Hi, Buzzard the Fly here. Apparently Dazee was going to tell you all about how fracken rotten I am. I have taken care of that problem. I'm going to tell you what a problem she is to me.
I became an adult today. I found that my breeding ground was a very nice backyard. My humble beginnings started in some deer poop, left on the grass. aaaahhhh, freedom to fly.
Just got back from a meeting of the flies. They tell me I must travel 6 miles a day, but usually my com padres like to stay close to home. We were also told that we can expect our life spans to be from 15 to 30 days. I'm going for the gold.
Me and my brother have been flying around the outside of this building. Wait, the door is open. We flew in. Very nice. But we have a group meeting tonight so I decide we better leave. OH NO.......what is this glass apparatus. I......can't........get........out......
There is a human. We were warned about them. Aaahhhh, she is sleeping. Kamikaze attack of her head. Stupid girl, didn't even notice. She is moving. Attack, attack. She thinks if she swishes her hands to attack me I will stay away. What a fracken dummy.
What is that smell. It smells like food. Ick. Sure doesn't smell like home. Dazee is trying to eat it. Fly bomb to the scene. I haven't seen my brother around for a while. I wonder where he is. There she goes, trying to swish me away again. Will she never learn.
I'm in my prime of life. It is good. I have thoroughly aggravated Dazee. She is going into some type of room where there is an apparatus that has water in it. A swimming pool!!! Inside the house. Wait.......what the hell........she is sitting on it. Dive, dive, dive. Oh I made her mad. But ahhhh, it smells like home.
Just found my brother. We are in a place called the kitchen. There is a male human in here with Dazee. Wait........what is that in his hand. O.......M........G......., it's that apparatus they told us to be watchful for. Fly Bernard, fly for your.........life.......NOOOOOOO, he didn't make it........... wait, I see a dark black surface. I think they call it a stove top. I am going to land here and wait out the storm. That monster will never see me..........WAIT.........NOOOOOOOO
Note To Self. Must get a fly swatter for every room of the house