I know that today is the first day of summer. At least that is what the calendar is telling me. I am so sorry that you had to be called back into active duty on Sunday night. You see, mother nature is fighting with us mere humans. I know you had plans to just sit back and relax for at least 3 or 4 months. Please know that as soon as M.N. gets her crap together, you will have the vacation you well deserve.
Dear Air Conditioning,
Really, it's not our fault. You're on, you're off. You were working so hard to please us on Saturday, then, bam, M.N. had a meltdown. Poor Mr. Heater was called into active duty as it dipped into cold weather, with yes, say it with me, SNOW IN THE MOUNTAINS. Uh huh. You have been on vacation way too long. You need to get all your air conditioning friends together and picket M.N. I'm behind you 100%.
Dear Sara Lee,
Are you kidding me? Has this been the slogan all along? Maybe you should look into some enunciation lessons. Maybe I don't like Sara Lee. Did you ever think of that? No, you didn't. You just assumed that nobody doesn't like them. Bad Sara Lee, Bad.
Dear Certain Person,
Nope, the world still doesn't revolve around YOU.
Too bad, so sad.
Have a good one.