Tuesday, June 28, 2011



Another weekend gone, another day of Dear Letters.   
For those of you that have never read my Dear Letters, they are my weekly affirmations of people that need to get a letter from me.  They can be good or bad.  One never knows.  

Let's begin.

Dear Furniture Stores
Has there ever been a weekend that you haven't been having "A Mega Blowout" Sale, "Holiday" Sale, "Going Out of Business" Sale (every weekend for the last year), etc, etc, etc Sale?  My mind is boggled by all these sales.  Why don't you do us all a favor and mark the items for the sale price right from the start?  

and while we are at it,

Dear Car Dealership Commercials
Your commercials are beyond aggravating.  The LOUD dude screaming  the deals, as fast as he can go, is driving me to drink.  hahaha, get it, driving me.  Moving on.

Dear Cleaning Lady At Work
There are two types of pens on my desk
I appreciate you cleaning my desk.  But please in the future, do not cause me a heart attack by moving my insulin.  It has its place.  Yes, I'm old, and sometimes get excited to eat my lunch before shooting up. But when you do something like this,
And I don't think to look in there, I have a little panic, oh my gosh, where is my pen, attack.  Yeah, so maybe I should have looked there sooner, but I didn't.  My pancreas forever thanks you.

Dear Dude On Freeway And Road Engineers Of Cloverleaf On and Off Ramps
Road Engineers:  What the hell were you thinking.  Geez
Dude:  I understand it is a cloverleaf, and you are a scary looking, maybe not the brightest driver on the road kind of guy.   But there is a thing called MERGING.  If you see me getting on the freeway, and trying to build up speed, and you are already going the speed limit, DO NOT FREAKING SLOW DOWN NEXT TO ME, AND THEN GIVE ME THE LOOK OF DEATH AS TO WHY YOU CAN'T MOVE OVER.  
Honestly, I sped up, you sped up, I slow down, you slow down.  I'm sorry you missed your turn off.  I'm sorry you had to go to the next off ramp, which happened to be the same one I was going to.  Yes, ole crazy one, I locked my doors while we sat at the red light side by side, while you stared your ugliness at me.  Sorry, but in my book, SNOOZE YOU LOSE BUDDY.  

Dear Bird
Seriously, did you have a bad case of diarrhea or what?  I don't think I've ever seen anything like this from a bird on my car window before
Excuse me while I throw up a little in my mouth.

That's it for this week.  Join me again next week.  I might even have some nice letters.  :)

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