Thursday, May 17, 2012

Held Hostage By The Fracking HOA

Are you ready to get your frack on?  If you are, grab the little purple haired lady over there on the right side, and come back and link up.  Let it out, let it alllllllll out.

Dear Home Owners Association

What the frack dudes!  Your little rules and regulations regarding what we can and can't put up on our own lot is starting to make me want to pull out the voodoo doll in your favor.    After having to replace numerous trees, bushes and flowers because of the "beloved deer population", we sent you a letter, as required by your board, to ask about putting up a horse mesh type fencing in an area of our back yard that we weren't able to fence, because the pack of thieves deer are able to get into our back yard and poop, eat our vegetation, and drop deer ticks.  We have spent over a thousand dollars replacing said vegetation in our front yard, and now in the back, this year alone.

Proof of Thieves In The Neighbor Behind Us Yard.
Don't you love how the one deer is looking at me like, "what, I'm not eating anything"

What the Frack is up with your response.  

"Many neighbors are in the same situation. I personally replaced sixteen trees before fencing my back yard. Now the deer concentrate on my front yard. I have found a couple of products sold at Lowe's that will deter the deer from eating your foliage--One is a spray product called
Repels All and the other is a disk that mounts on a wire that is raised and sets in your flower beds and it's called Sweeney's Deer Repel-ant.. 
Both products work very well"

We beg to differ, Mr. HOA Board Member.  The repels do nothing but kill your trees, and the deer-resistant trees, bushes and flowers are a sham.  Did you know that the deer can't read the little "all about this tree" thing.   Its true.  Somewhere in their schooling they didn't get the memo.  

We have fenced both sides of our back yard.  As you can see from the above photo of the deer, there is a rock wall.  Well, you can't see it really well, but trust me, it's there.  We can not fence there because if we did, all kinds of things could get stuck behind the fence, and cause a stink if they were to die.  Oh, it would be nice if everyone was supposed to fence their backyards.  

You know what I fracking think?  I think all deer should have to be fitted with one of those electric dog collar things.  Then all the owners could put up the electric fence to keep the deer from coming on to their property.  Hey, they find a way to put tags to track other animals.  

So, HOA or as I'm going to call you from now on, HOH (holding owners hostage), you have won the What The Frack award of the week.  


  1. Oh, those poor Deers!
    Hey listen, I just saw a video the other day where a man pours/sprays his own urine around the property and that keeps the deer away. I hear it really works too! Now, go drink a six pack and get to work!

  2. Lord with my yard I would love for them to come munch my grass, keeps me from having to mow it all. Sucks for you though. Get a big dog or even a little one that thinks it's big. Deers avoid places with barking dogs.

    1. Deer don't eat grass lol! I live in the foothills of Colorado, and we have deer issues! When hubby and I owned a vineyard we had to have 9 foot fencing to keep the deer from eating the vines, and I have still seen deer jump that high and clear the fence! They also really, really like tulips, and until this year I never had a flower because they ate the plants to the ground. Oh, and right now they really like that we're growing peas and lettuce in the garden... *sigh*

  3. Sounds like you're in a pickle! I hate HOA's.

  4. Oh wow, that is so frustrating! That would drive me crazy!

  5. You mean no one warned you about HOA's before you bought into it? As for the deer...forget it, they'll always win, (so will them ASSociation boneheads) I've played that game..I know. I guess at least it's not the problem we're having out here right now...SNAKES! Ya, even the noisy ones....meh :(

  6. The HOA is a total pain in the ass!

  7. They won't let you put chicken wire type fences around your trees?
    I don't know if that's hick or not but that's what my aunt did till her crab apple trees got to the point where they bore fruit. Now the deer eat the apples and leave the rest of her yard alone.

  8. You know you have more than your fair share of things to get pissed off about! :D

  9. I live in an HOA and I just hate 'em. All their silly little idiot rules and regs. Ridiculous! I feel your pain.

  10. Don't be pissed off girlie....You are too beautiful to frown!


    I heard if you put human hair around your plants, the deer won't eat them. (ask your hairdresser)Or take some from a brush you have.

  11. You do not want to get me started on HOA's and the anal retentive twits who work for them. GRRRRRRR....

  12. Hahaha! You crack me up! Gawd that sux Daze! I truly believe that if you took everything BAD in the universe & smushed it together, it would come out as an HOA. *heading out now to make sure I don't have a weed over 4" out front, jail scares me*