 2 cars in front of me.  There was a little red car as lead car.  The light changes.  We sit, we sit, a good 5 seconds.  I'm about ready to blow my top.  Do the other 2 cars do anything?  NO.  Me.  you better fracking believe it.  I blew my horn.  And it wasn't the nice, one short honk "oh sir, could you please go", it was "dude, get your freaking ass in gear and get going".  I think I scared the 2 cars in front of me.  I could care less.  I was NOT going to get stuck through another cycle of lights because of bad drivers.  You should have seen has fast red car went through the construction cones afterwards.  Too bad there wasn't a cop around.  He would have gotten a ticket as well as my horn up his.........

I promise you I'm not always a mean driver.  I'm really not.  I just want to get where I'm going, with the least amount of aggravation as possible.  

I'm sure you understand.


  1. I can totally relate. I try not to be a nasty driver, but once in a great while my patience really wears thin! My biggest pet peeve is in the mornings, we have a junior high and high school on the same street. Some ppl drive on it at 45+MPH and there is NEVER a cop in sight. It pisses me off to no end.

  2. Oh yeah, I know what you mean! Normally I'm not a mean driver, but yesterday on the way to work I was passin a car up a hill and some jerk came roaring up behind me and then stayed about 6 inches off my bumper...needless to say, I didn't quite make it past the car I was trying to pass...oops.

  3. Living in the stick as I do we have all kinds of drivers. The ones that drive me batty are the tractor drivers. The ones that refuse to pull off and allow traffic to pass, ya know , what they are supposed to do by LAW.

  4. MEH...could be worse ya know. At least you have orange cone thingys to look at. And red/green/yella lights. And boneheads with stop signs. You could be out here...all we have is boneheads:)

  5. Ok another perfect example of why I don't drive.

  6. Obviously the crossing guard was protected by an invisible shield like the USS Enterprise had; or at least they thought they were anyway.

  7. I think Stop Sign Holder wants to die.

  8. People who take forever to go when a light turns green drive me f'ing crazy!!!!

  9. I think things like this is why Jex makes me drive all the time. Otherwise our car would be in worse condition.
    He's of the mindset of: "Hey they're the one's being stupid. Might as well learn their lesson and pay for repairs on our car."

  10. Yikes; it's amazing there aren't more accidents every day than there already are. I hate it when lights are only green for a couple of seconds and then the other lanes have a green light for 5 minutes.

  11. Ha! They are not aware that your name is Crazy are they? They would so get out of your way if they knew that.

    I freak out when I'm riding my bike. I want monster mirrors so I can see who is behind me. What was that woman thinking with her back to oncoming traffic?

  12. This comment has been removed by the author.

    1. whatadumbass...can't spell worth diddle so ya delete...whatadumbass

  13. Had to delete that one above. Couldn't spell just...
    So what I said was I had to come back just to tell ya your drawing teeters on the edge of being porno. The nose. I see you ROFLYAO....
    We should talk.