Tuesday, December 6, 2011

Because You Never Know What I Might Say On Facebook

I have a confession to make.  
I usually can not make a "standard" comment on Facebook.  I usually don't even make normal status updates.  I'M NOT NORMAL.  I know this.  I admit it.  And I like it.  

But last night, one of my friends asked a normal, please help me conversation.  
I tried to be helpful.  I really truly did.  
I pulled in all my math knowledge from school and you will see what I came up with.

My Friend:  I need a math person to do a math problem for me.. and explain how they did it.. I think it's basic high school algebra.. which I FLUNKED THREE TIMES..
If I do 214 problems and I get 182 right.. what is my percentage ... and how did you figure that out..
thank you..  (don't even get me going on Algebra, Geometry, and all those other useless maths, I just do basic and most the time I need a calculator for that)

My Friend's Normal Friend:  182 divided by 214 times 100 equals 85%
(yeah, what he said)

Mutual Friend: 85%.... You can do it a couple of ways. 214 divided by 182 or 182 times 100 divided by 214. Does that make sense? 
(as much sense as a toothache)

My Friend: Thank you.. I wasn't coming up with the numbers they were..then I decided I had different numbers than their computer has... one number changes with every hit.. I'm good.. 
(what the?)

(Then, I can hold back no longer)
Dazee: and then you take the square root of 97 and place two zero's in front of it. all the while, taking into account how far the sun is away from the earth. Then you add the train that left new york and the train that left los angeles, and when they meet how many apples do they have. got it? 

(and this is why I love my friends)
My Friend: and if a train left Manhattan at seven in the evening and headed toward Utah at 87 miles an hour..and a plane left Utah headed toward Manhattan at 200 miles per hour.. at what point, could you flush the toilet in your plane and hit me in my train? 

Mutual Friend: I've got a mega slingshot. Or better yet, let's find a body to shove in a canon. If we time it right, the body will sail through the sludge dropped from the plane on its way to the train. 

Dazee: oh oh pick me pick me. I have just the body I want shoved in the canon.

Mutual Friend:  I'm sure we could have a whole pile of em. Just one caboooom after another! 

I think this is why I only have 66 friends. :)

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