Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Things that Make me Crazy

Yup, it's what you think it is. Good ole bird poop on my car. And that is only one spot that the damn things hit on the car. Four freaking other spots. One was even on the driver's side window, (how in the hell did it land on the side window) right where if you were looking to the left to check the lane next to you, it was right there. I freaked out every time, because it looked like a car was going to run into me.

What must be going through these birds minds. "ah, there's a nice clean car, uh, oh, I'm feeling a little rumble in my tummy, oops" SPLAT.

Damn birds. And when it hits your windshield, and you turn on the wiper and spray the fluid, it just smears. errrrrrrr. And do you know, it's like there is some kind of paint in their damn poop. You almost need paint thinner to wash it off your car.

Good thing it rained today!!

The other thing that bugged the crap out of me today was this train. Yup, this very train. There is a switching station just to the south of my work. Sometimes it feels like there is an earthquake going on when they attach to each other. Do you know what their whistles mean? I do. Do you know how I know? Because I got so miffed with them always blowing them, that I sent a fine little email to Union Pacific. Asked them if there was a reason they needed to blow their damn horns for freaking ever. Here is the one I'm always hearing.

lllooonnnggg lllooonnnggg short lllooonnnggg (aahh, horror music to my ears)

That means, "I'm coming to an intersection, I'm coming to an intersection, I SAID, I'M COMING TO AN INTERSECTION"

Some engineers aren't too bad. Toot their little whistles and go on their way. Then there is the engineer today. He must have tooted that horn for a good five minutes. Took him f..o..r..e..v..e..r to get to the intersection, and then HE STARTED BACKING UP. Omg! I have a cap gun in my desk drawer just for these occasions. I pull that sucker out, shoot it a few times at the train, and feel better. (Plus, I like the way it smells when I shoot it) It's probably good they don't know that I'm in my office shooting my toy cap gun at them. They might turn me in for terrorism.

Tomorrow will be a better day, right?


  1. You have a cap gun???? Why doesn't that surprise me????? haha! :)

  2. yup, I have a cap gun. And it rocks. I have shot it at my phone at times too, but don't tell anyone. :)

  3. He he he he he he he he he......I am always laughing my head off when I read your rants! You crack me up! :)