Thursday, May 24, 2012

Those Fracking Pleasant People




I have to put this out there.  Some people think I am always mad.  I'm not.  I'm a very happy go lucky kind of person.   This is my way of staying happy go lucky, and not internalizing the hate.  See, its a public service to each and every one of you.

Please link up with all your frustrations of the week.  I promise, you will feel better.

Dear McDonald's
Once upon a time you could claim that the Mac was Big.  I think nowadays it is false advertising.  I'm thinking you should change it to the fracken Small Mac.  Just sayin.

Dear Cashier at Krogers 
(I just looked up cashier on google, that's why she has a star face)
Thank you sooooo much for making my shopping experience last week such a joyous occasion.  I could tell from the moment I started putting stuff on the belt, you were just so dang excited to see me.  The way you treated me when I went to pay, and you couldn't get the card to read right, was downright mean.  I NEVER use a card if there isn't money on it.  Your accusations were unfounded.  You went out of your way to make me look bad to the customers standing in line.  I have had bad days at work.  But I can guarantee you, I never would have made a customer feel like a piece of dog poop because of it.   Wishing I was going to be around when the big ole fracken Karma Bus stops to see you.  

Dear Unified Police Officer Sitting At The 4 Way Stop
What the frack dude.  You were the first car there.  You therefore SHOULD HAVE BEEN the first one to go.  But no, you wanted to see what the rest of us would do.  Lucky for me, I turned left and you were going straight.  In like straight behind me.  I will go the speed limit.  I will play your game.  I have cop radar.  I can spot you before I get to you.  I can not tho stop my heart from racing like you are going to pull me over anytime for some unfounded offense.  Next time obey the rules of the road.  You, my dear, are still just a human being.  No better than the rest of us.

Dear Woman Walking Into Home Depot
Honestly lady, you are not the only person walking in and out of the store.  I had to laugh when you were walking.......so.........slow.......as.........to........say.......you........owned........the........road.  I especially enjoyed how your stared down the driver that was waiting for you to get across to the doors.  Guess what.  Your farts stink just like the rest of ours.  (well except for mine, because I don't do that stuff)  :)  Again, get over your fracking self.  No one is any better than anyone else.   In today's world you just don't dare someone to hit you.  They might  take you up on the offer.

That feels so liberating.  Get your frack on.  You might just like it.

14 comments:

  1. Oh yes, love those slow walkers and jaywalkers- in my state the law is I have to stop for you in the crosswalks....in.the.crosswalks. Not wandering back and forth wherever you want.

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  2. I hate those people...especially at Walmart...like don't tempt me bitch

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  3. Wow, what is WITH everybody this week?

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  4. The slow walkers don't really bother me (probably because I'm getting slower, and will continue to do so), but the unkind cashier would drive me nuts. I'd probably have sauntered by the Service Desk (or whatever they call it) on my way out, and complain, because I'm turning into a crotchedy old so-and-so.

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  5. I bitch all day long on my blog... Don't want to do it here...

    But you crack me up with your fracks girl!

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  6. I hope you reported that cashier at Krogers to the manager. But she probably would care either.
    Have a great weekend!
    m.

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  7. Crap! I meant "wouldn't care"!
    m.

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  8. Walk as slow as you want . . . just not down the middle, lady!

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  9. I love your fracks! They make me feel like I'm able to get rid of mine! I'm slowing up, too, but I always wave a "thank you" when I've held someone up. It's the least I can do for the fracks who HAVE TO BE THERE RIGHT NOW!!!

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  10. I might have had to say something to the fracking cashier. She needs to chill. And police cruisers who just wait for you like are irritating. I've seen them do it too. Do they really think we are that dumb?

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  11. Rant away young one. I always get a kick outta them. Hope this week is better for you.

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  12. I think the Big Macs are big! :D

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  13. Hey! That was me walkng slow and in the middle of the road...going to get me some lightbulbs. LOL

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