Thursday, March 31, 2011


What can I say that will make this all seem real. 

Last night we found out that one of my son's best friend died yesterday.  He was 24.  He left behind his parents and a twin brother
My son met these 2 boys in high school, and they have been best of friends since.  I know that their family life wasn't good.  Matt, would work and help support his family.  He finally made enough to move out and live on his own.

Why is this post titled Why?  Because Matt died of an overdose of heroin.  I'm so mad I could spit nails.  Too many why questions going through my head.

Why does life have to be so freaking hard for some people, and la-de-da for others?  Don't even try to tell me right now that "these are our tests in life".  I don't want to hear it.  I have bad anger issues about "tests in life".

Why is there freaking drugs that people get addicted to?  Why are there a-wipes that sell the crap and make tons of money, and could give a good flying crap how many lives they are ruining, but hey, I have tons of money so I'm going to keep doing it.

Why does someone that is just starting out in adulthood, have to die so young, while others, that have been addicts for as long as I can remember, just keep on living, and have people that coddle them and won't admit that they have a problem?

Why does the mother in me want to take my son into my arms, and cradle him for being a great friend, and be there for him when he needs me.  I guess I just know that when he isn't supporting his friend, he will start the grieving process and as his mother, I cry thinking about how he will be.  He spent last night with the twin brother of Matt and even is having him stay at his home.  Why isn't he home with his parents.  Therein lies some of the problem.

Why as moms and dads do we hurt so freaking bad for our children when things like this happen to them? 


We will miss you Matt.  I hope you are in a better place and that you will find the love that you needed, and deserved,  so badly here.