Friday, August 31, 2012

Ewwwww.....Fracking Really

I'm sitting in my office, minding my own business, when the doorbell rings, keeps ringing, non stop knocking.  I get the door unlocked and open when Mr. Dazee says, "come outside and bring your camera".  
When I get outside, he says to me "I want to show you something gross and disgusting".  You all know me, gross, disgusting plus camera equals a blog post.  Except I'm thinking of all the gross and disgusting things that can be outside, wondering if I really want to take a picture of deer poop, or a half eaten bird.  He takes me over to "the object".  

What The Frack is it?

Why, it's a used condom.  Yup, right in our gutter.  I'll give you a moment to throw up. .........

 I mean, I'm all about safe sex, but not exactly in front of my house, mmmkay.

So how was your week?

Wednesday, August 29, 2012

I Spy - Heat

This is the last week of August, right?  Honestly, the temps here are not cooperating with the time of the year.  We have been in the upper 90's all week, and even broke records the other day.  
Speaking of HEAT, that is our prompt for this week's I Spy.  (haha, didn't you love my segue right into that, yeah, I should be a TV host).  The other is our ever popular Your Choice.    Now, get on cracking and join in with Christy's Mad Mind and myself.  We don't bite.  (only our food, hahaha, I'm killing myself here, hahahaha)
We have a Hummingbird Feeder out on our patio.  Lately they have been getting together as a group in the mornings, just hanging out on their little perches, talking and enjoying the food.  Speaking of their food, it was time to make another batch of it today.  Grabbed my ingredients, 1-1/2 cups of sugar (yeah, they're not worried about their weight), water, stir it all together, drop in some red food coloring, and voila.  Heat it up on the stove. 
This is just when it is starting to heat up.

Get it going to a good hard boil
Cool it down, put in their restaurant feeder, and call them all to dinner.


On one of our weekend dates  jaunts, we stopped at Lowe's for some spider killer.  Well, it is that time of year.  Unless you like creepy crawly icky things in your house.  Me, not so much.

It was by the bird feeders, that I found the cutest regular bird feeder ever.  I mean, just look at it.  So, so, cute.  But alas, with all the high winds we get at our house, the bird seed would never stay in the feeder.  Dang that Mr. Dazee and his voice of reason!
But, I can dream, can't I?
Time for you to show us what you got!
Next Weeks Prompt
Buttons 9/6/12
Your Choice
Future Prompts
Sweet 9/13/12
Space 9/20/12
Paint 9/27/12
Look Up 10/4/12

Friday, August 24, 2012

What The Frack?

Hey there, what the frack is going on with your bad selves?  Yeah, I'm on a weird one today.  It's all good.
I have figured that whenever Mr. Dazee goes to Home Depot, I just have to go, sit in the car, and what the frack moments will happen.  
Sorry for the blurriness of this photo.  I was in a hurry to catch it, through a dirty window.  
Dear Mother With Baby In Cart At Home Depot
What the freaking frack is wrong with you?  Have you not heard of people kidnapping kids?  Do you not realize that as you were far away grazing gazing at trees, that your little one could have be swiped!!!  I wanted to do it myself to teach you a lesson, but then, the thoughts of prison life didn't sound so good.  Do you see that guy there mom? Oh wait, how could you, you weren't watching.  Good thing he wasn't a bad guy.  I have a good idea.  DON'T LEAVE YOUR BABY BY ITSELF!!!!!  Good hell.  
Dear Makers Of Party Times Neon Cups
What the frack happened here?  What a surprise, when I was pouring milk into above cup and it started shooting all over the counter.  
Methinks there is not supposed to be a big huge ole round hole at the bottom of the cup.  Was someone in the factory being accused of HATING their job?  Better get quality control on this one.

Dear Zynga, Maker of Matching With Friends
How the frack am I supposed to enjoy playing this game with ALL MY FRIENDS, when they can't get it on their android phones/tablets yet???? huh?  Tell me that!!!  This is my newest obsession, but I can't play with at least 2 of my adored friends because it's not available to them YET!!!  Get on the stick Zynga.  The world awaits.  

