Wednesday, October 31, 2012

I Spy - Halloween

Guess what I dressed up as to hand out Halloween Candy?  Come on,'ll never guess.......

BRALESS LADY.....hahahahaha

If they weren't scared of goblins before, they are now.  

Now, I know you all did something or other for Halloween.  I want pictures.  Got it!!!!!  Do a post and link on up.  Your Choice can be anything you want.  Even if it's just more Halloween pictures.  (except for Joey, because he's being all "I don't do Halloween)  I'm thinking he would do an awesome costume, but hey, that's just me.


What better way for me to show of the grandkids than in their costumes.  I know, I'm that kind of grammie.
Miss L, Gypsy
Mr C, ummmm, yeah
Miss O, Garden Witch
Miss A, Snow White in her cowboy boots
Mr. G, Skelator

I saw this tree one day in my travels.  Finally I was back in the area and stopped to take a picture.  I thought it was appropriate for Halloween.  It is kind of spooky looking the way they've cut it away from the power lines.
OK, your turn.  Show us what ya got.
Next Weeks Prompts
Pole(s) 11/8/12
Your Choice
Future Prompts
Wish 11/15/12
Music 11/22/12
Family Event 11/29/12


I want to write commercials.  Really.  Seems like you can get away with a lot on them lately.  I love the ones with double intrundras.  I have to admit, I giggle/snort when this one is playing

Meanwhile, back in the real world........

After months of my blackberry deciding to scroll WHILE I'm trying to text, or email, I decided that it was time to get a new one.  Dudes, phones are super expensive anymore.  I had to go with the payment plan, because our plan/plan isn't on a contract so new phones must be outright purchased or payment planned.  (Yes, I have great english skills)

I have to say tho, I had the BEST EXPERIENCE with the gang at T-Mobile.
Why yes, here they are now.  From left to right,
Mitch, Carelsy, Luis

If Luis looks familiar, he made it to the top 50, season 6, on So You Think You Can Dance. 

I must admit, I was not in the happiest of moods when I went in.  This job situation crap. But alas, it is not stopping me........anynewphonelater, by the time I left, Luis was calling me mom, Mitch offered me a taste of his milkshake, which was a bubblegum flavor, and no I didn't have a taste, and Carelsy, well she had to scold me once because I let the F word fly when something upset me.   Then they all burst out laughing and I was in like Flynn.

Another thing, some of you people are just crazy.  I was asking them how often people get a new phone.  Good golly miss molly, they told me that people are upgrading all the time.  They get tired of their phones, want something new.  Me, well, I had to wait until I was ready to throw my blackberry against the wall.  (oh, Mr. Dazee would have, we all know that, because he's a man, and the inanimate object can feel pain)  

Phones are EXPENSIVE!!!!   I already mentioned this.  Shame on people that constantly need the next best thing.  Where do you get your money?   No, don't answer that, I don't want to be an accessory to the fact.  

Anyway, I wanted to give a shoutout to my sales crew at T-Mobile.  They actually made my day, and made me feel like I was cool.  Well, I am, but sometimes it's awesome to have someone besides myself think that.

Now, I must go confess to Mr. Dazee that I got the new phone.  Didn't tell him yet.  Was waiting for the right moment.  That moment is now.  Wish me luck.

If you hear's not going well..........
(Mr. Dazee when he hears the news)

Monday, October 29, 2012

Attention All Future Companies That Have The Guts To Hire Me

As you have heard me talk about, I am in the market for a new job.  It's been almost a year.  In an effort to broaden my horizons, I have changed it up a bit.

Dazee Dreamer
Office Manager/Administrative Assistant

Over 30 years of motherhood managing and wifely duties;  promoted from purchasing groceries to motherhood in 2 years; very reliable and great at multitasking; proactive; take life by the horns and run with it.

     at least 5 wpm
     10 Key
     I probably have that many on my key ring
     I can point with power
     Can speak at least 1000 wpm
     In every task I undertake
     Husband Negotiations
     Self explanatory
     No problem spending the money and paying the bills
     Sensitive HR Paperwork
     Can hide sensitive paperwork with the best of um
     See AR
     Bank Deposits
     Easy Peasy

Ability to draw people to me
Of course, I will be drawing stick figures, but I can do it
Always Watching Our For The Households Bottom Line
          I can bring home the bacon, fry it up in a pan, Cuz I'm a  woman, Double U...O....M...A..N.
          I can swear like a sailor, or be as pleasant as a child.  Of course, I can also have temper
          tantrums like a kid.
          Hire me at your own risk.
Job History

          Salt Lake City, Utah
          11/1977 to 10/2012

I'm thinking of sending this resume along with my real one, to my future employers. 
I'm Crazy Dazee, don't you know.  

