Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Oh Joy - Story Problems

 I hated story problems in school.  Honestly, what was up with the train left here and the other train left here and how many apples did they each have when they met here?  WTH.  And this was supposed to help me in my life how?  By the way, you know how people say, I heart you?  But it's the picture of a heart.  Is there anything for the word detest?  If there is, will you let me know.  Thanks
In order to bring you a little bit of agony today, I'm going to give you a story problem pop quiz.  I, at least, had a 1 in 3 chance of getting the answer right if they were multiple choice answers.  So I will also give you those.  See how nice I am.
Problem 1
A girl places an ad on a local site kind of like Craigslist.  Hubby calls on said ad.  Asks girl for directions.  Takes said directions and off we go, into the wild black yonder.  When SELLING an item, which of the following is true.
A.  Leave off porch light on very dark street
B.  Live in an apartment with no easily seen house number
C.  Don't listen for doorbell or knock on the door
D.  All of the above
 Problem 2
After driving around and finally seeing people talking outside where you can ask where in the hell you are, you find said apartment.  When FATHER of girl FINALLY answers the door, what should he do?
A.  Give hubby dirty looks while you are standing there
B.  When being asked if *Julia* is there, ask rudely, "what do you need her for"
C.  Finally invite in prospective buyers and go find *Julia*
D.  All of the above
Problem 3
You and your hubby are driving home from watching your granddaughter's dance recital.  Since December in the northern hemisphere is the darkest month ever, you need to turn on your bright lights.  Of course, Murphy's law says, another car will be coming towards you, so no can do.  You see a deer, crossing the road at the last minute.  What should the DEER do?
A.  Hurry it's little butt across the street
B.  Tell his girlfriend/wife to hurry her butt also
C.  Run like hell when the car starts blaring it's horn.
D.  None of the above
Problem 4
You have just woken up to your alarm clock.  You do your normal routine.  Potty, brush teeth, shower.  While in the shower, your body is saying things to you like, "you thought you were done on the toilet, but I have news for you".  You get done with your shower, willing you body to not "go", spot a spider right by the shower mat.  Do YOU?
A.  Hurry and dry off your body
B.  Try to decide whether to kill the spider or head for the toilet
C.  Decide on killing spider first as he could hide and bite you later
D.  Wish you would have picked the toilet first
E.  Take another shower
F.  All of the above
Pass your quiz one person up and we will now grade the tests.
Problem 1  D  
Good luck selling your stuff blondie
Problem 2   D
Bit my tongue because I really wanted to say, we were looking for a good time. wink, wink.
Problem 3   D
The deer think that this is their street.  We are just occupying their space.
Problem 4   A,B,C,D
Would have liked to have taken another shower, but time did not permit.  Sponge bath had to do.  I know, TMI.
You all did so well on this pop quiz.  Because of that, get your permission slips signed.  We are going on a field trip tomorrow.