There you go, my rants of the week.  Please join in the fun. 

Wednesday, August 22, 2012

I Spy - Water

Holy Moly, its time for another round of I Spy.  Hosted by the ever lovely and talented Christy with her Mad Mind, and myself.  
Water you thinking?  Water you going to post a photo of?  Water is the problem with my vocabulary?  Tee-hee-hee.  If you couldn't tell one of our prompts this week is WATER.  The other, never to change is YOUR CHOICE.   I especially would like to give a shout out to Angel at Ramblings of a Southern Angel, who supports us so nicely in this memo.  
Remember, no one has the same ideas when it comes to reading a prompt and taking photos.  I for one am the "outside the box" kind of thinker.  Christy is a deeper thinker than me.  But we both come up with photo's from the prompts.  It's easy.  Please, join up.  You don't need a camera even.  If you have a phone, you have a camera.  Its that easy.  You can always make your photo's look brighter and stuff with the website PicMonkey.  Also, if you don't start joining up, besides me crying my eyes out and drowning your house, I will eat Bush's Baked Beans and a couple of hard boiled eggs, and come and SIT with you for an evening.  mwaa-haa-haaa
I have decided this week that I'm going to show you all the different, ok not all, but ways I have around my house of drinking water.  See, thinking outside the box.
The Water Bottle

The Water From The Fridge

Water From The Sink Faucet

Don't want just plain water.  I almost wrote plane water, which in of itself is another option.

Add A Pack Of Crystal Light
Yum, especially good when you let it sit in your freezer for 45 minutes so it becomes slushy.  

Flavored Bottle Water
This is my all time favorite.  White Grape.  


Christy loves to give me a bad time about my love of food.  I admit it.  I love food.  I went to lunch with my friend Pam from high school the other day.  We went to a Chinese place that has the best food.   The thing I crave from there the most are their Pot Stickers.  Oh my, party explosion in my mouth.  
They mix the sauce to your liking at your table.  I go with medium hotness.  
Just look at that goodness.   

Now come on, link on up.  I want to get your interpretation of water.

Next Weeks Prompts
Heat 8/30/12
Your Choice

Future Prompts
Buttons 9/6/12
Sweet 9/13/12
Space 9/20/12
Paint 9/27/12

Friday, August 17, 2012

Ewww, Ick, Put It Fracken Away

Doing the Friday Dance.  No particular reason, it just makes it one week closer to the birth of my newest grand baby.  

We are going to begin today with something that is truly gross and disgusting.  Shoulder hair.  

Dear Dude At Supercuts When I Was Getting My Hair Done
This picture does not do justice to how fracking gross and disgusting this guys shoulder/back hair was.  I was sitting too far away to snap a picture with my phone, and cropped it to where you can kind of make out how it was.   Good thing she snapped the cape on him because I was about to loose the lunch I hadn't eaten yet.  Dude, please, laser treatment, or a razor, look into it.  

Speaking of my new haircut and color, I went more blond.   This is my new cut
I know right.  I look really, really good.  

But I have carmel blond highlights
Getting the blonding process done
We could so be identical twins.  (tee-hee-hee) I think I am one brave soul even putting my picture underneath Allysa's.  Le sigh

On a very serious note.  Ok, not serious like a heart attack, but serious to me.  Apparently the grocery stores in the State of Utah have a rotten Salesperson in the following category.

Dear Contadina Sales Rep
You are not my friend.  This is the ONLY sweet and sour sauce I will buy.  Our local Harmon's grocery store used to carry it and I would buy bunches of it at a time.  Not so much anymore.  They have stopped carrying it.  

This is a call out to all my blogging buddies out there.  If your neighborhood grocery stores sales this fine, outstanding, make your mouth have a party, sauce, I would be willing to pay you to ship me a case of it.  I have resorted to needing a dealer.  That's right.  I have  reached the lowest of low.  I even went as far as emailing the company that makes it, Del Monte.  They weren't much help.  "We're sorry, no one within a 100 miles of you stocks our product".  I even went on to tell them I was looking for a job, and would surely do a better job of representing their company than the dumbass  sales rep that represents them now.  Ok, I didn't use dumbass, but you get my point.  Anypleasehaveit, if in your shopping adventures, you happen across this, please send me an email.  You would be my hero for life. (dazeedreamer @ hotmail dot com)

Got any gripes today.  Grab my little purple lady and have at it.

