Thursday, May 3, 2012

Why Yes? That's How I Really Fracken Feel

It has been one of those weeks.  I think the moon must be in the seventh house, and Jupiter is aligning with mars.  But I must say, peace is not guiding the planets and love is not steering the stars.  Just saying.

Whose ready to get their frack on?

Dear Dude At Walmart
How nice of you to have gone clear out of your way to "push" the grocery cart into oncoming traffic, and not even close to the little park your cart here places.   May the cart gods shine down upon you and have a dozen carts ram into your car all at once.  

Dear School District That I Put An Application For A Secretarial Job
Really?  34 consecutive years of secretarial work, office manager work, purchasing work, data entry work, not to mention all the copy/fax/printers I have saved companies money on by fixing them myself, just wasn't good enough for you?  Not to mention you were not "willing" to pay me less than I need to make.  Not good enough.  Frack You!!!!  Someday, somewhere, someone is going to hire me, and when they do, all you other jobs that have turned me down, can just weep.  You are missing out on one of the best employees that you have ever seen.  

Dear Prissy Man and Wife At Home Depot
How dare you turn your noses up in the air when Mr. Dazee and I were waiting behind you in line at the Rent It Center.  I extremely loved the blatant ignoring of a question that we asked you.  Good thing I was controlling my inner anger because you would have heard some choice words spewing from my mouth.   And Mr. Prissy Dude.  The item that you wanted to rent, costs like a whole $15.00 to BUY.  Of course they aren't going to rent them out.  Believe me, I don't think you were going to do the work yourself anyway.  I don't know, could have been the way y'all were dressed, in all your finery.  Oh and guess what, I'm not sorry that I started invading your space.  I was trying to spread some of my ickyness on you.  Because I'm nice like that.

Dear Splinter
You my non-friend, are a
 scum sucking....piece of shit......fracking rat bastard.

That is all.


  1. those carts at walmart almost gave me a panic attack. I could feel it coming on! yikes!

  2. Love the song. Schools won't hire you for secretary unless you "know" someone. Splinter? The every useful duct tape. And Prissy and Mrs. "I'm better than you"? Many retorts there. Converse only with your spouse-loudly in assholes direction-about the private school or about buying a bigger boat or the country club or just a simple,..."Honey, I know the Rolls is only two years old but I really want a Lambougini (sp?)."

  3. Wait they acted like they HAD money but were at a rent to own place?? Ahhh the joys of putting on Airs and failing at it miserably. You and I should never go in a store together. Wait maybe we should someone will have to be there to verify exactly how it all went down before we got in the cop car.. just sayin'

  4. I've had a tail light broken by a cart some inconsiderate person was too lazy to wheel to the cart return place. As a result, I freak out in parking lots where there are a lot of loose carts. Walmart is the worst (granted, I haven't been to Walmart more than 4 times in my life as you know, but still). Civility and courtesy are traits that every person should practice. If people did, the world would be a much, much better place.

  5. Frack on Dazee dear...Frack on:)

  6. I can't even go to our Wal-Mart here; it's in THE scariest part of town. But I remember the crazy weirdness at the Wal-Marts of Utah. I hope you find the perfect job. It will happen!!

  7. Grocery carts being left out in the lot not put away is a HUGE pet peeve of mine. Lazy people don't put them in the collection area.

    People who pretend to be someone they aren't need to stay home. They don't need to inflict their kind on the rest of us.

    And if I were Splinter I would be tucking my tail between my legs and hiding in mortal fear.