Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Dear..... 4.19.11

Howdy Rowdy's.  It's time for my Tuesday Dear..... Letters.  Just to let you know how I'm feeling about things that happened the past week.  Most of all it's to get things out of my system, so I'm less liking to kill hurt people.  :)
I know that the suspense is just too much, so I shall start.
Dear Nutter Butters.  Oh my.  You are a piece of crunchy, peanut-buttery goodness.  As you tickle the tastebuds in my mouth, a feeling of pure joy escapes my lips.  And when I add just a smidge of ice cold milk, in a word, HEAVEN.  Thank you for being in my cupboard.
Dear Rain On Monday.  I know that you feel like we are in need of more moisture.  You must not be watching the weather reports, because we are way over 100% of our water table for the year.  I appreciate that you are not snow, but raining...all...day......long, in a "non-mover" sort of way that the weather people call you, it's not a good thing.  There is only so many sandbags to go around.  Just sayin.
Dear Pain In My Side.  Thank you for sticking to me Sunday and Monday.  I just can't thank you enough for the way you made it so I couldn't breath deep.  Or being to afraid to sneeze.  Do you not realize how good a sneeze feels?  Good thing I didn't panic and look up on Google what it means.  I'm sure if I did, I would have some very rare disease.  I will get you my pretty.
Dear Telemarketer That Left A Voicemail On My Cell Phone.  Ummm, you should know by now, if I don't know the number, I will not answer you.  I will just select "ignore".  Usually you are on the ball and just hang up.  Apparently you were having a really good conversation with one of your fellow workmates.  I have to say, I was totally enjoying the rant you were having.  Us dumb people that don't understand that it might take months for the garbage fine merchandise to work its way into our homes are just making you mad.  I'm sorry.  Maybe you should find another job. 
Dear New Guy That Started Yesterday At Work.  Dude, you are freaking tall.  I mean, really tall.  How would it be to have to duck my head every time I walked through a door.  Yikers.  But hey, should make it a smidge easier for you to reach some of the inventory that others have to use cherry pickers for. 
Dear Spicy Thai Food.  I love you.  I really do.  But I do not love the heartburn that you inflict upon me.  Please take your burning sensation and visit someone else.  
Very Truly Yours