Wednesday, August 15, 2012

I Spy - Plants

Well hello there all my little Amoeba's.  Hahahaha, did you get it?  Remember many moons ago learning about them in Science Class.  Oh, you can't well, it kind of goes with  PLANTS which is one of the prompts for this weeks I Spy.  The other is the ever most popular YOUR CHOICE.

I have a little confession to make.  Christy's Mad Mind and my crazy one, have had this little photo meme going for almost a year.  We have had some fun prompts.  We haven't given you hard ones.  I was hoping by now that we would have tons of you linking up every week.  But alas, it hasn't been so.  This hurts my feel-goods.  I, by no means, am a professional photographer.  I just love taking pictures.  We would even take ideas that you would like to do.  We are so easy it's crazy.  So, please, don't make my feel-goods, feel bad.  Join on up, its really fun.
There, my chest is feeling much better.  On with this weeks prompts.
I thought I would show you the difference a year or two makes on the plants that Mr. Dazee has worked lovingly on.  Have I mentioned that man rocks my world.  (hehehe, get it, rocks, in front of the house, ok, shutting up)
(surprise on the day lilies, I think the deer are on vacation this week)


It took me until today to figure out what I was going to do with this weeks prompt.  I know, that's what happens when you have a brain cramp.  I open my front door to go out to snap some photo's, lo and behold, this is what greeted me.
After I hurried and shut the door, calmed down my racing heart and composed myself, I figured he would become my choice.  Loved how he tried to blend into the woodwork.  Yes, he is a he.  I checked.  bwaaa-haaa-haaa

Next Weeks Prompts
Water 8/23/12
Your Choice

Friday, August 10, 2012

Frick, Frack, Paddywack Way To Honk Your Horn

I have a few things I would like to get off my chest this week, with the most important being my bra.  tee-hee-hee.  You so weren't expecting that one, were you.
If you want to join in the fun, grab the little ole purple haired lady and join in.  I will even include a link up, because I have faith I might have a few want of you who want to join in the fun.
To The Older Than Me People At Big Lots
Who spit in all your cheerios the other day?  Geez, You were all in the "get out of my way woman" mood.  Thanks for not moving to the right, or left to let me get by.  I understand you might find something you want for a cheap price, and I guarantee you, I wasn't looking for the same thing, so there was no need for you to hurry and grab it.  Honestly.  You might need to get out just a little more often.  
Dear Dude Walking Out Of Home Depot By My Car
Really, did you just do what I saw and heard since my window was down.  Yes, you, MR SNOT ROCKET.  You are in a public place!!!!  There were women and children, and me, sitting, oh yes, that close to you, with my window open in the sweltering 104 degree heat.  As I was throwing up, I couldn't get my camera out fast enough to shoot you snap a picture of your fine outstanding gross self.  But I did get a photo, and for all you who wonder how close he was, X does mark the spot and this was taken from my seat in the car.   I understand that's the way "you did things on the farm", but us city folk just can't stand it.  May the next snot rocket you shoot get caught up in the wind and hit you right back smack in the middle of your eyes!!!!!
This next FRACK YOU goes out to all the butt awful, piece of shit garbage, bosses out there that have "let people go" this week.  I have 2 friends that were let go for almost as stupid of reasons as I was.   I have another few that were "promised" things that aren't happening.  
So this little song ONEY, by Johnny Cash is for you, my fellow been stepped on, chewed up and spit out friends.  I know I would like to beat the crap out of my boss.  
It might just make my day.
There you have it.  Please join in the fun.  You will feel so much better

