Wednesday, April 20, 2011

I Just Became A Germaphobe

I've never been one to fret too much about germs.  You know, grab paper, no problem.  Handle money, no problem.  But yesterday, was a kind of day that you have to rethink what you are doing.

First off, a friend was telling me about her relative that is a cat lady.  Not a ton, but "right now" only 3.  Said relative would separate the cats into different rooms if they didn't get along.  Now, she isn't a "hoarder" type cat lady.  Her house is spotless.  You wouldn't even know that she had cats, it's that clean. 

Anycatloverlater, last week one of her cats died.  Natural causes I think.  Who knows, could have maybe called in my boyfriend to solve it, but, well, it's a cat.  Relative is devastated.  Which I can understand.  We had our 2 cats 18 and 19 years.  Its a horrible loss to lose a member of your family.  Relative had cat approximately 5 to 6 years.  The loss is more than she can handle. 

Did she have the cat cremated?  No.  Did she bury it?  No.  She thinks the ground is too frozen right now.  Do you know where her cat is?
Tucked away nicely in her freezer. 
Excuse me a minute while I throw up. 
By the way, the ground is not too frozen, even tho we have had nothing but rain and snow all month.  Weeds are growing in my backyard.  That means, prime bury the cat weather.  Just sayin.  I honestly would never be able to go pull something out of the freezer ever again if one of my cats was being kept hostage frozen in there.  Especially if the cat IS STILL IN THERE!  No, you grab that pound of hamburger.  I'll just avert my eyes for a minute.

(going to my happy place)

But if you think that is bad, here is the big, super reason I have decided that I just can't be a fancy free person anymore.  Show up to work yesterday.  My morning routine begins by me making a cup of Peaches and Cream Instant Oatmeal.  (yum)  While it is getting thick, I go out to our counter area and grab the paperwork from the afternoon before  Are you still with me here?  Its gets better.  (or not)

I grab the pick tickets out of the basket.  My thumb connects with something gooey.  I start to freak out. 
Beg one of the guys to please take his glove and wipe off whatever it is.  He takes a look and starts gagging.  Not looking favorable.  He won't do it, but he did grab some paper towels and wiped it off as we both threw up a little.

I decided that immediate action was required.  Thank goodness we have latex gloves for the plumbers.  (well, ummm, yeah, I wouldn't want to be changing out someones toilet that I didn't know)  The fine, outstanding counter guy that gagged along with me decided I needed a whole box.  They are now in my desk. :)

(Why yes, that's a rubber finger, a girl just can't have enough protection)
Notice and remember how white these germ savers are.

Now, ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I show you the following Exhibits
Close up of the biggest, gooeyiest spot. 
 No, you don't get the full beautiful grossed out effect that I got.  But still.

A smaller even hard to see spot of goo.
 I wore both gloves whenever touching the pick tickets or receivers (packing slips)  I always knew that my hands got dirty.  After doing them, I will wash my hands and to say the amount of dirt that comes off of them is, ummm, bad.

Exhibit C shows the amount of "dirt" I got yesterday.  Again, picture doesn't do it justice.

Oh, and now, my boss thinks I'm a freaking loon.  Ok, he already kind of knew that, but he walked in to give me some paperwork while I was taking the above picture.  Oops.  But even funnier?  He came in earlier to have me write a check.  I was working away with my protection.  He said, "looks serious".  I told him all about the gooey mess and then I think he threw up a little in his mouth.  I went to hand him a pen because the check required 2 signatures, and my glove touched his hand.  He was like, "oh no, you touched me with your gross glove".  ahahahahahah, hehehehehe.  Poor guy, NOT. 

After talking with the dude in charge of deliveries, and by the signature of who delivered it, ie: scaryman, we just couldn't decide if he hawked a loogie, or did one of his famous snot rockets.  I've never seen him hawk a loogie, but have witnessed the fine gross job he does on the snot rockets. 

One moment please, gag, gag, gagging some more.

All better now.

And this is why I have become a germaphobe.