Friday, March 18, 2011

A Special Dear...... Post

It's Friday, and my brain needs it to be the weekend.  Badly.  So today, I'm doing a special Dear..... post.  I actually got this email and thought it was hilarious and just what the Doctor ordered.  Isn't that just another one of those weird statements. 
I hope these don't offend you.  They're jokes.  OK.  Don't get your panties in a wad.  
Something to offend every one.   (that was what the email was called)

Dear 2010,
So I hear the best rapper is white and the president is black? WTH happened?!
 Sincerely, 1985
Dear J.K. Rowling,
 Your books are entirely unrealistic. I mean, a ginger kid with two friends? Come
on now.
 Sincerely, Anonymous.
Dear Yahoo,
 I've never heard anyone say "I don't know, let's Yahoo it!" Just sayin'...
Sincerely, Google
Dear America,
 You produced Miley Cyrus. Bieber is your punishment.
Sincerely, Canada
Dear Icebergs,
 Sorry to hear about global warming. Karma's a bitch.
Sincerely, The Titanic
Dear Nickleback,
 That's enough.
Sincerely, The World
Dear Scissors,
 I feel your one wants to run with me either.
Sincerely, Sarah Palin
Dear Nazis,
 You did what?!?!?! I said I hate JUICE!!
Sincerely, Adolph Hitler
Dear World of Warcraft,
 Thank you for ensuring my son's virginity.
Sincerely, Parents Everywhere
Dear Customers,
 Yes, we ARE making fun of you in Vietnamese.
Sincerely, Nail Salon Ladies
Dear Americans,
 I'm sorry, did you just insult us? I couldn't hear you over my health care
Sincerely, Canadians
Dear Global Warming,
 You're the best imaginary friend ever!
Sincerely, Al Gore
Dear Santa,
How did you get away with the kids sitting on your lap trick?
Sincerely, Michael Jackson
Dear Ugly People,
 You're welcome.
Sincerely, Alcohol
Dear Mrs. Gump
 WTH are you talking about? There's a little diagram on the lid that tells you
EXACTLY what you're gonna get....
Sincerely, Jenny
Dear Martin Luther King Jr.
 I have a dream within a dream within a dream within another dream.... What now?
Sincerely, Leonardo DiCaprio
Dear World,
 Please stop freaking out about 2012. Our calendars ends there because some
Spanish d-bags invaded our country and we got a little busy ok?
Sincerely, The Mayans
Dear Snooki,
Sincerely, Willy Wonka
Dear iPhone,
 Please stop spellchecking all of my rude words into nice words. You piece of
Sincerely, Every iPhone User
Dear Man,
 It's cute, but can you pick up peanuts with it?
Sincerely, Elephant
Dear Dr. Phil,
 Look man, there's only room for one fake doctor in this world and I was here
Sincerely, Dr. Pepper
Dear Osama Bin Laden,
Sincerely, United States
My day is now complete.  Nothing like a good laugh