Friday, April 15, 2011

Dazee's Public Service - State Laws You Should Be Aware Of

I decided that since the summer vacation season is soon upon us, I would help you out with a few little laws you should know about if you are planning on traveling to another State other than your own. 
You're welcome.  :)

Boogers may not be flicked into the wind.
but it's ok to just drop them on the ground

ALASKA, Juneau
Owners of flamingos may not let their pet into barber shops
call me crazy, but I don't think of flamingos when thinking of Alaska

ARIZONA, Prescott
No one is permitted to ride their horse up the stairs of the county court house
damn, and I was all set to go to Arizona by horseback

ARKANSAS, Little Rock
Dogs may not bark after 6 PM
wow, those are some well trained dogs

You are not permitted to wear cowboy boots unless you already own at least two cows
I guess they are taking cow-boy literal here

COLORADO, Sterling
Cats may not run loose without having been fit with a taillight
have you ever tried fitting a cat with a taillight?  good luck with that

You aren’t allowed to cross a street while walking on your hands
there goes that great idea I had

DELAWARE, Rehoboth Beach
Alcohol may not be served in nightclubs if dancing is occurring on the premises at the same time
alrighty then

You may not fart in a public place after 6 PM
save it for you car, like I did while dating Mr. Dreamer.  what?

No one may carry an ice cream cone in their back pocket if it is Sunday
rest of the week is just fine

Coins are not allowed to be placed in one’s ears
other body parts are just fine

IDAHO, Boise
Residents may not fish from a giraffe’s back
wow, must be a huge giraffe population in Boise

The Law forbids eating in a place that is on fire
gosh, they take all the fun out of dining out

Baths may not be taken between the months of October and March
ummm, well that just stinks!!

IOWA, Marshalltown
Horses are forbidden to eat fire hydrants
well, you've heard the saying, you can lead a horse to water, but you can't let it eat the hydrant :)

Hitting a vending machine that stole your money is illegal
they must have way bad overcrowding in their jails.  just sayin

KENTUCKY, Fort Thomas
Dogs may not molest cars

It is illegal to rob a bank and then shoot at the bank teller with a water pistol
this is a holdup, squirt-squirt

MAINE, Freeport
It is illegal to expectorate from any second-story window
and because they used such a big word, I had to look it up
to eject or expel matter, as phlegm, from the throat or lungs by coughing or hawking and spitting; spit
I'd like to see an "it is illegal to expectorate anywhere" law

MARYLAND, Rockville
Persons may not swear while on the highway
that's it, Maryland is off my vacation schedule!!

Snoring is prohibited unless all bedroom windows are closed and securely locked
so, not, fair
It is illegal to let your pig run free in Detroit unless it has a ring in its nose
well that's just unjust discrimination by darn

MINNESOTA, Cottage Grove
 Airplanes may not be landed in city parks
but crashing is totally ok

It is unlawful to shave in the center of main street
totally going to try getting away with that one

MISSOURI, Columbia
You can not have a antenna exposed outside of your house yet you can have a 25′ satellite dish
it's called priorities people

It is illegal to have a sheep in the cab of your truck without a chaperone
because what happens with the sheep in Montana, stays in Montana :)

If a child burps during church, his parent may be arrested
they take their religion serious in that thar state

Everyone walking the streets is required to wear a mask
that is just scary

Any cattle that crosses state roads must be fitted with a device to gather its feces
or have little clowns following behind them, like the horses do in the parades

It is against the law for a man to knit during the fishing season
because nothing is more relaxing than knittin and fishin at the same time

Hunting is prohibited in Mountain View Cemetery
all other cemetery's are open season

Citizens may not greet each other by “putting one’s thumb to the nose and wiggling the fingers”
well, I never!!!

Elephants may not be used to plow cotton fields
ummm, is there zoo animals on the loose in these states or what

It is illegal to lie down and fall asleep with your shoes on
but what if they have narcolepsy?

OHIO, Paulding
A policeman may bite a dog to quiet him
must have some mighty burly policemen

You may not open a soda bottle without the supervision of a licensed engineer
sounds like a "licensed engineer" was on the city council

Dishes must drip dry
hey, was my mom from Oregon?

A person is not eligible to become Governor if he/she has participated in a duel
I guess it is the whole murder is a felony thing

Ropes may not be strung across a highway
but how else are they going to stop traffic

It is perfectly legal to beat your wife on the court house steps on Sundays
ok, I just kind of want to try this one out for fun.  try arresting me fella's, I'll win the case

SOUTH DAKOTA, Fountain Inn
Horses are to wear pants at all times
anyone looking to make some good money in Fountain Inn, here's a great business venture 
It is illegal for a woman to drive a car unless there is a man either running or walking in front of it waving a red flag to warn approaching motorists and pedestrians
that is just mean

TEXAS, Port Arthur
Obnoxious odors may not be emitted while in an elevator
just don't get stuck in one, as evidenced in my post on wednesday

It is illegal NOT to drink milk
oh I know some people that are so breaking this law

Women must obtain written permission from their husbands to wear false teeth

There is a state law prohibiting “corrupt practices of bribery by any person other than candidates
and this is surprising because.......?

You may not ride an ugly horse
but whomever came up with this law should be kicked by an ugly horse

One may not walk a lion, tiger or leopard, even on a leash
what the hell people?

Missiles may not be shot at parade participants
that just took all the fun out of the parade

You may not take a picture of a rabbit from January to April without an official permit
I don't even know what to say

There you have it.  You will thank me when you don't get arrested because you were warned.