Thursday, October 25, 2012

It's Fracking Icky......

What the frack is going to be brought to you by the ick factor this week.  You've got that right, all things ick.  Sometimes I just have to do the world some good and bring things to light that you just haven't thought of, up until now.
Now please, link on up.  I know you have had fracky moments this week.  I want to hear about them.  
This is what I woke up to October 25, 2012.  I know, some of you lurv the snow.  Me.  I fracking hate it.  The only day I allow the joy that is snow is Christmas morning.  Then by the afternoon it must be gone.  
Moving on

You have all heard about the love hate we have for deer.  I know, "but Dazee, they are so cute".  Right.  Let me show you some of the love they have left around for us.  This is a sidewalk in our back yard.  This little tiny tiny amount of droppings is only an example of what was left for our viewing pleasure.  It went the whole length of the sidewalk, which goes around to the side of our house.  Weren't they just so fracking nice to us.  
This is what most of you think of when you think of deer poop.

This on the other hand, shows that the deer in our area have way to much fracking good stuff to eat.  I give you, the biggest deer dropping I have ever seen.  
You just threw up a little in your mouth, didn't you.  But wait, the worst is yet to come.

Mr. Dazee, the ever popular "looker for gross what the frack moments for his dear sweet wife", asked me ever so kindly made me take this photo whilst grocery shopping the other day.  
Why yes, that is hair that has been picked up by the wheels of the grocery cart, or for my good friend Joey, the trolley, at any said place with this apparatus.  This is why you should never, ever, ever go barefoot while shopping.  I need a moment........this photo just really makes me kinda feel pukey.

Now its your turn.  Go for it.  I know you want to.

Wednesday, October 24, 2012

I Spy - Self Portrait

The photo's you are about to see might make you dizzy and sick to your stomach.  Enter at your own risk.
I honestly hope that you have your eyewash ready for this weeks prompt.  Why, you ask shyly?  Because my wonderful co host Christy and her freaky Mad Mind decided that we should do SELF PORTRAIT.  Now, if you know anything about me, you know that I hate, hate, hate having my photo taken.  And to have to take one of myself, well, it about sent me over the edge.  But being the good sport that I am, I have done the un-thinkable and smiled (if you can call it that) my way through it.  Therefore, if I can, you can, and you better because I will track you down and hurt you if you don't.  I read ALOT of murder thriller books.  I know what to do and how to get away with it.   
This is the kind of photo you will usually get if you ask me to pose for a picture.  I'm truly cool like that.
Here I am using the wonderful application CamWow on my iPad.  My grandkids love this app.  I kind of feel like this when normal photos are taken of me.  It is extremely fun to use when you have a group of people around. 

Here I am in my usually attire.  Yes, I wear a witches hat all the time.  Haven't you seen me flying around on my broom lately?

Because I am the coolest blogger around, I took a photo of myself this morning when I got up.  Yes, it's a bed head photo.  I can feel it in my soul that you all wish you could partake of my beauty first thing in the morning.  


While perusing the internet one day, I came upon this ad.  It struck my funny bone so I grabbed my camera and snapped a picture of it.  

Yup, ladies and gentlemen, step right up and get yourself a baby.  JCPenny is holding a 50% off sale for them.    
"get big savings for your little one"
I wonder how much those babies were going for. 
Tee hee hee

Your turn.  If I can do it, you can do it.  Show us what you got!!!!

