Friday, October 21, 2011

Stealth Ninja

Friends, Romans, Countrymen, lend me your eyes.  Nooo, stop, don't be popping them out of their sockets.  Yesh.  First of all, I must thank Christy and Boobies for this wonderful Friday rant session.  Thanks ladies.

Today, we have a special Frack You.  Yes, I'm talking about controlling spouses yet again.  And notice I didn't say men, I said spouses, because I'm not calling any gender out, EVEN THO, the gender I will be speaking of today is the male.  Just know, there are women out there that are just as bad as men.  Just sayin.

Dear Controlling Male Spouses of my friends.
STOP IT.  Who spit in your cheerios while you were growing up to cause you to be such control freaks?  I get so sad and mad when I hear about how your wife is so upset that they they have reached the bottom of the pile.  You think they can not do anything?  You think they are not smart?  Well, guess what?  You had better watch out.  What goes around, comes around.  When you least expect it.  

Now, to a very specific Ex-Husband of my friend.

Dear Shit For Brains,
Your wife divorced you for a reason.  You and I both know what that reason is.  You don't even live in the same State anymore.  You could give a rats ass about your kids.  Oh, but find out that your ex is now engaged, you are going to try to make her life hell.  You can't even afford to live anywhere because your family won't let you live with them, and you spend your money on your addiction.  You want to show up to the wedding.  Ha, I hope you do.  You want to know why?  Because, I have picked out my bridesmaid dress.  
Oh yeah.  Wonderwoman.  I have made a pact with your ex.  You show up, I'm going to go all psycho, crazy stealth ninja, on you.  You won't know what hit you.  

Nobody, I repeat, Nobody does anything to my friends, husband, kids, or grandkids, that makes them hurt.  I may come off as a nice ole grandma, but get me mad, you better get out of my way.  

This is your warning.  

Oh and have a nice day.

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