OMG, you are fracking driving me to drink. You shut the road down to widen it. You open it up. Joy and rapture are shared by all, having to deal with this for the last year. But wait, lets close the road down again to do the manholes. One week later, we are open again. But no, now lets close it down yet again to put in the above photo of pipe, which I think it for utilities or something. Not to mention, when you widened the road, you put down nice, new, never been driven on asphalt. Lets dig more holes. We'll just cover it up with more asphalt.
You don't see the home builders finishing up the outside, letting the people move in, only to move them out again when it is convenient for them to come in and do the inside, moving them out yet again while they put all the cabinets and finish stuff in. No Sir Ree. Become more like them. Keep the damn road closed for a month longer to get the WHOLE JOB DONE!!!!
*channeling my chi*
Dear Plastic Wrap
I really fracken hate you. You come out of the box, oh so nicely. Then becomes the battle from hell. By the time I get it
massacred torn from the box, it is in no means ready to just cover anything. Oh no. We have now stuck together in all imaginable ways. We are munched, we are will no longer able to pull the edges off of each other.
I have an idea. Instead of having some dinosaur thing that you are supposed to be able to tear across, why not make a little slicer thing like the paper cutters have. Slice and go. Until you do, I will be one of your worst enemies.
Dear Aisle Hogger Dude At Cafe Rio
(yes, this is an original Dazee Dreamer Rendition)
When I walked into the door last week to pick up some yummy sweet pork salads, there you were. Right in front of the door, scooted out to almost touching the guy in the chair behind you. No, you were not overweight, you were just a fracken creep. You didn't even have enough decency to move in closer to the table as I was trying to get my
fat body through the small space you had left for people. I'm glad my belly touched your back. I hope it made your day. You are just fracken lucky I didn't pull out my camera and snap your photo. Oh, I was tempted. I really was.
May your armpits be infested by 1000 fire ants!!!
Phew, I am feeling so much better.
Now it's your turn.