Next Weeks Prompts
Halloween 11/1/12
Your Choice

Future Prompts
Pole(s) 11/8/12
Wish 11/15/12
Music 11/22/12
Family Event 11/29/12

Tuesday, October 23, 2012

It's A Drunken MeMe.....Yee Haw

I know, get up off of the floor.  Two posts in as many days.  My friend Judy Susan, has been a blogger since, well, ummm, when there was such a thing called Yahoo 360 to do your blogs on.  Slap my face and call me shocked, I have no idea what that even is.  Apparently it was the blogger of its time.  A merry old time, when life was beautiful all the time and you could see the little old men with the little white coats, wait........wait..........moving on.
Here, in no particular order, are the answers to her questions of the weeks.  Ok, you caught me, they are in the order that she asked them.  Gosh, I can't pull anything over on you guys.
#1.  What does your child/mom do that makes you proud?
I have to say, that watching my children being parents makes me one proud mama.  My grandkids are so lucky that they are being raised with love.  There is so much hatred and bullying going on that to see them having a safe place to fall does my heart good.  

#2.  What were you thinking when you decided you wanted to blog?  How did you come up with your title?
Now don't laugh, but when I was a young girl, I loved to read Erma Bombeck.  She freaking cracked me up.  I loved her way about talking about life.  I figured I could do just as good as her, if not better (big head much?).  I've always looked at life in kooky ways.  I've never tried to be "serious", unless I have to be.  

How did I come up with my title.  Well, because I am somewhat crazy during the days, and have always had strange dreams at night, I decided that is what it should be named.  Every night.  Movie in Dazee's brain, every......night.......of.......the.......week.    Therefore, Crazy Daze & Nite Dreams.  Yeah, I didn't want to spell it normal, because, well, I'm not.  

#3.  Who is your favorite all time blogger?
I'm going to say myself, because, well, I rock this crap.  Actually, I like so many types of different bloggers that I couldn't even come up with one of my all time favorites.  Now don't cry, I give people shout outs all the time, so don't worry your pretty little heads.  If I follow you, you are my favorite.  (I have children, can you tell).  

#4.  Do you leave honest comments, silly comments, or not comments?
I leave comments all the time.  Well, that is unless you have like 100 people leaving comments, in which case, what the hell am I doing wrong, I might or might not depending on if I think you will read my comment.  I'm more the leave a silly comment, if it warrants it.  If someone has done a post and is getting ragged on by commenter's, especially if one of the commenter's has been especially mean spirited, I will email the blogger and call the commenter out on the carpet.  I won't get a holy war going on their page.  

#5.  Have you ever actually been drunk when you posted on your blog?
I have to admit that I have never been drunk.  I've been known to have a drink when I've gone out to dinner with friends, but that is about it.  I am of the type that if I get drunk, I will say and do things that I will not want to own the rights to.  Also, I hate to throw up, ick.  I did enough of that while pregnant.  People always tell me, "but you feel so much better after you barf".  Yeah, well, my chest doesn't like the bruise I get on it when I'm slamming into the front of the throne.  So, I guess the answer would be no.  Unless you count, being drunk on life, or Coke Zero, then yes, I have.
Now, go link up with this little meme.  I want to see what you have to say for yourselves.

Monday, October 22, 2012

Watch Out I'm Back With A Vengeance

Today one of my dear friends said this to me after I told her that I've been depressed for awhile, and is missing the funny in me.

Grab the back of your granny panties.. yank hard.. and pull yourself out of this freaking depression.. and get your ass back to writing funny...
that's an official order child!

She loves me.  No really, she does. 

Not only am I back with a vengeance, but I'm going to give you the ABS's of what's been on my mind.  Keep your arms and legs inside because you might be in for a bumpy ride.

Yeah, I've been super angry.  Angry that I was fired.  Angry that no one seems to want to hire me.  Well you know what.  Too bad, so sad.  Every single person out there that doesn't want to have anything to do with my fabulous skills can just jump off a cliff.

Yeah, my boobs do not like bra's.  They squeeze them together and make me sweat.  You have no boobies, well aren't you just so lucky.  It really makes me wonder if people with "fake girls" ever have "boiling boobies".  Hey, its a legitimate question.

The never ending, drive me crazy, get the freaking roads done already, construction.  
Destructive People
You know, those, gee, I'm so bored right now, lets go down that neighborhood and bust in their car windows.  What planet do these nuttjobs come from.