Wednesday, August 8, 2012

I Spy - Favorite Food

Hi there my little buck a roo's.  As I'm typing this post, I would like to mention, that there is another fire going on behind my house.  Yeah, I know.  My mom would tell me that it's my fault I live close to a mountain, and that Camp Williams (Utah National Guard) were here before me.  Guess what.  Camp Williams can kiss my butt.  Oh, and the fun thing about this fire?  Live ammunition in the ground, so they can't drop firefighters in there.  Yup.  Here is a photo I took for the office just off our bedroom.  I wanted you all to see how close it is to my house. 
Moving on.  It is time for I Spy with my bestest of buddies Christy and her Mad Mind.  You know the drill, two prompts, one is always the same, which is Your Choice, and this weeks prompt is Favorite Food.  Now, you don't know this but Christy loves to tease me about my love for food.  I can't help it.  I does my body good.    Today while Mr. Dazee and I were out, we stopped at our favorite sandwich place and got us a large peppersteak sandwich, with everything on it.  I thought I would give you a step by step process of me eating one of my favorite foods.
First, I have to decide my carb to insulin ratio.  What?  You don't have to do that?  No freaking fair.  I want a redo.  Here is my insulin pen just waiting to make a visit to my stomach.  Yes, I had to have 50 units this time.  
This is the sandwich as I pulled it out of the bag.  They don't put the hot peppers on the sandwich so you can add how many you want.
Next I opened up the wrapper.  What to my eyes should appear, but the best looking sandwich I have seen in a long, long time.
Here is the glorious food, with a healthy helping of miracle whip, salt and pepper, and of course the peppers.  Look at it and droll
Now, for my choice, but keeping it the favorite food category.  You have all meet my wonderful and fabulous cwason April.  Last year I went up to her neck of the woods to visit.  We left the kids with her husband, and after a full day of playing, we were hungry.  Stopped off at ummm, where the heck did we stop off at?  Doesn't matter.  She was sooooo tired, because, admit it, you have read about our adventures.  Her hamburger finally arrived, and she just had to lay her head down and kiss that ole burger.  I'm surprised that she didn't start snoring right there and then.
No, that is not a fly by her nose.  That would be the cute little frilly toothpick they stick in your sandwiches in restaurants.  
There you have it.  Cross your fingers that I don't get evacuated.  Of course, you all know that I'm a rebel so I won't anyway, unless the shrapnel starts flying then I will be all "RUN FORREST RUN".
Next Weeks Prompts
Plants 8/16/12
Your Choice
Future Prompts
Water 8/23/12
Heat 8/30/12
Come on, I triple dog dare you to link up.

Monday, August 6, 2012

Oh John....**facepalm**

(sorry about the image quality, it's the only one I could find)

Meet John Goulet, weekend weatherman on our local Fox 13 Utah news.  

Yesterday, while my oldest son, Mr Dazee, and myself were watching the morning news, they had a guest on that was talking about how the NASA Rover Curiosity was scheduled to land last night.  The guest mentioned that people could go up to the University of Utah to view it.  

Now, I must put this out here.  Johnny boy drives me a little bit crazy.  He doesn't go into segues very well, and there are many times he shouldn't open his mouth at all.  

Case in point.

The news anchor and John were sitting cozily on the couch having a chat.  They were asking her questions.   Mr, this is why I'm a weatherperson, asks, and I quote,
What the??????  Coffee comes squirting out of my nose.  I am not making this up.  Watch this clip.  It is around the 1.20 mark.  I'll wait...........................................
......................talking amongst myself...............

Oh John, you have outdone yourself this time.  Mr C at age 8 could have told you all about the Rover and how long it takes to get to Mars, and probably the temp there.  I myself, not being the science and knowledgeable person, knew that this was a 9 month flight just to get there.  

If I had been the director that is constantly talking in their ears, he would have been hearing this,
"John, you are a dumb ass."

Maybe weekend weathermen, because usually the weatherwomen aren't so weird, shouldn't be allowed to talk to guests.  

Just sayin.

