Today I must talk about a very delicate subject. The treatment of business phones. As I was walking to the fax room today, I happened upon "scarymans" phone. Huge tears were falling. Have you ever seen a phone crying? It's not a pretty sight.
Scaryman is very abusive to his phone. He talks very meanly to it, he "hack-hack-hacks" with that annoying smokers cough (I'm hoping that's all it is) straight into it's mouthpiece. He never gives it a sponge bath. The poor thing.
But by far the worst thing he does, is SLAM the poor handset, EVERY SINGLE TIME HE HANGS UP! I actually hear a little screech everytime he does it. Doesn't he realize that a little piece of it's body is damaged each and every time he does that? Does he not realize that all the phones have a little get together every night when the lights are off. (geez, has he not seen Toy Story, it happens) I'm sorry that I had to bring up such a serious subject, but remember, it hurts too. It's just trying to do it's job. I'm fearing a revolt as the phones unite. Heaven help us when that day arrives. 
