You ever had one of those days, when you think to yourself, what did I do? Me neither.
Dear Mr. Sun, Sun, Mr. Golden Sun.
Thank you so much for coming out to play on Saturday. Mr. Dazee has been lovingly referring to me as "his little matchstick". Have you forgotten that I do not tan, but burn. Oh wait, that is my responsibility. Has mother nature grounded you? I was just wondering since we haven't seen you much in the last month. It was a happy reminder of our good days together. Please come out to play again soon.
Dear Dudes That Work For the Railroad.
I understand that you work with big, huge, trains day in and day out. But when you get in your own vehicle, you are the worst drivers I have ever seen. You either try to run me off the road, or drive so slow that I want to hit you. I also appreciate the fact that choo-choo trains don't have to use signals. YOU ARE NOT ON A TRAIN. You are in your car. Use them.
I don't know whether to thank you or be upset with you for sending me an email telling me all about your new K-Cup flavor. Chocolate Macaroon. Are you kidding me? I..must..buy..you..with..all..your..hot..goodness..
Please stop putting the drug in your Sugar Cookies that make me crave them. Especially when I'm having one of those days. I know, that drug is sugar, but I mean, really. The stars are aligning just right lately for my car to automatically turn off onto the road that you are on. I'm thinking I might need an intervention.
Sometimes I just want to live in a pineapple under the sea.
I sent you an email (I know, dear readers, you are shocked). Thank you for finally getting back to me that you have no plans as of yet to come to my fair city. I hope you enjoyed my reply back telling you that your biggest competition and former partner Costa Vida, IS coming to town. Just remember, the early bird catches the worm. They are going to make a ton of money. Someday, somehow, one of you big corporations that I email we realize that I'm a good judge of what needs to happen.