Friday, August 3, 2012

Fracken Fly vs Dazee

Today, I am going to rant about, *bam, pow, hey what you doing, what's this bag you are putting over my head, ajeorhdjda adhjkd;ladjd *

Hi, Buzzard the Fly here.  Apparently Dazee was going to tell you all about how fracken rotten I am.  I have taken care of that problem.  I'm going to tell you what a problem she is to me.

Day One
I became an adult today.  I found that my breeding ground was a very nice backyard.  My humble beginnings started in some deer poop, left on the grass.  aaaahhhh, freedom to fly.

Day Two
Just got back from a meeting of the flies.  They tell me I must travel 6 miles a day, but usually my com padres like to stay close to home.  We were also told that we can expect our life spans to be from 15 to 30 days.  I'm going for the gold.

Day Three
Me and my brother have been flying around the outside of this building.  Wait, the door is open.  We flew in.  Very nice.  But we have a group meeting tonight so I decide we better leave.  OH NO.......what is this glass apparatus.  I......can't........get........out......

Day Four
There is a human.  We were warned about them.  Aaahhhh, she is sleeping.  Kamikaze attack of her head.  Stupid girl, didn't even notice.  She is moving.  Attack, attack.  She thinks if she swishes her hands to attack me I will stay away.  What a fracken dummy.

Day Five
What is that smell.  It smells like food.  Ick.  Sure doesn't smell like home.  Dazee is trying to eat it.  Fly bomb to the scene.  I haven't seen my brother around for a while.  I wonder where he is.  There she goes, trying to swish me away again.  Will she never learn.

Day Six
I'm in my prime of life.  It is good.  I have thoroughly aggravated Dazee.  She is going into some type of room where there is an apparatus that has water in it.  A swimming pool!!!  Inside the house.  Wait.......what the hell........she is sitting on it.  Dive, dive, dive.  Oh I made her mad.  But ahhhh, it smells like home.

Day Seven
Just found my brother.  We are in a place called the kitchen.  There is a male human in here with Dazee.  Wait........what is that in his hand.  O.......M........G......., it's that apparatus they told us to be watchful for.  Fly Bernard, fly for, he didn't make it........... wait, I see a dark black surface.  I think they call it a stove top.  I am going to land here and wait out the storm.   That monster will never see me..........WAIT.........NOOOOOOOO

Note To Self.  Must get a fly swatter for every room of the house

Wednesday, August 1, 2012

I Spy - Eye Candy

Another day, another employment rejection letter.  Don't these places know what they are missing out on.  I guess not.  Losers.
One thing that is always going to be a constant is Christy's Mad Mind and my crazy one, doing our little I Spy photo challenge.  This week the prompts are EYE CANDY and YOUR CHOICE.  Get those photo's linked up.  I want to see what you think Eye Candy is.  
Once upon a time, when I was "hating" my job, I was the candy supplier.  See what they are missing out on.  

Feast your eyes on my very first attempt at monkey bread.  Must.....make.....soon..... 

We all know that I love shoes, they just don't love me.  Besides, I don't want people laughing their heads off watching me walk around in anything that has a heel.  Yikes.  I took a little trip to Kohls,  wandered over to their shoe department and got my fix for Eye Candy Shoes.

Oh, my......

Dear Weight Genie, I want to be a size 6 and be able to wear these shoes.   Do you hear that?  She's over in the corner laughing hysterically.

What can I say about these.  They kind of make me want to hurt someone. 
Mr. Eye Candy Himself.......Mr. Dazee.   After 35 years of being together, this man still makes my heart all twitterpated.  I was at the Park that is by our house the other day for a family party.  We can see our house from the park.  I was talking to my sisters and he came outside to, make my heart go pitter-patter,  do something in the yard, and I said to them, oh my, that man, he makes my heart and soul so happy.  Yeah, I'm a goonball, but I love that man of mine.  (I know you just heard that line in Beetlejuice)

Ok, calming down.  

You so thought I was going to put a picture of Shemar, didn't you.  Fooled you!

Next Weeks Prompts
Favorite Food 8/9/12
Your Choice

Future Prompts
Plants 8/16/12
Water 8/23/12
Heat 8/30/12