Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Dear..... 4.26.11.

 Hear ye, hear ye.  In honor of this weeks Royal Wedding, I bring you nothing to do with that.  I will bring you instead, this weeks Dear Letters, along with pictures.  The easier to help you "get the picture".  hahaha, cracking myself up again.
Dear Middle of the road jogger.
You are not the only person on the road.  In darkness, rain, snow and fog, it is not a good idea to JOG SMACK DAB IN THE MIDDLE OF THE STREET.  Dude, I promise, if you and I play chicken, I WILL WIN. 

Dear Kleenex Box Makers. 
Do you think you could find it in your hearts to make it a bit easier to get that very first Kleenex out of the box.  Not a pretty site when I have done a huge ole sneeze and can't get the Kleenex out.  Gazuntite.
Dear Owner Of Dogs In Back Of Pickup Trucks.
I think you are the lowest of low owners in the world.  If I am behind you, I DO NOT want to watch your dog fall out of your truck.  IT DOES HAPPEN.  I've seen it happen.  Have you, dear owner, ever heard a dog yelp in severe pain?  Or do you have it in your wee head that animals feel no pain?  News flash, they do.  If you feel the need to take your dog wherever you go, please for the love of my heart rate, have the dog riding alongside you.  Are there no laws against this?  If not, there should be.

Dear Texters. 
I am a texting fool.  If you text me and within the same second I text you back, where in the hell do you go?  Didn't you just barely send the thing?  An answer right back would be the best thing to do.  Not 7 or 8 hours later or, heaven forbid, a week.  I don't understand it.  If you aren't in the mood to talk, no texting allowed.

Dear 3 Dudes At Home Depot.
I know that me and Mr. Dazee are scary monsters.  But really, when the 3 of you are talking, and we are looking like we need a question answered, it's not good customer service for you to scatter like the wind.  And what the hell was the stare down all about?  Were you daring us?  Did you hear me say out loud, "OMG, we are scary honey, look at them run".  Get a non-customer service related job if you are a big wuss, cry baby, scardy cat.

Dear JC Penney Ad
Ummm, a baby sale huh.  Up to 50% off.  Get big savings for you little one?  WTH?  Isn't selling babies against the law?  How in the heck did this get past your ad person.  Oh wait, as I twittered last week, some ad companies need to be fired.  Nuff said. (yes, this is the ad I saw just last night on a site, scary huh)

Not only do you do the cutest crafts and stuff with your kids, but whatever sugar cookie recipe you came up with for the ears of this cute bunny, were the BEST THINGS EVER!!!!  I suggest that you always use that one, and let me test a few dozen for food poisoning.  :)  No charge for my services.  You're welcome. 

Another batch of letters done for the week.  I feel much better now. 
With that being said