My eardrums have been itching like crazy lately.  Now, what does that mean?  I think its something like, "if your ears are itching, someone is talking about you".  Ok, fess up, who are you?  Are you talking about giving me lots of money.  I sure hope so, I could use it.  Christmas is on its way you know.
I like facebook.  I put awesome status's.  But apparently I don't have the "friend" base that others have because, well, I could say something like "I was walking across the street, and fell flat on my face".  No comments.  We could care less.  But then I see other people that make a comment like, "I ate frosting for breakfast" and they get 20 comments.   Yeah, I'm jealous, ok.  BIG FAT OLE JEALOUSY is showing its teeth.
Group Sex
hahahahaha, not really,  I was just making sure you were still reading.

Hot Dogs
I'm craving a big ole gas station hot dog, smothered in ketchup and mustard, grilled onions,  and sauerkraut. 

Invalid Words
Words with friends and their stupid, that is not an acceptable word.  Really, who is in charge of your dictionary. 

Just Rewards
Some people are really going to get them.  When the karma bus shows up with me driving.  Yeah, you better beware.

That would be me.  I am the biggest klutz butt there is.  I honestly can hear the furniture laughing at me when I trip or fall.  

Ok, I have it.  I just haven't been using it much.  Except for when my brother was in the hospital, then I was constantly trying to crack him up.  Do you think that when I die, they would play "Another One Bites The Dust".  It would be A.W.E.S.O.M.E.   Oh, get over yourself, it would be funny.  Admit it.
Matching With Friends
I'm pissed at Zynga right now.  Matching with Friends is by far my favorite game going right now, but they think that only those that have and iPhone, iPad, or iPod, should be able to play it.  They must have been paid rather well to keep it from all my friends (ok, a few of my friends, we already determined I don't have that many) that have androids.  I say, revolt.  Starting sending emails to Zynga.  I triple dog dare you.  And yes, remember, I am the email queen so I have sent one off to them.

Ok, most of them are the best thing ever.  But I have to bring up the nurse that my daughter-in-law had the day she was induced.  She almost got body slammed against the wall by me.  She was in no hurry to boost up the pitocin.  She outright told my daughter-in-law that labor doesn't start until you would come to the hospital with the pain.  Oh really, that drug is putting you in pain.  I've had it.  I know.  Reminded me of the nurse I had when I had back surgery who decided to walk clear around my bed, and clear back with the throw up catcher when I said I was going to barf.  Should have just barfed all over her.  

They have to be sweet.  Nuff said

Pleasing Others
I'm the type of person that feels like they have to always please other people.  Most the time this is good.  But sometimes it is just wrong.  Sometimes I really want to say things on my blog that I don't because I don't want to offend anyone.  This is going to change.  I'm going to say what I want to say, and use the words I want to use.  I won't go over the top, but I'm just warning you.
Quaker Oatmeal
I love the peaches and cream instant oatmeal.  Just add some coffee creamer to it and voila, a real treat.  Plus super easy to make if you have a Keurig.  Just don't put in a K-cup, and let the boiling water rip.  You're welcome.
Rotten Attitudes
Do not, I repeat, do not, bring your rotten attitude to the grocery store with you.  We all have the right to be buying groceries.  I get tired of negativity all the time.  Stay away.  I will take a picture of you with my camera for all the world to see.  Be scared.  Be very scared.

I swear.  I can keep up with the best of the best.  I am worse than you have ever read on here.  I'm still a good person.  

Leave me alone.  Don't even pretend to be reading my blog and wanting me to buy something from you.   You are banished forever!!!!

I put on my big girl panties today, gave myself a good wedgie, and told myself to get over it.  Somehow, somewhere, when I least expect it, someone will just jump out and say, YOU'RE HIRED.
And when I do get that job, victory will be mine.  And also my future employers.  Who will love me.  And wonder what they ever did without me.  

I'm still trying to lose, but I'm not going to give up the sweet stuff.  If you don't want to like me because I don't look like some skinny actress, too bad.  You are the loser.

Did you see Christopher on Project Runway who used his mom's x-ray for his material.  I thought that rocked.  Also, I so didn't want Demitri to win.  

I'm sure when I get a new job, you will hear me yelling.  Yes no matter how far you live from me.  You will know

I think if I would ever try this the class would be laughing hysterically at me.   Besides, every time I try to do something crazy like that, I'm asked to please stop.  It apparently hurts peoples eyes.  As if.....

You know, this has been a great thing for me to do.  Wait, are you still reading?  Gluttons for punishment, I can tell.