"I'm so excited, and I just can't hide it, I'm about to loose control and I think I like it." Oh yeah, Friday, last day of my work week and the day that Christy and Boobies set aside for me to let it out, let it all out.
Dear Lady Walking Her Dog On The Street Where I live
You are the first winner of, "Oh Really?" Maybe you haven't heard, but daylight savings time ended last Sunday. I also understand that you are a fine, responsible,
stupid owner of a dog. I appreciate the fact that you were out walking said dog. I don't appreciate you stopping to, oh, I don't know, rest at the side of the road, but not really "at the side". More "out in the street". Your dog wasn't even going to the bathroom, it was SITTING on the street while you were, shall we say, looking around. Do you know where the sun is at say, 4:45 in the evening. Right in my eyes, shining ever so brightly into my face. I didn't want to hit your dog, so I kind of went to the other side of the street. Because of the glaring sun, I didn't see the car coming right at me. Frack you for almost getting myself killed so I didn't hurt your dog. Park yourself somewhere else next time, M.K.
Dear Jiffy Lube Commercial Featuring Katie & Jack
Really? You think that Katie and Jack at dinner, all dressed up to the max, and Jack telling Katie he has something to tell her, is an awesome commercial? Think again. I couldn't even find the commercial anywhere to post it here. Yeah, what does that say. You have always bugged me. Get off of my TV. I'll keep my ride alive without you, thank you very much.
Dear Sellers of The Tattoo Barbie On Amazon.com
Oh, Really? You have got to be fracking kidding me. You really think that I want her bad enough that I will pay $450.00 to $600.00 bucks for her. I can buy a lot of Christmas presents for that much. Yes, I want her. I'd even be willing to pay $50 on the one site, if they had any in stock. Imagine that, they are sold out. Lots of
little girls women my age want this barbie, but I do have my limits. (tear, tear)
Okey Dokey Smokey Chokey's. Feeling much better. Ready to face my day with a dazzling smile.